Our New Year's Eve Bash

Book 109

Lamentations 3:40 - 40. Let us search and try our ways, and turn again to the LORD




It's New Year's Eve, and I'm getting ready to bring it in with a bang. But...a bang isn't what it amount to be with an explosion. I woke up this morning with a mild pain in my right side. I didn't know what to expect, but...I've decided not to think no more of it. At least for now.

My brother-in-law Lorenzo decided to start barbecuing for the start of our New Years Eve bash, because he had to work for the New Year. He had a lot of food to be prepared and to place on the grill: Chicken, hot dogs and hamburger. I love the smell of the grill burning. It reminded me of my FATHER when he was grilling in his front yard. I really miss him very much.

Sherri, our mother Ruth and I sat and watched "In The Heat Of The Night" to pass time while we waited on Lorenzo to put the food on the grill to cook. We loved that show very much. Lots of big things happen in a small imaginary town of Sparta, Mississippi. The moments were peaceful as we sat very quietly on the couch and watched our favorite television sit com. Even my puppy dog Sheba sat quietly without a sound.

I would took a moment out of my time during this post and of the New Year's Eve bash to talk about something that came to mind while I'm sitting with my sister and mother Ruth watching In The Heat Of The Night. Something I thought of that happened 13 years prior before my FATHER died. I remembered a time when I was in my first apartment, I had this dream. It was so weird, I had to tell it in order to ease my conscience about what happened and how it came to pass. I dreamed of my FATHER laying in a casket in this place that was unknown to me.

I didn't know where it was, or how I got there to be exact. This place had so many rooms in it. One of the rooms (this one room in particular) I found my FATHER in the casket. In one of the other rooms, I found this choir singing. I didn't know, or quit comprehend what they were singing, but...they were all lined up in this one room just singing up a storm. This one room I was totally focused on where my FATHER was lying in his casket.

I started walking into this room to see and view my FATHER in his casket. I couldn't believe or place into terms of my FATHER dying! I looked around in this room and I could not find my FATHER. I thought, "That's odd!" I'm in tears, and I'm wondering, 'where is he?'

I was traveling from room to room to room trying to find my FATHER, but I couldn't find him anywhere, like he disappeared into thin air. And then...I came back to the room where the choir were singing their praises. I was crying so hard! Here's how the dream ended. I got up out of my bed and I was looking around for my FATHER in my apartment and I couldn't find him anywhere.

My face was flooded in tears. I looked around as I started back to my bedroom and found that my pillow was soaking wet with my tears. Then...I looked around while I was in my bed out into the living room, wondering where my FATHER was in the equation. I found myself in a catatonic like state for just a brief moment.

Then I came to my senses. I had been up all night with that dream on my mind. I got ready for work. I remembered at work telling a woman who was into the LORD about my dream, and she said, "I dreamed of a wedding, not a funeral." I told myself, "How can that be when I dreamed of my FATHER in a casket?" From that point...I might dreamed of my FATHER'S death and I didn't know it come to pass 13 years to the date. In The Heat Of The Night just ended it's episode. Lorenzo had just finished a round of chicken, butt pork steaks, hamburger and hot dogs, I decided to get started on the baked beans and put the macaroni on for my sister Sherri, because she had just taken our mother for her dialysis treatments. She will then make the cheese for the macaroni when she got back from taking our mother Ruth for her dialysis treatments.

Wow! I really enjoy time with my family at our New Year's Eve barbecue bash. I'm very thankful for the time we share together. Sherri returned to make the cheese for the macaroni, I stood and watched,  while the rest of my immediate family stood around outside talking and laughing about everything that was mentioned, while my brother-in-law Lorenzo finished cooking on the grill. Still...the thought of my FATHER cooking on his grill brought back a lot of wonderful memories. Memories that would last a lifetime.

I finished up the baked beans; Sherri had just finished the cheese for the macaroni. She placed two long pans of macaroni and cheese in the oven. She then put a pot of Italian green beans.We waited until everything were ready to eat. Sherri and I couldn't wait until the real celebration for our barbecue bash began so that we as a immediate family can really began sharing time together and enjoying the barbecue (chicken, butt pork, hamburgers and hot dogs) macaroni and cheese, baked beans and real Italian green beans.

Wow...I can't wait until then! And to end it all...my family and I were to attend watch night services (church) to bring the New Year in the name of GOD and his son JESUS. Wow! I pray that my family and I make it to see the New Year 2019 come in. I will be truly a blessing indeed.

Resolutions: Only If They Are Promised

Book 108 -

Matthew 24:36 - 36. But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of Heaven, but my Father only. 





What is a resolution? I know is a thought, or a decision to doing something constructive, or making plans to do something I feel that is very exciting, especially when it comes to the New Year. Many people make plans on what their resolution for the New Year would be. I'm not for making a resolution if you don't know if you're going to be here to see it or not. I like to live one day at a time, because everyday isn't promised to no one. Only GOD and his son JESUS gives resolutions to every one's life.

I don't know! I guess I'm not into planning when it comes to life and its values. I only live one day at a time and pray that GOD and his son JESUS to spare my life as I go into the New Year, or even before. That's the only belief I have when it comes to resolutions and keeping it on the real when it comes to my life. My family and I have those values and thoughts of not believing in things like making a New Year's resolution and planning on what were going to do when that time comes. We all got to remember that everyday isn't promised to no one no matter if every one in this galaxy believes me or not. I'm going to be on the real when it comes to New Year's resolutions.

I know as sure as I'm writing this post, I maybe putting a damper on every one's New Year's resolutions and what they're planning when that time comes...and that's a big if. As a matter of fact...I'm only being logical and stating the facts. If I'm putting a damper on every one's resolution for the New Year, than I'm sorry! I apologize. I'm must stating the logic of what's true to the fact.

As I stated...I'm praying to GOD and his son JESUS that I make it to see the New Year and many days, weeks, months and years, that's all I'm saying.

Open Discussion: Everything Is Worth The Communication

Book 107 - Open Discussion Communication -

There's a time once again for open discussions on Author: Terri Celestine Brunson. You can talk about anything you want in this post. It could be anything you want: Love, Happiness, Conversations with friends, family, or associates, this post is for everyone with a positive attitude. Lets give a little coffee talk here at Author: Terri Celestine Brunson. Who's the first to start communicating?  Everyone...join in the coversation on Disqus.

Indiscretions Are Easy To Forgive But Hard To Forget

Book 106 -

Romans 12:2 - 2. And be not confirmed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that we may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect will of GOD.

Ephesians 4:31 - 32 - 31. Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice. 32. And be ye kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as GOD for Christ sake hath forgiven you.

I just had a unkindly thought that would make any one's stomach turn to the point of no return, if...thoughts were made of steal, I would have a "hard" time thinking twice of what I'm about to say. I had a thought about an ex cousin of mine, and I remembered something she did that made me feel really bad. I didn't want to bring up old rubbish and relex in the same breath, but...this need to come out on Author: Terri Celestine Brunson so that I can feel better about myself and be understood at the same time. I was with my sister at my sister-in-law Neyome's home; this thought I had was when I asked my ex cousin (of whom I will keep anonymous) for a appointment to cut my hair down a little at the top and back. She wouldn't accept the appointment, because she made all kinds of excuses of why she could keep my appointment.

I began to think, "Was it because she didn't have time to cut my hair, or she didn't want to do it at all?" I had my thoughts and questions to match about what I was thinking when my sister and I was turned down by our own cousin. It seemed that every time I asked her for an appointment, she either say, "Oh...I don't have time, or I can't do it." It seemed odd that my ex cousin had an excuse for every time I  scheduled an appointment for my hair, she 'flat out' turn me down. She never turned down anyone else down, but...my sister and myself.

I thought, "What did my sister and I do to our ex cousin for her not to give us a cut, or a style?" I truly believe that she fell 'out of tune' with us mentally, emotionally and completely. Like she was too good to put her hands into our hair. Only a person with common sense would think otherwise. I guess my sister and I had more common sense to notice that our ex cousin and the rest of our extended family did not want anything else to do with us if we weren't made of money, or had hair that was worth styling.

"Living like The Joneses" I would call it. No time, no acknowledgement, and no money (in which we didn't have) for them to even give my sister and I and my immediate family circle the time of day to know, or see if we were even part of their equation. I don't know why she acted the way she did, but...I know that when it comes to peeping over the horizon, I say, "Forget what was once was and focus on what's in front of me which is family." What was once was, is now a part of my past. I don't think I'll ever give my ex cousin the time of day ever again.

It was just a thought I had. I had to write it in my post so that I can feel better about myself, because my immediate family has been hurt so much by my extended family to the point that we want nothing to do with them. Either one of them! I can say that I can live without them and wouldn't think twice if they existed. I don't think it's all bad to not want someone there in your life if they don't appreciate you. I choose not to include my ex cousin, or the rest of the extended family in my equation, or in my thoughts.

I forgive all those who hurt my immediate family circle, but...I want forget their indescretions.

The Heart Of Christmas Spirit

Book 105 -

Isaiah 11:2 - 2. And the spirit of the LORD shall rest upon him, the spirit of wisdom and understanding, the spirit of counsel and might, the spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the LORD.

It looks as though the Christmas  festivities are done and over with. I'm looking forward to the New Year 2019. What can I say about the memories my family and I shared over the Christmas Holiday? Tons and tons of presents to open and the enjoyment of watching all children of my family open their presents, revealing what they got for Christmas. Wow...what a moment that was.

My son got almost a thousand dollars worth of clothes, video games and shoes galore in his assortment of gifts from his father. I was totally amazed for the amount of gifts Zachary's father sent him. I don't think I ever doubt Zach's father about anything else, but...to come and see him more than twice a year. I don't think in Zachary's case, material things will ever amount up to physically seeing and spending time with him on a regular basis. That will mean more to Zach, than clothes, shoes and video games.

At least that's what Zachary told me. I'm for one acknowledge the fact that his father need to get on the ball and come and see his son more often. I know! Too much talk about my son and his father, my focus is on my family's festivities. After all the children opened all of their presents, it was time to eat. Octavia...my niece, fixed plates for everyone so that everyone would get their equal share of the vittles being distributed.

Everyone sat down and ate until their hearts content. It was good eating! Everything down to the turkey and ham was totally scrumptious. Dessert...don't even ask about that! If everyone in my family really had a sweet tooth for all the desserts we had (apple pie, sweet potato pie, peach pie, carrot cake and red velvet cake) we would all be arrested for the crime of getting sugarcoated.

Afterwords...it was time to relax and have the full extent of family time with laughter filled with memories. Who could ever in pass up on all the memories my family and I could share in a heartbeat? We talked about all the past-times each of us lived to the fullest extent. Some of the memories we're about the times when most of us were growing up and did things the were completely out of the ordinary. My times were about my FATHER and the memories I shared with him when he was alive.

Every moment shared with my immediate family and friends were the best I have had. I hope that next year (if GOD and his son JESUS) spare all of our lives, we can have memories more greater than the ones here and now. I'm very thankful to the ones here and now. It was a pure monologue of the Christmas Spirit filled with love, happiness, hope and joy.

Joy To The World For The Love Of Family

Book 104 -

John 14:27 - Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you; not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

2 Thessalonians 3:16 - Now the LORD of peace himself give you peace always by all means. The LORD be with you all.


Romans 15:33 - 33. Now the GOD of peace will be with you all. Amen.

Christmas Eve is here and I'm enjoying family time with my immediate family. What a day to treasure a great memory. Sherri and I will be cooking a little later in the day. We found a little money to work with in getting Christmas gifts for at least the children of our immediate family. I'm really thankful for that.

Sherri had a small five minute video on her tablet she shared with our mother, me and herself. We looked at the video; Sherri's grandbaby Christmas caroling during a school play. Wow! What a treat just to observe the video. Sherri's grandbaby Justin was so cute dressed as one of the wise men during the birth of JESUS.

He didn't participate in much in the play; Justin stood mostly silent during the entire play, but..it was okay. Sherri and I enjoyed the caroling from the kids performing Christmas Carol's. After it was over, Justin was to receive his ornament off of the Christmas tree in the facility. What a joy it was just to be there at Justin's Christmas play. A wonderful memory to place into my time capsule.

Sherri's other grandbaby, Christian decided he wanted to go to the store and get a donut. I observed as he kept begging for one. I laughed at the expression he had on his face. Sherri gave into her grand baby and took him to the store for that donut. The memories of that moment we're piling up with warmth and beauty.

The excited expression on Christian's face was totally phenomenal. You could help but to look at him smile. I got to admit...when time like the ones I share with my family are a total blessing. I never feel left out of anything like I feel when I was with my extended family. Total loneliness when I was with my extended family will leave you invisible.

I'm just blessed to have my immediate family circle. I feel totally close to home when I'm with my family. Wow! What a wonderful feeling to have at every direction of life and not worry about if you're there or not. Joy, peace, and happiness was what Sherri, my mother Ruth, and I made it in one outstanding moment.

A memory in itself. No one else can compete with the love we have when it comes to enjoying time with my immediate family circle.

Just Another Day In Paradise

Book 103 -

Philippians 1:3 - 5 - 3. I thank my GOD upon every remembrance of you, 4. Always in every prayer of mine for you all making request with joy, 5. For your fellowship in the gospel from the first day until now.

We're on our (Sherri and I) to pick up our mother from dialysis. It's just another day for us, we still got a lot of Christmas shopping to do and no money to do it with. I guess this is the season of the struggle we go through everyday. Most of all...I can say, "We still got our life, health and strength and the blood running warm in our veins and that's a blessing in it self.

I think about what it would of been like if I still had my FATHER here for the Holiday's on top of game, breathing the breath of life and joking around? That's a memory in itself I choose to keep closest to my heart. I miss him so much and it's hard to fathom sometimes, but I rejoice the life he lived on this Earth. I'm still moving on with life though. What else can do, or say to bring my FATHER back to family?

I know for sure that it's difficult to bring anyone back if you have that divine faith like GOD and his son JESUS has. I'm only thankful that I had my FATHER most of my natural mortal life. I had to reminisce my FATHER for just a brief moment. My sister and I are very at the dialysis center to pick up our mother. Sherri went in the facility to retrieve her while I sat in the car writing about it and accepting it as one of my memories.

Usually our mother would have us to stop at a store, or a restaurant to get her something to eat. Our mother had us to stop at Burger King to get her a order of fries. That's it! Nothing else. I guess it was one of our mother's days that she wasn't all that hungry after getting off the dialysis machine.

The wait in the line at Burger King was very demanding. Someone had to of ordered a very huge order, or the wait in the car line wouldn't of been so bad. "What the heck!" 15 - 20 minutes in line...something has got to give. "What is going on here?" I'm sold on slowness.

Maybe we'll move in the car line  someday. Only the thought of this day can be placed in my time capsule of memories. Yes indeed! What a blast that last 15 to 20 minutes in my day. We went home afterwards.

We (Sherri, mother and I) arrived home and sat out the remainder of the day watching Cold Case, laughing and talking other things that memories are made of.

Why Waste Time On Things We Can't Change

Book 102

Colossians 1:20 - 20. And having made peace through the blood of his cross, by him to reconcile all things unto himself; by him, I say whether they be things in Earth, or things in Heaven




I find it more than a waste of my time to keep dawning on things that doesn't need no more of my attention. I can sort of reflect on the matter my ex aunt's and why I keep them so logical in my blog posts. It's obvious that they were the main source of why I go through so many trial and tribulations. I got to talk about them no matter what the cost is to practically complete this post. I don't know about how much more I can stand, but the thought of those two women and what they done to me and immediate family, I find it more of a healing process for me in particular.

The more I speak of them about everything they have done to my immediate family and myself, it's seems...the better I feel in the long run. When I find myself wanting and yearning to get back at them for everything they've done to my family and I...I find myself praying for them in return. I'm not going to sell myself short of an ounce of happiness just because...my ex aunts decided to steal, kill and destroy everything that was valuable to my family. I'm going to keep going on and living my life to the fullest. Try not to think of them so much.

Just maybe I'll finally get over being so mad and upset over my ex aunt's indiscretions. The logic of it is far too old to fathom wasting time on their pathetic lives. Every now and then I'll write about them in good omens when it time to bring up old rubbish. It's still part of my healing process. And...I don't want to waste time healing old wounds.

What more can I possibly give to what's worth wild than to be proscribed a hypnosis session to talk about things that matters to me? I'm resting on a couch in a deep coma and I'm spilling my guts to find some sort of closure when it comes to communicating about my FATHER. Maybe closure will finally become a factor...maybe it wont. I know that it won't. Only GOD and his son JESUS will continue to be my rock of glory and everything will finally be okay.

The Jollies Of Christmastime With Our Families

Book 101 -

Leviticus 23:4 - 8 - 4. These are the feasts of the LORD, even holy convocations which ye shall proclaim in their seasons. 5. In the fourteenth day of the first month at even is the LORD'S Passover. 6.And on the fifteenth day of the same month is the feast of unleavened bread unto the LORDS: seven days ye must eat unleavened bread. 7. In the first day ye shall have an holy convocation: ye shall do no service work there in. 8. But ye shall offer an offering made by fire unto the LORD seven days: in the seventh day is an holy convocation: ye shall do servile work therein.

4

Christmastime is coming to town. Lots of shopping to do; lots of cooking that will set off an aroma in all America's kitchens. Kids will be out of school in a matter of days. Spending time with family during the Christmas holidays brings back the American way of tradition. I'm so ready for the holidays.

I haven't started my Christmas shopping and I don't want to wait until the last minute to the point that the store are very crowded. I may get some shopping done in a few days from now. My sister and I got a lot to do when it come around to cooking our traditional Christmas dinner. I believe this year we may get a ham instead of a turkey, some candied yams, string beans, squash casserole, macaroni and cheese, cranberry sauce, deviled eggs, and to top it off my brother-in-law's famous corn bread dressing. That's what I'm talking about...the best of the best in a Christmas feast.

I think about all the presents that will be present under the tree. Wow...what a sight that would be? Then I think of my FATHER...my third Christmas without his presence. It's still hard sometimes to imagine that he's not going to ever spend a Holiday with my family and I again. But...I rejoicing that he's in a better place for Christmas that is more Heavenly than on Earth.

I'm totally thankful for that and for my family circle and for my dog Sheba. In tell my FATHER that Sheba's fine and we're (my family and I) are taking good care of her for him. I can continue to smile with joy that everything will be fine according to the fact that my FATHER is gone to Glory. Merry Christmas to everyone who will view, read, or maybe comment on this post. I'm very thankful.

100th Milestone Post - Our Lives Is Like A Box Of Chocolates

Book 100 - A Milestone Post -

1 Peter 1:3 - 3. Blessed be the GOD and father of our LORD JESUS Christ, which according to his abundant mercy hath begotten us again unto a lively hope by the resurrection of JESUS Christ from the dead. 

Ecclesiastes 6:12 - 12. For who knoweth what is good for man in this life, all the days of his vain life which he spendeth as a shadow. For who can tell a man what shall be after him under the sun? 





*I'm pleased to announce my 100th milestone post to everyone who supported me by just viewing and acknowledging my posts with comments. Thanks again for your support everyone.


When life is like a box of chocolates you never ever know what you're going to get, no matter what, or how life goes. It's just a mystery we all need to figure out if only GOD and his son JESUS spare all of our lives. My twin sister and I have those moments when our thoughts get the best of us. There were so many thoughts of our past-times we can't seem to let go. It's just a number on our horizon that we haven't figured out according to our feelings when it comes to two members of our extend family.

One - Why do our ex aunts of our extended family seem to hate us so much that they had to steal from us? That's one instance! Two - What was it a purpose to steal, kill and destroy everything that belonged to my immediate family and myself? Three - Why greed was such a factor when it came to my FATHER'S estate? Four - Why was a Power of Attorney such a powerful weapon to use against my immediate family and I over the course of six months to gain control of my FATHER and his estate to keep us from having any say over anything about my FATHER?

The answer was simply obvious down to the buttered tooth of deceit, deception and indiscretion. "MONEY!" When money is used as the root of all evil, you know that all hell would break loose. My sister and I never thought our family would struggle so hard after our FATHER'S death. My ex aunts have no idea of our lives and what they both put my immediate family and I through when they decided to take over our FATHER'S life and over our family.

I think about the time when my ex aunts and their siblings had their struggles growing up. Yes...my FATHER told me and my siblings the story of when he had to stop going to school full time and get a part time job at a place called Sho-More Fertilizer to make ends meet for his immediate family. My FATHER'S...father (my grandfather) was a drunk and didn't really support his family like he should. My FATHER had to step in as the head of house...take care of his mother (my grandmother) and his three sisters and two brothers. I remember my FATHER telling me about the time they had to eat oranges for two weeks, nothing else.

The thought of my FATHER going to school part time to care for his immediate family and eating oranges for two weeks, brought back what I was feeling about my ex aunts and how they treated my immediate family for the last six months of my FATHER'S life. I asked myself, "How could they treat their brothers family like 'something' on the bottom of their shoes?" That question in itself was obvious to answer when the thought of it was so simple. "My ex aunts didn't give a hang about my FATHER, or his immediate family, or myself no matter the consequences; they didn't care so as long as they were banking on my FATHER'S life and disrespecting his family with no respect for him." Greed guided their lives when they had a truck backed all the way up to the door of my FATHER'S house two days after his burial and removing his possessions from his house.

That told me how much my ex aunts really cared for their brother...my FATHER. No one in their right mind would of did what they did over a live family. "My immediate family!" But...when it comes to GOD and his son JESUS vengeance, "Woe beyond to their evil deeds, because GOD and his son JESUS don't like ugly at all. I hate to be in their shoes when my pilots vengeance do them in.

All I can think about is when greed guides the lives of people of whom I thought loved us; it makes me sad to the fact of acknowledging what is and what's not when it comes to hate and disgust. I kind of suspected the attitudes of my ex aunts from the time they buried their mother...my grandmother. Nothing about them or anyone else in my extended family has ever been the same since. It's like being out of existence to everyone on that side in mind, body and soul...more like invisible. But...I know one day my immediate family and I will be first to see the many blessings that will come to us, and for my ex aunts, the repercussions will be the last thing they see for what's coming to them, and when it comes to their reaping time.

Claiming Victory On The Battlefield

Book 99

Ephesians 6:18 - 18. Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints.




When GOD and his son JESUS had everything in their unchanging hands, you seem to have the whole world lifted off your shoulders. I know in my heart that they have fought battle after battle for me so that I can live in peace. I don't think I could of gotten it better than that. When I think of the times I've been hurting and grieving because of the death of my FATHER, I find myself praising GOD and his son JESUS for deliverance, and for grace to move on without hesitation. No more feeling sorry for myself because my FATHER is in a better place.

It's hard to imagine sometimes that he's not here, it's hard not to smell his barbecue, or to hear him mortally to talk, laugh and joke around. But...by GOD and his son JESUS, I can now rejoice unto my heart's content and I can continue to be happy. I can continue to live with that fact that I don't have any indiscretions of any sort what so ever. But my GOD and his son JESUS will bring vengeance to those (my two ex aunts) who mentally, financially, and emotionally hurt me and my immediate family with their evil ways they "dumped" upon us when we were at our weakest times of despair. Woe beyond to them! I give all my hurt, pain, and disgust to GOD and his son JESUS that I can finally feel and be comforted with their grasps with security upon my body.

I know now I will feel good, great and awesome after I struggled for two whole years with total grief for my FATHER. I can now manage my anger towards my ex aunt's who brought me and my immediate family circle pain and despair. What more can I say about the way I feel about things, but to pray and forgive those who brought pain and despair to my life and the lives of my immediate family. Prayer changed a whole lot in my life and I will continue to pray with guidance and understanding. I can imagine a DITTO for my standards for being grateful to my pilots in Heaven.

The Point In Being Right When You Don't Want To Be Wrong

Book 98 -

Exodus 14:14 - 14. The LORD shall fight for you, and you shall hold your peace.

I found myself thinking ahead of everything in my life. In one instance I saw myself more prouder than I ever been in my whole entire life. I finally come to terms with the fact that my FATHER'S gone. I know he's never coming back. I know that he's in a better place than this desolate place that we call earth.

I can live with myself knowing that I don't have to think twice about being an accomplice of what happened to my FATHER the last six months of his life, or selling myself as a martyr to everything that has happened during the last six months of my FATHER'S life until his death. I can say, "I'm totally out in the clear with no flaws, and with no indiscretions holding me back from a wonderful life. What more can I think of than to be just out right happy, glad, and great with pride and wisdom? Needless to say, "I'm full of joy and happiness and I'm moving on with life as I see fit to live for the first time in two years" Thank GOD and his son JESUS for my happiness.

I got to say this! I knew that my ex aunt had a party for my twin cousins tonight. I couldn't not attend, because I couldn't see myself there in the mist of people who down right don't give a hang about me or my immediate family if we would of came. Knowingly that when it comes around to us sitting a table alone with no one to communicate with us the entire time like we weren't there, I felt that using common sense would be the most logical thing to do. The logic was, "Don't come and be the black sheep that we've always been" under their wings. I didn't want to suffer that fate at any point necessary.

The more responsible thing to do was to stay home and enjoy my immediate family like always, even with our family dog Sheba. I like that in a heart beat! I know I'm right about how I feel and I know I'm not wrong about what I'm saying when it come to my extended family. This is what my immediate family feel about attending any events, parties, and get togetherness with extended family. I don't think we'll ever be family again.

My FATHER'S demise left a family so separated (thanks to my ex aunt who I still chose to keep anonymous) for breaking up both families. I have no will to ever put our families (extended and immediate) back together again. What's the point when you have an extended family who don't want to give the time of day? My immediate family and I will continue to move on without any hesitation...maybe go to Disney World to see Mickey and Minnie Mouse...have fun....what ever it takes to continue to be happy with life to the fullest.

Lies Two Ways More Than One

Book 97 -

Hosea 7:3 - 3. Work unto them! For they have fled from me. Destruction unto them! Because they have transgressed against me; though I have redeemed them, yet they have spoken lies against me.



When it come to thinking about everything that has gone on in my life, I have come to a conclusion that resulted in a decision that I had to make on my own free will. I've decided not to give my extended family anymore of my life, my time, but...my love will continue to be there for them no matter what. After the lies that was told to me from my ex aunt (who will continue to remain anonymous) I never want her to visit my home again, no matter what. I don't think my immediate family and I will ever get the full truth from either of my ex aunts about what really happened to all of my FATHER'S things two days after my immediate family and I buried him. The lies and all the lies for the sake of lying will continue to go on no matter how long it takes to get the real truth out of those two women.

I just the understand the concept of why everything had to be kept a secret between them (my ex aunt's)  when it come to my FATHER'S well being, his health, and especially his finances. But...I know for sure that deception will always continue to guide their natural lives until they come clean about everything that has happened since my FATHER'S death. Deception and their indiscretions  played a part in all the dirt they have done to my immediate family and myself, and GOD and his son JESUS will claim their vengeance over them when they least expect it. And...I would hate to be in their shoes when that day comes. Why my ex aunt's continue to lie about what really happened with my FATHER'S health and his finances?

Only time will tell with a blink of an eye and the light that shines upon our grief that the truth will finally come out for the sake of my immediate family and for myself. My ex aunts will then find themselves on their knees pleading for forgiveness from the almighty GOD and his son JESUS for their evil and deceitful ways and their sins and indiscretions. And from that...my immediate family and I shall find peace. I look forward to that. My FATHER will finally rest in peace.

I want nothing more to do with my ex aunt's... possibly...the family. I get so sick and tired of the repeated lies and the deception. My immediate family and I deserve the truth and I'm wondering if we'll ever get the truth from those two women. I doubt it seriously! Because...deceit, deception and indiscretion will always guide their lives, no matter what.

Faults Of A Father To His Family

Book 96 -

James 5:16 - 16. Confess your faults one to another and pray one for another that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of righteous man availeth much.

1 Peter 2:20 - 20. For what Glory is it, if when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently. But if...when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently. This is acceptable with GOD




I found myself in deep thought of my FATHER'S faults against his family that lead to my extended family's silence against my immediate family. Its obvious to say this for a fact in the matter of my FATHER'S indiscretions. When he spoke against his immediate family about everything that goes on behind closed doors, you get a sense betrail in every direction you look, or every turn you make no matter what. I give a lot of fault to my FATHER of why my extended family don't give my immediate family and I the time of day...even though...most of them share some sort of respect for us generally. I guess when my parents in general had their ups and downs throughout their marriage, my FATHER had some sort of dislike (not hate) against my mother Ruth.

Not everyday my parents shared their day, or any brief encounters at all, just a word here and there and that's it. I do remember a time my FATHER told his brother-in-law Ron about the way my mother kept her house (things out of place and unclean) on a daily basis. I figured from that time when he told his brother-in-law that (which the brother-in-law might of relayed his response about my immediate and I to everyone else in my extended family) that my mother Ruth kept a dirty house was the reason why everyone in my extended family didn't eat from us when my FATHER'S had his restaurant. Don't get me wrong here about speaking ill my FATHER. This was a thought that came from my heart when I think of the negative side of my FATHER'S indiscretions.

His thoughts of his immediate family wasn't all peaches and cream; it was like oil and water. It was like a simple case of dislike in so many ways. It was hard to figure whether my FATHER had at least 99% of love for his immediate family, and then that 1% of dislike to make everything complete. It was hard in a whole lot of ways to figure him out for that matter. I know for a fact that my immediate family is totally without a doubt "ignored" completely from parties, events and get togetherness in every sense.

Nothing will help the fact that my FATHER spoke against his immediate family about certain things that didn't need to be said, especially when it came from behind close doors. This is why both of our families don't have anything in common when it comes to being on point with everything that is going on between our two families. This is why we don't talk period about anything all.  I truly believe this was why when my FATHER closed his eyes for eternity, it ended a relationship (even though my immediate family haven't had a relationship in over thirty years with our extended family) ended completely without thought, or hesitation. My immediate family and I can now deal with the fact that my extended family doesn't want anything else to do with us.

It proves a fact. That we (my immediate family and I) are not a part of their cup of tea when it comes to having and being more like "The Joneses" in every sense of value that are the most highest in regards for their way of life. My immediate family and I may not have the top of the world sitting on our shoulders, but we have each other at the end of the tunnel. And when we meet each on the other side of that tunnel, we do it with heart, love and understanding. That's why my immediate family and I can do without them in every way we can and have more fun together in a micro second doing it.

I find that everything I said in my post is based on fact, and my opinion. The one thing I don't do is sugarcoat the truth as I see fit to its facts. If it hurt those who read it, and have a sense of doubt of what is being said, all I can do is to express myself as I see fit, because..."It was the way it happened in every sense." I'm proud to be happy and be a part of my immediate family's circle of love. I will never give that up for anything but GODS and his son JESUS love for my immediate family.

Don't get me wrong here, because of my post. This was my deepest thoughts when it came to my FATHER'S negative indiscretions of his immediate family. I felt I needed to get it out of my system with every ounce of my feelings. I still love him anyway's no matter what, because he was in fact my FATHER. I still love him even though he's in his grave.

To end this post for sure, "My mother Ruth wasn't a true housekeeper (all perfect) in every sense, but...she did keep a clean house most part" just to let everyone know and that's a fact.

The Wonders Of The Lights

Book 95 -

1 John 1:2 - 1. For the life was manifested, and we have seen it, and bear witness and she's unto you that eternal life, which was with the Father, and was manifested unto us.



There's nothing like spending time with family. We just got back from a event called the Lights of Lakeland on the highlands side of the City of Lakeland. It's was just a brief walk through, lots happening. There were different settings to visit. The most important one was a tour of Bethlehem.

What was my most favorite attraction. Everything seemed so real as my family and I walked through each and every settings at Lights of Lakeland. Even all the way up to the birth of Christ. What a sight to see as I looked at the woman who played as the Virgin Mary hold the baby known as baby Jesus in her arms. I felt the realness of the moment far as I could see as though I was back in that era in time.

Afterwords...it didn't take long at all for my family and I to walk out of the Lights of Lakeland attraction before we were on our way back to our cars. Why was our visit so short? Because...my son, niece and nephews didn't want to take any pictures with any of the super hero's at the attraction. So with that said with just a short tour, we left as fast as we breezed through. My family and I found our cars and we left the attraction for home...where the heart was.

My brother-in-law agreed to bring the smaller children back to Lights of Lakeland the next day, so that they will be able to take pictures with all the super hero's that were present there. Maybe that time around when my family and I visit, our visit would be much longer than we can possibly imagine staying to a wonderful attraction. I look forward to which was from yesterday, striving towards today when our visit would be magical. My family and I gathered for our tour at the Lights of Lakeland. It would be hours from now until we take that magical tour.

I look forward to visiting once again.

"Two Years"

Book 94 - Special Edition Post

Exodus 14:14 - 14. The LORD shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace.

There is not a day...not a day I don't think about him. It's hard sometimes when you deal with a death. It's hard knowing that my FATHER is no longer here to joke around, laugh that funny laugh, give you that blank look when he's serious about being funny about something, no matter what. Let me not forget. His world famous barbecue.

Wow! How can I forget my FATHER'S barbecue? That falling off the bone taste. Wow! I still can't believe it's been two years since his death.

I can kind of deal with things now. I don't cry as much as I use to. I've learned to live and move on from grief. But still...I catch myself looking at his picture from time to time, capturing some wonderful memories of my FATHER. LORD only knows there were a lot more of those wonderful memories where that came from.

Without a doubt, and with the help of GOD and his son JESUS. My heart may heal one day of the gash it sustain from the horrible and evil ways of my ex aunts and what they did to my FATHER. I just don't want to continue to wollow in self pity, grief and anger. GOD and his son JESUS is now in control of the madness that dewell within me and in my family. But...there is one thing to be true, "I miss my FATHER soooooo much." 

There nothing or no one in the world take his place. Ever! If there is anything that I can only think of, is that...I believe he did in fact make it into Heaven. Only GOD and his son JESUS only knows that. I love my FATHER with all my heart, body, and soul and no one can take that from me ever.

It's been two years, and it's going to continue to be hard for my family and myself. How can I ever get over the fact that my FATHER is no longer here? I don't think anyone in this whole world can really get over someones death. You got to be cast iron to do that. The outspokenness of my character will never get over what has made me weak in the heart.

"I was in fact a daddy's girl indeed." 

When The Lies Weigh More Than The Truth

Book 93 -

Hosea 7:13 - 13. Work until them! For they have fled from me: destruction until them, because they have tresgressed against me: though I have redeemed them, yet they have spoken lies against me.




What's it going to take to tell the truth? What is going to take for some people to stop lying to themselves? Those questions are obvious. Never...that's how! I had asked my aunt, who will remain anonymous to come over to my home to give me some kind if closure about my FATHER.

I wondered, what was taking her so long to come over to my home so that we can talk about my FATHER, his finances, his life. About an hour later, I saw police racing down the road about yards from my home. I didn't know what to make of what was happening until I saw another police car racing down the road on a emergency call. At lease... that's what I thought it was. Then my aunt called me.

My aunt said (who will continue to remain anonymous) she had backed into a deep ditch trying to turn around from on of the side road yards from my home. Police stayed with her until a tow truck arrived to pull her out. I responded immediately to her call. I got into my car and proceeded down to where she was in the ditch. I waited with police for a tow truck to come and pull her out of the ditch.

After thirty more minutes, my aunt was finally pulled out of the ditch. She decided to come to my home after her hour long ordeal in that deep ditch, to try in give my sister and I some kind of closure about our FATHER. I welcomed her inside my home even though...how I felt about her was a whole lot of animosity.  She and her sister (who are now my ex aunts) treated my family and I like we weren't there when they had Power of Attorney over my FATHER'S life, over my live family. She came in the living room and made herself comfortable.

I immediately question her about my FATHER'S finances (Retirement and his social security) and other things that needed to be asked about. She told me some things that made me think about the fact that she was continuously lying to me and my sister about our FATHERS finances and estate. I truly believe she scheme some of my FATHER'S social security for the last six months of my FATHER'S life and also his retirement. Here's another lie my ex aunt told me on top of the lie she told about my FATHER'S finances and estate. She told me that her and my brother had a secret between them about some money from a bank account my FATHER had.

My ex aunt said that there was a thousand dollars in one of his accounts that my immediate family and I didn't know about...as she assumed it was. She said that it was between my her and my brother she had this secret. She told me that my brother had told her to keep the money in the account. And for the life of me...there was no way...no way my brother told her that. "No way!"

Then I say, "My ex until thinks I'm a fool to believe that my brother gave her a thousand dollars from an account she said my FATHER had without telling his family." She was totally nuts that I figured her to be. And in another instance, my ex aunt  told me that she didn't know where my FATHER'S suits, hats, bicycle, floor television, rings, necklaces and the whole nine yards was (just like my other ex aunt) she didn't know where everything was. All I can say is that one of them (or both of them) is totally lying for the sake of lying and GOD and has son JESUS will handle them with vengeance.  Then I come to an conclusion about the fact that this woman who "was" an aunt of mine, was continuously lying about everything with my FATHER'S finances, his clothes, and his entire estate.

Greed has guided both of my ex aunt's lives no matter who they hurt. There was no way I can trust them again. No way! I guess the thing to do right now is to give my ex aunts lies and deception to GOD and his son JESUS. Because that's the only justice for my FATHER that I can get from my ex aunt's indiscretions is the love of my pilots.

My sister and I will try to move on with life without either one of them and their families. I'm so tired of the lies and deception.