Thinking About M O T H E R S Day Blues

 Book 199

John 16:22 - 22. And ye now therefore have sorrow; but I will see you again, and your heart shall rejoice, and your joy no man taketh from you

 

It is still fresh in our hearts, our M O T H E R S death. Grief has no season according to our reality when it comes to our M O T H E R. Sherri, Wesley Jr. and I long for our M O T H E R each day of our lives, never letting go of her is a hard thing to do right at this very moment I...myself...think of her without a break. I remember when I spoke to my brother just a few days ago. His whole conversation was about our M O T H E R. He said, "She just came across my mind all of a sudden, and it hit me very heart to the point I started crying." I never thought till this day I would hear my brother cry, being the man that he is. Our M O T H E R S death broke him down to a breaking point, missing her was totally a precious moment in all of our lives. 

My brother did not want to tell our Sherri about his break down being that she was epileptic. Our conversations was between Wesley and I. We were having a M O T H E R S day blues just shy of M O T H E R S Day. None of us could go out to our M O T H E R S grave, because it was too painful for us to visit her, knowing that she was no longer with us in our hearts, but in spirit. Sherri, Wesley Jr. and I pray about it from time to time, and maybe our grief will come a little bit more easy for us to bare. Like I always say, "Grief doesn't have a time limit" and I felt this hurt will always be with us the rest of our lives. 

We know that we are not the only ones experiencing a death in the family. But...prayer changes everything in its place. Sherri, Wesley Jr. and I will manage our grief one day at a time. 

An Unfounded Dose Of Betrayal

 Book 172

Mark 11:25 - 25. And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any; that your Father also which is in Heaven may forgive you your trespasses

One day niece, you will know what it feel like to be betrayed by the one that suppose to love you unconditionally. One day niece, you will know what it feel like to be ignored when you call out to that person by their name and that person keeps walking away from you without listening to what you had to say to them and them without uttering a sound. One day niece, you will know what it feel like for you to want a hug and that person tells you that "they don't want that hug, or they don't want to talk to you, or they don't want you to touch them and they just walk out to door so full of resentment against you because...they found a indiscretion that you did that they didn't like." Understand niece, how it feels to be betrayed by the person you thought suppose to love you no matter what circumstances hit over the horizon. After all said and done, your eyes are so full of tears, because...you can't fathom the thought of what you did that was so wrong that person seem to carry so much hate. 

Yes...the facts are mutual that it is a love/hate relationship this person carries for you that you can't understand why they are doing this you when all you did was to love them with all of your might. One day niece, you are going to ask yourself, "Why did I do this to the one that loves me unconditionally without thinking twice." One day niece, you are going to imagine the thought of what you done to bring unhappiness, tears, and depression to the one who only want to reason with you when you said, "I didn't utter a greeting to you that morning, when it was obvious that you get the same greeting every morning you enter the front room. Now, it is time that I give you niece an ultimatum! How you carried yourself that morning was totally unfounded and it was betrayal to you've endured on me when all you would of received is love unconditionally. 

All this boils down to niece was all you had to do was to tell me my indiscretion straight forward and that indiscretion would of made a 360 to your satisfaction. All that could of been worked out accordingly if only you didn't have that kind of demeanor you had that morning. I didn't know how to come at you, because of this demeanor you carried so graciously. "It was scary to fathom how you were feeling that morning niece!" I will say this, "How you treated me as a elder...you had no right to treat me like that otherwise, because...I am a elder...and you treat your elders with respect." 

R-E-S-P-E-C-T, you did not administer that thought. You just walked out the door in haste, and with that haste, you will reap the consequences and the repercussions of your actions. One day niece, you will know what that feel like to want love and you can't receive it. There was one thing I was told niece, and here is what I was told by someone that was also suppose to close to me when I had no one else to turn to but my self. "My daughter loves you very much!" 

Well here is my saying to the one that suppose to be close to me when I didn't have no one to turn to or to back me up when it comes to being decieved and betrayed. "If I was truly loved, everything I said in this post, would of never came to past." That's not love if a person ignores you when all you wanted to do was to talk to them and they keep walking away from you without listening to that word you had to say them; and what was so hurting, was that they tell you that say they didn't want a hug from you and that they didn't want to talk to you; and most of all...acted like they didn't want you to touch them and they walk straight out the door with that kind of haste is not love. That in itself is hate and it is total betrayal!  

Happiness Is Where The Heart Is

Book 164

2 Corinthians 13:11 - 11. Finally, brethren, farewell. Be perfect, be of good comfort, be of one mind, live in peace; and the GOD of love and peace shall be with you. 

Jude 1:2 - 2. Mercy unto you, and peace, and love, be multiplied. 


*Link to COVID19 is available in my post.

I'm getting ready to make my post be known by everyone who's viewing it. I find myself consistently walking on egg shells; and I'm listening to every crack those shells make as I walk into a depressive state in my life that I feel everyday. My niece gives me every reason to think this, because of the way she walks around the house, and not a word to me the whole time she's off her truck route. But...I decided to start ignoring those possibilities of being ignored by my niece, and move on with my life, until I find a place of my own with my son Zachary. I can't let my niece continue breaking my down to the point of being depressed all the time, and me, consistently walking on egg shells to her ignorance of me being the best aunt she could ever had, since I was the one who co-signed for her to go to trucking school.

I just got tired of being the cast off, and the ghost of the unknown, which would be the main reason why I'm writing this post. I want to move on from this, and not feeling sorry for myself, or someone else feeling sorry for me. I'm starting my day off with getting dressed, and ready for my day. I'm thinking about going over to my brother-in-law mother's house, because there is where I feel the happiest. No negatives allowed there!

I was glad of that! I'm a hop, skip, and a jump away of walking out the door to go and visit my brother-in-law, Lorenzo, my twin sister, Sherri, and my mother, Ruth, and the rest of the family. The journey over to my brother-in-law mother's house, took me through a time of happiness and joy for the first time in five months since my family and I moved in with my niece. About ten minutes later, I arrived at my brother-in-law's mother house with "polar pops" and snacks ready to start my day with my immediate family. Zachary and I were there not only for a family get together, we were there for a fish fry as well. I had to pitch in to by the fish for our fish fry.

My brother-in-law Lorenzo, my twin sister Sherri, my mother Ruth, my great niece Ta'Neisha, and my brother-in-law father Maxwell decided to go together to the fish market to buy fish. Our journey took at least thirty-minutes to forty minutes to reach our destination, depending on the traffic. As we arrived, we found a line outside of the fish market. With the COVID19 going on, for all of our safety, social distancing was the main priority to keep us all safely distant from one another. It was six persons at a time to enter into the fish market.

It took no more than fifteen minutes tops, for Lorenzo and I to enter into the fish market by escort. We had a very huge order; three pounds of tilapia, and five mullets pan fry and ready to go. I took about another twenty to twenty-five minutes for the prep guys inside to clean and prepare the fish. Lorenzo and I had to wait outside until the fish is cleaned and ready for me to pay and pick up the fish and four orders of imitation crab meat. After twenty-five minutes passed, Lorenzo and I entered the fish market by escort so that I can pay for and pick up our fish order. 

Afterwards...my family and I started our journey back to my brother-in-law's mother's house in time for our fish fry. It was the greatest time Zachary and I will ever have just spending time with immediate family, and having the grandest fish fry in the many months since we moved in with my niece. 

   

Understanding Zachary's World

Book 141

Job 4:6 - 6. Is not this thy fear, thy confidence, thy hope, and the uprightness of thy ways. 

        31:24 - 24. If I have made gold my hope, or have said to the fine gold, thou art my confidence.

Psalms 118:8 - 8. It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man. 

Isaiah 30:15 - 15. For thus saith the LORD GOD, the Holy One of Israel; in returning and rest shall ye be saved; in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength; and ye would not. 

Acts 28:31 - 31. Preaching the kingdom of GOD, and teaching those things which concern the LORD JESUS Christ, with all confidence, no man forbidding him.

2 Corinthians 7:16 - 16. I rejoice therefore that I have confidence in you in all things. 

Galatians 5:10 - 10. I have confidence in you through the LORD, that ye will be none otherwise minded: but he that troubleth you shall bear his judgment, whosoever he be. 

I have a hard time putting the pieces of Zachary's puzzle together sometimes. It's hard to imagine the magnitude of which piece goes with which! What I'm trying to say is, when it comes to finding those different pieces of Zachary's puzzle, because it has to be put together by its color code, And from those pieces of Zachary's puzzle, I began to think about the various stages of his internal emotions that he's been dealing with for a brief period of time. For Zachary...it's being accepted where ever he goes, and what ever he does to be acknowledged for who he is. I figure that one piece of Zachary's puzzle will always make a difference in finding the cause  that triggered his internal emotions about being accepted on his football team.

And when that cause, it has  become a factor of what I'm trying to seek about my son's internal emotions, and I pray to GOD...whatever it may be, the answer will become my mission to figure out its mystery that has been plaguing my son for quite sometime, and for him being accepted as a young man with Autism on his football team; and  then I will see all the pieces of Zachary's puzzle come together correctly by its color code. I've watched some of the head coaches (one in particular) on (JV) Zachary's Junior Varsity team, place his favorite team players in positions they want to be in. I find that every time Zachary wants a certain position (Defense End... which is his strength and more action) he doesn't receive where his strength makes a difference and  it will become a factor of Zachary's goals that will lead him towards winning championships for his team. But...he is consistently placed on the offensive side of the field, where he doesn't want to be, because of the limited action the offensive side of the field gives with the option to block in order to protect the quarterback. The coaches lack of concern for Zachary, it has caused quite a bit of concern for me and for Zachary to accept the fact that this one head coach will put him where he's doesn't want to be to keep him out of the way of his favorite team players.

I'm not going to tolerate Zachary being ignored of the benefits of being where he want to be to accomplish his goal and determination of taking down the quarterback. This was why I felt that there will be many games lost because of crooked coaches who only want to keep their favorites team players in the midst of the field to win games, instead of placing good players (like my son) who I feel will take his football team to championships. Zachary is that player with determination and strength to do what he need to do to bring his football team towards championships, if he's given a chance to prove himself worthy of the position he could have as defensive end. It seems that I'm taken back to the last team Zachary hardly played on where he no real chances to play in any of the games, because he was always on the sideline...even at his practice too.

I always felt his Autism had everything to do with why Zachary was extremely limited to the amount of games he could play in. That's why I changed team organization with the feeling that the grass was greener on the other side of the goal line. I'm not going through another organization (and it's an excellent organization with the Lakeland Eagles) of crooked coaches. I would love to see one coach in the midst of other coaches that will give a darn about every last one of his team players and not just a few that are their personal favorites. I'm not tolerating it! Not another year.

I'm going acknowledge my feelings to the coach who is in fact, part of my problem when it comes to Zachary. Now I'm starting to see all the pieces of Zachary's puzzle coming together by color code. All I got to do is acknowledge my feelings to the coach that was giving me a lot of problems when it came to the position Zachary wanted to play. That last piece of the puzzle...the only piece...would fit nicely with all the other surrounding color coded pieces of Zachary's puzzle. His puzzle will be officially complete, and his internal emotions will be reduced with confidence in himself to strive for the goal he wants to achieve, and that's going after the quarterback.

Joy To The World For The Love Of Family

Book 104 -

John 14:27 - Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you; not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

2 Thessalonians 3:16 - Now the LORD of peace himself give you peace always by all means. The LORD be with you all.


Romans 15:33 - 33. Now the GOD of peace will be with you all. Amen.

Christmas Eve is here and I'm enjoying family time with my immediate family. What a day to treasure a great memory. Sherri and I will be cooking a little later in the day. We found a little money to work with in getting Christmas gifts for at least the children of our immediate family. I'm really thankful for that.

Sherri had a small five minute video on her tablet she shared with our mother, me and herself. We looked at the video; Sherri's grandbaby Christmas caroling during a school play. Wow! What a treat just to observe the video. Sherri's grandbaby Justin was so cute dressed as one of the wise men during the birth of JESUS.

He didn't participate in much in the play; Justin stood mostly silent during the entire play, but..it was okay. Sherri and I enjoyed the caroling from the kids performing Christmas Carol's. After it was over, Justin was to receive his ornament off of the Christmas tree in the facility. What a joy it was just to be there at Justin's Christmas play. A wonderful memory to place into my time capsule.

Sherri's other grandbaby, Christian decided he wanted to go to the store and get a donut. I observed as he kept begging for one. I laughed at the expression he had on his face. Sherri gave into her grand baby and took him to the store for that donut. The memories of that moment we're piling up with warmth and beauty.

The excited expression on Christian's face was totally phenomenal. You could help but to look at him smile. I got to admit...when time like the ones I share with my family are a total blessing. I never feel left out of anything like I feel when I was with my extended family. Total loneliness when I was with my extended family will leave you invisible.

I'm just blessed to have my immediate family circle. I feel totally close to home when I'm with my family. Wow! What a wonderful feeling to have at every direction of life and not worry about if you're there or not. Joy, peace, and happiness was what Sherri, my mother Ruth, and I made it in one outstanding moment.

A memory in itself. No one else can compete with the love we have when it comes to enjoying time with my immediate family circle.

100th Milestone Post - Our Lives Is Like A Box Of Chocolates

Book 100 - A Milestone Post -

1 Peter 1:3 - 3. Blessed be the GOD and father of our LORD JESUS Christ, which according to his abundant mercy hath begotten us again unto a lively hope by the resurrection of JESUS Christ from the dead. 

Ecclesiastes 6:12 - 12. For who knoweth what is good for man in this life, all the days of his vain life which he spendeth as a shadow. For who can tell a man what shall be after him under the sun? 





*I'm pleased to announce my 100th milestone post to everyone who supported me by just viewing and acknowledging my posts with comments. Thanks again for your support everyone.


When life is like a box of chocolates you never ever know what you're going to get, no matter what, or how life goes. It's just a mystery we all need to figure out if only GOD and his son JESUS spare all of our lives. My twin sister and I have those moments when our thoughts get the best of us. There were so many thoughts of our past-times we can't seem to let go. It's just a number on our horizon that we haven't figured out according to our feelings when it comes to two members of our extend family.

One - Why do our ex aunts of our extended family seem to hate us so much that they had to steal from us? That's one instance! Two - What was it a purpose to steal, kill and destroy everything that belonged to my immediate family and myself? Three - Why greed was such a factor when it came to my FATHER'S estate? Four - Why was a Power of Attorney such a powerful weapon to use against my immediate family and I over the course of six months to gain control of my FATHER and his estate to keep us from having any say over anything about my FATHER?

The answer was simply obvious down to the buttered tooth of deceit, deception and indiscretion. "MONEY!" When money is used as the root of all evil, you know that all hell would break loose. My sister and I never thought our family would struggle so hard after our FATHER'S death. My ex aunts have no idea of our lives and what they both put my immediate family and I through when they decided to take over our FATHER'S life and over our family.

I think about the time when my ex aunts and their siblings had their struggles growing up. Yes...my FATHER told me and my siblings the story of when he had to stop going to school full time and get a part time job at a place called Sho-More Fertilizer to make ends meet for his immediate family. My FATHER'S...father (my grandfather) was a drunk and didn't really support his family like he should. My FATHER had to step in as the head of house...take care of his mother (my grandmother) and his three sisters and two brothers. I remember my FATHER telling me about the time they had to eat oranges for two weeks, nothing else.

The thought of my FATHER going to school part time to care for his immediate family and eating oranges for two weeks, brought back what I was feeling about my ex aunts and how they treated my immediate family for the last six months of my FATHER'S life. I asked myself, "How could they treat their brothers family like 'something' on the bottom of their shoes?" That question in itself was obvious to answer when the thought of it was so simple. "My ex aunts didn't give a hang about my FATHER, or his immediate family, or myself no matter the consequences; they didn't care so as long as they were banking on my FATHER'S life and disrespecting his family with no respect for him." Greed guided their lives when they had a truck backed all the way up to the door of my FATHER'S house two days after his burial and removing his possessions from his house.

That told me how much my ex aunts really cared for their brother...my FATHER. No one in their right mind would of did what they did over a live family. "My immediate family!" But...when it comes to GOD and his son JESUS vengeance, "Woe beyond to their evil deeds, because GOD and his son JESUS don't like ugly at all. I hate to be in their shoes when my pilots vengeance do them in.

All I can think about is when greed guides the lives of people of whom I thought loved us; it makes me sad to the fact of acknowledging what is and what's not when it comes to hate and disgust. I kind of suspected the attitudes of my ex aunts from the time they buried their mother...my grandmother. Nothing about them or anyone else in my extended family has ever been the same since. It's like being out of existence to everyone on that side in mind, body and soul...more like invisible. But...I know one day my immediate family and I will be first to see the many blessings that will come to us, and for my ex aunts, the repercussions will be the last thing they see for what's coming to them, and when it comes to their reaping time.

The Point In Being Right When You Don't Want To Be Wrong

Book 98 -

Exodus 14:14 - 14. The LORD shall fight for you, and you shall hold your peace.

I found myself thinking ahead of everything in my life. In one instance I saw myself more prouder than I ever been in my whole entire life. I finally come to terms with the fact that my FATHER'S gone. I know he's never coming back. I know that he's in a better place than this desolate place that we call earth.

I can live with myself knowing that I don't have to think twice about being an accomplice of what happened to my FATHER the last six months of his life, or selling myself as a martyr to everything that has happened during the last six months of my FATHER'S life until his death. I can say, "I'm totally out in the clear with no flaws, and with no indiscretions holding me back from a wonderful life. What more can I think of than to be just out right happy, glad, and great with pride and wisdom? Needless to say, "I'm full of joy and happiness and I'm moving on with life as I see fit to live for the first time in two years" Thank GOD and his son JESUS for my happiness.

I got to say this! I knew that my ex aunt had a party for my twin cousins tonight. I couldn't not attend, because I couldn't see myself there in the mist of people who down right don't give a hang about me or my immediate family if we would of came. Knowingly that when it comes around to us sitting a table alone with no one to communicate with us the entire time like we weren't there, I felt that using common sense would be the most logical thing to do. The logic was, "Don't come and be the black sheep that we've always been" under their wings. I didn't want to suffer that fate at any point necessary.

The more responsible thing to do was to stay home and enjoy my immediate family like always, even with our family dog Sheba. I like that in a heart beat! I know I'm right about how I feel and I know I'm not wrong about what I'm saying when it come to my extended family. This is what my immediate family feel about attending any events, parties, and get togetherness with extended family. I don't think we'll ever be family again.

My FATHER'S demise left a family so separated (thanks to my ex aunt who I still chose to keep anonymous) for breaking up both families. I have no will to ever put our families (extended and immediate) back together again. What's the point when you have an extended family who don't want to give the time of day? My immediate family and I will continue to move on without any hesitation...maybe go to Disney World to see Mickey and Minnie Mouse...have fun....what ever it takes to continue to be happy with life to the fullest.

Faults Of A Father To His Family

Book 96 -

James 5:16 - 16. Confess your faults one to another and pray one for another that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of righteous man availeth much.

1 Peter 2:20 - 20. For what Glory is it, if when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently. But if...when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently. This is acceptable with GOD




I found myself in deep thought of my FATHER'S faults against his family that lead to my extended family's silence against my immediate family. Its obvious to say this for a fact in the matter of my FATHER'S indiscretions. When he spoke against his immediate family about everything that goes on behind closed doors, you get a sense betrail in every direction you look, or every turn you make no matter what. I give a lot of fault to my FATHER of why my extended family don't give my immediate family and I the time of day...even though...most of them share some sort of respect for us generally. I guess when my parents in general had their ups and downs throughout their marriage, my FATHER had some sort of dislike (not hate) against my mother Ruth.

Not everyday my parents shared their day, or any brief encounters at all, just a word here and there and that's it. I do remember a time my FATHER told his brother-in-law Ron about the way my mother kept her house (things out of place and unclean) on a daily basis. I figured from that time when he told his brother-in-law that (which the brother-in-law might of relayed his response about my immediate and I to everyone else in my extended family) that my mother Ruth kept a dirty house was the reason why everyone in my extended family didn't eat from us when my FATHER'S had his restaurant. Don't get me wrong here about speaking ill my FATHER. This was a thought that came from my heart when I think of the negative side of my FATHER'S indiscretions.

His thoughts of his immediate family wasn't all peaches and cream; it was like oil and water. It was like a simple case of dislike in so many ways. It was hard to figure whether my FATHER had at least 99% of love for his immediate family, and then that 1% of dislike to make everything complete. It was hard in a whole lot of ways to figure him out for that matter. I know for a fact that my immediate family is totally without a doubt "ignored" completely from parties, events and get togetherness in every sense.

Nothing will help the fact that my FATHER spoke against his immediate family about certain things that didn't need to be said, especially when it came from behind close doors. This is why both of our families don't have anything in common when it comes to being on point with everything that is going on between our two families. This is why we don't talk period about anything all.  I truly believe this was why when my FATHER closed his eyes for eternity, it ended a relationship (even though my immediate family haven't had a relationship in over thirty years with our extended family) ended completely without thought, or hesitation. My immediate family and I can now deal with the fact that my extended family doesn't want anything else to do with us.

It proves a fact. That we (my immediate family and I) are not a part of their cup of tea when it comes to having and being more like "The Joneses" in every sense of value that are the most highest in regards for their way of life. My immediate family and I may not have the top of the world sitting on our shoulders, but we have each other at the end of the tunnel. And when we meet each on the other side of that tunnel, we do it with heart, love and understanding. That's why my immediate family and I can do without them in every way we can and have more fun together in a micro second doing it.

I find that everything I said in my post is based on fact, and my opinion. The one thing I don't do is sugarcoat the truth as I see fit to its facts. If it hurt those who read it, and have a sense of doubt of what is being said, all I can do is to express myself as I see fit, because..."It was the way it happened in every sense." I'm proud to be happy and be a part of my immediate family's circle of love. I will never give that up for anything but GODS and his son JESUS love for my immediate family.

Don't get me wrong here, because of my post. This was my deepest thoughts when it came to my FATHER'S negative indiscretions of his immediate family. I felt I needed to get it out of my system with every ounce of my feelings. I still love him anyway's no matter what, because he was in fact my FATHER. I still love him even though he's in his grave.

To end this post for sure, "My mother Ruth wasn't a true housekeeper (all perfect) in every sense, but...she did keep a clean house most part" just to let everyone know and that's a fact.

Our Own Family Circle Of Love

Book 77

1 John 4:1 - 1. Beloved, believe not every spirit, but the spirit whether they are of GOD: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.

Colossians 3:13 - 13. Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. 






I tried so hard to bring my family (extended family) back together for the sake of my FATHER. Thanks to Minnie Lou Wright, she ruined everything I tried to do to bring both of my families back together again. It's like a deep cut in my heart. She caused this fate, according to all my posts made here on Author Terri Celestine Brunson during the last six months of my FATHER'S life.  But...that's all over with, because now...I don't care to put my extended family back together again. Ever!

It may look, or sound mean in my post, but...I'm so tired of crying over spoil milk duds when it comes to bringing both my immediate and extended families back together. I'm tired of talking, assuring, planning and patching things up with a family who are not interested in doing things, or spending time with my immediate family in the light of day and in the mist of the night. Both families have been separated since my grandmother, Lou Bertha Brunson passed away in July 1991. I'm tired of talking and wasting my breath. I would like to move on with life within my inner family circle of love. I guess that's what counts for me now.

I thank GOD and his son JESUS for the family I do have. We have so much fun together when it's just us. What more can we (my immediate family) want in life now. My past with "most" of my extended family ended with my FATHER the morning he closed his eyes forever. Don't get me wrong here too! I love all of my family, even the ones who are my enemies now, but really love the ones who supported us my immediate family and I when we bereaved my FATHER. That's what count to me the most.

The holidays has come and gone. 2018 will be the beast for my immediate family. We are looking forward to the best of the best. All the cooking, enjoying each others company, looking at ball games are our priority. Most of all...GOD and his son JESUS will be at the head of everything we do. But...in the back of my mind, my FATHER will always be thought of during any occasion my immediate family and I bring forth during the up coming holiday in GOD and his son JESUS will. This was my second Christmas holiday without him. and he is  truly missed by his immediate family, no matter what.

Closing A Family Chapter With A Conscience

Book 59

Matthew 6:14 -15 - 14. For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:  15. But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. 

Psalms 41:7 - 7. All that hate me whisper together against me: against me do they devise my hurt.


2 Corinthians 1:4 - 4. Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of GOD. 

Mark 11:25 - 25. And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. 

Luke 6:27 - 27. But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you




My immediate family and I have decided to close the chapter of our lives with most of my father's extended family members. We still have a few we'd like to stay in contact with whenever we see them on the street, or in a store, or where ever that may be, my immediate family will never hold a grudge against those who supported us from day one before and after my father's death. Nevertheless...we will not continue to hold a grudge against those who hurt us throughout my father's illness and after his death. It's wrong and my immediate family have a conscience to do so. We will then let go what was once was, is then now, and will not remain a canker sore in our futures.

"For me personally...its better not to have anything to do with those who 'ultimately' hurt my father, my immediate family, and myself." I feel that I can more better heal the gash in my heart from the trauma of my father's death if I have no contact, or a reminder of bad memories.  My immediate family and I chose to forgive in the name of GOD and his son JESUS, but never forget the chaos, the havoc, the lies, the hurt, the indiscretions of those who choose to rushed my Father in his casket. There is nothing else either of us can do about anything but pray. My immediate family and I have given all our grief, hurt and the Hades we've been through to GOD and his son JESUS. "Vengeance is still in the hands of my pilots on those who caused us grief and pure Hades." We want touch what my pilots can do a better job than all of us can ever fathom.

My father is in the hands of GOD and his son JESUS. "In paradise!" I'm going to always be happy with knowing that. I know that its time to let go the past; live in the present, and walking into the future with a clear head and conscience. I'm so sorry this post was so short, but I need to heal and move on. Maybe...just maybe I can have a little peace.

Ignorance On Display

Book 51

*Just to let everyone know, this post was "provoked" intentionally by my cousin who just don't understand what was really done, or said to my family and I under the microscope. Sugarcoating was a huge part of deceit blinded by guilt. "The main source of this matter (not anonymous) is far from the truth and she needs to look no farther than her own home where the magnitude of deception rears it's deceitful head."


*My FATHER'S words: Bold and Italic 



Deuteronomy 28:7 - 7.  The LORD shall cause thine enemies that rise up against thee to be smitten before thy face: they shall come out against thee one way, and flee before thee seven ways. 

Psalms 37: 1 - 40 at its "Entire" Chapter



My immediate family and I had left well enough alone when I posted "Vengeance Is GOD, It's In His Hands" back on the 31st of January of this year. I remember it was Book 37. We left all of our frustrations, despair and grief from my father's demise in the hands of GOD and his son JESUS. Then all of a sudden...14 books later, Lucifer's imp (Angel) starts up again with a tweet from Twitter that provoked this post to come as I see fitting the character of ones ignorance without an ounce of sugarcoating my raft. This is the tweet in question:

When they never brought their daddy a present for father's day, but now that he's in Heaven they want to buy something. Watch my smile pic.twitter.com/qumsHT471z

— Lousondra Wright (@LousondraWright) April 20, 2017

 A woman so beautiful and velvety looks absolutely beautiful on the outside, but what's on the inside? I see a display of ignorance and a human heart donor without an ounce of remorse for my family, or for myself. "Losing a parent is no joke!" She thinks my family and I didn't love my FATHER and that we never gave him a present for Father's Day. "Who told her that we didn't give my Father a present for Father's Day?

"Remember what was said at the beginning of my post posted in RED." Why was it so hard for her to understand the possible outcome of being on the outside looking in when the real truth was sugarcoated by deception from the guilt of ones loins? What the heck did she know if she wasn't there to see my family and I give my Father gifts, cards and dinner invites.

Father's Day is coming up in June. She has the luxury of a FATHER on Father's Day. She get to see her father everyday of her life. My family and I don't have that luxury. My family and I will be spending our first Father's Day without my FATHER in our mist. One day she will 'clearly' understand how it feel not to have one, or both of her parents. It's been hard brick road every single day to try and put all the pieces of the puzzle back together again.

It's not easy holding back tears every single day. Yes...we might of not been there all the time for my FATHER, but...we loved him then and we still love him now...even in the grave. I need to display the real truth of the matter when it comes to my FATHER. GOD and his son JESUS bless his soul and may he rest in peace. But this must be said so that I can be completely understood when it comes to my family and I when we lived without my FATHER in our home for over 30+ years.

My mother Ruth, my twin sister Sherri, and my brother Wesley Jr. before he met his beautiful wife Neyome and married her back on August 29th 2015 in a half American and Sri Lankan wedding.  We went through a lot of Hades knowing that my father was out traveling with other women and families around the globe...never giving my MOTHER the time of day to enjoy life after their children were grown and out of the nest. It was suppose to be their time to stretch their wings together and fly around the world. So...my mother, my twin sister and brother let him go...so that he can do what he wanted with those other women and their families.
 "It was like...giving my father the opportunity to go and do as he please...like getting all what was in his system out when he was out in the world of despair."

My family and I did not interfere anymore after that. The only thing that didn't stop was our love for him unconditionally. We let my father go until he couldn't go anymore. Then the women left him after he was all dried out physically, emotionally and financially before becoming disabled and wasn't of any use to the women and their families anymore, before buying himself a campaign...which was his dog Sheba. After my father was down and out, we came; we saw; we washed and fed; I held father in my arms like a baby and gave him back rubs and we gave our lives to take care of him, love him unconditionally when he was ill until his death.

Yes...we did know about 'some' of his fiances when receipts and word of mouth were displayed to his immediate family unconditionally. I felt he was going into his retirement to fund his luxurious lifestyle with those women and their families and the Mercedes he bought back in the 90's. Believe me...my research and homework was done years ago. What I knew then and back when and now was reality. I would like for my beautiful and velvety cousin to understand stand me fully when I say this, "Know what really happen before you display your opinion on social media."

Believe me...I knew about my father's way of life when he was out in the world for 30+ years before he got his soul saved again by GOD and his son JESUS. Sweetie...you don't know what happened and you never will know baby if you're on the outside looking in and don't know the flavor of our kool-aid.
You had your father around everyday of your life. Please my love...enjoy him while he still living! There is a lot I regret and admit...so I don't sugarcoat my feelings, or hide behind a mask.

I display and quietly shout out my feelings in my writing, so I could completely be understood without throwing a punch with my fists. "I'm a lady first!" So as I said in Book 37 of my blogs posts, "Vengeance is GOD's, It's In His Hands", so I'm done! My family is done! We want no more part of ones indiscretions, or a family who don't realize that their reaping day is coming and it's coming with a vengeance for every single thing that happened almost a year ago this coming June.

We got to live with it! Now let us live in peace, because we want no part of the innuendos, indiscretions, the tearing each other down, or faces of deceit. My family and I are completely done emotionally, mentally, and physically! Before I close this post...let me give you a little bonus. My father's last words 2 days before he died with witnesses in the room (better known as his immediate family) to me as I stood over him. He looked me directly in the eyes when he said with his shallow voice, "Get Minnie away from me; I didn't want to come home from the hospital!" And before I knew it, he went on to say to me as he stared me with a straight face with his eyes partially closed, "She's killing me!"  Now everyone know my raft and why everything is what it is when it comes to my FATHER and my family and through my posts.

My dear cousin...know the facts before you display on social media. I research before I display on social media. I just want you know this, "I will never forget what my FATHER said that (I never told anyone until this day) out of my head for as long as I live." That word of mouth coming from my FATHER from his own mouth and with enough oxygen going through his nose into his body will be instilled in my head for all infinity. What my family and I did for and with my father when he was alive was always under the microscope to everyone.

"You wasn't there to know what was done, said, or planned with my father!" So understand me fully when I say this my beautiful velvety China doll, "The damage is done and it can't be corrected." The Patriarch of both families (the remaining siblings and my immediate family) is gone for infinity. All my family and I want do is move on with our lives. We've had enough! Enough!

Leave it alone, because I did with your family. So please my beautiful velvety cousin, "Enjoy your "living" father for Father's Day and everyday after that for as long as he live and leave my deceased father (who my immediate and family and I will never see again) who is in his grave that my family and I will never touch again, laugh with again, or joke around with him again when he was living when he was still communicating with his immediate family until almost the end of his life and missing the awesome taste and smell of his barbecue again alone." Let us all move on with life! My family and I don't have strength for any of this nonsense ever again. DITTO!

So...Lousondra (Angel) Wright...you keep laughing at me and my family on our grief and about Father's Day without my deceased FATHER. With this post, 'You're feeling my raft with a vengeance!" You will definitely feel the raft, the grief, the hurt and the lies that were over shadowed by the source that started it all with my family almost a year ago one day in your life. I would of never did you, or to your family in that way, ever!  Please...my dear, read Psalms 37: 1 - 40 at it entirety. -- Know my dear...where your boasting, smiling and maybe laughing on my family's grief and what was done, or should of been done, has been done, your reaping for your 'big beautiful smile' is "noted"in GOD's and his son JESUS eyes for what you and yours did to my FATHER ultimately, to my family and to myself on our hurt; this is my teaching to you..older woman to young woman.

So...keep smiling dear, "Smile big!", because it will be wipe off your face when life challenges you and is done with you in the long run when its not funny any more. Never boast, or smile wide on someone's hurt, or what should of been done, or grief. "It's a dangerous thing to do!" Welcome to the consequences and the repercussions of your actions that you will be experiencing when vengeance is GOD's.

Feeling Lonely: Looking On The Positive Side Of The Horizon

Book 40 - Life In Reality For My Twin Sister And Myself

Galatians 2:20 - 20. I am crucified with Christ; nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me; and the life which I live in the flesh I live by faith of the son of GOD, who loved me and gave himself for me. 

First of all, I would like to thank GOD and his son JESUS for another day here on earth. I would like to thank my pilots for life health and strength and bringing my family and I through one of the roughest patches during the past eight months since my father's illness until the time of his death. Wow! As I said time and time again; what it feels like for me living life without my mortal rock here on earth. It's hard to say good bye to what once was and what it is now.

I think of my dad every single day. It's hard not to. But...I know life must go on regardless.  I can live in the world of the deceased. I must start living again; as so my twin sister, Sherri. To know that our father is in a better place, living, rejoicing, smiling without any pains in his body, and not in the grasp of his sister who took power of attorney over his life. That makes me feel awesomely good!  Still...not being able to be within my father's presence will always be with me and my sister for infinity.

I guess that why this emptiness my sister and I feel and carry within our hearts, minds, and souls.  A lonely feeling our mother doesn't recognize, or see any of the signs we show her that we rely and long for her attention, even at our age as her grown children. "It's not easy for either of us to live still in grief for our father after two months four days to this date to be ignored by our own mother when we need her the most." At least that's the way we feel at this present moment. The silence is killing us!

All my sister and I can do is pray every single day without cease. There is something I need to say before I close this post. My sister-in-law Neyome; we love her with all of our hearts, but she may be taking what we've been longing for from our mother. That's okay! My sister and I are not going to narcissistic imbalance, or fret about what our sister-in-law need because her mother is ten thousand miles away in Sri-Lanka.

So it's understandable about all the attention she's getting from our mother. "She needs to feel wanted and loved, because she's lonely and longing for mother too." So I will keep praying for my sister and I to continue to cope with our father's death. Talk with our mother about our real feelings, hoping she'll recognize and see the signs of wanting and needing some sort of comfort and the attention from a mother who really loves her children; her twin daughters. Maybe I want take that ride after all on the edge of the horizon.

My sister and I just want to feel wanted and loved, that's all. Our father's death was extremely hard on us. May GOD and his son JESUS give my sister and I all the strength and the comfort we need to live without tears everyday.  It will get easier, in the name of our pilots.

Family Silenced

Book 39

Genesis 28:14 - 14. And thy seed shall be as the dust of the earth, and thou shalt spread abroad to the west, and to the east, and to the north, and to the south; and in thee and in thy seed shall all the families of the earth be blessed.



It's been one of those day's. For me...it's consistently going through one of my rough patches. Not a day go by I don't think of my father and everything that has happened from the time during his illness and the time of his death and afterward. My father's death was extremely rough on my twin sister and myself especially, so we continue to pray to GOD and his son JESUS for a good day for the both of us. Still...everything as not as seen! I'm beginning to feel some seclusion from a couple of my immediate family members as well. I asked my self several times, "What is going in with this?

I don't want to experience anything negative from my own immediate family members. I got that in a man-fold with a few of my ex. extended family members. I don't think family from that past time can be mended. Too much damage was done that resulted in my father's death. Something has got to give with this thing that is called, "Family Separation", because it makes no since to me to continue to be separated as a family who suppose to love one another.

Through out my life and the lives of my twin sister and brother, we've experienced so much of separation between extended family and our immediate family, I can't begin to put into words, or even find all the words to place into a perfect sentence. Where is the love, the closeness...the understanding? Another question keeps burning like coals on a fire. I can't help but to keep bringing up day after day since my father's death. What's happening with my immediate family?

What's the silence all about? Sometimes I want to get in my car...my son and I...I just want to ride on the edge of the horizon and into the sunset without looking back. I loved my life better that way without interference from anyone that made me unhappy. I don't consider myself running from a cause, it's just I feel so alone without the one person who made a difference in my life (my father) and now he's in the grave silenced forever. I don't think I'll fully get over that!

Everyday will be a better day I hope and I'm praying for that.

The Truth: A Thin Line Between Love And Hate

Book 36 - The Real Truth

Psalms 25:8 - 22 - 8. Good and upright is the LORD; therefore will he teach sinners in the way.  9. The meek will he guide in judgement; and the meek will he teach his way.  10. All the paths of the LORD are mercy and truth unto such as keep his covenant and his testimonies.  11. For thy name sake, O LORD, pardon mine iniquity; for it is great. 12. What is he that feareth the LORD? Him shall he teach in the way he shall choose.  13. His soul shall dwell at ease; and his seed shall inherit the earth.  14. The secret of the LORD is with them that fear him; and he will shew them his covenant. 15. Mine eyes are ever toward the LORD; for he shall pluck my feet out of the net.  16. Turn thee unto me, and have mercy upon me; for I am desolate and afflicted.  17. The troubles of my heart are enlarged: O bring thou me out of my distresses.  18.Look upon mine affliction and my pain; and forgive all my sins.  19. Consider mine enemies; for they are many; and they hate me with cruel hatred.  20. O keep my soul, and deliver me; let me not be ashamed; for I put my trust in thee. 21. Let integrity and uprightness preserve me; for I wait on thee.  22. Redeem Israel, O GOD, out of all his troubles. 

First of all...I would like to give thanks to GOD and his son JESUS for bringing me and my family and I through the roughest of rough patches. Second of all...what I'm about to post, will sum up the truth of the matter in redemption for my father's sake for what was, that should of been and what it is now and foremost at this present moment in time. At the start of the line, I call using common sense...was what should of been said in the beginning before interfering into a personal situation (dealing with the immediate family) which was clearly not valid. Stealing a "live" family's position to give unconditional love, health care and comfort for the one who said, "I really wanted to be in the presents of my immediate family."  was clearly taken out of context. 

It was said to my recollection that a question was asked of them to administer health care for them. For that stand point...what was suppose to be said...when that question was supposedly asked.  The answer, "I would love to provide health care for you, but you have your own family who would be more than happy to take care of your every need, because I don't want to interfere in between, or get ahead of you own family's responsibility to provide you the love, health care and comfort that you really need", "I'll always be there in the mist whenever you need me", "It will be no problem to remain immobile until and when I'm needed." was what should of been took into consideration; it wouldn't of never been what it is now in this present time. Stretching a already thin line with the threads starting to break, drew a lot of family separation, hard feelings, lost of confidence, havoc and chaos, security and some love lost that everyone who are affected are receiving. The fact is...there is no real hate...just sheer disappointment of actions shown aggressively is what it is now, can't never be mended again. 

A life has expired from this madness. I don't want what's already come to pass ever again. There aren't enough line to keep pressing on what should of stretched without breaking with common sense throughout its threads. That part of my life ended for infinity with the most important person in my life. That line is infinity broken. No more stretching the thinnest line between love and hate, because there is no more love far that I can see from anyone that walked that thinnest line before hate could ever show and rear its ugly face. 

That's a fact! It's now made clear to me what family can do whatever they want their way, or it's the highway no matter who they hurt in the process. My family and I was lied to about rekindling an already a broken family. "I don't care to honor that request of rekindling again!" It died when the season was suppose to be a happy and surrounded by family.

Name's are kept anonymous in my posts

Blind Fate

Book 35

Blind Fate Logo    Copyright 2017   All Right Reserved.  

2 Corinthians 4:4 - 18 - 4. In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of  them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of GOD, should shine unto them.  5. For we preach not ourselves, but Christ JESUS the LORD; and ourselves your servants for JESUS sake.  6. For GOD, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of GOD in the face of JESUS Christ.  7. But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of GOD, and not of us. 8. We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;  9. Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed.  10. Always bearing about in the dying of the LORD JESUS that the life also of JESUS might be made manifest in out body.  11. For we which live are alway delivered unto death for JESUS sake  that the life also of JESUS might be made manifest of our mortal flesh.  12. So then death worketh in us but life in you.  13. We having the same spirit of faith, according as it is written, I believe and therefore have I spoken; we also believe, and therefore we speak.  14. Knowing that he which raised up the LORD JESUS shall raised up us also by JESUS, shall present us with you.  15. For all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of GOD.  16. For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. 17. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.  18. While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the thing which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.







What is the meaning of blind fate? For me...in my reflection...by urban standard, is to put everything into something a person thinks they have (which is power) except knowing the fact that there is possibility that it may not exist, or come true, or if it had any real meaning to it. Here's the catch! Always finding a reason to continue with the power over everyone and everything, one never really had in the beginning was already null and voided. What's not to understand about that? Putting all the time and the focus on that acclaimed power, when it is known that they already have the source, the room for everyone and every thing in their lives (family, love, money, material things) makes it seems very unfounded to continuously interfere in the lives of people who don't want them there anymore, or to keep interfering in something that was none of their business from the beginning...never leaving well enough alone.  I find it hard to believe that this fate still presents its magnitude of deception, It was determined their fate to find more ways than one to make life miserable for those who done nothing to deserve the unknown. I find it very applauding!

Surprisingly...fate of deception was planned, delivered, and never ceased until this day.  It still amazes me! That's why ignore its challenge against my family and against me. Their fate still revolves around greed, money, theft and hurting the ones I love. Its a desolate farce to continue this drama on and on and on.

Fate is how, what and who they put into their equation with the act of deceiving ones character, when its their own dome. The outcome of it, will return with a vengeance.  Ex. Reaping and sowing. This is an example of how much time a person can have on their hands, consistently producing one deceit after another deceit to get their point across from a distance. Without preparation, experience, or knowledge to understand the consequences and the repercussions of their actions, will not be biased on reason...and then lacking to reason to continue this desolate farce, and the purpose of why it happened in the first place.

"It didn't have to be!" Ever! Sightless to fathom the outcome of ones fate, is their reality. It over whelms their mind with guilt of past indiscretions. What's to do when a mind is guilty of indiscretion?  It continues its fate to deceive...scheming and planning a scandal after scandal after scandal. I find it a terrible thing to consistently waste time, making as many lives as miserable as possible.

My family and I fate is not to have any more time for ones deceit; or ones surprises. Our fate is not blinded, or wear its Vail. Our fate is believing that everything is possible when we totally believe, have faith and trust that GOD and his son JESUS is always good all the time.  They can only bring security with comfort, understanding and knowledge. They can bring my family and I through our trials and tribulations, no matter how much ones fate of their deception keep nit picking at us.  We will continue to ignore unconditionally ignorance and move on from the tragedy and the deception that in gulped our mortal beings...heal from it...turn the other cheek and move on.

That's all there is to this. It's over! Kaput. Done with!  GOD and his son JESUS will continue to be the head of my family's life, health and the strength to keep moving on from spasms, dramatic mayhem and constant nit picking. My communication is through my words. I find wisdom in the truth being told for those who are blinded by their fate. What's presented is the reality of it.

A Thief Around Two Clocks

Book 33 - Important Message - Our Modern Day Lucifer Working Around Two Clocks

Photo Thief 24 & 7   Copyright 2017   All Rights Reserved.

Romans 12:12 - 21 - Christian Behavior - 12. Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer.  13. Distributing to the necessity of saints; given to hospitality.  14. Bless them which persecute you; bless and curse not.  15. Rejoice with them that do rejoice and weep with them that weep.  16. Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things , but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits.  17. Recompose to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.  18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.  19. Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath; for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the LORD.  20. Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him a drink; for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.  21. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.






Wow! What web she weave working consistently in her cauldron by day and night and then coming off as a common thief around two tiring clocks? No kind of remorse, no feeling, no respect for anyone of mortal mankind. "A human heart donor!" Ignorance continues to guide her life with a vengeance.

Blinded by evil in the worse possible way. Where is common sense in the equation? Was it not with understanding the fact that a ruined reputation is an extremely terrible thing to waste time on consistently destroying everything and everyone on a domed path that consists of underhanded destruction from the one who clearly doesn't understand fully the consequences and the repercussions of her evil actions? I don't think the picture was clear to her that the more she continues this sneaking around, drawing up all kinds of schemes in order to continue to hurt those I love with her guilty consciousness; her vendetta to bring intentional suffering for and against my family and I and then Trying to steal our hearts, minds, souls and "things" from us unconditionally will get her no where. Reaping and sowing will be certain, that will be for sure. Incarceration is another possibility, or maybe under a slab somewhere...if the process continues.

"But not for, or by family and my hands to intervene this fate." This will be her fate alone as a possible outcome.  My family and I didn't ask for any of this farce, nor to be a subject of some one's greed, hate, or indiscretion. All of my family and I ever wanted to do was to partake in the care of my father and to have full knowledge of what was being done otherwise when it came to my father's heath physically, mentally, emotionally even though.  The social part of my father's situation was unconditionally kept from my family and myself, thanks to someone with a vendetta to continue to find any means necessary to keep hurting my family and myself because of greed and deception.

The facts is part of someones indiscretion. Reaping and sowing the consequences and the repercussions will find it's season for the culprit, or culprits who were thieves by night and day acting and displaying the seriousness of their guilt and indiscretions. May GOD and his son JESUS keep us (Family and I) from any more surprises that will cause me to act with negativity. I don't want or like to act negatively, because I don't have time for it. Foremost..the positive aspects of a situation with GOD and his son JESUS in charge are welcomed any time and will keep me on the right path of righteousness and turning the other cheek consistently.

Infinity - Our Invisible Family Tree

Book 22

Acts: 3:25 - You are sons of the prophets and of the covenant which GOD made with our fathers saying to Abraham, "And in your seed all the families of the earth shall be blessed."



Caution: The content of my post speaks a tone of volumes about my feelings towards some of my extended family members.  I'm still trying to basically understand where (My mother, my twin sister, my brother and his wife Neyome and even Zachary) went wrong.  I think I know some of the answers...then again...I'm just guessing nonetheless. What I'm trying to figure, is the whole concept of some of my extended family's actions towards my mother, twin sister, my brother and his wife, my son and I before and since my father's death nearly a month ago.  "Where in the 'SAM Hades' did this unwanted attitude, dramatic mayhem, spasms, havoc and chaos come from?"  Maybe...and  I say...just maybe I will have an answer once I'm done writing. Then again...maybe I want!  For everyone visiting...If I seem to complain about what I'm disclosing to everyone worldwide in my post...please don't judge me!  My mother Ruth, my twin sister Sherri, my brother Wesley and his wife Neyome, even my son Zachary and I went through a lot, especially my siblings and I most of our lives.  How we felt growing up in a family who seem to forget what was important to us in our lives growing up was, "The essence of a Family!"  I for one and my immediate family chose to give up on some of our extended family members when my dad's eyes closed for infinity.

Wesley Brunson Jr. &  RIP Wesley Brunson Sr.
Copyright 2016   All Rights Reserved.

What more can I say about some of my extended family who seemed to have forgotten where they started in life before they had any value in life, "Their roots!"  I find it very sad that ignorance, extreme dramatic mayhem, spasms, havoc and chaos has gotten the best of some of my extended family. For my twin sister Sherri, my brother Wesley Jr. and his wife Neyome, my mother Ruth, my son Zachary and I...the members of that extended family has been "out" rated.  I felt my immediate family and I have been lied to for many years when it comes to having a real family to gather around, go to events, spend quality time and all the holidays with. "I don't understand the real concept of what went wrong with some of my extended family before and after my dad's death," There was a moment in my life when I remember going out to my grandmother Bertha's grave site.  I had a deep feeling come over me all the while I stood there over her grave. I said during that brief moment, "My grandmother Bertha was not rested and I thought, "My father and my aunt Celestine is not rested!" My first thought was that my father, grandmother and aunt will never rest in their graves until some of my extended family members settle their ignorant past without redemption towards healing all wounds between both extended and my immediate family instead of being thrown on the other side of the horizon and forgotten to a certain extent of non existence.  I know I don't have the time or the patience to try and keep up with people I don't really know that much about anymore and are willing to forget about, since the Patriarch (Dad) is now deceased.  I know for a fact that the people I knew as some of my extended family members are sparing no expense acting as they are truly the Joneses.  They are truly doing a incredible job at it too, if you ask me!  The one thing in my protocol I'm not considering is that when it comes to my immediate family, there is nothing to be jealous about in a sense when it comes to some of my extended family who are still ignorant to the fact of pushing away other extended family members and my immediate family who only wanted more than to bond as a "whole" family once again...is now no more infinity.  "What was so bad about wanting to build on a brittle and broken family tree?"  There was a memory I will never forget (that still hurts me until this day) before I close this post.  I remember some time ago I did a (Go Fund Me) project for my autistic son Zachary,  I really needed the help with expenses for my sons "Neuro" therapy.  Each session of Zach's therapy would of cost me (and that's one of the best Neuro doctors in the City of Lakeland at the time of residence) $650.00 each session, including insurance already paid.  I wanted my son Zachary to receive therapy before his problems and my problems with dealing with autism got worse.  So...I decided to advertise my sons Go Fund Me project on Facebook, Twitter, and other social media sites.  "I thank GOD for receiving just $30.00 within a 5 month period I had my sons Go Fund Me project up and running (before I decided it was no more use to keep it alive and running) So...I decided to remove my sons Go Fund Me project from all social media sites.  I thank GOD and his son JESUS for my aunt Johanna and a woman from Texas for donating to my son Zachary Go Fund Me project.  I even donated myself.  No one else, not even from my extended family on "either side" donated to my sons Go Fund Me project.  "It was sad to think that no one seemed to care about my son, especially from family."  My son Zachary's problem with his Autism has gotten worse all the way around and I still can't afford to pay for his neuro therapy.  "I know GOD and his son JESUS got something in store for my son Zachary.  He will to finally receive Neuro therapy he so desperately need in so that he will be able to live a normal life. I'm very patient.  I know GOD will provide for Zachary.  From that point, I decided that enough is enough with at least some of my extended family.  I thought, "Why continue wasting time on a some of  my extended family members who forgot where they came before they had anything in valuable in life; who took my immediate family through Hades and back and Hades again and again for the past six months during and after my father's death?"  I'm done completely!  I'm focusing on my immediate family, even if it's without the patriarch of our family,  "That is all that matters to me now!"  I would not change it for the world. Even though, I'm still trying to come to reality that dad is gone from this earth.  There is so much more I want to say about my immediate and some of my extended family's broken family tree, but I still don't have all the answers completely to continue this post.  "So I was right!"  "I still don't have all the answers I need to determine why everything went so wrong with both family's,  All I can think of and totally see so far in this matter is "greed" and more greed.  That's all there is to the matter of this brittle and broken family tree.  There are no more concepts!  I think I'll give this entire issue to GOD and his son JESUS almighty." My immediate family and I are so tired of the concept of being tired of being sick and tired of everything that has escalated during the past six months before and after my dads's death.  We just want to move on with life from the ignorance, dramatic mayhem, spasms, havoc and the chaos.  I think what is best to say is that my immediate family and I are going to start building on for (ourselves including the extended family members who has supported my immediate family from day one) our bruised, no name, broken family tree...restoring its brittle broken branches and its yellow leaves back to it's full blossom and glory without the extended family members who has brought us tears, pain, redemption, scandalous mayhem, heartbreak and my dad's death earlier than he had to leave (even though it was GOD and his son JESUS will to take dad even though the concept) sense day one. You know...I'm glad my dad isn't suffering on this earth anymore. He's gone through a whole lot...more than anyone know.  I thought...why shouldn't dad rest now? That is what counts in my heart.  RIP daddy...you deserve it!  Your immediate family is now building on that family tree we wish you could always be a part of infinity.

"Our Family is asking everyone for prayer (whomever see this post) worldwide.  We will appreciate everyone and we will acknowledge everyone prayers to the family in heart, mind, body and soul."