When You Know You're Talked About

 Book 197

Acts 26:31 - 31. And when they were gone aside, they talked between themselves, saying, This man doeth nothing worthy of death, or of bonds.

Mark 3:5 -  5. And when he looked round about them with anger, being grieved for the hardness of their hearts, he saith unto the man, Stretch forth thine hand. And he stretched it out: and his hand was restored whole as the other.

Romans 10:3 - 3. For they being ignorant pf GOD's righteousness, and going about to establish their own righteousness., have not submitted themselves unto the righteousness of  GOD.

Romans 3:23 - 23. For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of GOD.

No one can put nothing pass me If I know I'm being talked about. I am there in my head! But...you know what, "Sticks and stones, might break my bones, but...names will never hurt me in a flash." And...I do mean that from the heart. I do know that there is "one culprit" who's fueling it all to get everyone against me. I wasn't born yesterday, or the day after that. I am passed it with the abundance of common sense, and no one will take that away from me.

I gained that common sense from GOD and his son JESUS to know, and to see between every line that is shared and posted about me on social sites. "I'm not stupid by a long shot!" I know what I see without hearing about it word of mouth, and I am also tired of my M O T H E R S name used as a cop-out from their indiscretions. I am done with the people who are being stupid about things that don't make no sense when I'm not doing anything to them. Their indiscretions will send them to "Hell" if they don't stop doing what their doing. And...to say this, "The one culprit who is fueling the indiscretion, will send their offspring to Hell as well, if they don't stop using what was told to them against me."

This is why I let God and his son JESUS have it, because...I don't have time for nonsense, and people like the culprit, and the offspring to bring me down, and using my M O T H E R...once again as a cop-out. But let me tell about the offspring. The offspring acts as though it hurts to say, "Hello, or talk to about anything they want to talk to me about it." That's not right! To the culprit who is fueling these indiscretions to the offspring, "Woe beyond to them with a passion, if they're feeding the offspring indiscretions that makes no sense to place on their table, because...it's not only hurting them, but...it's hurting the offspring in this fiasco that will send both of them to Hell."

This is why I am telling it straight from my heart, because...I am tired of the offspring treating me like I am poison, and I am not there in presents in their eyes. I am tired of being ignored in the heart of the offspring. "I am also tired of the eye rolls too!" I am tired of the culprit using my M O T H E R as a cop-out for every sentence from their mouth every time I look around. 

Not Living In Persecution

 Book 195

Exodus 20:2-17 2. I am the LORD thy GOD, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. 3. Thou shalt have no other gods before me. 4. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. 5. Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy GOD am a jealous GOD, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; 6. And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments. 7. Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy GOD in vein; for the LORD will not hold the guiltless that taketh his name in vain. 8. Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. 9. Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work: 10. But the seventh day is the sabbath of the lord god: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates: 11. For in six days the LORD made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and the rested seventh day: where for the LORD bless the sabbath day, and hallowed it. 12. Honour thy Father and thy Mother: that thy days be long upon the earth which the LORD thy GOD giveth thee. 13. Thou shalt not kill. 14. Thou shalt not commit adultery. 15. Thou shalt not steal. 16. Thou shalt not bear false witness against they neighbor. 17. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox l, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbor's.

Sometimes I feel like everyone is against me for no reason, nor did I give them a reason to be so judgemental against me. Even though my siblings, nephews, and especially my niece are on the outside; and trying to look inside my thoughts, and they have no clue about what's going on with me, or how I feel about things, or know the flavor of my Kool Aid. My issue run deeper than an open wound, and it seems like everyone loves to pick at it like the center of a nucleus. I am not trying judge anyone in my family, but it's the way I feel sometimes when I feel everyone trying to nit pick an argument up for no reason, and I haven't cause any haste, nor done anything to no one,  and I am truly convinced. Anytime I feel the way I feel when I think my family trying to get me frustrated, especially my sister Sherri, only to start a argument with me, I start to pray. 

And then...I think of my M O T H E R when these provocative occurrences of anger my family is trying to inflict on me for no reason what so ever. I remember times when I did my M O T H E R wrong out of haste. I wasn't a perfect child to her, and I don't bite my tongue when I tell the truth about it.  No one is perfect in their sense of character. I did apologize to my M O T H E R the day she went to glory. 

But...I'm still reaping the consequences and the repercussions for my indiscretions and actions against my M O T H E R. Then I think of the book of Exodus 20:12, "Honour thy Father and thy Mother: that thy days may be long upon the earth which the LORD thy GOD giveth thee." The bible is fulfilling itself at its entirety. I know what I had to go through, and pray about, before I could receive fully salvation, and be forgiven for my sins, and my sins against my M O T H E R. Back to my family! All I ever wanted from my family, was to fit somewhere in the equation, and like a missing piece of a puzzle.

If I did anything wrong to anyone, I would to tell my family: I am truly sorry in the name of JESUS, my LORD. My pilots know I do not want any more haste with my family, nor with anyone else. I made my peace with my M O T H E R before she went to glory, and I know she forgave me a long time ago. I just want to live holy; laugh with my family every chance I get, and love my family for every second of every minute I live on this earth. "That's my destiny in a way life that we all should be living in the mist of GOD and his son JESUS."

Memories And A GODSEND To Our Family

 Book 195

John 8:42 - 42. JESUS said unto them, if GOD were your father, ye would love me; for I proceeded forth and came from GOD; neither came I of myself, but he sent me. 

My family and I find ourselves thinking of our parents a lot more than we want to. The reason why I said it the way I did, is because it's been hard on all of us in a sense of grieving. Our parents are still fresh in our minds, no matter what. What it is to do with these memories? That's hard to answer right now as I post. 

Our M O T H E R is the hardest one to forget, because she was such a beautiful and sweet woman. She always gave all of us her signature smile, no matter what she's been through in her life. That smile shines brighter than a LED light. My brother seems to have it the hardest, because I believe when he watch our M O T H E R get buried, he never got over see it happen. I wished he wouldn't have saw that happen. He is experiencing a hard time right now as I post. 

My twin sister on the other hand; she don't want me to mention our M O T H E R until she does, because...she seems to have days where she is thinking of our M O T H E R constantly without a break. She get headaches every time our M O T H E R is mentioned, and that can cause her to have seizures at any moment. Sherri wants to be the one that mentions our M O T H E R when she feels the notion to do so. I have my days when I just start crying when I have a memory of my M O T H E R out of the blue come upon me. It's so hard on me some times I cry out of control. 

I have problems with my blood pressure shooting up every time I have an episode. I also find that my niece and nephews have that time in their lives where my M O T H E R (their grandmother) come across their minds. They cry out of control! Even the littlest of people in my family have their days too. No matter how young a person is, my M O T H E R had a greater affect on them. 

She left her mark with us, and it would be with us for the rest of our natural lives. Sherri and I would work in our vegetable and herb garden, and all we think about is our parents. We talk to them when we go out and work in our garden, our F A T H E R mostly, because he is part of the reason why we can grow a lot of things. Our F A T H E R farmed in his days, and he did quite well with it. "It was his passion, as it is for us." 

Sherri and I talk mostly to him when we are gardening. Our sister in law Neyome, she helps keep all of sane. She is a total GODSEND by GOD and his son JESUS Christ. Neyome is a beautiful soul indeed. Our family in Canada my M O T H E R also had quite an affect on them when she traveled there during the winter season. 

Parents have an amazing affect on everyone lives when they are no longer a part of the equation. If anyone has experienced otherwise, you would know especially how we feel as a family. 

Once Twice The Indiscretions

 Book 194 

Romans 5:9 - 11 - 9. Much more them being justified by his blood we shall be saved from draft through him. 10. For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to GOD by the death of his son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by his life. 11. And not only so, but we also joy in GOD through our LORD JESUS Christ, by whom have now received the atonement. 

When a person like myself have a situation at hand when it comes to a sibling, you got to take the bitter with the sweet to get through the day without going crazy. This is how it is with me and my sister Sherri. She makes you so angry sometimes to a point, you want to peel her skull and not ruin her hair in the process. Yes, we are in a spat about WiFi Internet that I asked her nicely to for, Sherri acted like she didn't want me to access to it. I decided to go ahead and change my mind about having access to her WiFi Internet.

Then, all heck broke loose, because I changed my mind and decided to back out. I told her that, "I am not trying to start anything with her, but...I notice that she was not talking and that she looked like she wasn't feeling well." At that moment, Sherri had told me she had a headache. I was going to accept the fact that she had a headache, until she told me that I was evil, and that our M O T H E R was right about me being rough and mean to her. Sherri had brought back and opened up old wounds about my spats with our M O T H E R, that I simply apologized to her on her death bed, before she was released to the Kingdom of GOD. It seemed like every time we had a spat, she would throw our M O T H E R in my face about the spats we use to have. I felt that was wrong of her to do that to me, when I already made peace with my, before she died. 

Sherri other indiscretion was also throwing her husbands parents in my face so that they can get them upset with me for them to look at me any kind of way like I am trash. I wasn't going to take it anymore with my sister throwing people in my face, including our deceased M O T H E R because it was a low blow to me to use our M O T H E R in that manner. I told my brother Wesley about what she did. He was totally upset with Sherri that she would rehash and bring up old wounds about our M O T H E R and I having having spats, and throwing her husband Lorenzo parents in the mix to get them upset with me over our spat with each other. I wasn't going to take it no more with my sister throwing people in my face, the main one I loved so much in my face, because it was ludicrous, unfounded, and ignorant. 

That was when I started praying for Sherri about her actions, and the fact that she had a headache, and about the fact that I was concerned about her, because she wasn't talking at all throughout the morning. It was like she was taking her frustrations out on me, and accusing me for arguing with her and I wasn't raising my voice to her. I was totally shock at the way she was acting. I left well enough alone and let GOD handle her problem, whether if it was all of her medicine she's taking bothering her, or if she just had a bad attitude from the effects of her medicines. I don't know anymore! 

My whole demeanor had changed about her when it came to her throwing people, including our M O T H E R in my face, and then rehashing up old wounds. "I am done taking it!" 

Fight My Battles For My F A T H E R Like A Toy Soldier

 Book 186 - Special Edition Post

1 Samuel 8:20 - 20. That we may be like all nations; and that our king may judge us, and go out before us, and fight our battles. 

2 Chronicles 32:8 - 8. With him is an arm of flesh, but with us is LORD our GOD to help us, and to fight our battles. And the people rested themselves upon the words of Hezekiah king of Judah.

Isaiah 30:32 - 32. And in every place where the grounded staff shall pass, which the Lord shall lay upon him, it shall be with targets and harps: and in battles of shaking will he fight with it. 

Step by Step, Heart to Heart...left right left, we all fall down, like Toy Soldiers. Whenever I hear that song, I think of my F A T H E R mostly, because...the woman who sung that song, lost her F A T H E R. It's very hard to fathom sometimes, because he is no longer here in my life, but...he will always be a part of the memories I have of him. "I will always treasure that unconditionally." I am hanging in there with every ounce of strength I have with every breath I take step by step, heart to heart for my F A T H E R. 

Left right left, I will not fall down in despair, grieve, and unhappiness like a Toy Soldier in this battle fought so hard through the last six months of my F A T H E R. "Who else can endure the kind of pain my family and I went through in one battle fought?" GOD and his son JESUS strengthen me and brighten me in my mind with all the tools I needed to win that battle for my F A T H E R in my pilots name sake. GOD and his son JESUS gave me the courage, the wisdom, and the talent to document without saying a word. The Toy Solider was left standing throughout everything it been through and won with an ounce of victory. With 427 battles fought, I was determined I give those battles to GOD and his son JESUS for my F A T H E R. 

Rest assure...my F A T H E R S story will continue to be true and told. There is justice for that solider known as my F A T H E R who has fallen, not by the wayside, but...in spirit so that he can rest in peace. I also think about my M O T H E R in the same way, and she could also rest assure that her story will also be told and is told in the present and in past tense in documentation without saying a word. I have a long way to go with fighting my battle 427 times for her. Rest assure...her story will be told in one heartbeat. 

There is no holding back in winning the battle 427 times 2 when it comes to loving the two people who are three years, four months apart from each other that I lost in my lifetime. I will not give into the battle I fought, because...GOD and his son JESUS are my captain from my latitude to my longitude, my battle will soon be a victory. 

What Sow...Sow Shall I Reap

 Book 185 - Special Edition Post

Luke 6:38 - 38. Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.

Galatians 6:8 - 8. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. 

2 Corinthians 9:6 - 6. But this I say, He which sleety sparingly shall reap also sparingly and he which sleety bountiful my shall reap also bountifully.

  

I wrote a letter in memory of my parents. I mostly wrote about my M O T H E R and my indiscretions I had against her when she was alive. Now...I reap what I sow through my son Zachary. I deserve what GOD and his son JESUS raft which is inflicted on me. I am going to take it, because I deserve it for the way I treated my M O T H E R. She continue to love me so much. Before she left me, she was at peace, and she forgave me with peace. I asked GOD and his son JESUS for forgiveness for my M O T H E R, and now, I am at peace.

My letter as it reads: 

I have issues dealing with the death of my parents. I know in my heart that my F AT H E R was the most important key to my existence, but...my M O T H E R was a different form of importance. She was the one who gave me life; she was the one who provided me comfort and with the knowledge to do so. She was my hover over me when things got bad. She made sure I was alright, along with my F A T H E R say in this. She made sure I had everything I needed to live in this world. Along with my F A T H E R, my M O T H E R was my safety net without confusion of what to do next. 

I have been taught by the best of the best. I have nothing but memories of my parents. Those memories continued with rules and regulations; the law of GOD and his son JESUS put into my parents hearts to instill it in me, so that I could learn from my mistakes if there were any. I can say right now, that I appreciate everything that my parents did for me when they were alive and well. I had a few bad patches with my M O T H E R I never got a chance to apologize to her about. Yes, I was a bad person only by choice at the time. 

I use to bad mouth my M O T H E R. My sister would tell me all the time, "To never talk to our M O T H E R like I did, and I did it anyway." But...my M O T H E R kept loving me even though, and she just kept smiling, never letting what I did bother her. In her heart, mind, body, and soul, she had already forgiven me for what I done to her. My M O T H E R was at peace through GOD and his son JESUS almighty. She had already forgiven me for all of indiscretions. I live through my reaping everyday through my son Zachary. 

He was so rebellious to me. He talks back to me just as I did my M O T H E R. Zachary did what he wanted and still doing what he wants just as I did my M O T H E R. He yells and screams at me just as I did to my M O T H E R. "I get it now!" I get it. What I sow...sow shall I reap. 

My reaping days is here in a ten fold through my son Zachary. He is totally letting me have it! Now I have the memory of my M O T H E R telling me so. She told me numerous times that everything I did to her was going to come back to me. It's here and it is ten times worst than I imagined for the way I treated her. I did love my M O T H E R with every breath I took and with every ounce of strength I had in my body, but...I didn't show her at the time when I treated her wrong when she was living on this earth. 

But...she forgave me before she she left me. Then...I asked GOD and his son JESUS to forgive me for what I did to my M O T H E R, and everything she had been through with me. I was totally amber to my F A T H E R, but...my M O T H E R rode the storm with me, my F A T H E R, and everyone else who did her wrong, and she just kept smiling to the four winds. I can say this with comfort, and with peace in my heart, "GOD and his son JESUS has forgiven me for my M O T H E R, and my M O T H E R has forgiven me through GOD and his on JESUS." 

I can say and continuously say, "I am at peace with it and myself included. I love you M O T H E R, I love you F A T H E R. Rest well.with the angels.

Our M O T H E R: Riding The Storm

 Book 180 - Special Edition Post 

2 Corinthians 1:6 - 6. And whether we be afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effectual in the enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer: or whether we be comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation. 

Psalms 19:9 - 9. The fear of the LORD is clean, enduring for ever: the judgements of the LORD are true and righteous altogether. 

When I write this post, I think of my M O T H E R and everything she has been through in her life. That's almost three scores and ten years before, she was called home to glory! How can anyone began to know the Hades she went through? Requiring minds want to know about the evil that was casted upon my M O T H E R S sweet soul. I can't forget the time when my F A T H E R was in the hospital for his stage four cirrhosis of the liver.

I remember he was having a hard time dealing with the pain of his disease. At the time, everyone one was there visiting him; my aunts Curline, Minnie Lou (The one that had Power of Attorney over my F A T H E R S life), Tammy, uncles Carl and Alfonzo, and his nieces and nephews. My M O T H E R S came, in support of my F A T H E R, since they were separated. I remember when my M O T H E R was on the side of his bed in a wheelchair, and she asked my F A T H E R, how he was doing? He told her right in front of everyone to, "Get out of his room!"

What my F A T H E R said to my M O T H E R, truly embarrassed her in front of everyone there in his hospital room. I looked over at my M O T H E R, and she had this look of disbelief; A shocking experience to know that my F A T H E R deceived her in a way that was unfounded. My niece Octavia looked over at her grandfather, and she became was angry with my with him at that peculiar moment. She walked over to my M O T H E R (her grandmother) and rolled her in her wheelchair chair; out of my F A T H E R S hospital room to a near by waiting room. Sherri, my twin sister followed her daughter Octavia and our M O T H E R to the waiting room. 

They never returned! I had stayed behind, because I wanted to ask my F A T H E R, "Why he disgrace my M O T H E R the way he did in front of everyone?" I was angry with my F A T H E R. He had no right to do what he did to my M O T H E R; embarrassing her like that in front of everyone there. I can only remember it as a bad memory against my M O T H E R. 

She was depressed for quite some time over my F A T H E R S indiscretion over what occurred that day. But, my M O T H E R...in the midst of her depression, kept a smile on her face, even though...she was hurting inside from my F A T H E R S deception. I remember a time when my F A T H E R first went out on my M O T H E R in an adulterous affair. It was Christmas Day. My M O T H E R, Sherri's boyfriend Lorenzo at the time; now husband, my brother Wesley Jr., and I had been at a party that my uncle Carl and aunt Tammy had hosted. 

My F A T H E R had left the party early. My M O T H E R noticed. Before reality came crashing down on my M O T H E R, she was told by an anonymous source that my F A T H E R was seen at this woman's house prior to my M O T H E R blinded fate that her husband was cheating on her. Wesley Jr., Sherri and Lorenzo, my M O T H E R, and I decided to leave the Christmas party with directions given to us from our anonymous source. It was after twelve midnight! In my M O T H E R S hands was  my  F A T H E R S location.

It was totally hard to fathom at first, what my M O T H E R was about to experience, as we travelled at a moderate pace of speed. We were in no hurry to find the deception of my F A T H E R S indiscretions. We took our time enroute to this woman of despair and my F A T H E R in the center of it. It took over forty for Wesley Jr., Sherri and Lorenzo, my M O T H E R, and I to arrive at this woman's house. My M O T H E R did not hesitate as she got out of car; she walked up to the front door as we (her children) and Lorenzo looked on. 

My M O T H E R knocked, and the woman answered the door. My M O T H E R looked, and she saw my F A T H E R sitting on the sofa (as my M O T H E R stated) "Without a care in the world", and then my F A T H E R raced out behind my M O T H E R as she was fiercely in tears. My F A T H E R said, "Now you know" like....he did not care about my M O T H E R S feelings at all. Wesley Jr., Sherri and Lorenzo, my  M O T H E R, and I did not waste anytime leaving the premises. 

The early morning after Christmas Day, I remembered it as a particularly bad memory, not even for me, but...especially for my M O T H E R to carry the deception of my F A T H E R S indiscretion into heart, mind, body, and soul. My M O TH E R cried of many days after she caught my F A T H E R cheating on her. She even had to leave the state to clear her head, but...my M O T H E R always kept a smile on her face, and a totally awesome spirit, no matter what storm comes her way of a hurricane. My F A T H E R S deception continued until the day, thirty plus years later, divorce papers were sent by a police officer to my M O T H E R S  front door. That's when the chain of events came crashing down on all of us. 

My F A T H E R had began planning for the end of his life, with the help of his oldest sister, Minnie Lou. I would always believe she had those divorce papers written up for my F A T H E R for a reason, and it was all health wise and financial. I remember a day before my F A T H E R was admitted to the hospital, that he came out to the house with papers in hand. I met him at the end of the drive way that day. He was trying to get my M O T H E R to sign some papers, including the divorce papers. 

I asked my F A T H E R was he okay. He said, "I am fine for now." As we were walking up the driveway, my F A T H E R was talking about the papers and how my M O T H E R used a credit card he had to file for divorce. The credit card was maxed out. I told my F A T H E R that he wasn't going into the house he built to confront my M O T H E R about those papers, because I knew that the papers he had was something that was against my M O T H E R, and I wasn't going to let him go inside the house to stir up chaos. 

Then, all of a sudden, my F A T H E R said something that disturbed my until this day. He said, "I know that you M O T H E R hopes I die of cancer." I asked him, "You got cancer?" My F A T H E R never answered me like...wow...why would he said that, and I question it, and he doesn't answer me? At that particular moment, I most definitely did not let him go inside the house to confront my M O T H E R. 

I didn't want any chaos between them. That was a memory that disturbed me so much; I often wondered on the top of things, "Did my F A T H E R have cancer on top of his liver disease, since my ex aunt Minnie Lou had Power of Attorney of his life instead of my M O T  H E R having that power if something was to happen to my F A T H E R?" I thought of my M O T H E R and how she felt over everything that has happened to her with my F A T H E R and his siblings going against her with every ounce of deception they had against my M O T H E R? But, my M O T H E R kept smiling no matter what, even though, she was hurting inside. I knew this! 

My M O T H E R has been through a lot in the 70 years of her life. The first twenty-five years of her life was good (she told me) and the rest of her life came crashing down on her. Instead, she kept smiling and loving her enemies (my extended family members) no matter what. My M O T H E R was a "Legend of Love" and she took that with her to her grave. My M O T H E R rode the storm with every obstacle thrown her way.

She didn't let anything bring her sweet spirit down all the way, but she had the strength to continue riding the storm, and I will always remember that about my M O T H E R. I think of what my M O T H E R went through, and I cry about it every now and then when I look at my pillow with her picture on it. I forgave my F A T H E R for everything he did to my M O T H E R, but...I would never forget what he did to my M O T H E R no matter what. She was a strong woman in a frail body. I can't imagine the strength she had to endure everything that has happened to her. I thank GOD and his son JESUS that my M O T H E R will never have to endure pain or crying again, because she is with our maker in Heaven. 

I am happy about that!  

Healing A Bad Patch

 Book 178

Malachi 4:2 - 2. But unto you that fear my name shall the Sun of righteousness arise with healing in his wings; and he shall go forth ANF grow up as calves of the stall.

Luke 9:11 - 11. And the people when they knew it, followed him: and he received them, and spend unto them of the Kingdom of GOD, and healed them that had need of healing.

1 Corinthians 12:9 - 9. To another faith the same Spirit; to another the gifts of healing by the same Spirit.

As usual on a Monday evening when I go out to my son Zachary football practice to watch him practice until he was finished practicing. While I sat there watching my son, my mind was in thought of my M O T H E R...only a brief moment. I remember a time when she sat in the exact spot where I was sitting, just watching her grandson practice and enjoying herself. It's hard sometimes not having my M O T H E R in my presents, or to the point where I could talk to her in person. I know GOD and his son JESUS took her home to be with them, but...sometimes I feel that I am totally alone without a care in the world for me to fathom that I exist. 

That's the way I feel sometimes, like I am not there in reality. On a Monday, I was in Wal-Mart Christmas shopping when I saw a woman on a motor car inside the store. With the strain of my eyes, I thought I saw my M O T H E R on that motor car riding towards me. For a minute my mind was out of reality of the fact that my M O T H E R was dead. I started riding towards this woman with a smile on my face, then I came to reality when I understood that the woman was not in fact my M O T H E R. My M O T H E R in reality was deceased. 

I immediately started crying out so loud until this man and woman came towards me like they wanted to console me. They asked was I alright. I told them I will be alright. I told them that,  I'll be fine. Two days later, the though of my M O T H E R that Monday evening stayed with me after seeing that woman in Wal-Mart. On Thursday I had a really bad patch about my M O T H E R. She was totally on my mind. I remember when I got into an argument with her over certain things; minor things that didn't make no sense to me.

I found that after my M O T H E R died, I never got the chance to apologize to her, or tell her that I loved her with all of my heart. That fate ate away with me, and I cry to the point that my blood pressure rises. I have been living with the guilt of that for quite sometime, until my brother Wesley and my sister-in-law Neyome invited me come and join their church. I joined and I got Baptised so that my sins can be washed away. And then...Wesley explained to me about my baptism. When you are baptized under GOD, all of your sin are washed away, including my guilt of not apologize to my M O T H E R when I had the chance. 

I now feel better about my indiscretions when it came to my apology to my M O T H E R. My LORD had already forgiven my sin. I feel that a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I now see that my M O T H E R can now rest in peace. I feel much better where I am. I find myself a Christian for GOD and his son JESUS. 

It feels good to be where I need to be and worship with people are warm and loving towards me, no matter what color you are. I am proud to be a part of the congregation for Christ our LORD. The memories of my M O T H E R will stay with me for the rest of my life. I can tell here, " I love her" anytime, even though she has gone home to glory where she will never suffer pain, or the pain of her dialysis; she will never cry again about anything. My M O T H E R is happy living with the LORD, and I am happy about that.

Dealing With Consequences And Repercussions

 Book 173

Galatians 6:7 - 8 - 7. Be not deceived; GOD is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. 8. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the spirit shall of the spirit reap life everlasting. 

Romans 6:23 - 23. For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of GOD is eternal life through JESUS Christ our LORD. 

1 John 1:9 - 9. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 

I find myself in deep thought about my M O T H E R and all the things I did to her when she was living. I know I'm reaping the consequences of my actions, and the repercussions on how I really treated her when things were so bad during a brief period of time in my life. M O T H E R tried to tell me some things to abide by and to take heed to, but...I would not listen to some of the things she warned me about according to what effect it will have on my life. I know that I'm paying for it and then some. My M O T H E R thought I hated her because of her outbursts towards me, being that she was just a old woman set in her way.  

I should of taken the fact to heart that my M O T H E R was just an old woman set in her way of things and I never should have been so hard on her. I had a attitude problem, I admit that! I needed to straighten that in order to be humble towards my M O T H E R when she had one of her outbursts. When I think of her, sometimes I just want her to argue with me about anything. That's how much I miss her knowing that I would never have the luxury of a M O T H E R in her mortal body again. I can only have her in spirit and in my memory. 

I can wish that everyone who still have their M O T H E R will treat her like a Q U E E N. I challenge that with everyone who still have their M O T H E R. It is a hard thing to go through life without my M O T H E R, because...she was the root of all things that mattered to me. I just miss her so much and I can't seem to come to reality of her death. That is a hard thing to do when it comes to having a M O T H E R who really have been there for me and my siblings through thick and thin and still...she landed on her feet when she got tripped up by anyone who would always keep her unbalanced. This is why the death of my M O T H E R is eating me up. With all the things I did in my past, it has come back to haunt me in a way it keeps me in tears. 

This is my season for reaping and sowing for my actions. I am suffering the consequences and the repercussions of my actions. This is by the rules and regulations of GOD when he wrote the Ten Commandments; the fifth commandment: Exodus 20:12 - Honor thy Father and thy Mother that thy days will be longer upon the earth in which the LORD thy GOD giveth thee. I now think about that commandment knowing that my M O T H E R and F A T H E R is not here anymore, it is instilled in my heart forever. It is a commandment that I would always abide by and learn from.

An Unfounded Dose Of Betrayal

 Book 172

Mark 11:25 - 25. And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any; that your Father also which is in Heaven may forgive you your trespasses

One day niece, you will know what it feel like to be betrayed by the one that suppose to love you unconditionally. One day niece, you will know what it feel like to be ignored when you call out to that person by their name and that person keeps walking away from you without listening to what you had to say to them and them without uttering a sound. One day niece, you will know what it feel like for you to want a hug and that person tells you that "they don't want that hug, or they don't want to talk to you, or they don't want you to touch them and they just walk out to door so full of resentment against you because...they found a indiscretion that you did that they didn't like." Understand niece, how it feels to be betrayed by the person you thought suppose to love you no matter what circumstances hit over the horizon. After all said and done, your eyes are so full of tears, because...you can't fathom the thought of what you did that was so wrong that person seem to carry so much hate. 

Yes...the facts are mutual that it is a love/hate relationship this person carries for you that you can't understand why they are doing this you when all you did was to love them with all of your might. One day niece, you are going to ask yourself, "Why did I do this to the one that loves me unconditionally without thinking twice." One day niece, you are going to imagine the thought of what you done to bring unhappiness, tears, and depression to the one who only want to reason with you when you said, "I didn't utter a greeting to you that morning, when it was obvious that you get the same greeting every morning you enter the front room. Now, it is time that I give you niece an ultimatum! How you carried yourself that morning was totally unfounded and it was betrayal to you've endured on me when all you would of received is love unconditionally. 

All this boils down to niece was all you had to do was to tell me my indiscretion straight forward and that indiscretion would of made a 360 to your satisfaction. All that could of been worked out accordingly if only you didn't have that kind of demeanor you had that morning. I didn't know how to come at you, because of this demeanor you carried so graciously. "It was scary to fathom how you were feeling that morning niece!" I will say this, "How you treated me as a elder...you had no right to treat me like that otherwise, because...I am a elder...and you treat your elders with respect." 

R-E-S-P-E-C-T, you did not administer that thought. You just walked out the door in haste, and with that haste, you will reap the consequences and the repercussions of your actions. One day niece, you will know what that feel like to want love and you can't receive it. There was one thing I was told niece, and here is what I was told by someone that was also suppose to close to me when I had no one else to turn to but my self. "My daughter loves you very much!" 

Well here is my saying to the one that suppose to be close to me when I didn't have no one to turn to or to back me up when it comes to being decieved and betrayed. "If I was truly loved, everything I said in this post, would of never came to past." That's not love if a person ignores you when all you wanted to do was to talk to them and they keep walking away from you without listening to that word you had to say them; and what was so hurting, was that they tell you that say they didn't want a hug from you and that they didn't want to talk to you; and most of all...acted like they didn't want you to touch them and they walk straight out the door with that kind of haste is not love. That in itself is hate and it is total betrayal!  

Happiness Is Where The Heart Is

Book 164

2 Corinthians 13:11 - 11. Finally, brethren, farewell. Be perfect, be of good comfort, be of one mind, live in peace; and the GOD of love and peace shall be with you. 

Jude 1:2 - 2. Mercy unto you, and peace, and love, be multiplied. 


*Link to COVID19 is available in my post.

I'm getting ready to make my post be known by everyone who's viewing it. I find myself consistently walking on egg shells; and I'm listening to every crack those shells make as I walk into a depressive state in my life that I feel everyday. My niece gives me every reason to think this, because of the way she walks around the house, and not a word to me the whole time she's off her truck route. But...I decided to start ignoring those possibilities of being ignored by my niece, and move on with my life, until I find a place of my own with my son Zachary. I can't let my niece continue breaking my down to the point of being depressed all the time, and me, consistently walking on egg shells to her ignorance of me being the best aunt she could ever had, since I was the one who co-signed for her to go to trucking school.

I just got tired of being the cast off, and the ghost of the unknown, which would be the main reason why I'm writing this post. I want to move on from this, and not feeling sorry for myself, or someone else feeling sorry for me. I'm starting my day off with getting dressed, and ready for my day. I'm thinking about going over to my brother-in-law mother's house, because there is where I feel the happiest. No negatives allowed there!

I was glad of that! I'm a hop, skip, and a jump away of walking out the door to go and visit my brother-in-law, Lorenzo, my twin sister, Sherri, and my mother, Ruth, and the rest of the family. The journey over to my brother-in-law mother's house, took me through a time of happiness and joy for the first time in five months since my family and I moved in with my niece. About ten minutes later, I arrived at my brother-in-law's mother house with "polar pops" and snacks ready to start my day with my immediate family. Zachary and I were there not only for a family get together, we were there for a fish fry as well. I had to pitch in to by the fish for our fish fry.

My brother-in-law Lorenzo, my twin sister Sherri, my mother Ruth, my great niece Ta'Neisha, and my brother-in-law father Maxwell decided to go together to the fish market to buy fish. Our journey took at least thirty-minutes to forty minutes to reach our destination, depending on the traffic. As we arrived, we found a line outside of the fish market. With the COVID19 going on, for all of our safety, social distancing was the main priority to keep us all safely distant from one another. It was six persons at a time to enter into the fish market.

It took no more than fifteen minutes tops, for Lorenzo and I to enter into the fish market by escort. We had a very huge order; three pounds of tilapia, and five mullets pan fry and ready to go. I took about another twenty to twenty-five minutes for the prep guys inside to clean and prepare the fish. Lorenzo and I had to wait outside until the fish is cleaned and ready for me to pay and pick up the fish and four orders of imitation crab meat. After twenty-five minutes passed, Lorenzo and I entered the fish market by escort so that I can pay for and pick up our fish order. 

Afterwards...my family and I started our journey back to my brother-in-law's mother's house in time for our fish fry. It was the greatest time Zachary and I will ever have just spending time with immediate family, and having the grandest fish fry in the many months since we moved in with my niece. 

   

Walking Towards Redemption

Book 163

Proverbs 20:5 - 5. Counsel in the heart of man is like deep water, but...a man of understanding will draw it out. 

Psalms 69:14 - 14. Deliver me out of the more, and let me not sink: let me be delivered from them that hate me, and out of the deep waters. 

Caution: The identities of my niece and nephew are protected under the love I have for them. Readers discression advised! 


More likely, the force is with me in the matter of my status as a unloved aunt with a lot of emotions that has mentally engulped life as far as I saw it. Too much time has passed, and it seemed like nothing is getting better with my relationship with...especially my niece. My nephew on the other hand...still has mixed feelings about me, and the relationship is still a bit estranged in a whole lot of ways. They hardly talk to me about anything, no matter what that may be, they just don't talk to me period. They don't talk about their problems to me, nor do they give me a hint of what's going on in their lives.

What did I do to deserve such attitude? I know I've had some faults that I attend to address on my own, and with no fault of my own, but...will make available upon request. What I can suggest in the matter of my two silent parties (niece and nephew) is that I spot the complete ingredients of  selfishness, and a ton of non compassion for me from the both of them. I'm getting so tired of the silent, but...double silent drama. It has taken toll on my life as a mature adult who has been on the peak of the mountain, and I'm starting to climb down with a lot of caution that I don't get tripped up in my emotions that I feel.

What double webs are weaved several times over the doubts I feel? I questions it with a vengeance! And yet...I find myself in tears most of the time when I'm alone with these thoughts dancing around in my head. My steps are light as I continue to walk on egg shells when it comes to my niece and nephew's corrupt attitudes towards me. I know that someday, I will get answers, and why with my conscience they seem to carry this love/hate relationship with me.

My requiring mind really want to know why is this happening to me, after all I've done for my niece and nephew. And sometimes I wish that my twin sister and her husband would open their eyes and see the emotions I've dealt with concerning their children.

Tormented With Immediate Family Deception

Book 162

Matthew 5:38 - 39 - 38. Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for eye, and a tooth for a tooth; 39. But I say unto you, that ye resist not evil; but whosoever shall smite thee on they right cheek, turn to him the other also. 



Who knows what to do, or what to say about people you love so much. The word "family" mean so much to me. I couldn't fathom my family doing me, or mines wrong in a sense so logic, like my what my extended ex family did to my immediate family. You know...that extended ex family who deceived my immediate family in a way that was unfounded during the last six months of my FATHER'S sickness, and of his life. But...I don't want to get into that travesty, because...it's too painful to bare, and it's quite intolerable

I had an experience with a few of my "younger" family members, and I can't believe how they really act towards me, especially when its a love, and then a hate relationship. Sometimes I feel like I'm walking on egg shells with these two who seem to give me grief and heartbreak every chance they get. I choose not to enclose their names due to the extreme love I have. "No hate for them at all, because...they are my niece and nephew." What did I ever do to them?

I always question that logic.in a sense of understanding without judgement. But...you know, GOD and his son JESUS is good all the time when times are like this, and everything I'm going through. I found that my nephew in general loves to give out information to my niece...whenever something goes on in the apartment we're living. He spares no expense, nor a bet on "tattle tale" himself to death, if only a brief moment to my niece about what goes on, whether, or if anyone in the apartment is arguing about something, or they did something, my niece knows about. I found myself getting very upset about this deception my niece and nephew is carrying on. and I'm totally, and emotionally, and mentally tired of it. Even though...it's not my apartment, and I don't have any say over the renter of the apartment, but I'm considered the "older adult" surrounded by deception.

But...like I say, "GOD and his son JESUS is good all the time. Because...when I think of way they try to get rid of me and my son out of the apartment for what reason; I don't know, I still question why do they have this love...hate thing for me? The answers will come when consequences and repercussions gather at the crown of their heads to the soles of their feet. A brain is a terrible thing to waste these days. But...I pray that someday they will see the good in me that their blinded too; and to do this to their aunt, because...I'm set in my ways of how I do things, and it's that logic in itself is a fact of the matter.

I'm done! I'm at this very point of no return, and I'm very sick and tired of being treated like a martyr in the family, and this relic is too old, and it's rubbing off on my son Zachary. And 99.9% of the time, whatever happens, it's clearly not my fault, but...the fault of other who consistently provoke the situation and wants attention, while I get chewed out.  A few days ago, I acted out, not in haste, but...with heartbreak and hurt. You get sick and tired of being sick and tired! That's logical.

Home Is A Luxury

Book 160

Romans 16:26 - 26. But now is made, and by the scriptures of the Prophets according to the commandment of the everlasting GOD, made known to all Nation's for the obedience of faith.



Links To Main Website For #COVID19



My blessings is full of joy as I post. Staying home is a luxury due to the #COVID19 virus that's hitting us hard worldwide. Lots of people complain about staying home and being couped up with hardly nothing to do. "Praying to GOD and his son JESUS is totally nice to do, when their giving you another life to live during this deadly #COVID19 virus." Giving your life to our pilots for sparing you from getting the #COVID19 is a all time luxury to have, and is truly a blessing to be thankful for.

I wish people in general will take that to heart, instead of thinking only about themselves, and not giving thanks for their lives, health and strength, and living beyond the #COVID19 virus without any thought of being fearful of the disease, if they trust in GOD and his son JESUS to surround themselves with their shield of protection. It's not hard to fathom why this virus spands worldwide, but...you got remember this, "When our pilots are mad of how evil this world has become to the point their vengeance is released with a vengeance to let us all know, their not kidding about the possibilities of one gaining repentance for all of our sins, and the evil we've done in and around this globe, and unto others that are totally unfounded." If we're told to stay home for many reasons, '#COVID19' is the ultimate reason why we are secluded to our homes, or we pay the ultimate price for being hard headed, and not obeying this lock down that has gone into effect worldwide. Don't complain about things we as a Nation, and worldwide cannot change, even if we all wanted to do so. We can't get another life (if we survive with a miracle) the #COVID19 once it hit our bodies.

A whole lot has to be considered in this case. Obedience is a must! If our Governor's, Senators, down to our President say, "Stay home for your protection, then do as your told without uttering a complain about your freedom to wander when you want to, because you may just end up paying that ultimate price of someone who are randomly in our midst, and out there coughing on you and everyone without covering their mouths." Think of the logics of this matter, and stay home, because it's a luxury to do so. May GOD add a blessing to our souls, for the edification of our hearts. This is what we all need to correct and change for our protection.

Let's Be Honest About The Things We Should Be Honest About!

Book 158

2 Corinthians 4:2 - 2. But have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, nor handing the word of GOD deceitfully; but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of GOD.

1 Timothy 2:2 - 2. For kings, and for all that are in authority that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty. 

What more can I do about the situation I'm in with Alrick. He doesn't really understand what I'm trying to do to make his surprise more exciting. But...I told my twin sister Sherri to forget his surprise, and go with what I have with the money to Jamaica. $2,500 dollars to be exact! For me...I feel what I told my sister (to forget the surprise) will be a learning lesson for Alrick, to never doubt what I'm trying to do to make things better for us in Jamaica.

I know in my heart that he'll be upset with me, as he always have been, for a week; in and out of one argument to the next, and its about the money. How will I tell Alrick about the money I had in the bank for my trip to Jamaica? How will I tell him that I'm very short of the amount I said I had? How will I tell him that I had to use most of the money for things I had to do that were very important? I've kept this secret in far too long to let him know why my trip is prolonged.

When I told him about my sister and her husband Lorenzo had to cancel their trip to Las Vegas, Nevada, because of the "Corona Virus" that's lingering around the entire world, and that my son Zachary will not be home alone after all, he snapped on me in a heartbeat. We argued for at least an hour and a half about my sister and her husband's cancellation of their trip, and I don't why that was. I knew for sure that Alrick was going to ask me about their money, and the money I had in the bank. This was why I couldn't tell him about the money in the bank, because I'm very short of cash, and I need a little more to equal the amount I'm bringing to Jamaica (that my sister and her husband are going to give to me) instead of Alrick's surprise that I had in store for him. With all the arguments we had, is the reason I told my sister to cancel Alrick's surprise, and I didn't tell her why I cancelled the surprise.

Like I stated at the beginning of this post, "Cancellation of the surprise will be a learning lesson for Alrick" to never doubt me about anything I'm trying to do to make our lives better. That is the repercussions that one must endure for their attitude, spasms, and mayhem that was inflicted on me. But...most part, I deserve most of the problems that were inflicted on me for not telling Alrick about the money I had in the bank, and that it wasn't enough to really do anything, like taking care of the house the Alrick had reserved for us in Jamaica. I pray the house is still there in the name of JESUS! LORD I pray that it's still there 'reserved' for us to have for the entire month I will be in Jamaica.

I hope that Alrick will forgive me for everything I put him through. For the amount of love that he give me unconditionally, I really need to change my ways, as he stated to me in a conversation we had over a week ago, I believe. I guess I never had that kind of love before, not even with my son's father. I know now how important I am to Alrick. I admit to all the problems I cause Alrick for not disclosing the truth about the money I had in the bank.

I guess I felt...I was most afraid that I would lose my "sweet boy" who's all man for his age...over twenty plus years my senior. I guess I was to...testing myself to see how much this man love me. But still...I'm so afraid I will lose my sweet boy! I pray that he allow me to still come and be with him as his wife in Jamaica. I can only hope when he read this post if the offer still stand and that he will still love me, and be his wife. This is a learning lesson for me as well!

"Well...I had to express myself on 'electronic paper' to prove a point to my fiance, because I couldn't tell him to his face in fear that he would leave me." 

When Our Lives Is About Unconditional Love And Happiness

Book 157 - Special Edition Post

1 Peter 3:7 - 7. LIkewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. 

Ephesians 5:31 - 31. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.



I've learned so much about my life in one heartbeat after another. I found myself in a midlife crisis, and it was hard for me to believe that I can act out of malice and self pity over things that was not necessary to argue about. My fiance Alrick and I had a terrible argument about doing thinks that mattered to both of us. And for no apparent reason, I started an argument about money, and other things that I don't care to explain, because it's too private to talk about. I was very mean and nasty to Alrick, and I felt so ashamed of myself for carrying on like I did.

I did apologize to my Alrick for my totally ugly behavior. It's just...I don't want to lose what I have with him. I trying to make my way into his heart and into his arms in Jamaica by the end of this month. I just hope that nothing out of the ordinary come up, or I don't let him down, because I've already changed plans from the middle of the month (on the 15th) to the end of month on the 31st of March. I just hope I don't disappoint him! And...I don't want him to be upset with me if something comes up and I can't make the trip at the end of the month.

I'm really praying to GOD and his son JESUS to make it happen for me to travel (even with the Corona Virus) that's going around, I know that my GOD and his son JESUS will put a shield of protection around me as I travel to Jamaica. I know I will be covered in the name of my pilots above. "Please GOD, let me make my trip to Jamaica without anymore problems, or delays." I've delayed Alrick enough to want to be there in Jamaica, and in his arms as soon as I get off of my plane. Please GOD...let it be for me to travel and be with Alrick, and we get married, conceive our baby, and move on with our lives as we see it.

I know it will be beautiful! Alrick love's me more than himself put together. He has shown me more than twice, more than I can count. Communication is a must, as well as trust for one another with honesty without holding back. I give my life to Alrick, as I live it without haste and anger.

I love him so much; even more than myself. Alrick and I will always love unconditionally! 😍😘🙏 "Father GOD...in you holy and blessed name, I pray for Alrick and I, that we make it in our marriage, and that we shall prosper with our lives as we see fit with you ahead of all things that we will go through as husband and wife." We will have problems; we will go through battles fought in wars that we can win together; we can strive and mend our relationship with communication, trust, faith, hope and glory and that we solve our problems in a instant; we will continue to live by your word, I pray...amen. 

For My Father: Who Rides On Deception?

Book 155

2 Chronicles 29:35 - 35. And also the burnt offerings were in abundance with the fat of the peace offerings, and the drink of offerings for every burnt offering. So the service of the house of the LORD was set in order

Synopsis - Through my felling's I still have over my FATHER'S passing, my post expresses what I feel everyday of my life, when I can't stop thinking of my FATHER, and everything that has happen. One thing is certain I have GOD and his son JESUS in my life, and that's all I need to get through the day of my grief, my tears, my memories of my FATHER through and through.

I didn't feel the need to write about my FATHER throughout the month of February, even though, his birthday was in the month. I felt it was too painful to write about my FATHER until now. He is truly missed every hour of the day, day after day, month after month, year after year. I still can't fathom his passing, but...I've learned to deal with the way he went was so tragic. Why I say tragic?

The logic of my FATHER'S passing was beyond what I didn't expect until he told me what was happening to him before he went into a coma indefinitely. When he told me that "She's killing me" that and every ounce of anger in me took toll on my way of thinking, and my actions were well noted in this blog. I could never forget what I think Minnie Lou Wright did to her brother behind closed doors (maybe telling the hospice nurse to administer an overdose of morphine to my FATHER)  leaving my mother (my FATHER'S wife) myself, my twin sister Sherri, and my brother Wesley Jr. without knowledge of what's going on behind that closed door during the time his blood family (immediate) should of been by his side. That was why my FATHER said to my face, "She's killing me." That in itself will leave a scar with me for the rest of my life. 

"Wow beyond to those who do evil upon others" like myself, my mother Ruth, my twin sister Sherri and my brother Wesley Jr.. "What Minnie Lou sow...sow shall she reap all the conscequences, and all the repercussions of her actions towards us, and especially towards my FATHER ultimately." She maybe...or she claim that she is so 'holy' but her day is coming, thus saith the LORD thy GOD, and anyone else who was involved putting my immediate family through hell throughout my FATHER'S sickness. Thank GOD...I can now move on! I was hard not to think that this was my FATHER'S birthday month. 

All is done! What happened in the past...some say...should stay in the past. My FATHER is part of that past, and none of us can't bring him back to us. I continue to think about him a whole lot. Its hard not to under the circumstances revolving around his death. But...I'm trying to live each day with GOD and his son JESUS grace, trust, love, and faith in my pilots. 

Minnie Lou and all who was involved, will never rest easy until they apologize to my family for their foul odor of evil, their twisted bloody lies, and the Power of Attorney Minnie Lou had over my FATHER'S life in conflict over our lives. I want the world to know this about Minnie Lou and her gang of monsters who racked havoc and chaos over my immediate family lives. GOD and his son JESUS removes stumbling blocks out of the way, so the meek can prosper. I can finally deal with that!

We Will Never Forget The One We Love This Holiday Season

Book 152

Numbers 35:31 - 31. Moreover ye shall take no satisfaction for the life of a murderer, which is guilty of death: but he shall be surely put to death

I miss my popski so much...I can't began to fathom what it's been like for us. We think of him everyday, especially around this time of the year, from the day of my FATHER'S death on the 4th of December 2016, three years ago. It's hard not to think of him when it comes to missing his barbecue. We (Sherri,Wesley Jr. and I) haven't been the best of children towards him, I admit that, but...we saw him when we needed to see him) and we continued to come, and we came, and we saw him before we knew fully that our FATHER was really sick.

"That part was kept from us!"  But...I don't want to rehash the past, because it's a bum rush; we (the family) would like to keep old relic in it's place. It's time to think ahead into the future, because...I finally after all this time...let my FATHER go, because I can't bring him back to us ever, but...I would let GOD'S vengeance take over what was done to my MOTHER and his children. We forgive and love everyone involved, but...we will never forget it for infinity. It's not easy to forget what was once a beautiful family...to no family connection at all, because of what was done to my family. No more grudges held against those culprits, because they will meet their day of judgement. I'm only saying what I must say; I'm only expressing how I really feel, and it's only natural to do so when the man we (the family) love has been taken from us for infinity. But...like I said, "We (the family) must let old relic go...and for it to our past tense.

GOD and his sons vengeance is their virtue to fight our battles, but...karma will soon meet up with those who meant my family sorrow. I can say, "I'm comfortable with the way I feel about most things...one...is the death of my FATHER and loving him enough to let him go." Like I said...I can't bring him back to life, but I must go on with living life to the fullest in the name of my pilots. Nothing in my life without my FATHER will never be the same, but...I must go on, no matter how much it hurt. All I have is memories of a lifetime.

I'll settle for those fine memories, because...it's all I have to hold onto.

When We Lease Expect It

Book 149

Job 36:17 - 17. But thou hast fulfilled the judgment of the wicked; judgement and justice take hold on thee. 

I never thought that this could happen to us in a man fold, but...our family can't do nothing about it now. Our situation can't even be won in court, even if we took a fine tooth comb through the facts of the matter when our lease was terminated. If we were not on a lease (when it was time for it to be renewed) and we are living month to month, then at any time the landlord had can relinquish their home and property back from us. That's what the judge would say! Yes...our family has a little under three weeks to vacate the premises.

What a bad situation to be in! But...with GOD almighty and his son JESUS in charge of our situation; what turns out to be a no win situation, can be a wonderful situation turned around by GOD almighty and his son JESUS to provide for his children at no cost. My family and I have already started packing some of our stuff, but...a little at a time until we're finished packing up the house. In a way...I'm kind of glad that we're moving (I suggested this months prior to our eviction notice, that we needed to go ahead and give up the two acres and the home, because of what ever issues the landlord had with the land the home is sitting on) but its specifically wrong time of the year to be moving out of a home with no money to spare after we (the family) had already paid the rent. Thanksgiving haven't reached our equation as of yet as I speak.

I know that my family and I will be fine once we find another home to live in, even if we don't have the money to move. This is where faith come in for all of us! This we can fathom its mystery, but...with belief unconditionally. So with this said, none of us are worried about the money, or where we're going to live, because we all know that GOD and his son JESUS are in charge of our situation. GOD'S vengeance will play a role in the landlord's decision to not require a lease for my family and I to sign off on, instead of living from month to month (in which the landlord set it up for our lease to be terminated) but...with this said, my family and I will relinquish their home and land back to them without a fight. Our move could be where the grass is greener, if GOD and his son JESUS will have every thing to do with this situation. Trusting and giving our situation to our pilots is the key to good living...when we get there.

When Demands Are Overrated

Book 148

Proverbs 3:6 - 6. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. 

                16:1 - 1. The preparations of the heart in man, and the answer of the tongue, is from the      LORD.

                16:9 - 9. A man's heart deciseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps. 

*I will keep this "girl" anonymous throughout my post



I'm starting to think that I had this girl wrong from the get go. I thought that she would change her tune about a whole lot of stuff, but...I was totally wrong when I comes her way of thinking about the consequences and the repercussions of her actions. Here's what happened! She tried to plan a birthday party for her son, which is common for someone who loves her son very much. But...here's the problem! She planned her son's birthday party without telling my twin sister Sherri and her husband about it.

So what is the verdict of the situation of this girl's son's birthday party? Well...here is the answer! I don't think Sherri was going to let this girl have the birthday party at our family home. Or at least...for now, being so that this girl's son's birthday party is tomorrow. Here's what I know. If you'r e going to plan something as important as birthday party, tell the person, or person's in charge, and are the heads of the home, and not plan anything ahead of self, if it can be helped.

I guess this girl thought she had more leverage than my twin sister and her husband to request her demands anytime she felt like dropping them like a dime on a catch. Common sense will tell her otherwise not to do what she did instantaneously without thinking ahead of herself, and making strong demands without telling my twin sister and her husband about her plan to have her son's  birthday party at our home. It's only logical to assume right and let my twin sister and her husband know extremely ahead of time, and not ahead of self, just like this girl has done. With this said, it would give awesome quality on our way of thinking that making demands is a way of life without suffering it consequences and the repercussions that comes along with those demands. Think twice and ask first before you place a demand cause you think you can anytime.

DITTO!!!!!