The Hummingbird Sounds Of A M O T H E R

 Book 202

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Proverbs 31:10 - 10. Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies.

There is not a day I don't think about my M O T H E R. It's so hard on me sometimes, knowing that she is gone up to glory. It's all good! My M O T H E R is in a better place in my heart. I hear her voice when speaking to me in a abundance of sweet sound of a hummingbird. 

I miss my M O T H E R so much no matter what I do, she is still gone forever. There is nothing I could do about it. I am amongst the living! I need to try and live the best way I know how. I have started my healing process with a mental health specialist. She's really good at what she does in order to help me with my grief. 

I can't forget her...ever! Even if she not living, I will always carry the memories of her in my heart. My M O T H E R  has given me those sweet melodies of a hummingbird. That in itself I will cherish the rest of my life. There is nothing else besides GOD and his son JESUS will ever take her place. 

Thoughts Of A Gentle Woman

 Book 201

1 Peter 3:9 - 9. Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing; but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.

Sherri went down to our M O T H E R S grave to check on things, and to see if anything was disturbed on the grave. So far so good, nothing was disturbed on the grave. Everything was intacted! I was truly glad of that. I wish that my sister would of let me know when she was going to our M O T H E R S grave. I would of liked to visit too. But...her visit put me into thought about the solar light that she ordered for our M O T H E R. Maybe that's why Sherri went out there, because personally, you couldn't get Sherri to go out to our M O T H E R S grave for anything, because of her thinking about her all the time without a break.

Lorenzo told me that Sherri took it rough out there while on their visit to M O T H E R S grave. As much as I think of the memories we shared with my M O T H E R, I don't think it would get any easier for us when it comes to the grieving process. Then, I think about Sherri and what she must be going through living so close to graveyard, and knowing that our M O T H E R is buried out there. She want her husband Lorenzo to move her away from being near the graveyard, even though she's almost quarter of a mile away from it. Sherri told me once that she would never be straight from our M O T H E R dying like she did with no one around her because of the pandemic back in 2020. 

I guess being as close as she is to the graveyard, I can truly understand why she feel the way she do about living so close. It has been hard on all of us as a very small version of our immediate family. Sherri, Wesley Jr. and I are all we have from our immediate family. I still wished that Sherri would of told me that she was visiting our M O T H E R. I wanted to go as long as someone was near, because I still can't go out into the graveyard on my own right now. I am so glad that everything was intact. Nothing was disturbed on my M O T H E R S grave and I am happy about that. 

Thinking About M O T H E R S Day Blues

 Book 199

John 16:22 - 22. And ye now therefore have sorrow; but I will see you again, and your heart shall rejoice, and your joy no man taketh from you

 

It is still fresh in our hearts, our M O T H E R S death. Grief has no season according to our reality when it comes to our M O T H E R. Sherri, Wesley Jr. and I long for our M O T H E R each day of our lives, never letting go of her is a hard thing to do right at this very moment I...myself...think of her without a break. I remember when I spoke to my brother just a few days ago. His whole conversation was about our M O T H E R. He said, "She just came across my mind all of a sudden, and it hit me very heart to the point I started crying." I never thought till this day I would hear my brother cry, being the man that he is. Our M O T H E R S death broke him down to a breaking point, missing her was totally a precious moment in all of our lives. 

My brother did not want to tell our Sherri about his break down being that she was epileptic. Our conversations was between Wesley and I. We were having a M O T H E R S day blues just shy of M O T H E R S Day. None of us could go out to our M O T H E R S grave, because it was too painful for us to visit her, knowing that she was no longer with us in our hearts, but in spirit. Sherri, Wesley Jr. and I pray about it from time to time, and maybe our grief will come a little bit more easy for us to bare. Like I always say, "Grief doesn't have a time limit" and I felt this hurt will always be with us the rest of our lives. 

We know that we are not the only ones experiencing a death in the family. But...prayer changes everything in its place. Sherri, Wesley Jr. and I will manage our grief one day at a time. 

Never A Day Missed I Don't Think About My M O T H E R

 Book 198

Exodus 20:12 -12.Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

What I share with ever one of my family members is the memories of a legend. "A Legend Of Love" my M O T H E R Ruth Ann Brunson. There is not a day I don't think about my M O T H E R. She is kind of tough to get over with every ounce in my body I can take. She was the light that shined bright in our hearts, and I will never forget the memories she left behind for us to cherish.

She was a soldier in the army of GOD and his son JESUS. All the battles my M O T H E R when through, my pilots fought them all for her so that she could have peace with in her heart, mind, and soul. She also stayed silent about the things that hindered her, but she didn't let foolish things get to her, no matter what the happened or who did it to her. My M O T H E R was a pro at letting things go without hate or haste. She prayed and prayed unconditionally to GOD and his son JESUS about the burdens that was instilled on her at that brief moment in her life. A soldier of our pilots above!

My Mother was a "Legend Of Love" and you can never get no better than that in a lifetime if you give your love unconditionally; even weathering the storm that blow you around like a piece of cardboard. My M O T H E R been through every possible storm there is to go through. 35 plus years was enough for my M O T H E R. "It was enough for her!" She can now rest in the glory of GOD and his son JESUS. I am thankful for that!

Not Living In Persecution

 Book 195

Exodus 20:2-17 2. I am the LORD thy GOD, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. 3. Thou shalt have no other gods before me. 4. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. 5. Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy GOD am a jealous GOD, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; 6. And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments. 7. Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy GOD in vein; for the LORD will not hold the guiltless that taketh his name in vain. 8. Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. 9. Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work: 10. But the seventh day is the sabbath of the lord god: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates: 11. For in six days the LORD made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and the rested seventh day: where for the LORD bless the sabbath day, and hallowed it. 12. Honour thy Father and thy Mother: that thy days be long upon the earth which the LORD thy GOD giveth thee. 13. Thou shalt not kill. 14. Thou shalt not commit adultery. 15. Thou shalt not steal. 16. Thou shalt not bear false witness against they neighbor. 17. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox l, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbor's.

Sometimes I feel like everyone is against me for no reason, nor did I give them a reason to be so judgemental against me. Even though my siblings, nephews, and especially my niece are on the outside; and trying to look inside my thoughts, and they have no clue about what's going on with me, or how I feel about things, or know the flavor of my Kool Aid. My issue run deeper than an open wound, and it seems like everyone loves to pick at it like the center of a nucleus. I am not trying judge anyone in my family, but it's the way I feel sometimes when I feel everyone trying to nit pick an argument up for no reason, and I haven't cause any haste, nor done anything to no one,  and I am truly convinced. Anytime I feel the way I feel when I think my family trying to get me frustrated, especially my sister Sherri, only to start a argument with me, I start to pray. 

And then...I think of my M O T H E R when these provocative occurrences of anger my family is trying to inflict on me for no reason what so ever. I remember times when I did my M O T H E R wrong out of haste. I wasn't a perfect child to her, and I don't bite my tongue when I tell the truth about it.  No one is perfect in their sense of character. I did apologize to my M O T H E R the day she went to glory. 

But...I'm still reaping the consequences and the repercussions for my indiscretions and actions against my M O T H E R. Then I think of the book of Exodus 20:12, "Honour thy Father and thy Mother: that thy days may be long upon the earth which the LORD thy GOD giveth thee." The bible is fulfilling itself at its entirety. I know what I had to go through, and pray about, before I could receive fully salvation, and be forgiven for my sins, and my sins against my M O T H E R. Back to my family! All I ever wanted from my family, was to fit somewhere in the equation, and like a missing piece of a puzzle.

If I did anything wrong to anyone, I would to tell my family: I am truly sorry in the name of JESUS, my LORD. My pilots know I do not want any more haste with my family, nor with anyone else. I made my peace with my M O T H E R before she went to glory, and I know she forgave me a long time ago. I just want to live holy; laugh with my family every chance I get, and love my family for every second of every minute I live on this earth. "That's my destiny in a way life that we all should be living in the mist of GOD and his son JESUS."

Memories And A GODSEND To Our Family

 Book 195

John 8:42 - 42. JESUS said unto them, if GOD were your father, ye would love me; for I proceeded forth and came from GOD; neither came I of myself, but he sent me. 

My family and I find ourselves thinking of our parents a lot more than we want to. The reason why I said it the way I did, is because it's been hard on all of us in a sense of grieving. Our parents are still fresh in our minds, no matter what. What it is to do with these memories? That's hard to answer right now as I post. 

Our M O T H E R is the hardest one to forget, because she was such a beautiful and sweet woman. She always gave all of us her signature smile, no matter what she's been through in her life. That smile shines brighter than a LED light. My brother seems to have it the hardest, because I believe when he watch our M O T H E R get buried, he never got over see it happen. I wished he wouldn't have saw that happen. He is experiencing a hard time right now as I post. 

My twin sister on the other hand; she don't want me to mention our M O T H E R until she does, because...she seems to have days where she is thinking of our M O T H E R constantly without a break. She get headaches every time our M O T H E R is mentioned, and that can cause her to have seizures at any moment. Sherri wants to be the one that mentions our M O T H E R when she feels the notion to do so. I have my days when I just start crying when I have a memory of my M O T H E R out of the blue come upon me. It's so hard on me some times I cry out of control. 

I have problems with my blood pressure shooting up every time I have an episode. I also find that my niece and nephews have that time in their lives where my M O T H E R (their grandmother) come across their minds. They cry out of control! Even the littlest of people in my family have their days too. No matter how young a person is, my M O T H E R had a greater affect on them. 

She left her mark with us, and it would be with us for the rest of our natural lives. Sherri and I would work in our vegetable and herb garden, and all we think about is our parents. We talk to them when we go out and work in our garden, our F A T H E R mostly, because he is part of the reason why we can grow a lot of things. Our F A T H E R farmed in his days, and he did quite well with it. "It was his passion, as it is for us." 

Sherri and I talk mostly to him when we are gardening. Our sister in law Neyome, she helps keep all of sane. She is a total GODSEND by GOD and his son JESUS Christ. Neyome is a beautiful soul indeed. Our family in Canada my M O T H E R also had quite an affect on them when she traveled there during the winter season. 

Parents have an amazing affect on everyone lives when they are no longer a part of the equation. If anyone has experienced otherwise, you would know especially how we feel as a family. 

Broken With Sentimental Value

 Book 191 - Special Edition Post 

Psalms 147:3 - 3. He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.

How can anyone break something so "Sentimental" to us? This was a heart that wasn't meant to be broken for 8 years past its expiration date. Then you have someone at the cemetery where my M O T H E R is buried, brake what was sentimental and precious to me and the rest the family. "What does it take for someone to care about someone's property?" Maybe so...that one day, someone will care about the dead in GOD and his son JESUS, and the family who gave great thought in placing a "heart" that was beautifully engraved with the most beautiful name in the world to me, Ruth Ann Brunson. 

I was so hurt when I saw my M O T H E R S broken heart solar light when my brother in law Lorenzo brought from the cemetery. I got to admit, I was pretty upset with the cemetery grounds keeper for breaking my M O T H E R S heart solar light. He said, "That there was to be nothing stuck in the grounds of the cemetery as he mowed the ground" and common sense would of told him to pick up the solar and place it on top of my M O T H E R S vault; my family and I would of understood more without all the animosity that came with broken hearts that crumbled into reality. My family and I can't fix what was broken, or its past that was so sentimental to us. We are owed an explanation and that's all that there was to it. 

My brother Wesley suggested that he would have a talk with the cemetery grounds keeper about my M O T H E R S broken heart solar light. I gave in my two cents to sum of the cause for Wesley to relay the message. I don't mean to be upset with the cemetery grounds keeper, but...I had a reason to be with every ounce in my body, heart and soul without tooT my haste. I questioned the thought. I said...and I quote, "What if...and I meant what if someone were to brake something that was sentimental to him?" 

Should this man cry wolf? I thought not! Because...when it came to our property value of my M O T H E R S broken heart solar light, I think that the cemetery grounds keeper should pay my family and I for our grief by saying "sorry" for the inconvenience, because... GOD know he wasn't going to pay us back for what broken in the base of our minds and in our hearts. My M O T H E R S solar hear can be replaced, but...my family I chose not too for its expensive, just it case it gets broken again. We did not want that fate on our conscience again with haste. All we want is peaceful beginnings as we move on with our lives as we see fit. 

I Am A Day Dreamer

 Book 190

I am a day dreamer; I am a dreamer of GOD and his son JESUS. I am a day dreamer when comes to my M O T H E R. I miss the ole girlfriends with all of my heart. She still fresh in my mind, in my heart, my soul, as I am part of her body she bore. My M O T H E R is in the hands of GOD and his son JESUS. She is without pain; she is not crying out of pain; no more dialysis for her to cleanse her blood. 

My M O T H E R is smiling with joy, nothing else in this this lifetime will make her sad with despair. She is living life in Heaven grand and Heaven I do worry to much about my M O T H E R, because I know that she is in perfect hands. My only problem is that I can't remove the thoughts of her presents here on earth. I would want her to return to despair, because her life is better where she is. My M O T H E R is living inside me through day dreams that keeps repeating day in and day out. 

She is hard to forget, because of the amount of love I still have for her. Memories from this "Legend of Love" will never faulter my mind, because she will always live in my heart strongly and boldly without an ounce of despair interfering with my thoughts of my M O T H E R. She is a legend of love by her own accord, because she touched so many lives every where she turned. A 360 degree circumference; she completes one full circle of her lifetime. It is now complete. 

My M O T H E R S journey is complete upon this earth. She earned her wings of faith, of love, and endurance. I can't touch that until I make it to Heaven. I am working on my life so that I see my M O T H E R again beyond this lifetime. 🕊 M O T H E R...rest well in the hands of GOD and his son JESUS, and of the kingdom of Heaven, where she will spend eternity. 🕊

What Sow...Sow Shall I Reap

 Book 185 - Special Edition Post

Luke 6:38 - 38. Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.

Galatians 6:8 - 8. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. 

2 Corinthians 9:6 - 6. But this I say, He which sleety sparingly shall reap also sparingly and he which sleety bountiful my shall reap also bountifully.

  

I wrote a letter in memory of my parents. I mostly wrote about my M O T H E R and my indiscretions I had against her when she was alive. Now...I reap what I sow through my son Zachary. I deserve what GOD and his son JESUS raft which is inflicted on me. I am going to take it, because I deserve it for the way I treated my M O T H E R. She continue to love me so much. Before she left me, she was at peace, and she forgave me with peace. I asked GOD and his son JESUS for forgiveness for my M O T H E R, and now, I am at peace.

My letter as it reads: 

I have issues dealing with the death of my parents. I know in my heart that my F AT H E R was the most important key to my existence, but...my M O T H E R was a different form of importance. She was the one who gave me life; she was the one who provided me comfort and with the knowledge to do so. She was my hover over me when things got bad. She made sure I was alright, along with my F A T H E R say in this. She made sure I had everything I needed to live in this world. Along with my F A T H E R, my M O T H E R was my safety net without confusion of what to do next. 

I have been taught by the best of the best. I have nothing but memories of my parents. Those memories continued with rules and regulations; the law of GOD and his son JESUS put into my parents hearts to instill it in me, so that I could learn from my mistakes if there were any. I can say right now, that I appreciate everything that my parents did for me when they were alive and well. I had a few bad patches with my M O T H E R I never got a chance to apologize to her about. Yes, I was a bad person only by choice at the time. 

I use to bad mouth my M O T H E R. My sister would tell me all the time, "To never talk to our M O T H E R like I did, and I did it anyway." But...my M O T H E R kept loving me even though, and she just kept smiling, never letting what I did bother her. In her heart, mind, body, and soul, she had already forgiven me for what I done to her. My M O T H E R was at peace through GOD and his son JESUS almighty. She had already forgiven me for all of indiscretions. I live through my reaping everyday through my son Zachary. 

He was so rebellious to me. He talks back to me just as I did my M O T H E R. Zachary did what he wanted and still doing what he wants just as I did my M O T H E R. He yells and screams at me just as I did to my M O T H E R. "I get it now!" I get it. What I sow...sow shall I reap. 

My reaping days is here in a ten fold through my son Zachary. He is totally letting me have it! Now I have the memory of my M O T H E R telling me so. She told me numerous times that everything I did to her was going to come back to me. It's here and it is ten times worst than I imagined for the way I treated her. I did love my M O T H E R with every breath I took and with every ounce of strength I had in my body, but...I didn't show her at the time when I treated her wrong when she was living on this earth. 

But...she forgave me before she she left me. Then...I asked GOD and his son JESUS to forgive me for what I did to my M O T H E R, and everything she had been through with me. I was totally amber to my F A T H E R, but...my M O T H E R rode the storm with me, my F A T H E R, and everyone else who did her wrong, and she just kept smiling to the four winds. I can say this with comfort, and with peace in my heart, "GOD and his son JESUS has forgiven me for my M O T H E R, and my M O T H E R has forgiven me through GOD and his on JESUS." 

I can say and continuously say, "I am at peace with it and myself included. I love you M O T H E R, I love you F A T H E R. Rest well.with the angels.

An Author's Successful Journey

 Book 184

Joshua 1:8 - 8. This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according g to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt .and thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have success. 

What good webs I weave into existence. My son Zachary and I lives are about to change forever, certainly with GOD and his son JESUS ahead of all the things Zachary and I are about to do. It is a big deal for me, because I have never experienced anything like having a movie adapted from my first book, "The Minorities, The Pilot". The right of course; from my book will be asked in permission to script my book at its entirety. I for one will be giving that permission to the production companies that are interested in my work. 

There are two production companies: Chad Conley Productions and Kaoticklone Productions. I am beyond excited and totally blessed to have those production company's interest in my work. I know that I am patient in waiting for both production companies to ask for the rights of my book, so that " The Minorities, Pilot can be produced. I know in fact that my F A T H E R and M O T H E R would be happy if they could see my potential success, but...in memory of my parents, I know that they are proud of me. 🕊 My GOD and his son JESUS...may they rest in peace. 🕊

GOD and his JESUS has blessed me so much in my life. I should have saw all the blessings that my pilots have dwelled throughout the extent of my life. I am no longer blind to see what GOD and his son JESUS has been giving me. The gift of writing has led me into a world I never thought existed. It's no longer a fantasy to me. 

This is for real! A movie adaptation is not just fun and game. It's coming to my presence and its journey into the future. Hallelujah... praise GOD and his son JESUS for giving me the opportunity to shine like the mirror I can look into completely without a smudge or streak. Hallelujah...praise GOD for giving me this chance for an opportunity of a lifetime. My F A T H E R and M O T H E R would have been totally proud to see me make a difference, not only for myself, but...for my son Zachary as well.

Giving Success To GOD And His Son JESUS Almighty

 Book 182 - Special Edition Video

Hebrews 10:36 - 36. For ye have need of patience, that after ye have done the will of GOD, ye might receive the promise. 

Genesis 39:2-3 - 2. And the LORD was with joseph, and he was a prosperous man; and he was in the house of his master the Egyptian. 3. And his master saw that the LORD was with him, and that the LORD made all that he did to prosper in his hand. 

I did an interview with my sister-in-law Neyome live, so that I could get people to donate to my Go Fund Me site. So far, no people donated to my Go Fund Me site! What I am going to do is put my Go Fund Me site in the hands of GOD and his son JESUS. They know all about what I have to do to get my screenplay in to production with the producers of Chad Conley Productions. This is what my post is all about, trying to get people to donate to my Go Fund Me site.

I am not going to worry no more about it! I am going to leave my fundraiser in the hands of my pilots. That is all I could do to get people in general to pay attention. GOD and his son JESUS is good all the time no matter what the cause, or situation is. I know in my heart I am going to raise the $4,000 dollars needed for one half of the screenplay and my screenwriter will take care of the rest. Brett Johnson (screenwriter) has given me two months to come up with the funds so that he could start my campaign. 

I am asking that everyone here who views my post will give towards my Go Fund Me site. I am praying for that to happen, because I am dedicating the cause to my parents: Ruth Ann Thomas Brunson (M O T H E R) and my (F A T H E R) Wesley Brunson Sr. I very much want to make them proud of my accomplishment. By GOD and his son JESUS almighty, let it be real; let me be able to raise the $4,000 dollars needed to cover half the cost of my screenplay. I am going to continue to leave my fundraiser in the hands of my pilots.

Our M O T H E R: Riding The Storm

 Book 180 - Special Edition Post 

2 Corinthians 1:6 - 6. And whether we be afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effectual in the enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer: or whether we be comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation. 

Psalms 19:9 - 9. The fear of the LORD is clean, enduring for ever: the judgements of the LORD are true and righteous altogether. 

When I write this post, I think of my M O T H E R and everything she has been through in her life. That's almost three scores and ten years before, she was called home to glory! How can anyone began to know the Hades she went through? Requiring minds want to know about the evil that was casted upon my M O T H E R S sweet soul. I can't forget the time when my F A T H E R was in the hospital for his stage four cirrhosis of the liver.

I remember he was having a hard time dealing with the pain of his disease. At the time, everyone one was there visiting him; my aunts Curline, Minnie Lou (The one that had Power of Attorney over my F A T H E R S life), Tammy, uncles Carl and Alfonzo, and his nieces and nephews. My M O T H E R S came, in support of my F A T H E R, since they were separated. I remember when my M O T H E R was on the side of his bed in a wheelchair, and she asked my F A T H E R, how he was doing? He told her right in front of everyone to, "Get out of his room!"

What my F A T H E R said to my M O T H E R, truly embarrassed her in front of everyone there in his hospital room. I looked over at my M O T H E R, and she had this look of disbelief; A shocking experience to know that my F A T H E R deceived her in a way that was unfounded. My niece Octavia looked over at her grandfather, and she became was angry with my with him at that peculiar moment. She walked over to my M O T H E R (her grandmother) and rolled her in her wheelchair chair; out of my F A T H E R S hospital room to a near by waiting room. Sherri, my twin sister followed her daughter Octavia and our M O T H E R to the waiting room. 

They never returned! I had stayed behind, because I wanted to ask my F A T H E R, "Why he disgrace my M O T H E R the way he did in front of everyone?" I was angry with my F A T H E R. He had no right to do what he did to my M O T H E R; embarrassing her like that in front of everyone there. I can only remember it as a bad memory against my M O T H E R. 

She was depressed for quite some time over my F A T H E R S indiscretion over what occurred that day. But, my M O T H E R...in the midst of her depression, kept a smile on her face, even though...she was hurting inside from my F A T H E R S deception. I remember a time when my F A T H E R first went out on my M O T H E R in an adulterous affair. It was Christmas Day. My M O T H E R, Sherri's boyfriend Lorenzo at the time; now husband, my brother Wesley Jr., and I had been at a party that my uncle Carl and aunt Tammy had hosted. 

My F A T H E R had left the party early. My M O T H E R noticed. Before reality came crashing down on my M O T H E R, she was told by an anonymous source that my F A T H E R was seen at this woman's house prior to my M O T H E R blinded fate that her husband was cheating on her. Wesley Jr., Sherri and Lorenzo, my M O T H E R, and I decided to leave the Christmas party with directions given to us from our anonymous source. It was after twelve midnight! In my M O T H E R S hands was  my  F A T H E R S location.

It was totally hard to fathom at first, what my M O T H E R was about to experience, as we travelled at a moderate pace of speed. We were in no hurry to find the deception of my F A T H E R S indiscretions. We took our time enroute to this woman of despair and my F A T H E R in the center of it. It took over forty for Wesley Jr., Sherri and Lorenzo, my M O T H E R, and I to arrive at this woman's house. My M O T H E R did not hesitate as she got out of car; she walked up to the front door as we (her children) and Lorenzo looked on. 

My M O T H E R knocked, and the woman answered the door. My M O T H E R looked, and she saw my F A T H E R sitting on the sofa (as my M O T H E R stated) "Without a care in the world", and then my F A T H E R raced out behind my M O T H E R as she was fiercely in tears. My F A T H E R said, "Now you know" like....he did not care about my M O T H E R S feelings at all. Wesley Jr., Sherri and Lorenzo, my  M O T H E R, and I did not waste anytime leaving the premises. 

The early morning after Christmas Day, I remembered it as a particularly bad memory, not even for me, but...especially for my M O T H E R to carry the deception of my F A T H E R S indiscretion into heart, mind, body, and soul. My M O TH E R cried of many days after she caught my F A T H E R cheating on her. She even had to leave the state to clear her head, but...my M O T H E R always kept a smile on her face, and a totally awesome spirit, no matter what storm comes her way of a hurricane. My F A T H E R S deception continued until the day, thirty plus years later, divorce papers were sent by a police officer to my M O T H E R S  front door. That's when the chain of events came crashing down on all of us. 

My F A T H E R had began planning for the end of his life, with the help of his oldest sister, Minnie Lou. I would always believe she had those divorce papers written up for my F A T H E R for a reason, and it was all health wise and financial. I remember a day before my F A T H E R was admitted to the hospital, that he came out to the house with papers in hand. I met him at the end of the drive way that day. He was trying to get my M O T H E R to sign some papers, including the divorce papers. 

I asked my F A T H E R was he okay. He said, "I am fine for now." As we were walking up the driveway, my F A T H E R was talking about the papers and how my M O T H E R used a credit card he had to file for divorce. The credit card was maxed out. I told my F A T H E R that he wasn't going into the house he built to confront my M O T H E R about those papers, because I knew that the papers he had was something that was against my M O T H E R, and I wasn't going to let him go inside the house to stir up chaos. 

Then, all of a sudden, my F A T H E R said something that disturbed my until this day. He said, "I know that you M O T H E R hopes I die of cancer." I asked him, "You got cancer?" My F A T H E R never answered me like...wow...why would he said that, and I question it, and he doesn't answer me? At that particular moment, I most definitely did not let him go inside the house to confront my M O T H E R. 

I didn't want any chaos between them. That was a memory that disturbed me so much; I often wondered on the top of things, "Did my F A T H E R have cancer on top of his liver disease, since my ex aunt Minnie Lou had Power of Attorney of his life instead of my M O T  H E R having that power if something was to happen to my F A T H E R?" I thought of my M O T H E R and how she felt over everything that has happened to her with my F A T H E R and his siblings going against her with every ounce of deception they had against my M O T H E R? But, my M O T H E R kept smiling no matter what, even though, she was hurting inside. I knew this! 

My M O T H E R has been through a lot in the 70 years of her life. The first twenty-five years of her life was good (she told me) and the rest of her life came crashing down on her. Instead, she kept smiling and loving her enemies (my extended family members) no matter what. My M O T H E R was a "Legend of Love" and she took that with her to her grave. My M O T H E R rode the storm with every obstacle thrown her way.

She didn't let anything bring her sweet spirit down all the way, but she had the strength to continue riding the storm, and I will always remember that about my M O T H E R. I think of what my M O T H E R went through, and I cry about it every now and then when I look at my pillow with her picture on it. I forgave my F A T H E R for everything he did to my M O T H E R, but...I would never forget what he did to my M O T H E R no matter what. She was a strong woman in a frail body. I can't imagine the strength she had to endure everything that has happened to her. I thank GOD and his son JESUS that my M O T H E R will never have to endure pain or crying again, because she is with our maker in Heaven. 

I am happy about that!  

Christmastime Memories Of My Parents

 Book 179

Isaiah 7:14 - 14. Therefore the LORD give you a sign; Behold A virgin shall conceive, and bear A son, and shall call his name Immanuel

Luke 2:11 - 11. For unto you is born this day in the city of David, A Saviour, which is Christ the LORD. 

My twin sister Sherri and I decided to decorate two small Christmas trees for each parent so that we can take them to their grave sites. There were also two identical vases to put on the bases of their tombstones. Sherri and I both dread going out to our parents grave sites, because it was too painful for us to fathom their deaths to reality. It was especially hard us bare that reality. Time must move on with only the memories we will carry of our F A T H E R and M O T H E R.

The small Christmas was decorated and ready to be placed on each of our parents grave sites. Yet, we were still dreading that moment when we would actually have to go out to the grave sites and place both small Christmas trees and their vases. My brother-in-law Lorenzo decided to come along for the ride for support. Since we were more close to the grave site of my M O T H E R S, Lorenzo, Sherri, my son Zachary, my great nephews Christian and Justin Jr. went to my M O T H E R S grave site first. Sherri and I was totally emotional as we headed towards the graveyard to our M O T H E R S eternal resting place. 

All of a sudden, Sherri and I cried out when we came upon and looked over at our M O T H E R S grave site. With our eyes so full of tear drops, my brother-in-law Lorenzo drove up beside our M O T H E R S grave, and Sherri and I got out of the SUV on the passenger side where our M O T H E R grave site was located. Sherri and I was so shaken up with grief, we stood there crying out for our M O T H E R and calling out to her. It took us less than two minutes tops to do what we came out to our M O T H E R S grave site for. Afterwards, we began placing our M O T H E R S heart shaped solar light on the right side of her tombstone facing us, and then place the Christmas tree on top of her vault. Sherri and I had to anchor it to keep it in place in case of a windy day. 

The other flowers that were there we place on each side of our M O T H E R S vault so that the small Christmas tree would stand out. The vase of flowers we placed on top of her vase, praying that a strong wind will not blow it off. After Sherri and I were finished placing the vase and the small Christmas tree, we took so pictures of our M O T H E R S grave decorated full from our hearts and souls. We stood there starring with our eyes full of tear drops once again until we loaded up the SUV. It was on to my F A T H E R S grave site.

Another emotional vendetta Sherri and I had to deal with. Our eyes continued to be filled with our tear drops as we went...I'll say over 5 to 6 miles to my F A T H E R S grave site to place his small Christmas tree and flower vase onto his tombstone. As Lorenzo, Sherri, my son Zachary, Christian, and Justin Jr. arrived at the grave site of my F A T H E R, Sherri, the boys, and I got out on the passenger side of the SUV; walked around and proceeded to my F A T H E R S grave site. Sherri had to tear the base part of the small Christmas tree apart, because we could not place the tree on the ground due to the graveyard was  privately owned and it's grounds keepers try and keep the graveyard cleaned. So, with that said, Sherri could not place our F A T H E R S solar light in the ground in front of his tombstone. After Sherri took off the base of the Christmas tree, I put the tree into our F A T H E R S vase so tightly that the wind could not blow it out of the vase, as though we were hoping that wind would not blow the Christmas tree out of its vase. 

We then place my F A T H E R S small flower vase on the base of the tombstone, hoping that will not blow off from a strong wind. It was heavy enough to withstand a strong dose of wind. Our decoration of our parents graves were completed. Sherri and I started taking pictures of our F A T H E R S decorated tombstone. We stood for minutes looking at our work and thinking of our F A T H E R, before Sherri, the boys and I got into the SUV to depart the graveyard. 

Our duties when it came to our parent was done. Sherri and I was still full of emotions that our parents will not be with us for Christmas, but...will remain in our spirit and our hearts. We will have nothing but awesome memories of our parents. F A T H E R and M O T H E R can now rest during their Heavenly holiday. 

Dealing With Consequences And Repercussions

 Book 173

Galatians 6:7 - 8 - 7. Be not deceived; GOD is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. 8. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the spirit shall of the spirit reap life everlasting. 

Romans 6:23 - 23. For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of GOD is eternal life through JESUS Christ our LORD. 

1 John 1:9 - 9. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 

I find myself in deep thought about my M O T H E R and all the things I did to her when she was living. I know I'm reaping the consequences of my actions, and the repercussions on how I really treated her when things were so bad during a brief period of time in my life. M O T H E R tried to tell me some things to abide by and to take heed to, but...I would not listen to some of the things she warned me about according to what effect it will have on my life. I know that I'm paying for it and then some. My M O T H E R thought I hated her because of her outbursts towards me, being that she was just a old woman set in her way.  

I should of taken the fact to heart that my M O T H E R was just an old woman set in her way of things and I never should have been so hard on her. I had a attitude problem, I admit that! I needed to straighten that in order to be humble towards my M O T H E R when she had one of her outbursts. When I think of her, sometimes I just want her to argue with me about anything. That's how much I miss her knowing that I would never have the luxury of a M O T H E R in her mortal body again. I can only have her in spirit and in my memory. 

I can wish that everyone who still have their M O T H E R will treat her like a Q U E E N. I challenge that with everyone who still have their M O T H E R. It is a hard thing to go through life without my M O T H E R, because...she was the root of all things that mattered to me. I just miss her so much and I can't seem to come to reality of her death. That is a hard thing to do when it comes to having a M O T H E R who really have been there for me and my siblings through thick and thin and still...she landed on her feet when she got tripped up by anyone who would always keep her unbalanced. This is why the death of my M O T H E R is eating me up. With all the things I did in my past, it has come back to haunt me in a way it keeps me in tears. 

This is my season for reaping and sowing for my actions. I am suffering the consequences and the repercussions of my actions. This is by the rules and regulations of GOD when he wrote the Ten Commandments; the fifth commandment: Exodus 20:12 - Honor thy Father and thy Mother that thy days will be longer upon the earth in which the LORD thy GOD giveth thee. I now think about that commandment knowing that my M O T H E R and F A T H E R is not here anymore, it is instilled in my heart forever. It is a commandment that I would always abide by and learn from.

The Pain Seems To Never Go Away

 Book 171

Revelation 21:4 - 4. And GOD shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

I don't think I will never get over the death of my M O T H E R as well as my F A T H E R. It is too hard to bare to even think about giving them up. I know in my heart that my pain will get better as the years go by without an ounce of forgetting that they were my parents. It is so hard on me when I heard that my M O T H E R had passed away for 45 minutes on that day of August 8. She was revived, because...the doctors and nursed did not have our permission not to revive her. I had wished that the doctor's and nurse's at that particular moment would of let my M O T H E R go so that she would not have any pain from her body hurting, or going through dialysis, no more sorrow, or crying again.

My sister Sherri, brother Wesley, and I needed to give that permission not to resuscitate our M O T H E R. That was the hardest thing that we ever had to do is to give that order. Sherri, Wesley, and I did not want our M O T H E R to suffer anymore than she had to. The order was given by my self to not resuscitate our M O T H E R, because...we as our own family unit did not want our M O T H E R to suffer. That was the reason when I went to the hospital that day on the 8th of August to make that decision to sign what took me ten minutes or more to sign those papers to remove the ventilator, the medicines that my M O T H E R  was hooked up to, and the compressors around her legs and arms. 

I did not want to stay and watch that after I signed the papers. I had the nurses assistant to remove me from the ICU (Intensive Care Unit) before they removed everything away from my M O T H E R, because...it would of been too painful to watch. I was on a journey with my sadness. I was wheeled in a wheelchair, because...I could not walk up to see my M O T H E R in ICU. I was wheeled all the way to my car and helped into it. My niece Ta'Neisha did the driving for me, because...I was not able to drive not even a little bit due to my grief. 

After the drive...I was met with Sherri, her husband Lorenzo, Wesley and his wife Neyome that day so that we all could wait for that phone call in grief about my M O T H E R S passing and to ask us what funeral home we wanted to place my M O T H E R in. That was so hard to do; it was hard on all of us to wait around for my M O T H E R S passing during the awful pandemic COVID 19 virus. It took only an hour after I came from seeing my M O T H E R in the hospital for the call to come through about her passing. My entire immediate family cried without the reluctance of shedding tears. Those tears were ever so real in our hearts for our M O T H E R. 

I would never forget that day of my family's grief. I was totally hard not grieve for the "Queen" who has given us so much love, so much comfort as my F A T H E R did as well. The pain will never go away from us no matter what we do or say. It will be hard to do even if Sherri, Wesley, and I and the rest of the family. I was only the start of a very long process for years to come. 

Memories of a M O T H E R

 Book 170

Copyright © 2020 By Author:Terri Celestine Brunson. All Rights Reserved

Synopsis:  This post is totally personal to me. I felt I had to write and tell everyone how I feel when it comes to losing my M O T H E R. It is about love, grief, and pain. I pray I can someday be eased of the pain I feel and move on with my life. 

Ephesians 6:1 - 24 - 1. Children, obey your parents in the LORD for this is right. 2. Honor they father and mother which is the first commandment with promise. 3. That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. 4. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the LORD. 5. Servants, be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh, with fear trembling in the singleness of your heart , as unto Christ. 6. Not with eyeserivice, as menpleasers; but as the servants of Christ doing the will of GOD from the heart. 7. With good will doing service, as to the LORD and not to men. 8. Knowing that whatsoever good thing any man doeth, the same shall he receive of the LORD whether he be bond or free. 9. And ye masters, do the same things unto them, forbearing threatening: knowing that your master also is in Heaven; neither is there respect of persons with him. 10. Finally, my brethren, be strong in the LORD and in the power of his might. 11. Put on the whole armour of GOD, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. 13. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of GOD, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. 14. Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the brestplate of righteousness; 15. And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace: 16. Above all, taking the shield of fatih, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. 17. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword the spirit which is the word of GOD. 18. Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the spirit and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints; 19. And for me, that utterance may be given unto me, that I may open my mouth boldly, to make know the mystery of the gospel. 20. For which I am an ambassador in bonds: that therein I may speak boldly as I ought to speak. 21. But that ye also may know my affairs, and how I do, Tychicus a beloved brother and faithful minster in the LORD, shall make know to you all things. 22. Whom I have sent unto you for the same purpose, that ye might know our affairs, and that he might comfort your hearts. 23. Peace be to the brethren and love with faith from GOD the Father and the LORD Jesus Christ. 24. Grace be with all them that love our LORD JESUS Christ in sincerity. Amen (To the Ephesians written from Rome, by Tychicus) 

No one could never replace my M O T H E R. My feelings are mutual when it comes to her. It was hard to see her without life in her body, but... to know that her soul is in Heaven, I know it! My M O T H E R was a "Legion of Love" and she was loved by everyone, known or unknown. She carried that sweet heart and sweet spirit everywhere she went.

When my M O T H E R went to glory on August 8, 2020, part of me went with her. It is hard to imagine life without my "Queen" but...with the help of GOD and his son JESUS, she helped guide me on the right path of righteousness. I acknowledge that very much to everyone who reads this post. My M O T H E R did so much for me, I can never repay her for what she has done for me in my lifetime. I miss times when me, my twin sister Sherri and I went to her favorite store "Ross." She would go into that store and get buried in the clothes in a heartbeat, while searching for that one dress to add to her collection of many dresses she had in her closet. 

Two hours she is in the store, while Sherri and I try to pull her out of the clothes. That was hard to do of course! But...Sherri and I let our M O T H E R shop as long as wanted to satisfy her needs to find a dress, or several dresses she wanted for church. My M O T H E R always shopped for a dress for church and other occasions that she was considering taking part of. She loved to shop that is all I got to say for a woman who dressed to perfection. 

I miss the times whenever Sherri, her husband Lorenzo, my son Zachary, and I would take a stroll in Lorenzo's SUV and we would go to Walmart, or to the Wawa, the fish market to buy fresh fish, or just riding around until the sunset over the horizon, my M O T H E R would always be in tow, no matter what. She was never left home...never! My M O T H E R was never lonely; never wanting to be alone. She basically rode all over the globe, especially when it came to traveling regional and international. My M O T H E R was ready and willing to travel with her suitcases already packed. I will miss that time with my M O T H E R the most. 

She loved hanging out with her classmates; since, she was on the executive board with planning Social gatherings: Banquets, Christmas Party's, Breakfasts celebration at the Recreation Center, or just getting  together with her classmates communicating about things that they loved and cherish. Either me, or Sherri would take our M O T H E R to these events. We never mind it at all, because...that was our M O T H E R. My thought...whatever benefits her enjoyment, Sherri and I made sure she had the luxury of getting there and having a awesome time at each event. 

My M O T H E R never quit, no matter how she felt being on dialysis, having diabetes, or feeling a little faint, that 70 year old woman would always push herself to beat all odds no matter how she was really feeling. I admired her strength totally in my heart. There were days when I thought I would not make it, and my M O T H E R was kicking boldly the rocks at full speed. I found myself honored and proud to have had "Mrs. Ruth Ann Thomas-Brunson" as my M O T H E R. My thoughts are totally clear when I carry this monologue I had about my M O T H E R. 

I can talk about her all day and stretching it out to the four winds of faith and peace when it came putting all my love I had for my M O T H E R, and still I still have that unconditional love for her in the grave. Everyone...love your M O T H E R unconditionally, because...once she gone, she is gone. You lose your whole word in a heartbeat. You cannot replace the "Queen" ever! She is the only one that bore you, nursed you, work almost 24 hours a day, sometimes without rest, gave love unconditionally. Everyone, love you M O T H E R while she is still on this earth, because...you will never get another M O T H E R in your lifetime. 

Our Legend Of Love Has Gone To Glory

Book 169

Copyright © 2020 by Author Terri Celestine Brunson

1 Thessalonians 4:13 - 14 - 13. But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope. 14. For if we believe that JESUS died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in JESUS will GOD bring with him. 

1 Thessalonians 5:23 - 23. And the very GOD of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray GOD your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our LORD JESUS Christ. 

Romans 14:8 - 8. For whether we live, we live unto the LORD; and whether we die, we die unto the LORD; whether we live therefore, or die, we are the LORD'S

Revelation 21:3 - 3. And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, behold the tabernacle of GOD is with men and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people and GOD himself shall be with them, and be their GOD. 

Synopsis:  This is a post that I will always hold dear to me and to my heart forever. My "Queen" is gone to GLORY! I want every one who reads this post to know that my M O T H E R was everything to me. This post will give who is viewing an idea of how much I loved my Queen. She was my entire world. 

I never got chance to tell my M O T H E R every thing I wanted to tell her before she passed away. I had so much to say to her. I had some things that I have done in my life to her that I wanted to apologize to her. I was not all bad about a lot of things I did in my life, but...there were some things that I have done to her that I wanted to apologize. I had this attitude about myself that I wanted to set straight with my M O T H E R. 

So, I went to South Florida Baptist Hospital where my M O T H E R  resided for almost two months.  I demanded that I see my M O T H E R in spite the COVID19. I was wearing a mask, but...I was determined to see her face to face so that I could tell her how I felt. Earlier that day as I give a timeline of what happened before I could give my apology, my M O T H E R had a cardiac attack during her Dialysis. She had died for 45 minutes, before she was revived. She had already a stroke two months before. 

But...with all that happened to her and being on a ventilator (life support) not breathing on her own, and being in a coma, I prayed that she could hear me even though when I apologized to her. I was wheelchair bound and on my way to my M O T H E R S room. I could not walk because I was so weak and numb dreading to see my M O T H E R in the state she was in. I arrived to my M O T H E R S room not knowing what to really expect. I saw my M O T H E R on a ventilator, wires were embedded into her neck and bags of fluids going into her veins. 

The nurses who were taking care of my M O T H E R had turned her towards me so that I could see her, because...I was not allowed to go into the room to see her, touch her, hug her, or kiss her, because...of the COVID19 virus had taken over every one's lives. I sat there in that wheelchair and I stared at my M O T H E R with tears in my eyes. It was a sight to see her hook up to everything I could think of her being hooked up to. She was not breathing on her own or responding to anything. My thoughts were, "I did not want to see my M O T H E R like she was and I wanted everything that she was hooked to taken off of her immediately."  

It was like, "I did not want to see my M O T H E R suffering anymore, because...she suffered enough throughout. She had a good 22 years since she had her magic kidneys and then after her kidneys shut down she been off and on Dialysis and that she had been in and out of the hospital." I knew that my M O T H E R would of wanted to be taken off of what was keeping her alive. Before I decided, I apologized to my M O T H E R for everything I did to her. I apologize for always yelling at my M O T H E R. I apologize for always trying to be right when I knew I was wrong for everything I done to upset my M O T H E R. I apologized for not being the daughter she wanted me to be. 

"In my heart, I know she heard my apology." I think about the times I did those things to my M O T H E R, all I be is ashamed of what I was to her. I cannot get back from my M O T H E R of what I should of been to her as her daughter in the first place. I got to live with that! I told my M O T H E R that I loved her unconditionally. 

And then...I made the hardest decision I had to make concerning my M O T H E R S fate." It took me 10 minutes to fill out the papers to remove the ventilator and all the bags of medications my mother was hooked to. I hesitated as I looked at my M O T H E R with tears in my eyes and then...I signed and I did not know how I signed, because...I had so many tears in my eyes. I was the last one to see my M O T H E R before I had the male nurse to take me away from my M O T H E R S hospital room, because...I did not want to see her nurses remove the ventilator or any of the medications she was hooked to. I would of been too painful to me. 

I was taken to my car by wheelchair, because...I was too numb to walk. As I looked back at the hospital, I wondered how long it would of taken after the ventilator and all the medicines and wires were taken off of my M O T H E R before she passed away peacefully, because...my M O T H E R looked like she was in total peace the last I saw of her. From the time I left the hospital, it was a little after 4:00 pm. It took almost 2 hours; my M O T H E R passed away very peacefully. She was in no more pain; she was not suffering; no more crying, no more Dialysis, no more in and out of the hospital. 

My M O T H E R was gone to GLORY! My sister Sherri, my brother Wesley, and I had to let our M O T H E R go, because...we did not want her to suffer anymore in her lifetime. We wanted her to have a wonderful life in Heaven as she lived a wonderful Christian life in the name of GOD and his son JESUS. Our M O T H E R was a beautiful woman in her FAITH and in her HEART. Especially...in love for every one known and unknown. "She was a Legend of Love!"

A Huge Bit Of Happiness

Book 165 - Special Edition Happiness Post

Ecclesiastes 3:12-13 - 12. I know that there is no good in them, but for a man to rejoice, and to do good in his life. 13. And also that every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labour, it is the gift of GOD. 

Ecclesiastes 7:14 - 14. In the day of prosperity be joyful, but in the day of adversity consider; GOD also hath set the one over against the other, to the end that man should find nothing after him. 

Isaiah 26:3-4 - 3. Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee; because he trusteth in thee. 4. For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil. to give you an expected end. 

Jeremiah 29:11 - 11. For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. 

This was what I wanted in a nutshell. Who wants to be sad about everything in their lives? I know that I have been through a lot of hardships in my life. In one instance, and I feel that I'm slightly healed from it was the death of my FATHER, but...not so much to the point I can say, "I'm completely healed." I would rather be happy about life, than to wallow in my grief for my FATHER. I am happy about an opportunity that I was introduced to.

I got a chance to make my book, "The Minorities" shine like a mirror. I got an opportunity to pitch my book to Hollywood Producers and I am totally excited about it. Who will get this chance of lifetime and throw it away? People in general ask questions about how much it cost to take that journey towards success. I do not care about the costs, even though I do not have the money to pay for my journey. 

But...I know GOD and his son JESUS will walk ahead of me in my journey towards pitching my book to Hollywood Producers. This was a one and a chance of a lifetime and I do not want to pass it up, even though I do not have all the funds I need to move on. GOD got my journey; he will provide for me through my journey! I know I have not been consistent with my tithes to the church, because of my hardships, but...hope that GOD and his son JESUS will take care of me every step of the way. I am determined to be happy, be glad, and be thankful to GOD and his son JESUS for bringing me thus far in my new career. 

I am very determined to make it, and not fake it. My opportunity is too important to let go. I thank GOD and his son JESUS for it. I am so happy and totally excited about my journey in pitching my book "The Minorities." I also have another book that I am getting ready to publish. I have already started the process in doing so. My sequel to The Minorities will also make its spot to be pitched by Hollywood Producers. 

I am on a roll with getting my book noticed worldwide and there is nothing that would stop me, but...GOD and his son JESUS, and I acknowledge that very much. I will make it and be successful.I feel in my faith, my trust, and confidence. I am getting ready to introduce my third book and I hope that it get picked up by Hollywood Producers as well. I am totally happy, proud of myself as I make this  journey and I will take  GOD and his JESUS with me all the way. 

Happiness Is Where The Heart Is

Book 164

2 Corinthians 13:11 - 11. Finally, brethren, farewell. Be perfect, be of good comfort, be of one mind, live in peace; and the GOD of love and peace shall be with you. 

Jude 1:2 - 2. Mercy unto you, and peace, and love, be multiplied. 


*Link to COVID19 is available in my post.

I'm getting ready to make my post be known by everyone who's viewing it. I find myself consistently walking on egg shells; and I'm listening to every crack those shells make as I walk into a depressive state in my life that I feel everyday. My niece gives me every reason to think this, because of the way she walks around the house, and not a word to me the whole time she's off her truck route. But...I decided to start ignoring those possibilities of being ignored by my niece, and move on with my life, until I find a place of my own with my son Zachary. I can't let my niece continue breaking my down to the point of being depressed all the time, and me, consistently walking on egg shells to her ignorance of me being the best aunt she could ever had, since I was the one who co-signed for her to go to trucking school.

I just got tired of being the cast off, and the ghost of the unknown, which would be the main reason why I'm writing this post. I want to move on from this, and not feeling sorry for myself, or someone else feeling sorry for me. I'm starting my day off with getting dressed, and ready for my day. I'm thinking about going over to my brother-in-law mother's house, because there is where I feel the happiest. No negatives allowed there!

I was glad of that! I'm a hop, skip, and a jump away of walking out the door to go and visit my brother-in-law, Lorenzo, my twin sister, Sherri, and my mother, Ruth, and the rest of the family. The journey over to my brother-in-law mother's house, took me through a time of happiness and joy for the first time in five months since my family and I moved in with my niece. About ten minutes later, I arrived at my brother-in-law's mother house with "polar pops" and snacks ready to start my day with my immediate family. Zachary and I were there not only for a family get together, we were there for a fish fry as well. I had to pitch in to by the fish for our fish fry.

My brother-in-law Lorenzo, my twin sister Sherri, my mother Ruth, my great niece Ta'Neisha, and my brother-in-law father Maxwell decided to go together to the fish market to buy fish. Our journey took at least thirty-minutes to forty minutes to reach our destination, depending on the traffic. As we arrived, we found a line outside of the fish market. With the COVID19 going on, for all of our safety, social distancing was the main priority to keep us all safely distant from one another. It was six persons at a time to enter into the fish market.

It took no more than fifteen minutes tops, for Lorenzo and I to enter into the fish market by escort. We had a very huge order; three pounds of tilapia, and five mullets pan fry and ready to go. I took about another twenty to twenty-five minutes for the prep guys inside to clean and prepare the fish. Lorenzo and I had to wait outside until the fish is cleaned and ready for me to pay and pick up the fish and four orders of imitation crab meat. After twenty-five minutes passed, Lorenzo and I entered the fish market by escort so that I can pay for and pick up our fish order. 

Afterwards...my family and I started our journey back to my brother-in-law's mother's house in time for our fish fry. It was the greatest time Zachary and I will ever have just spending time with immediate family, and having the grandest fish fry in the many months since we moved in with my niece. 

   

Walking Towards Redemption

Book 163

Proverbs 20:5 - 5. Counsel in the heart of man is like deep water, but...a man of understanding will draw it out. 

Psalms 69:14 - 14. Deliver me out of the more, and let me not sink: let me be delivered from them that hate me, and out of the deep waters. 

Caution: The identities of my niece and nephew are protected under the love I have for them. Readers discression advised! 


More likely, the force is with me in the matter of my status as a unloved aunt with a lot of emotions that has mentally engulped life as far as I saw it. Too much time has passed, and it seemed like nothing is getting better with my relationship with...especially my niece. My nephew on the other hand...still has mixed feelings about me, and the relationship is still a bit estranged in a whole lot of ways. They hardly talk to me about anything, no matter what that may be, they just don't talk to me period. They don't talk about their problems to me, nor do they give me a hint of what's going on in their lives.

What did I do to deserve such attitude? I know I've had some faults that I attend to address on my own, and with no fault of my own, but...will make available upon request. What I can suggest in the matter of my two silent parties (niece and nephew) is that I spot the complete ingredients of  selfishness, and a ton of non compassion for me from the both of them. I'm getting so tired of the silent, but...double silent drama. It has taken toll on my life as a mature adult who has been on the peak of the mountain, and I'm starting to climb down with a lot of caution that I don't get tripped up in my emotions that I feel.

What double webs are weaved several times over the doubts I feel? I questions it with a vengeance! And yet...I find myself in tears most of the time when I'm alone with these thoughts dancing around in my head. My steps are light as I continue to walk on egg shells when it comes to my niece and nephew's corrupt attitudes towards me. I know that someday, I will get answers, and why with my conscience they seem to carry this love/hate relationship with me.

My requiring mind really want to know why is this happening to me, after all I've done for my niece and nephew. And sometimes I wish that my twin sister and her husband would open their eyes and see the emotions I've dealt with concerning their children.