The Hummingbird Sounds Of A M O T H E R

 Book 202

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Proverbs 31:10 - 10. Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies.

There is not a day I don't think about my M O T H E R. It's so hard on me sometimes, knowing that she is gone up to glory. It's all good! My M O T H E R is in a better place in my heart. I hear her voice when speaking to me in a abundance of sweet sound of a hummingbird. 

I miss my M O T H E R so much no matter what I do, she is still gone forever. There is nothing I could do about it. I am amongst the living! I need to try and live the best way I know how. I have started my healing process with a mental health specialist. She's really good at what she does in order to help me with my grief. 

I can't forget her...ever! Even if she not living, I will always carry the memories of her in my heart. My M O T H E R  has given me those sweet melodies of a hummingbird. That in itself I will cherish the rest of my life. There is nothing else besides GOD and his son JESUS will ever take her place. 

Thoughts Of A Gentle Woman

 Book 201

1 Peter 3:9 - 9. Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing; but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.

Sherri went down to our M O T H E R S grave to check on things, and to see if anything was disturbed on the grave. So far so good, nothing was disturbed on the grave. Everything was intacted! I was truly glad of that. I wish that my sister would of let me know when she was going to our M O T H E R S grave. I would of liked to visit too. But...her visit put me into thought about the solar light that she ordered for our M O T H E R. Maybe that's why Sherri went out there, because personally, you couldn't get Sherri to go out to our M O T H E R S grave for anything, because of her thinking about her all the time without a break.

Lorenzo told me that Sherri took it rough out there while on their visit to M O T H E R S grave. As much as I think of the memories we shared with my M O T H E R, I don't think it would get any easier for us when it comes to the grieving process. Then, I think about Sherri and what she must be going through living so close to graveyard, and knowing that our M O T H E R is buried out there. She want her husband Lorenzo to move her away from being near the graveyard, even though she's almost quarter of a mile away from it. Sherri told me once that she would never be straight from our M O T H E R dying like she did with no one around her because of the pandemic back in 2020. 

I guess being as close as she is to the graveyard, I can truly understand why she feel the way she do about living so close. It has been hard on all of us as a very small version of our immediate family. Sherri, Wesley Jr. and I are all we have from our immediate family. I still wished that Sherri would of told me that she was visiting our M O T H E R. I wanted to go as long as someone was near, because I still can't go out into the graveyard on my own right now. I am so glad that everything was intact. Nothing was disturbed on my M O T H E R S grave and I am happy about that. 

What A Blessing To Receive In A Walker

 Book 200 - Special Edition Post - I thank you JESUS for my 200th Post

Ephesians 1:3 - 3. Blessed be the GOD and Father of our LORD Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly place in Christ.

Wow! I am so thankful to my LORD JESUS Christ for blessing me with a not new, but a used walker. I was just thinking about a walker on my way back home to the shelter I stay in for now until I get me and my son Zachary a place to stay. I could not believe what I saw in the door way of the shelter. There were three walkers and I have already chosen on of the walkers that would support my back most of all. It was like this particular walker was waiting on me to grab it just like the one in the picture above. I praised JESUS for the walker that was made for me, since I forgot my cane at my sister Sherri and brother in law Lorenzo's house. 

I feel my M O T H E R would of been proud to see a nice walker like the one I now own. I have been thinking of my M O T H E R a lot lately, my F A T H E R included. It's not a day I don't think about the both of them. My F A T H E R would of been proud to see the walker I have as well. I am going to practice folding it up and placing it inside my car for security. I can't wait to show my sister that fine walker with back support. 

It was just what I needed to be secure and comfortable. M O T H E R...F A T H E R, if there was anything in the world like the walker I have, I would of given it to either parent. The one that need it the most! Thank you JESUS for my fine used walker. I got it cleaned up and ready to go for it's first run.  

Thinking About M O T H E R S Day Blues

 Book 199

John 16:22 - 22. And ye now therefore have sorrow; but I will see you again, and your heart shall rejoice, and your joy no man taketh from you

 

It is still fresh in our hearts, our M O T H E R S death. Grief has no season according to our reality when it comes to our M O T H E R. Sherri, Wesley Jr. and I long for our M O T H E R each day of our lives, never letting go of her is a hard thing to do right at this very moment I...myself...think of her without a break. I remember when I spoke to my brother just a few days ago. His whole conversation was about our M O T H E R. He said, "She just came across my mind all of a sudden, and it hit me very heart to the point I started crying." I never thought till this day I would hear my brother cry, being the man that he is. Our M O T H E R S death broke him down to a breaking point, missing her was totally a precious moment in all of our lives. 

My brother did not want to tell our Sherri about his break down being that she was epileptic. Our conversations was between Wesley and I. We were having a M O T H E R S day blues just shy of M O T H E R S Day. None of us could go out to our M O T H E R S grave, because it was too painful for us to visit her, knowing that she was no longer with us in our hearts, but in spirit. Sherri, Wesley Jr. and I pray about it from time to time, and maybe our grief will come a little bit more easy for us to bare. Like I always say, "Grief doesn't have a time limit" and I felt this hurt will always be with us the rest of our lives. 

We know that we are not the only ones experiencing a death in the family. But...prayer changes everything in its place. Sherri, Wesley Jr. and I will manage our grief one day at a time. 

Never A Day Missed I Don't Think About My M O T H E R

 Book 198

Exodus 20:12 -12.Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

What I share with ever one of my family members is the memories of a legend. "A Legend Of Love" my M O T H E R Ruth Ann Brunson. There is not a day I don't think about my M O T H E R. She is kind of tough to get over with every ounce in my body I can take. She was the light that shined bright in our hearts, and I will never forget the memories she left behind for us to cherish.

She was a soldier in the army of GOD and his son JESUS. All the battles my M O T H E R when through, my pilots fought them all for her so that she could have peace with in her heart, mind, and soul. She also stayed silent about the things that hindered her, but she didn't let foolish things get to her, no matter what the happened or who did it to her. My M O T H E R was a pro at letting things go without hate or haste. She prayed and prayed unconditionally to GOD and his son JESUS about the burdens that was instilled on her at that brief moment in her life. A soldier of our pilots above!

My Mother was a "Legend Of Love" and you can never get no better than that in a lifetime if you give your love unconditionally; even weathering the storm that blow you around like a piece of cardboard. My M O T H E R been through every possible storm there is to go through. 35 plus years was enough for my M O T H E R. "It was enough for her!" She can now rest in the glory of GOD and his son JESUS. I am thankful for that!

Not Living In Persecution

 Book 195

Exodus 20:2-17 2. I am the LORD thy GOD, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. 3. Thou shalt have no other gods before me. 4. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. 5. Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy GOD am a jealous GOD, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; 6. And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments. 7. Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy GOD in vein; for the LORD will not hold the guiltless that taketh his name in vain. 8. Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. 9. Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work: 10. But the seventh day is the sabbath of the lord god: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates: 11. For in six days the LORD made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and the rested seventh day: where for the LORD bless the sabbath day, and hallowed it. 12. Honour thy Father and thy Mother: that thy days be long upon the earth which the LORD thy GOD giveth thee. 13. Thou shalt not kill. 14. Thou shalt not commit adultery. 15. Thou shalt not steal. 16. Thou shalt not bear false witness against they neighbor. 17. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox l, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbor's.

Sometimes I feel like everyone is against me for no reason, nor did I give them a reason to be so judgemental against me. Even though my siblings, nephews, and especially my niece are on the outside; and trying to look inside my thoughts, and they have no clue about what's going on with me, or how I feel about things, or know the flavor of my Kool Aid. My issue run deeper than an open wound, and it seems like everyone loves to pick at it like the center of a nucleus. I am not trying judge anyone in my family, but it's the way I feel sometimes when I feel everyone trying to nit pick an argument up for no reason, and I haven't cause any haste, nor done anything to no one,  and I am truly convinced. Anytime I feel the way I feel when I think my family trying to get me frustrated, especially my sister Sherri, only to start a argument with me, I start to pray. 

And then...I think of my M O T H E R when these provocative occurrences of anger my family is trying to inflict on me for no reason what so ever. I remember times when I did my M O T H E R wrong out of haste. I wasn't a perfect child to her, and I don't bite my tongue when I tell the truth about it.  No one is perfect in their sense of character. I did apologize to my M O T H E R the day she went to glory. 

But...I'm still reaping the consequences and the repercussions for my indiscretions and actions against my M O T H E R. Then I think of the book of Exodus 20:12, "Honour thy Father and thy Mother: that thy days may be long upon the earth which the LORD thy GOD giveth thee." The bible is fulfilling itself at its entirety. I know what I had to go through, and pray about, before I could receive fully salvation, and be forgiven for my sins, and my sins against my M O T H E R. Back to my family! All I ever wanted from my family, was to fit somewhere in the equation, and like a missing piece of a puzzle.

If I did anything wrong to anyone, I would to tell my family: I am truly sorry in the name of JESUS, my LORD. My pilots know I do not want any more haste with my family, nor with anyone else. I made my peace with my M O T H E R before she went to glory, and I know she forgave me a long time ago. I just want to live holy; laugh with my family every chance I get, and love my family for every second of every minute I live on this earth. "That's my destiny in a way life that we all should be living in the mist of GOD and his son JESUS."

Memories And A GODSEND To Our Family

 Book 195

John 8:42 - 42. JESUS said unto them, if GOD were your father, ye would love me; for I proceeded forth and came from GOD; neither came I of myself, but he sent me. 

My family and I find ourselves thinking of our parents a lot more than we want to. The reason why I said it the way I did, is because it's been hard on all of us in a sense of grieving. Our parents are still fresh in our minds, no matter what. What it is to do with these memories? That's hard to answer right now as I post. 

Our M O T H E R is the hardest one to forget, because she was such a beautiful and sweet woman. She always gave all of us her signature smile, no matter what she's been through in her life. That smile shines brighter than a LED light. My brother seems to have it the hardest, because I believe when he watch our M O T H E R get buried, he never got over see it happen. I wished he wouldn't have saw that happen. He is experiencing a hard time right now as I post. 

My twin sister on the other hand; she don't want me to mention our M O T H E R until she does, because...she seems to have days where she is thinking of our M O T H E R constantly without a break. She get headaches every time our M O T H E R is mentioned, and that can cause her to have seizures at any moment. Sherri wants to be the one that mentions our M O T H E R when she feels the notion to do so. I have my days when I just start crying when I have a memory of my M O T H E R out of the blue come upon me. It's so hard on me some times I cry out of control. 

I have problems with my blood pressure shooting up every time I have an episode. I also find that my niece and nephews have that time in their lives where my M O T H E R (their grandmother) come across their minds. They cry out of control! Even the littlest of people in my family have their days too. No matter how young a person is, my M O T H E R had a greater affect on them. 

She left her mark with us, and it would be with us for the rest of our natural lives. Sherri and I would work in our vegetable and herb garden, and all we think about is our parents. We talk to them when we go out and work in our garden, our F A T H E R mostly, because he is part of the reason why we can grow a lot of things. Our F A T H E R farmed in his days, and he did quite well with it. "It was his passion, as it is for us." 

Sherri and I talk mostly to him when we are gardening. Our sister in law Neyome, she helps keep all of sane. She is a total GODSEND by GOD and his son JESUS Christ. Neyome is a beautiful soul indeed. Our family in Canada my M O T H E R also had quite an affect on them when she traveled there during the winter season. 

Parents have an amazing affect on everyone lives when they are no longer a part of the equation. If anyone has experienced otherwise, you would know especially how we feel as a family. 

Once Twice The Indiscretions

 Book 194 

Romans 5:9 - 11 - 9. Much more them being justified by his blood we shall be saved from draft through him. 10. For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to GOD by the death of his son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by his life. 11. And not only so, but we also joy in GOD through our LORD JESUS Christ, by whom have now received the atonement. 

When a person like myself have a situation at hand when it comes to a sibling, you got to take the bitter with the sweet to get through the day without going crazy. This is how it is with me and my sister Sherri. She makes you so angry sometimes to a point, you want to peel her skull and not ruin her hair in the process. Yes, we are in a spat about WiFi Internet that I asked her nicely to for, Sherri acted like she didn't want me to access to it. I decided to go ahead and change my mind about having access to her WiFi Internet.

Then, all heck broke loose, because I changed my mind and decided to back out. I told her that, "I am not trying to start anything with her, but...I notice that she was not talking and that she looked like she wasn't feeling well." At that moment, Sherri had told me she had a headache. I was going to accept the fact that she had a headache, until she told me that I was evil, and that our M O T H E R was right about me being rough and mean to her. Sherri had brought back and opened up old wounds about my spats with our M O T H E R, that I simply apologized to her on her death bed, before she was released to the Kingdom of GOD. It seemed like every time we had a spat, she would throw our M O T H E R in my face about the spats we use to have. I felt that was wrong of her to do that to me, when I already made peace with my, before she died. 

Sherri other indiscretion was also throwing her husbands parents in my face so that they can get them upset with me for them to look at me any kind of way like I am trash. I wasn't going to take it anymore with my sister throwing people in my face, including our deceased M O T H E R because it was a low blow to me to use our M O T H E R in that manner. I told my brother Wesley about what she did. He was totally upset with Sherri that she would rehash and bring up old wounds about our M O T H E R and I having having spats, and throwing her husband Lorenzo parents in the mix to get them upset with me over our spat with each other. I wasn't going to take it no more with my sister throwing people in my face, the main one I loved so much in my face, because it was ludicrous, unfounded, and ignorant. 

That was when I started praying for Sherri about her actions, and the fact that she had a headache, and about the fact that I was concerned about her, because she wasn't talking at all throughout the morning. It was like she was taking her frustrations out on me, and accusing me for arguing with her and I wasn't raising my voice to her. I was totally shock at the way she was acting. I left well enough alone and let GOD handle her problem, whether if it was all of her medicine she's taking bothering her, or if she just had a bad attitude from the effects of her medicines. I don't know anymore! 

My whole demeanor had changed about her when it came to her throwing people, including our M O T H E R in my face, and then rehashing up old wounds. "I am done taking it!" 

What Is To Be Lonely In The Hospital

 Book 193 

John 8:16 - 16. And yet if I judge, my judgement is true: for I am not alone, but I and the Father that sent me.

I am informing everyone about my stay in the hospital 🏨 so that I can so I can basically get some kind of rest 🛌 and relaxation, besides catching bronchitis 😪👃👄👅 While I am recuperating from bronchitis, I am going to write about my feelings that I am experiencing 😐 I am really thinking about my M O T H E R and how she felt after her major stroke, and how she came through it was a true blessing 🙏🏾 What I am trying to say is about how she felt being alone for approximately two months after she was admitted to the hospital 🏨 during the the time 🕛 when COVID 19 was so bad during the early part of 2020 four months before her death 💀  I was starting to feel just like she felt 😢 alone and abandoned 😣 Now I know the feeling when family 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 can't come to visit 🕥  

Only one person can come to visit me, mask included 😷 No other family member can visit 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 This is the rules that the hospital 🏨 set to keep everyone safe, even if everyone who has gotten vassenated 💉for COVID19 Virus 💀 M O T H E R was alone throughout her stay in the hospital 🏨 No one could visit her at all, because of the effectiness and the extent of the COVID19 virus during the early part of 2020 💀 So I can imagine my M O T H E R feeling alone and succluded from her family 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦

This is the way I feel, and it doesn't feel good at all 😣 I really miss my family 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 even though, it's only been only three days since I have been hospitalized 🏨 I hope I never feel the fate of being alone again, because it's a bad feeling to feel when you don't have your family 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 near you for support 👩‍❤️‍👨 and during the time 🕥 when you're down and out; like my M O T H E R was 😣 Only the hospital staff became her makeshift family 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 a little before she before she died in their presence 💀 I still could not get close to my M O T H E R even though when I was finally allowed by the hospital 🏨 to see her just before the doctors and nurses removed her from life support 💀 

I am waiting to be discharged from the hospital 🏨 even though my M O T H E R didn't get that opportunity to be discharged from the hospital 🏨 I am blessed 🙏🏾 to have the opportunity to go home 🏡 to recuperate there 😃 I feel that my M O T H E R really didn't die 💀 alone, but with the presence of Christ, my LORD 🙏🏾 she wasn't alone, and she was at peace ✌🙌 I feel good about that 😊

I Am A Day Dreamer

 Book 190

I am a day dreamer; I am a dreamer of GOD and his son JESUS. I am a day dreamer when comes to my M O T H E R. I miss the ole girlfriends with all of my heart. She still fresh in my mind, in my heart, my soul, as I am part of her body she bore. My M O T H E R is in the hands of GOD and his son JESUS. She is without pain; she is not crying out of pain; no more dialysis for her to cleanse her blood. 

My M O T H E R is smiling with joy, nothing else in this this lifetime will make her sad with despair. She is living life in Heaven grand and Heaven I do worry to much about my M O T H E R, because I know that she is in perfect hands. My only problem is that I can't remove the thoughts of her presents here on earth. I would want her to return to despair, because her life is better where she is. My M O T H E R is living inside me through day dreams that keeps repeating day in and day out. 

She is hard to forget, because of the amount of love I still have for her. Memories from this "Legend of Love" will never faulter my mind, because she will always live in my heart strongly and boldly without an ounce of despair interfering with my thoughts of my M O T H E R. She is a legend of love by her own accord, because she touched so many lives every where she turned. A 360 degree circumference; she completes one full circle of her lifetime. It is now complete. 

My M O T H E R S journey is complete upon this earth. She earned her wings of faith, of love, and endurance. I can't touch that until I make it to Heaven. I am working on my life so that I see my M O T H E R again beyond this lifetime. 🕊 M O T H E R...rest well in the hands of GOD and his son JESUS, and of the kingdom of Heaven, where she will spend eternity. 🕊

A Real Family Coffee Cup Discussion

 Book 189

Luke 12:51 - 53 -  51. Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay, but rather division. 52. For from henceforth there shall be five in one house divided, three against two, and two against three. 53. The father shall be divided against the son, and the son against the father; the mother against the daughter, and the daughter against the mother; the mother in law against her daughter in law, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. 

When you deal with the deception of certain family members, your whole gets turned upside down and inside out without a care in the world. My immediate family found that fate after the death of my F A T H E R. When it came to my M O T H E R, I know what deception was when she died and hardly no one from my extended family bothered to show up at her funeral. If ever a time when I needed to have real family members there, I would of been totally accommodated. What was left of my immediate family was my sister, my brother, and myself.

Hardly no one from our extended family gave my sister Sherri, my brother Wesley, and myself the courtesy to even show us some kind of sympathy to at least show up at our M O T H E R S funeral. "What was up with that?" Love for my sister, brother, and I was just a mystery in a maze that I didn't want to find my way through. Every door I came up to...was a door of uncertainty on the other the other side of it. There was no love for my M O T H E R Ruth, even with her death.

The full emptiness of the short presents of people at my M O T H E R S funeral, showed me how important Sherri, Wesley, and I really were to our extended family. We thank GOD and his son JESUS for the few extended family and friends we did have at our M O T H E R S graveside service. It goes to show who "family" really is. No coffee cup discussions necessary for those extended family members who didn't even bother to show up at my M O T H E R S funeral.

With this said, no coffee cup discussion is worth the hassle when you have people (extended family members) who really love you. That's fine if my M O T H E R S graveside service did have many people to come and pay their last respects to her. Our memories will always extend from the sky to the horizon for my M O T H E R. So "Rest up ole girl" because we love you forever and always. 

A Legend Of Love Always

 Book 188 - Special Edition Post

Proverbs 31:10 - 31 10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. 11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. 12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. 13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. 14 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. 15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. 16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. 17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. 18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. 19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. 20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. 21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. 22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. 23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. 24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. 25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. 28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. 29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. 30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. 31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

This is one instance since I see myself in the shade of light. I continue to see my M O T H E R in spirit; I think of here in a constant nutshell. I hear her voice with every since of my hearing. She sounds like an angel flying around me while she watches over me day in and day out. I still can't fathom her gone away from me; immortal presents still get me every time I consistently think of her without every heartbreak I experience when I can see her, if it's just for one minute to every microsecond. 

M O T H E R...I miss you with everything I have in the world. Sherri and I can't seem to get you out of our minds no matter what we do. We look down the end of the road where she is buried and we think of her there laying in a coffin in silence without a word from her mortal body. We only see her in our hearts, minds, and our souls, if only we can have a chance to see her once again. Only GOD and his son JESUS will comfort our hearts with the thought of missing her and not being able to talk to her when we want to talk to her and carry on conversations with her.

Sherri and I are seeing psychologists to try and overcome our hurt and our broken hearts from our M O T H E R S death. I don't think anyone who haven't gone through losing a love one can understand what Sherri and I go through every single day without her presents. Not being able to talk to her, or being able to laugh with her, whenever we take a notion to. Our M O T H E R was all we had in the world. But...we know that she is in Heaven smiling down on us, including our brother Wesley who experiences everything we are going through day in and day out. 

I have never for sure seen my brother cry, but...when my sister in law Neyome conversed with me one day about my brother's hurt over our M O T H E R dying. She told me and Sherri, "It wasn't a pretty sight when she observed his hurt as loud as a person would scream out bloody murder." Neyome told us that our brother cried that entire day without a break. I for one could not bare to see that with my own eyes. It would kill me to my heart to see my brother cry out like he did. 

Now everyone can understand what a wonderful woman my M O T H E R were as a Legend of Love. She lived three score and ten years over. To me...that's a lot of living and a lifetime of memories to have of my M O T H E R. It was and is a blessing to have. 

The Wisdom Of Zachary

 Book 187 - Special Edition Post From Zachary To Me

Job 28:12-28 - 12. But where shall wisdom be found/? And where is the place of understanding? 13, Man knoweth not the price thereof; neither is it found in the land of the living. 14, The depth saith, it is not in me; and the sea saith, it is not with me. 15. It cannot be gotten for gold, neither shall silver be weighted for thereof. 16. It cannot be valued with the gold of Ophir, with the precious onyx, or the sapphire. 17. The gold and the crystal cannot equal it. and the exchange of it shall not be for jewels of the gold. 18. No mention shall b made of coral, or of pearls for the price of wisdom is above rubies. 19. The topaz of Ethiopia shall not equal it, neither shall it be valued with pure gold. 20. Whence then cometh wisdom? And where is the place of understanding? 21. Seeing it is hid from the eyes of all living, and kept close from the fowls of the air. 22. Destruction and death say, we have heard the fame thereof with our ears. 23. GOD understandeth the way thereof, and he knoweth the place thereof. 24. For he looketh to the ends of the earth, and seeth under the whole heaven. 25. To make the weight for the winds, and he weigheth the waters by measure. 26. When he made a decree for the rain, and a way for the lighting of the thunder. 27. Then did he see it, and declare it, he prepared it, yea, and searched it out. 28. And unto man he said, Behold, the fear of the LORD, that is wisdom, and to depart from evil is understanding.

 

I never thought I will hear wisdom by its character until I heard it from my son Zachary on this day April 3, 2021. I was having a terrible and an extreme bad patch about my M O T H E R. I was in shambles, not knowing what I was going to do without my M O T H E R in my presents. I cried out to my M O T H E R in a hurtful and painful cry, because I miss her so much. How my son's wisdom to acknowledge what he addressed to me started when my twin sister Sherri had told me what I had not expected her to say. 

She told me of the times our M O T H E R would just lay on her, not knowing that she was sick and fatigued from being sick, kind of struck a nerve in me almost immediately thinking that she was just fatigue, when in fact she was really sick. I cried for a brief moment thinking about the time our M O T H E R had also layed on my shoulder not knowing she was sick. It took all the strength out of me at that particular moment. I could not do anything else. I was stuck in that moment of grief knowing what I didn't know that my M O T H E R had suffered a sickness beyond the fact of her diabetes, her renal failure, and other things that was going on with her. 

I told my sister that I had to leave, because...I did not want to cry in front of her. I got up after Zachary had left out of my brother-in-law's mother's house to join him out in our car. I started to cried out for my M O T H E R in a rage, not out of anger, but...with a strong hurt in my heart, because of the thought of my M O T H E R laying on my shoulder, because...she was in fact sick, and that I miss my her so much knowing what I know now. Then all of a sudden...wisdom showed its face in a heartbeat through my son Zachary. What he said to me left me to only think twice about my grief for my M O T H E R. Here is what he told me! He told me this: "Mom...your M O T H E R is not hurting anymore and that she's not at the end of the road in just a grave, but...she is in the present of GOD and his son JESUS. My grandmother isn't hurting anymore. She would not want you to be grieving for her. She want you to celebrate her life as she lived it. Your M O T H E R had a mission on this earth like the rest of us. Her mission to live for the LORD is done and she was called home to GOD and his son JESUS. We too are not here for the long hall, we are here until our number is called. We are not here to stay." I was totally in shock of how much Zachary paid attention to thing I didn't know he was paying attention to.

Zachary gave me an ear full and then some about life. This 14 year old so full of wisdom to tell me what he told me is totally phenomenal. "I have a gift in Zachary!" A kid with Autism. I am never going to forget the awesomeness of his wisdom to me. 

I stopped crying immediately, and celebrated my M O T H E R S life when she was on this earth. It was like a reality check that my son had given me to think about. I will never doubt my son about what he knows about Christ our LORD, and his father, GOD. Zachary gave me an ear full and then some. All I could do is smile and accept what my 14 year old son had told me was nothing but the truth. 

I am never going to forget how wisdom got the best of my son in a awesome was to acknowledge. I am in celebration of my M O T H E R S life, even though...there will be some days that I will in fact cry out for my M O T H E R. And when I do, I am going think about the wise wisdom my son Zachary shared with me. It's a reality check from son to think about. I am very proud of him!

Fight My Battles For My F A T H E R Like A Toy Soldier

 Book 186 - Special Edition Post

1 Samuel 8:20 - 20. That we may be like all nations; and that our king may judge us, and go out before us, and fight our battles. 

2 Chronicles 32:8 - 8. With him is an arm of flesh, but with us is LORD our GOD to help us, and to fight our battles. And the people rested themselves upon the words of Hezekiah king of Judah.

Isaiah 30:32 - 32. And in every place where the grounded staff shall pass, which the Lord shall lay upon him, it shall be with targets and harps: and in battles of shaking will he fight with it. 

Step by Step, Heart to Heart...left right left, we all fall down, like Toy Soldiers. Whenever I hear that song, I think of my F A T H E R mostly, because...the woman who sung that song, lost her F A T H E R. It's very hard to fathom sometimes, because he is no longer here in my life, but...he will always be a part of the memories I have of him. "I will always treasure that unconditionally." I am hanging in there with every ounce of strength I have with every breath I take step by step, heart to heart for my F A T H E R. 

Left right left, I will not fall down in despair, grieve, and unhappiness like a Toy Soldier in this battle fought so hard through the last six months of my F A T H E R. "Who else can endure the kind of pain my family and I went through in one battle fought?" GOD and his son JESUS strengthen me and brighten me in my mind with all the tools I needed to win that battle for my F A T H E R in my pilots name sake. GOD and his son JESUS gave me the courage, the wisdom, and the talent to document without saying a word. The Toy Solider was left standing throughout everything it been through and won with an ounce of victory. With 427 battles fought, I was determined I give those battles to GOD and his son JESUS for my F A T H E R. 

Rest assure...my F A T H E R S story will continue to be true and told. There is justice for that solider known as my F A T H E R who has fallen, not by the wayside, but...in spirit so that he can rest in peace. I also think about my M O T H E R in the same way, and she could also rest assure that her story will also be told and is told in the present and in past tense in documentation without saying a word. I have a long way to go with fighting my battle 427 times for her. Rest assure...her story will be told in one heartbeat. 

There is no holding back in winning the battle 427 times 2 when it comes to loving the two people who are three years, four months apart from each other that I lost in my lifetime. I will not give into the battle I fought, because...GOD and his son JESUS are my captain from my latitude to my longitude, my battle will soon be a victory. 

What Sow...Sow Shall I Reap

 Book 185 - Special Edition Post

Luke 6:38 - 38. Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.

Galatians 6:8 - 8. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. 

2 Corinthians 9:6 - 6. But this I say, He which sleety sparingly shall reap also sparingly and he which sleety bountiful my shall reap also bountifully.

  

I wrote a letter in memory of my parents. I mostly wrote about my M O T H E R and my indiscretions I had against her when she was alive. Now...I reap what I sow through my son Zachary. I deserve what GOD and his son JESUS raft which is inflicted on me. I am going to take it, because I deserve it for the way I treated my M O T H E R. She continue to love me so much. Before she left me, she was at peace, and she forgave me with peace. I asked GOD and his son JESUS for forgiveness for my M O T H E R, and now, I am at peace.

My letter as it reads: 

I have issues dealing with the death of my parents. I know in my heart that my F AT H E R was the most important key to my existence, but...my M O T H E R was a different form of importance. She was the one who gave me life; she was the one who provided me comfort and with the knowledge to do so. She was my hover over me when things got bad. She made sure I was alright, along with my F A T H E R say in this. She made sure I had everything I needed to live in this world. Along with my F A T H E R, my M O T H E R was my safety net without confusion of what to do next. 

I have been taught by the best of the best. I have nothing but memories of my parents. Those memories continued with rules and regulations; the law of GOD and his son JESUS put into my parents hearts to instill it in me, so that I could learn from my mistakes if there were any. I can say right now, that I appreciate everything that my parents did for me when they were alive and well. I had a few bad patches with my M O T H E R I never got a chance to apologize to her about. Yes, I was a bad person only by choice at the time. 

I use to bad mouth my M O T H E R. My sister would tell me all the time, "To never talk to our M O T H E R like I did, and I did it anyway." But...my M O T H E R kept loving me even though, and she just kept smiling, never letting what I did bother her. In her heart, mind, body, and soul, she had already forgiven me for what I done to her. My M O T H E R was at peace through GOD and his son JESUS almighty. She had already forgiven me for all of indiscretions. I live through my reaping everyday through my son Zachary. 

He was so rebellious to me. He talks back to me just as I did my M O T H E R. Zachary did what he wanted and still doing what he wants just as I did my M O T H E R. He yells and screams at me just as I did to my M O T H E R. "I get it now!" I get it. What I sow...sow shall I reap. 

My reaping days is here in a ten fold through my son Zachary. He is totally letting me have it! Now I have the memory of my M O T H E R telling me so. She told me numerous times that everything I did to her was going to come back to me. It's here and it is ten times worst than I imagined for the way I treated her. I did love my M O T H E R with every breath I took and with every ounce of strength I had in my body, but...I didn't show her at the time when I treated her wrong when she was living on this earth. 

But...she forgave me before she she left me. Then...I asked GOD and his son JESUS to forgive me for what I did to my M O T H E R, and everything she had been through with me. I was totally amber to my F A T H E R, but...my M O T H E R rode the storm with me, my F A T H E R, and everyone else who did her wrong, and she just kept smiling to the four winds. I can say this with comfort, and with peace in my heart, "GOD and his son JESUS has forgiven me for my M O T H E R, and my M O T H E R has forgiven me through GOD and his on JESUS." 

I can say and continuously say, "I am at peace with it and myself included. I love you M O T H E R, I love you F A T H E R. Rest well.with the angels.

An Author's Successful Journey

 Book 184

Joshua 1:8 - 8. This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according g to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt .and thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have success. 

What good webs I weave into existence. My son Zachary and I lives are about to change forever, certainly with GOD and his son JESUS ahead of all the things Zachary and I are about to do. It is a big deal for me, because I have never experienced anything like having a movie adapted from my first book, "The Minorities, The Pilot". The right of course; from my book will be asked in permission to script my book at its entirety. I for one will be giving that permission to the production companies that are interested in my work. 

There are two production companies: Chad Conley Productions and Kaoticklone Productions. I am beyond excited and totally blessed to have those production company's interest in my work. I know that I am patient in waiting for both production companies to ask for the rights of my book, so that " The Minorities, Pilot can be produced. I know in fact that my F A T H E R and M O T H E R would be happy if they could see my potential success, but...in memory of my parents, I know that they are proud of me. 🕊 My GOD and his son JESUS...may they rest in peace. 🕊

GOD and his JESUS has blessed me so much in my life. I should have saw all the blessings that my pilots have dwelled throughout the extent of my life. I am no longer blind to see what GOD and his son JESUS has been giving me. The gift of writing has led me into a world I never thought existed. It's no longer a fantasy to me. 

This is for real! A movie adaptation is not just fun and game. It's coming to my presence and its journey into the future. Hallelujah... praise GOD and his son JESUS for giving me the opportunity to shine like the mirror I can look into completely without a smudge or streak. Hallelujah...praise GOD for giving me this chance for an opportunity of a lifetime. My F A T H E R and M O T H E R would have been totally proud to see me make a difference, not only for myself, but...for my son Zachary as well.

Ruth's Legacy Of Love Continues On In Spirit

 Book 183 - Special Edition Post

Ruth 4:11 - 11. And all the people that were in the gate, and the elders said, "We are the witnesses". The LORD make the woman that is come into thine house like Rachel and Leah. Which two did build the house of Israel and do thou worthily in Ephrata, and be famous in Bethlehem.

Psalms 78:4 - 4. We will not hide them from our children, she sing to the generation to come the praised of the LORD, and his strength, and his wonderful works that he hath done. 

Psalms 145:4 - One generation shall praise the works to another, and shall declare they acts.

I got some wonderful news to tell my viewers and posters. I happy to announce that my niece Octavia company is now official. She named her 18 wheeler truck after my M O T H E R. It is called, "Ruth's Legacy Trucking, LLC." That give a nice ring to the most beautiful name in the whole world. 

I cried when I saw my M O T H E R S picture, the day she was born (Alpha) and the day she died (Omega) and then Ruth's Legacy Trucking, LLC on my nieces truck. My sister Sherri and I did not expect to see nothing but the name Ruth's Legacy Trucking, LLC, that's it! All that I knew that it made me cry tears of joy. Octavia travels with my M O T H E R in spirit. It's like my M O T H E R journeying in time, but...in spirit.

I am proud of Octavia for everything she does when she drive her truck around the country in memory of my M O T H E R. So beautiful! 

Giving Success To GOD And His Son JESUS Almighty

 Book 182 - Special Edition Video

Hebrews 10:36 - 36. For ye have need of patience, that after ye have done the will of GOD, ye might receive the promise. 

Genesis 39:2-3 - 2. And the LORD was with joseph, and he was a prosperous man; and he was in the house of his master the Egyptian. 3. And his master saw that the LORD was with him, and that the LORD made all that he did to prosper in his hand. 

I did an interview with my sister-in-law Neyome live, so that I could get people to donate to my Go Fund Me site. So far, no people donated to my Go Fund Me site! What I am going to do is put my Go Fund Me site in the hands of GOD and his son JESUS. They know all about what I have to do to get my screenplay in to production with the producers of Chad Conley Productions. This is what my post is all about, trying to get people to donate to my Go Fund Me site.

I am not going to worry no more about it! I am going to leave my fundraiser in the hands of my pilots. That is all I could do to get people in general to pay attention. GOD and his son JESUS is good all the time no matter what the cause, or situation is. I know in my heart I am going to raise the $4,000 dollars needed for one half of the screenplay and my screenwriter will take care of the rest. Brett Johnson (screenwriter) has given me two months to come up with the funds so that he could start my campaign. 

I am asking that everyone here who views my post will give towards my Go Fund Me site. I am praying for that to happen, because I am dedicating the cause to my parents: Ruth Ann Thomas Brunson (M O T H E R) and my (F A T H E R) Wesley Brunson Sr. I very much want to make them proud of my accomplishment. By GOD and his son JESUS almighty, let it be real; let me be able to raise the $4,000 dollars needed to cover half the cost of my screenplay. I am going to continue to leave my fundraiser in the hands of my pilots.

Riding The Successful Storm

 Book 181

Joshua 1:8 - 8. This book of law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt mediate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success. 

Matthew 6:33 - But seek ye first the kingdom of GOD, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. 

Proverbs 3:9-10 - 9. Honor the LORD with thy substance, and with the firstfruits of all thine increase. 10. So shall thy barns be filled with plenty and thy presses shall burst out with new wine. 

Philippians 4:19 - 19. But my GOD shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. 

I just miss the ole girl so much, I can't began to fathom my life with out my M O T H E R. It's still hard for me to bare the though that I am never going to see my M O T H E R again. I am still grieving for her in my own way. It is not a day I don't think of her. All I could do is to pray for comfort to ease the pain I feel about losing my M O T H E R. 

This was why I will dedicate my road to success to my M O T H E R and to my F A T H E R. I just found out that my book, "The Minorities, The Pilot" is going to be scripted into a movie. That is the greatest accomplishment that I have ever received. Just like my M O T H E R, I am riding the storm to success. Yes, I got Hollywood producer eager and ready to turn my book into a movie. 

But, the only thing that I need to accomplish is getting the screenplay to the producers of Chad Conley Productions. Screenplays aren't cheep! I am looking to pay thousands of dollars to provide the screenplay to producers. That's money that I don't have on me; not even my account. I decided to do a fundraiser in order to raise at least $9000.00 to cover the cost of the screenplay.

I know that I can't let this opportunity get away from me, because it is a chance of a lifetime deal. I would like to provide for my son Zachary everything that I never had so that he can have a better life. That is my goal to do so, even if I need to use my car as collateral to cover the cost of the screenplay. Using my car as collateral is risky, but...when it comes to Zachary, I am willing to do what I need to see that he have a better life. I am riding the storm for Zachary. 

I can't pass up a chance of lifetime to live a better life. I guess I am like most people who have the opportunity to live a successful life, and I don't blame them not one bit. This is my goal for Zachary and I am not to pass this opportunity of being famous up. 

Our M O T H E R: Riding The Storm

 Book 180 - Special Edition Post 

2 Corinthians 1:6 - 6. And whether we be afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effectual in the enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer: or whether we be comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation. 

Psalms 19:9 - 9. The fear of the LORD is clean, enduring for ever: the judgements of the LORD are true and righteous altogether. 

When I write this post, I think of my M O T H E R and everything she has been through in her life. That's almost three scores and ten years before, she was called home to glory! How can anyone began to know the Hades she went through? Requiring minds want to know about the evil that was casted upon my M O T H E R S sweet soul. I can't forget the time when my F A T H E R was in the hospital for his stage four cirrhosis of the liver.

I remember he was having a hard time dealing with the pain of his disease. At the time, everyone one was there visiting him; my aunts Curline, Minnie Lou (The one that had Power of Attorney over my F A T H E R S life), Tammy, uncles Carl and Alfonzo, and his nieces and nephews. My M O T H E R S came, in support of my F A T H E R, since they were separated. I remember when my M O T H E R was on the side of his bed in a wheelchair, and she asked my F A T H E R, how he was doing? He told her right in front of everyone to, "Get out of his room!"

What my F A T H E R said to my M O T H E R, truly embarrassed her in front of everyone there in his hospital room. I looked over at my M O T H E R, and she had this look of disbelief; A shocking experience to know that my F A T H E R deceived her in a way that was unfounded. My niece Octavia looked over at her grandfather, and she became was angry with my with him at that peculiar moment. She walked over to my M O T H E R (her grandmother) and rolled her in her wheelchair chair; out of my F A T H E R S hospital room to a near by waiting room. Sherri, my twin sister followed her daughter Octavia and our M O T H E R to the waiting room. 

They never returned! I had stayed behind, because I wanted to ask my F A T H E R, "Why he disgrace my M O T H E R the way he did in front of everyone?" I was angry with my F A T H E R. He had no right to do what he did to my M O T H E R; embarrassing her like that in front of everyone there. I can only remember it as a bad memory against my M O T H E R. 

She was depressed for quite some time over my F A T H E R S indiscretion over what occurred that day. But, my M O T H E R...in the midst of her depression, kept a smile on her face, even though...she was hurting inside from my F A T H E R S deception. I remember a time when my F A T H E R first went out on my M O T H E R in an adulterous affair. It was Christmas Day. My M O T H E R, Sherri's boyfriend Lorenzo at the time; now husband, my brother Wesley Jr., and I had been at a party that my uncle Carl and aunt Tammy had hosted. 

My F A T H E R had left the party early. My M O T H E R noticed. Before reality came crashing down on my M O T H E R, she was told by an anonymous source that my F A T H E R was seen at this woman's house prior to my M O T H E R blinded fate that her husband was cheating on her. Wesley Jr., Sherri and Lorenzo, my M O T H E R, and I decided to leave the Christmas party with directions given to us from our anonymous source. It was after twelve midnight! In my M O T H E R S hands was  my  F A T H E R S location.

It was totally hard to fathom at first, what my M O T H E R was about to experience, as we travelled at a moderate pace of speed. We were in no hurry to find the deception of my F A T H E R S indiscretions. We took our time enroute to this woman of despair and my F A T H E R in the center of it. It took over forty for Wesley Jr., Sherri and Lorenzo, my M O T H E R, and I to arrive at this woman's house. My M O T H E R did not hesitate as she got out of car; she walked up to the front door as we (her children) and Lorenzo looked on. 

My M O T H E R knocked, and the woman answered the door. My M O T H E R looked, and she saw my F A T H E R sitting on the sofa (as my M O T H E R stated) "Without a care in the world", and then my F A T H E R raced out behind my M O T H E R as she was fiercely in tears. My F A T H E R said, "Now you know" like....he did not care about my M O T H E R S feelings at all. Wesley Jr., Sherri and Lorenzo, my  M O T H E R, and I did not waste anytime leaving the premises. 

The early morning after Christmas Day, I remembered it as a particularly bad memory, not even for me, but...especially for my M O T H E R to carry the deception of my F A T H E R S indiscretion into heart, mind, body, and soul. My M O TH E R cried of many days after she caught my F A T H E R cheating on her. She even had to leave the state to clear her head, but...my M O T H E R always kept a smile on her face, and a totally awesome spirit, no matter what storm comes her way of a hurricane. My F A T H E R S deception continued until the day, thirty plus years later, divorce papers were sent by a police officer to my M O T H E R S  front door. That's when the chain of events came crashing down on all of us. 

My F A T H E R had began planning for the end of his life, with the help of his oldest sister, Minnie Lou. I would always believe she had those divorce papers written up for my F A T H E R for a reason, and it was all health wise and financial. I remember a day before my F A T H E R was admitted to the hospital, that he came out to the house with papers in hand. I met him at the end of the drive way that day. He was trying to get my M O T H E R to sign some papers, including the divorce papers. 

I asked my F A T H E R was he okay. He said, "I am fine for now." As we were walking up the driveway, my F A T H E R was talking about the papers and how my M O T H E R used a credit card he had to file for divorce. The credit card was maxed out. I told my F A T H E R that he wasn't going into the house he built to confront my M O T H E R about those papers, because I knew that the papers he had was something that was against my M O T H E R, and I wasn't going to let him go inside the house to stir up chaos. 

Then, all of a sudden, my F A T H E R said something that disturbed my until this day. He said, "I know that you M O T H E R hopes I die of cancer." I asked him, "You got cancer?" My F A T H E R never answered me like...wow...why would he said that, and I question it, and he doesn't answer me? At that particular moment, I most definitely did not let him go inside the house to confront my M O T H E R. 

I didn't want any chaos between them. That was a memory that disturbed me so much; I often wondered on the top of things, "Did my F A T H E R have cancer on top of his liver disease, since my ex aunt Minnie Lou had Power of Attorney of his life instead of my M O T  H E R having that power if something was to happen to my F A T H E R?" I thought of my M O T H E R and how she felt over everything that has happened to her with my F A T H E R and his siblings going against her with every ounce of deception they had against my M O T H E R? But, my M O T H E R kept smiling no matter what, even though, she was hurting inside. I knew this! 

My M O T H E R has been through a lot in the 70 years of her life. The first twenty-five years of her life was good (she told me) and the rest of her life came crashing down on her. Instead, she kept smiling and loving her enemies (my extended family members) no matter what. My M O T H E R was a "Legend of Love" and she took that with her to her grave. My M O T H E R rode the storm with every obstacle thrown her way.

She didn't let anything bring her sweet spirit down all the way, but she had the strength to continue riding the storm, and I will always remember that about my M O T H E R. I think of what my M O T H E R went through, and I cry about it every now and then when I look at my pillow with her picture on it. I forgave my F A T H E R for everything he did to my M O T H E R, but...I would never forget what he did to my M O T H E R no matter what. She was a strong woman in a frail body. I can't imagine the strength she had to endure everything that has happened to her. I thank GOD and his son JESUS that my M O T H E R will never have to endure pain or crying again, because she is with our maker in Heaven. 

I am happy about that!