Thinking About M O T H E R S Day Blues

 Book 199

John 16:22 - 22. And ye now therefore have sorrow; but I will see you again, and your heart shall rejoice, and your joy no man taketh from you

 

It is still fresh in our hearts, our M O T H E R S death. Grief has no season according to our reality when it comes to our M O T H E R. Sherri, Wesley Jr. and I long for our M O T H E R each day of our lives, never letting go of her is a hard thing to do right at this very moment I...myself...think of her without a break. I remember when I spoke to my brother just a few days ago. His whole conversation was about our M O T H E R. He said, "She just came across my mind all of a sudden, and it hit me very heart to the point I started crying." I never thought till this day I would hear my brother cry, being the man that he is. Our M O T H E R S death broke him down to a breaking point, missing her was totally a precious moment in all of our lives. 

My brother did not want to tell our Sherri about his break down being that she was epileptic. Our conversations was between Wesley and I. We were having a M O T H E R S day blues just shy of M O T H E R S Day. None of us could go out to our M O T H E R S grave, because it was too painful for us to visit her, knowing that she was no longer with us in our hearts, but in spirit. Sherri, Wesley Jr. and I pray about it from time to time, and maybe our grief will come a little bit more easy for us to bare. Like I always say, "Grief doesn't have a time limit" and I felt this hurt will always be with us the rest of our lives. 

We know that we are not the only ones experiencing a death in the family. But...prayer changes everything in its place. Sherri, Wesley Jr. and I will manage our grief one day at a time. 

Memories And A GODSEND To Our Family

 Book 195

John 8:42 - 42. JESUS said unto them, if GOD were your father, ye would love me; for I proceeded forth and came from GOD; neither came I of myself, but he sent me. 

My family and I find ourselves thinking of our parents a lot more than we want to. The reason why I said it the way I did, is because it's been hard on all of us in a sense of grieving. Our parents are still fresh in our minds, no matter what. What it is to do with these memories? That's hard to answer right now as I post. 

Our M O T H E R is the hardest one to forget, because she was such a beautiful and sweet woman. She always gave all of us her signature smile, no matter what she's been through in her life. That smile shines brighter than a LED light. My brother seems to have it the hardest, because I believe when he watch our M O T H E R get buried, he never got over see it happen. I wished he wouldn't have saw that happen. He is experiencing a hard time right now as I post. 

My twin sister on the other hand; she don't want me to mention our M O T H E R until she does, because...she seems to have days where she is thinking of our M O T H E R constantly without a break. She get headaches every time our M O T H E R is mentioned, and that can cause her to have seizures at any moment. Sherri wants to be the one that mentions our M O T H E R when she feels the notion to do so. I have my days when I just start crying when I have a memory of my M O T H E R out of the blue come upon me. It's so hard on me some times I cry out of control. 

I have problems with my blood pressure shooting up every time I have an episode. I also find that my niece and nephews have that time in their lives where my M O T H E R (their grandmother) come across their minds. They cry out of control! Even the littlest of people in my family have their days too. No matter how young a person is, my M O T H E R had a greater affect on them. 

She left her mark with us, and it would be with us for the rest of our natural lives. Sherri and I would work in our vegetable and herb garden, and all we think about is our parents. We talk to them when we go out and work in our garden, our F A T H E R mostly, because he is part of the reason why we can grow a lot of things. Our F A T H E R farmed in his days, and he did quite well with it. "It was his passion, as it is for us." 

Sherri and I talk mostly to him when we are gardening. Our sister in law Neyome, she helps keep all of sane. She is a total GODSEND by GOD and his son JESUS Christ. Neyome is a beautiful soul indeed. Our family in Canada my M O T H E R also had quite an affect on them when she traveled there during the winter season. 

Parents have an amazing affect on everyone lives when they are no longer a part of the equation. If anyone has experienced otherwise, you would know especially how we feel as a family. 

Once Twice The Indiscretions

 Book 194 

Romans 5:9 - 11 - 9. Much more them being justified by his blood we shall be saved from draft through him. 10. For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to GOD by the death of his son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by his life. 11. And not only so, but we also joy in GOD through our LORD JESUS Christ, by whom have now received the atonement. 

When a person like myself have a situation at hand when it comes to a sibling, you got to take the bitter with the sweet to get through the day without going crazy. This is how it is with me and my sister Sherri. She makes you so angry sometimes to a point, you want to peel her skull and not ruin her hair in the process. Yes, we are in a spat about WiFi Internet that I asked her nicely to for, Sherri acted like she didn't want me to access to it. I decided to go ahead and change my mind about having access to her WiFi Internet.

Then, all heck broke loose, because I changed my mind and decided to back out. I told her that, "I am not trying to start anything with her, but...I notice that she was not talking and that she looked like she wasn't feeling well." At that moment, Sherri had told me she had a headache. I was going to accept the fact that she had a headache, until she told me that I was evil, and that our M O T H E R was right about me being rough and mean to her. Sherri had brought back and opened up old wounds about my spats with our M O T H E R, that I simply apologized to her on her death bed, before she was released to the Kingdom of GOD. It seemed like every time we had a spat, she would throw our M O T H E R in my face about the spats we use to have. I felt that was wrong of her to do that to me, when I already made peace with my, before she died. 

Sherri other indiscretion was also throwing her husbands parents in my face so that they can get them upset with me for them to look at me any kind of way like I am trash. I wasn't going to take it anymore with my sister throwing people in my face, including our deceased M O T H E R because it was a low blow to me to use our M O T H E R in that manner. I told my brother Wesley about what she did. He was totally upset with Sherri that she would rehash and bring up old wounds about our M O T H E R and I having having spats, and throwing her husband Lorenzo parents in the mix to get them upset with me over our spat with each other. I wasn't going to take it no more with my sister throwing people in my face, the main one I loved so much in my face, because it was ludicrous, unfounded, and ignorant. 

That was when I started praying for Sherri about her actions, and the fact that she had a headache, and about the fact that I was concerned about her, because she wasn't talking at all throughout the morning. It was like she was taking her frustrations out on me, and accusing me for arguing with her and I wasn't raising my voice to her. I was totally shock at the way she was acting. I left well enough alone and let GOD handle her problem, whether if it was all of her medicine she's taking bothering her, or if she just had a bad attitude from the effects of her medicines. I don't know anymore! 

My whole demeanor had changed about her when it came to her throwing people, including our M O T H E R in my face, and then rehashing up old wounds. "I am done taking it!" 

Broken With Sentimental Value

 Book 191 - Special Edition Post 

Psalms 147:3 - 3. He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.

How can anyone break something so "Sentimental" to us? This was a heart that wasn't meant to be broken for 8 years past its expiration date. Then you have someone at the cemetery where my M O T H E R is buried, brake what was sentimental and precious to me and the rest the family. "What does it take for someone to care about someone's property?" Maybe so...that one day, someone will care about the dead in GOD and his son JESUS, and the family who gave great thought in placing a "heart" that was beautifully engraved with the most beautiful name in the world to me, Ruth Ann Brunson. 

I was so hurt when I saw my M O T H E R S broken heart solar light when my brother in law Lorenzo brought from the cemetery. I got to admit, I was pretty upset with the cemetery grounds keeper for breaking my M O T H E R S heart solar light. He said, "That there was to be nothing stuck in the grounds of the cemetery as he mowed the ground" and common sense would of told him to pick up the solar and place it on top of my M O T H E R S vault; my family and I would of understood more without all the animosity that came with broken hearts that crumbled into reality. My family and I can't fix what was broken, or its past that was so sentimental to us. We are owed an explanation and that's all that there was to it. 

My brother Wesley suggested that he would have a talk with the cemetery grounds keeper about my M O T H E R S broken heart solar light. I gave in my two cents to sum of the cause for Wesley to relay the message. I don't mean to be upset with the cemetery grounds keeper, but...I had a reason to be with every ounce in my body, heart and soul without tooT my haste. I questioned the thought. I said...and I quote, "What if...and I meant what if someone were to brake something that was sentimental to him?" 

Should this man cry wolf? I thought not! Because...when it came to our property value of my M O T H E R S broken heart solar light, I think that the cemetery grounds keeper should pay my family and I for our grief by saying "sorry" for the inconvenience, because... GOD know he wasn't going to pay us back for what broken in the base of our minds and in our hearts. My M O T H E R S solar hear can be replaced, but...my family I chose not too for its expensive, just it case it gets broken again. We did not want that fate on our conscience again with haste. All we want is peaceful beginnings as we move on with our lives as we see fit. 

I Am A Day Dreamer

 Book 190

I am a day dreamer; I am a dreamer of GOD and his son JESUS. I am a day dreamer when comes to my M O T H E R. I miss the ole girlfriends with all of my heart. She still fresh in my mind, in my heart, my soul, as I am part of her body she bore. My M O T H E R is in the hands of GOD and his son JESUS. She is without pain; she is not crying out of pain; no more dialysis for her to cleanse her blood. 

My M O T H E R is smiling with joy, nothing else in this this lifetime will make her sad with despair. She is living life in Heaven grand and Heaven I do worry to much about my M O T H E R, because I know that she is in perfect hands. My only problem is that I can't remove the thoughts of her presents here on earth. I would want her to return to despair, because her life is better where she is. My M O T H E R is living inside me through day dreams that keeps repeating day in and day out. 

She is hard to forget, because of the amount of love I still have for her. Memories from this "Legend of Love" will never faulter my mind, because she will always live in my heart strongly and boldly without an ounce of despair interfering with my thoughts of my M O T H E R. She is a legend of love by her own accord, because she touched so many lives every where she turned. A 360 degree circumference; she completes one full circle of her lifetime. It is now complete. 

My M O T H E R S journey is complete upon this earth. She earned her wings of faith, of love, and endurance. I can't touch that until I make it to Heaven. I am working on my life so that I see my M O T H E R again beyond this lifetime. 🕊 M O T H E R...rest well in the hands of GOD and his son JESUS, and of the kingdom of Heaven, where she will spend eternity. 🕊

What Sow...Sow Shall I Reap

 Book 185 - Special Edition Post

Luke 6:38 - 38. Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.

Galatians 6:8 - 8. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. 

2 Corinthians 9:6 - 6. But this I say, He which sleety sparingly shall reap also sparingly and he which sleety bountiful my shall reap also bountifully.

  

I wrote a letter in memory of my parents. I mostly wrote about my M O T H E R and my indiscretions I had against her when she was alive. Now...I reap what I sow through my son Zachary. I deserve what GOD and his son JESUS raft which is inflicted on me. I am going to take it, because I deserve it for the way I treated my M O T H E R. She continue to love me so much. Before she left me, she was at peace, and she forgave me with peace. I asked GOD and his son JESUS for forgiveness for my M O T H E R, and now, I am at peace.

My letter as it reads: 

I have issues dealing with the death of my parents. I know in my heart that my F AT H E R was the most important key to my existence, but...my M O T H E R was a different form of importance. She was the one who gave me life; she was the one who provided me comfort and with the knowledge to do so. She was my hover over me when things got bad. She made sure I was alright, along with my F A T H E R say in this. She made sure I had everything I needed to live in this world. Along with my F A T H E R, my M O T H E R was my safety net without confusion of what to do next. 

I have been taught by the best of the best. I have nothing but memories of my parents. Those memories continued with rules and regulations; the law of GOD and his son JESUS put into my parents hearts to instill it in me, so that I could learn from my mistakes if there were any. I can say right now, that I appreciate everything that my parents did for me when they were alive and well. I had a few bad patches with my M O T H E R I never got a chance to apologize to her about. Yes, I was a bad person only by choice at the time. 

I use to bad mouth my M O T H E R. My sister would tell me all the time, "To never talk to our M O T H E R like I did, and I did it anyway." But...my M O T H E R kept loving me even though, and she just kept smiling, never letting what I did bother her. In her heart, mind, body, and soul, she had already forgiven me for what I done to her. My M O T H E R was at peace through GOD and his son JESUS almighty. She had already forgiven me for all of indiscretions. I live through my reaping everyday through my son Zachary. 

He was so rebellious to me. He talks back to me just as I did my M O T H E R. Zachary did what he wanted and still doing what he wants just as I did my M O T H E R. He yells and screams at me just as I did to my M O T H E R. "I get it now!" I get it. What I sow...sow shall I reap. 

My reaping days is here in a ten fold through my son Zachary. He is totally letting me have it! Now I have the memory of my M O T H E R telling me so. She told me numerous times that everything I did to her was going to come back to me. It's here and it is ten times worst than I imagined for the way I treated her. I did love my M O T H E R with every breath I took and with every ounce of strength I had in my body, but...I didn't show her at the time when I treated her wrong when she was living on this earth. 

But...she forgave me before she she left me. Then...I asked GOD and his son JESUS to forgive me for what I did to my M O T H E R, and everything she had been through with me. I was totally amber to my F A T H E R, but...my M O T H E R rode the storm with me, my F A T H E R, and everyone else who did her wrong, and she just kept smiling to the four winds. I can say this with comfort, and with peace in my heart, "GOD and his son JESUS has forgiven me for my M O T H E R, and my M O T H E R has forgiven me through GOD and his on JESUS." 

I can say and continuously say, "I am at peace with it and myself included. I love you M O T H E R, I love you F A T H E R. Rest well.with the angels.

My Real Live Presentation

 Book 175

Hebrews 11:1- 1. Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

Hebrews 11:6 - 6. But without faith it is impossible to please him for he that cometh to GOD must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.  

2 Corinthians 5:7 - 7. For we walk by faith, not by sight

I an getting ready for a presentation for my live "Reality Talk" v-log within a week. I feel that doing this live v-log presentation will help contribute and cope with the death of my M O T H E R and F A T H E R in a way I could feel better about them not being here on this earth. My Reality Talk live v-log presentation will be present on Facebook on November 8, 2020. In my live presentation, the topic: "What it is Like to be Different from the People you Love?" Since I will be asking my remaining immediate family members that question, I would like to know their input and how they feel about being different from our immediate family members and others alike. I hoping that my live presentation will inspire everyone who listens to it.

I have so much to say; so much to vent out when it comes to my F A T H E R especially, and my M O T H E R in the process. I would like to get the meat of this deal out in the open, just maybe, it would interest most of my viewer, or maybe, some of my viewers, it's depending on who will view my Reality Talk v-log. I am praying for a huge audience when that day comes. I feel very blessed to have my twin sister Sherri and my sister-in-law Neyome part of my upcoming presentation of "What it is Like to be Different from the People you Love." I am very excited about it! 

Sherri came over to her daughter's apartment in which I am resident to talk about our live v-log debut. She wanted to confirm our event and I was totally game. We talked about our "Reality Talk" v-log for just a brief moment before we went into another that was most important to us. We talked about how much my live presentation would help us cope with our M O T H E R S and F A T H E R S death and to help us to move on with our lives with only memories to back up what we had with our parents before their deaths. Sherri stayed only a hour with me, my son Zachary until my nephew Chris showed up after dropping his daughter off with her grandmother in Tampa. I enjoyed every minute of the time she spent with me and Zachary. I always do! 

Sherri left with her granddaughter Ta'Neisha. Zachary and I decided to continue to look at Cold Case. I really like that Television show. The network ROKL wants to take it out of their list of television shows and movies and I can't understand why when I love a specific television show, it is ripped from my imagination? I don't understand! But...I want go into this with a fine tooth comb. I don't want to lose all of my bristles. 

The thought of my Reality Talk live v-log was totally on my mind and I could not wait to do it on November 8. I also hope that we are all ready for it, and I hope that none of us mess during my live presentation. I want it to be perfect, but...nothing ever is. GOD and his son JESUS...pray for me, Sherri and Neyome to do a wonderful job and do our best to give a live Reality Talk v-log for our viewers on Facebook. 

Dealing With Consequences And Repercussions

 Book 173

Galatians 6:7 - 8 - 7. Be not deceived; GOD is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. 8. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the spirit shall of the spirit reap life everlasting. 

Romans 6:23 - 23. For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of GOD is eternal life through JESUS Christ our LORD. 

1 John 1:9 - 9. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 

I find myself in deep thought about my M O T H E R and all the things I did to her when she was living. I know I'm reaping the consequences of my actions, and the repercussions on how I really treated her when things were so bad during a brief period of time in my life. M O T H E R tried to tell me some things to abide by and to take heed to, but...I would not listen to some of the things she warned me about according to what effect it will have on my life. I know that I'm paying for it and then some. My M O T H E R thought I hated her because of her outbursts towards me, being that she was just a old woman set in her way.  

I should of taken the fact to heart that my M O T H E R was just an old woman set in her way of things and I never should have been so hard on her. I had a attitude problem, I admit that! I needed to straighten that in order to be humble towards my M O T H E R when she had one of her outbursts. When I think of her, sometimes I just want her to argue with me about anything. That's how much I miss her knowing that I would never have the luxury of a M O T H E R in her mortal body again. I can only have her in spirit and in my memory. 

I can wish that everyone who still have their M O T H E R will treat her like a Q U E E N. I challenge that with everyone who still have their M O T H E R. It is a hard thing to go through life without my M O T H E R, because...she was the root of all things that mattered to me. I just miss her so much and I can't seem to come to reality of her death. That is a hard thing to do when it comes to having a M O T H E R who really have been there for me and my siblings through thick and thin and still...she landed on her feet when she got tripped up by anyone who would always keep her unbalanced. This is why the death of my M O T H E R is eating me up. With all the things I did in my past, it has come back to haunt me in a way it keeps me in tears. 

This is my season for reaping and sowing for my actions. I am suffering the consequences and the repercussions of my actions. This is by the rules and regulations of GOD when he wrote the Ten Commandments; the fifth commandment: Exodus 20:12 - Honor thy Father and thy Mother that thy days will be longer upon the earth in which the LORD thy GOD giveth thee. I now think about that commandment knowing that my M O T H E R and F A T H E R is not here anymore, it is instilled in my heart forever. It is a commandment that I would always abide by and learn from.

The Pain Seems To Never Go Away

 Book 171

Revelation 21:4 - 4. And GOD shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

I don't think I will never get over the death of my M O T H E R as well as my F A T H E R. It is too hard to bare to even think about giving them up. I know in my heart that my pain will get better as the years go by without an ounce of forgetting that they were my parents. It is so hard on me when I heard that my M O T H E R had passed away for 45 minutes on that day of August 8. She was revived, because...the doctors and nursed did not have our permission not to revive her. I had wished that the doctor's and nurse's at that particular moment would of let my M O T H E R go so that she would not have any pain from her body hurting, or going through dialysis, no more sorrow, or crying again.

My sister Sherri, brother Wesley, and I needed to give that permission not to resuscitate our M O T H E R. That was the hardest thing that we ever had to do is to give that order. Sherri, Wesley, and I did not want our M O T H E R to suffer anymore than she had to. The order was given by my self to not resuscitate our M O T H E R, because...we as our own family unit did not want our M O T H E R to suffer. That was the reason when I went to the hospital that day on the 8th of August to make that decision to sign what took me ten minutes or more to sign those papers to remove the ventilator, the medicines that my M O T H E R  was hooked up to, and the compressors around her legs and arms. 

I did not want to stay and watch that after I signed the papers. I had the nurses assistant to remove me from the ICU (Intensive Care Unit) before they removed everything away from my M O T H E R, because...it would of been too painful to watch. I was on a journey with my sadness. I was wheeled in a wheelchair, because...I could not walk up to see my M O T H E R in ICU. I was wheeled all the way to my car and helped into it. My niece Ta'Neisha did the driving for me, because...I was not able to drive not even a little bit due to my grief. 

After the drive...I was met with Sherri, her husband Lorenzo, Wesley and his wife Neyome that day so that we all could wait for that phone call in grief about my M O T H E R S passing and to ask us what funeral home we wanted to place my M O T H E R in. That was so hard to do; it was hard on all of us to wait around for my M O T H E R S passing during the awful pandemic COVID 19 virus. It took only an hour after I came from seeing my M O T H E R in the hospital for the call to come through about her passing. My entire immediate family cried without the reluctance of shedding tears. Those tears were ever so real in our hearts for our M O T H E R. 

I would never forget that day of my family's grief. I was totally hard not grieve for the "Queen" who has given us so much love, so much comfort as my F A T H E R did as well. The pain will never go away from us no matter what we do or say. It will be hard to do even if Sherri, Wesley, and I and the rest of the family. I was only the start of a very long process for years to come. 

For My Father: Who Rides On Deception?

Book 155

2 Chronicles 29:35 - 35. And also the burnt offerings were in abundance with the fat of the peace offerings, and the drink of offerings for every burnt offering. So the service of the house of the LORD was set in order

Synopsis - Through my felling's I still have over my FATHER'S passing, my post expresses what I feel everyday of my life, when I can't stop thinking of my FATHER, and everything that has happen. One thing is certain I have GOD and his son JESUS in my life, and that's all I need to get through the day of my grief, my tears, my memories of my FATHER through and through.

I didn't feel the need to write about my FATHER throughout the month of February, even though, his birthday was in the month. I felt it was too painful to write about my FATHER until now. He is truly missed every hour of the day, day after day, month after month, year after year. I still can't fathom his passing, but...I've learned to deal with the way he went was so tragic. Why I say tragic?

The logic of my FATHER'S passing was beyond what I didn't expect until he told me what was happening to him before he went into a coma indefinitely. When he told me that "She's killing me" that and every ounce of anger in me took toll on my way of thinking, and my actions were well noted in this blog. I could never forget what I think Minnie Lou Wright did to her brother behind closed doors (maybe telling the hospice nurse to administer an overdose of morphine to my FATHER)  leaving my mother (my FATHER'S wife) myself, my twin sister Sherri, and my brother Wesley Jr. without knowledge of what's going on behind that closed door during the time his blood family (immediate) should of been by his side. That was why my FATHER said to my face, "She's killing me." That in itself will leave a scar with me for the rest of my life. 

"Wow beyond to those who do evil upon others" like myself, my mother Ruth, my twin sister Sherri and my brother Wesley Jr.. "What Minnie Lou sow...sow shall she reap all the conscequences, and all the repercussions of her actions towards us, and especially towards my FATHER ultimately." She maybe...or she claim that she is so 'holy' but her day is coming, thus saith the LORD thy GOD, and anyone else who was involved putting my immediate family through hell throughout my FATHER'S sickness. Thank GOD...I can now move on! I was hard not to think that this was my FATHER'S birthday month. 

All is done! What happened in the past...some say...should stay in the past. My FATHER is part of that past, and none of us can't bring him back to us. I continue to think about him a whole lot. Its hard not to under the circumstances revolving around his death. But...I'm trying to live each day with GOD and his son JESUS grace, trust, love, and faith in my pilots. 

Minnie Lou and all who was involved, will never rest easy until they apologize to my family for their foul odor of evil, their twisted bloody lies, and the Power of Attorney Minnie Lou had over my FATHER'S life in conflict over our lives. I want the world to know this about Minnie Lou and her gang of monsters who racked havoc and chaos over my immediate family lives. GOD and his son JESUS removes stumbling blocks out of the way, so the meek can prosper. I can finally deal with that!

When GOD And Is Son JESUS Fulfill Their Glory And Their Blessings

Book 151

Matthew 18:26 - 26. The servant therefore fell down, and worshipped him, saying, LORD, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. 


I sit everyday, and wonder about what our lives (the family) would be like on a manfold. It's difficult to say where our future lies when your basically homeless, and no where to go at that particular moment. But...you know what I thought? I thought about how good GOD and his son JESUS is when we knew, as a family that they have forseen our home, before we did. For me my self...I found it amazing what my pilots have done to forsee our future in an image (created by their own) eyes; they see our home, and where it is, and how it's going to be. Blessings fulfilled with greatness and glory.

Our faith is truly strong as Platinum is precious. We (the family) is holding on to faith, trust, belief, hope and grace. That's all that matter in a heartbeat. The people who were responsible for the demise of our lease, and for putting my family out of our home, because of us being on a month to month (without us knowing it) they will see it again when karma fulfill their consciousness, and their eyes will be opened as wide as the latitude would fulfill it width. We already know  our blessings will already be done in a manfold we (the family) will be happy.

GOD and his son JESUS is good all the time as we continue to live one day at a time with my niece, while she's out trucking her big ole 18 wheeler truck. We are very thankful for her giving us (our family) a place of residence for now. Nothing more could of made us more happier. As for Sheba Gold, our family dog, has a place of her own temporarily until we're able to receiver and give her awesome home setting with love. I know that we would be once again be together again (the family and Sheba Gold) whenever GOD and son JESUS say, "We can move now where they will provide us to be as our permanent residence...in the name of the Father (GOD) and in the name of the son (JESUS) and in the name of the Holy Ghost (in Spirit) that's all that matter to us."

When We Lease Expect It

Book 149

Job 36:17 - 17. But thou hast fulfilled the judgment of the wicked; judgement and justice take hold on thee. 

I never thought that this could happen to us in a man fold, but...our family can't do nothing about it now. Our situation can't even be won in court, even if we took a fine tooth comb through the facts of the matter when our lease was terminated. If we were not on a lease (when it was time for it to be renewed) and we are living month to month, then at any time the landlord had can relinquish their home and property back from us. That's what the judge would say! Yes...our family has a little under three weeks to vacate the premises.

What a bad situation to be in! But...with GOD almighty and his son JESUS in charge of our situation; what turns out to be a no win situation, can be a wonderful situation turned around by GOD almighty and his son JESUS to provide for his children at no cost. My family and I have already started packing some of our stuff, but...a little at a time until we're finished packing up the house. In a way...I'm kind of glad that we're moving (I suggested this months prior to our eviction notice, that we needed to go ahead and give up the two acres and the home, because of what ever issues the landlord had with the land the home is sitting on) but its specifically wrong time of the year to be moving out of a home with no money to spare after we (the family) had already paid the rent. Thanksgiving haven't reached our equation as of yet as I speak.

I know that my family and I will be fine once we find another home to live in, even if we don't have the money to move. This is where faith come in for all of us! This we can fathom its mystery, but...with belief unconditionally. So with this said, none of us are worried about the money, or where we're going to live, because we all know that GOD and his son JESUS are in charge of our situation. GOD'S vengeance will play a role in the landlord's decision to not require a lease for my family and I to sign off on, instead of living from month to month (in which the landlord set it up for our lease to be terminated) but...with this said, my family and I will relinquish their home and land back to them without a fight. Our move could be where the grass is greener, if GOD and his son JESUS will have every thing to do with this situation. Trusting and giving our situation to our pilots is the key to good living...when we get there.

When Demands Are Overrated

Book 148

Proverbs 3:6 - 6. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. 

                16:1 - 1. The preparations of the heart in man, and the answer of the tongue, is from the      LORD.

                16:9 - 9. A man's heart deciseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps. 

*I will keep this "girl" anonymous throughout my post



I'm starting to think that I had this girl wrong from the get go. I thought that she would change her tune about a whole lot of stuff, but...I was totally wrong when I comes her way of thinking about the consequences and the repercussions of her actions. Here's what happened! She tried to plan a birthday party for her son, which is common for someone who loves her son very much. But...here's the problem! She planned her son's birthday party without telling my twin sister Sherri and her husband about it.

So what is the verdict of the situation of this girl's son's birthday party? Well...here is the answer! I don't think Sherri was going to let this girl have the birthday party at our family home. Or at least...for now, being so that this girl's son's birthday party is tomorrow. Here's what I know. If you'r e going to plan something as important as birthday party, tell the person, or person's in charge, and are the heads of the home, and not plan anything ahead of self, if it can be helped.

I guess this girl thought she had more leverage than my twin sister and her husband to request her demands anytime she felt like dropping them like a dime on a catch. Common sense will tell her otherwise not to do what she did instantaneously without thinking ahead of herself, and making strong demands without telling my twin sister and her husband about her plan to have her son's  birthday party at our home. It's only logical to assume right and let my twin sister and her husband know extremely ahead of time, and not ahead of self, just like this girl has done. With this said, it would give awesome quality on our way of thinking that making demands is a way of life without suffering it consequences and the repercussions that comes along with those demands. Think twice and ask first before you place a demand cause you think you can anytime.

DITTO!!!!!

Our Lives In Purgatory

Book 144

2 Corinthians 5:10 - 10. For we must all appear before the judement seat of Christ; that everyone may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad.

Matthew 5:26 - 26. Verily I say unto thee, thous shalt by no means come out thence, till thou hast paid the uttermost farthing.

Revelation 20:12 - 12. And I saw the dead, samll and great, stand before GOD; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life; and the dead was judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works. 

When it's prudent to handle all of our troubles with such good judgment of those who have hurt us the most in our lives; I put so much wisdom in my heart to leave my troubles where they may lie and plan for the future to come...if so...in the name of JESUS to spare all of our lives. It's totally common sense to lay aside what was once was in our past, and let GOD and his son JESUS to fight "all" our battles with a vengeance. I had that chance to let go of my past, and live for what GOD and his son JESUS has in store for me. In order to get it right with my pilots, I have to have a certain purpose in my life in order for me to walk that narrow path towards righteousness. That's my resolution, to find that purpose in which it gives me divine glory to live each day without any flaws, even though...that would also be a challenge to work towards making things right in my life...with my pilots help.

A hard and demanding life to look forward to; and there is so much temptation out there just waiting to curve me back into damnation. I don't want to ever go that route again, and that's if I can help it! With this said, I had to give an example of an experience I had on the morning of September 11...the day....eighteen years later, after the towers of the World Trade Center, the Pentagon, and Shanksville, Pennsylvania fell to a terrorist attack. I was to be at a doctors appointment at 9:45 am, and I decided to go and get some breakfast from a fast food restaurant known as Krystal's. There...I was faced with a situation I was not expecting from a employee of this fast food chain.

I went in and ordered my usual breakfast: A sausage, egg, and cheese scrambler, orange juice and coffee. I proceeded to present my order to this employee....a woman with sort of a husky type build, tall, with short blue bobbed hair. At that particular moment...I was blinded by knowledge of this woman's actions, as she ignored my order as I gave it to her. I looked at her with a surprised look for the way she treated me and I said, "What did I do to deserve this...like I wasn't there, as she proceeded to the next register, and to converse with her friends briefly like I was totally invisible, like I didn't give her my order." She didn't even key in my order. It took a young woman (in the drive-thru) with respect for the customer to take my full order.

After my order was taken, I waited a little under five minutes for receive my order from this woman. She then...proceeded to fill my order. I decided to stay inside the restaurant to have my breakfast...until I found a problem with my scrambler. My breakfast bowl was half full; my scrambler only had the sausage and grits, but no eggs. So I carried my it back up to complain!

And in a sarcastic way, this woman asked me, "What's wrong?" I told her, "My scrambler looked half full, and I didn't have any eggs." She told me,"There is eggs in your scrambler." I went back to my table to check to see if I had any eggs in my scrambler, since she told me the eggs was in the bottom of the bowl, instead of the grits being at the bottom...the correct way.

I checked my scrambler with my spoon. I saw that there were no eggs present! I took my scrambler back to the counter to complain again. This woman asked, "What's wrong now in a sarcastic way?" I told her in a respectful way, "There were no eggs in my scrambler!" 

She looked at me in a way that will kill over if I were a opossum fiercely runned over with a car in the road. It took another respectful woman to accommodate me by filling my order completely. She gave me a side of eggs in my scrambler. I thanked her kindly for filling my order. My point was this, "When a person like myself experience ignorance at its entirety, I took it upon myself to turn the other cheek and look the other way as making a mends to not disrespect and act ignorant like this woman did, who seemed to me like she had a chip on her shoulder, just because I came into the restaurant (Krystal's) to order breakfast.

If my experience as a customer "hindered" her in a way when certain people (like myself) come into a restaurant (Krystal's) to order fast food...to this woman...customers like myself shouldn't be "beautiful on the inside and out" or "have a respectful mind to respect others as I would like to be respected for myself" than to have a "ghetto fascious mind with no common sense whatsoever" to give her attention (without judgment) to people like herself. I didn't deserve how I was treated just because I went into Krystal's to order breakfast was (to her) my indiscretion. I needed to present myself without being mad, or acting without haste. It in return...it gives me more leverage to do a good will in the name of GOD and his son JESUS. I that brief instance, I came out looking like a beautiful white rose, than the despair of a thorny bush in the brush on a warm sunny day.

It takes everything in ones power to get things right before the day of judgment day. I don't want to find myself left back in a time of despair with a blank look on my face, or finding out where I am and how I'm going find myself through that narrow path towards the passion of glory. I choose to look the other way without hesitation or haste, and from mistreating a person who has done nothing to me in anguish towards my better judgment. With that said, it brings me to a comment one of my ex. aunts said and how we really feel about her, when she thinks we (my brother, my sister and I) hate her. because of what she and everyone put us through during the time my FATHER was sick, and until he died. I nor my siblings, or my mother don't hold any grudges towards her, or either one of my ex. aunts and my ex. uncle and other people in my ex. family who acted with their indiscretions.

I choose not to talk to them, or have anything to do with them in order to keep down confusion, or any haste towards my extended family, I really hate it has to be this way, when a Power of Attorney with everyone's signature attached to it was the key to destruction of my extended family. At least two of them backed out of the Power of Attorney, because they said, "This is wrong! What you're doing is wrong to my brother's family." All this didn't have to be that way, if money was the resort of it taken to be their root of evil. I for one can't deal with the fact that it happened; GOD help me and continue to help me with my heart.

When You Love, You Love With Everlasting Love

Book 143

Jeremiah 31:3 - 3. The LORD hath appeared f old unto me, saying, Yea...I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with loving kindness have I drawn thee. 




First of all...I would like to give thanks to GOD and his son JESUS for life, health and strength. It's going to take everything in my power to write this post on such short notice. I've been thinking about my significant other a whole lot lately. Wow...there is so much I want to say about my feelings for him. I've never had anyone...besides my sons father...to love me like he does.

I can understand the over protection of me, but...it's like a lonely cloud in the sky with a whole lot of space within the atmosphere in which he travels within his heart for me. I sort of imagine a strong phenomenal Ora that surrounds his whole body with thoughts within that cloud that he has placed me in, and most of the time it creeps me out. "I know in my heart...for me, it's a honor to be thought of in such a romantic way!" But as usual...I still have some concern of his jealousy...even though, he has lighten up on that without so much control over my being. I love my significant other with all of my heart.

I even find myself slightly jealous of him, but without so much control over his life. We're "even" without so much of control over one another in our lives, and that's the way I like to keep it for as long as we live. Now I find myself living and longing for him each and every day of my life. We talk though an application within cyber space and thousands of miles between us. I know that one day we will meet face to face with the love that we share for one another in a heartbeat.

I no longer feel deprived of love everlasting. I truly believe I have my soul mate, my significant other, my love everlasting. I'm praying every day for this strong hold we have for one another, and that GOD and his son JESUS keep us together all the days of our live, and to continue to have the love that we will always share for one another...forever.

Love, Honor And To Be Trustworthy

Book 142

1 Corinthians 4:2 - 2. Moreover it is required in stewards, that a man be found.



* Using the word "him" keep his identify partially anonymous


I don't know what he want sometimes. I'm trying to accept the fact that he has a strong jealousy streak that's really beginning to push me away. I don't know what else to do to make him believe whatever I tell him. The majority of the time, I feel this since of him twisting everything around about what I tell him about my activities and he make it seem like I'm cheating, or doing things that I haven't gotten any business doing. It's like...I don't know what to do, or what to tell him that would make him understand me and what I do with my time, whether it's spending time with my family, or putting my thinking cap into my writing.

I'm doing everything in my power to not mess up (in other terms...f***) up what we have together...as though his thoughts became judgmental when it came to my three Facebook profiles that I have. One is a public profile...which I'm never posting, or sharing anything on, and the other two are profiles I have, they are private profiles. The first of my private profiles, I rarely never post onto it, but...only to share my blog posts to my Facebook Page: Author Terri Celestine Brunson.  That profile also has people on it (my ex. extended family) that I'm not associated with anymore, because of what happened to my FATHER, but...my Facebook pages: Author Terri Celestine Brunson and The Minorities are part of this first private profile and can never erase it. So with that said, I've decided to make another Facebook profile...keeping my ex extended family members away from it.

This profile...I do not use my last name, because of my ex. extended family history and bloodline. I don't want nothing to do with my last name, even though it is my bloodline. There...I have other pages that I share posts from my other blogs: Celestine's Coffee Cup,and The Chocolate Chronicles and Socialites Social Club, but...no writing on it's profile. My significant other thinks I'm hiding something from him by writing on all three of my profiles, or good as to say that I may have other people that I'm writing to and that's not at all the case. What I'm doing is sharing my work to my pages, because that's what I do.

Writing is what I do! I don't have time for Facebook, or its shenanigans in general. My love also states that I have accepted a man on my recent profile...the second private profile, that I didn't know was his friend, but...I don't associate with him at anytime, even though I accepted his friendship. I'm only human here and I'm getting my head bitten off by him, because I accepted a man of whom I don't associate with. With this said...I can't erase this profile, because my Facebook pages are on this recent profile...my second profile.

So what to do about how I feel about things when it comes to the man I love? Why do he find things to argue about? I'm doing everything in my power to support him; give him what he want and to love him unconditionally. It's like when he goes out to find things in and about my life that I had before we met, he doesn't approve of, he brings it to my attention, and then he argue with me about it. How do I cope with the fact I have a man with this jealous streak that I'm still afraid of?

I trying so hard not to break like glass, or fall to pieces like the leaves during the fall season. I love this man, but...he makes me feel like I got to be careful of everything I do. Just a brief second of my happiness and listening to my music, he told me not to screw up on him; or break his heart. Why would I want to screw anything up with us, or break his heart? What trust does he have in me to say what he said to me?

I'm truly hurting from the outburst he consumed on my conscience. So what I did...was to let him know to calm his demeanor and call it a early morning so I can do some thinking and write this post. Anytime I write a post it's about what I'm thinking and the state of mind I'm in. Even with my thoughts during the time I wrote about my FATHER on this blog site for years in order to cope with my heart of losing him, I'm writing about the man I love and where his mind is sometimes. Like I said, "I'm only human sometimes with what I do and did before I met him."

What I did in my life before I met him wasn't unfaithfulness, and I didn't have any other relationship other than my son's father. I didn't know I was going to experience being careful about everything I do. But...what I'm doing is only part of my honesty to him with out deception, or not to encounter any indiscretions of any sort. All I can do is to do my best and not keep anything a secret, or it will be an indiscretion I can't put myself out of. So with this said, "All I can do is talk to him and make him understand me for a change and what I'm about, so he doesn't think I'm cheating on him, or got secrets that I'm keeping from him. I also don't want be stuck in a situation to the point that he doesn't believe, or trust me, because I don't know what I do if he think that I can't be trusted, or if it's the other way around for me to think of him in the same manner otherwise.

"I'm only human, but...I'm sharing my honesty in return for his trust in me and my trust in him." Communication is the key to an understanding and why things happen, and how to mend what could be broken in the matter of our relationship!

Understanding Zachary's World

Book 141

Job 4:6 - 6. Is not this thy fear, thy confidence, thy hope, and the uprightness of thy ways. 

        31:24 - 24. If I have made gold my hope, or have said to the fine gold, thou art my confidence.

Psalms 118:8 - 8. It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man. 

Isaiah 30:15 - 15. For thus saith the LORD GOD, the Holy One of Israel; in returning and rest shall ye be saved; in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength; and ye would not. 

Acts 28:31 - 31. Preaching the kingdom of GOD, and teaching those things which concern the LORD JESUS Christ, with all confidence, no man forbidding him.

2 Corinthians 7:16 - 16. I rejoice therefore that I have confidence in you in all things. 

Galatians 5:10 - 10. I have confidence in you through the LORD, that ye will be none otherwise minded: but he that troubleth you shall bear his judgment, whosoever he be. 

I have a hard time putting the pieces of Zachary's puzzle together sometimes. It's hard to imagine the magnitude of which piece goes with which! What I'm trying to say is, when it comes to finding those different pieces of Zachary's puzzle, because it has to be put together by its color code, And from those pieces of Zachary's puzzle, I began to think about the various stages of his internal emotions that he's been dealing with for a brief period of time. For Zachary...it's being accepted where ever he goes, and what ever he does to be acknowledged for who he is. I figure that one piece of Zachary's puzzle will always make a difference in finding the cause  that triggered his internal emotions about being accepted on his football team.

And when that cause, it has  become a factor of what I'm trying to seek about my son's internal emotions, and I pray to GOD...whatever it may be, the answer will become my mission to figure out its mystery that has been plaguing my son for quite sometime, and for him being accepted as a young man with Autism on his football team; and  then I will see all the pieces of Zachary's puzzle come together correctly by its color code. I've watched some of the head coaches (one in particular) on (JV) Zachary's Junior Varsity team, place his favorite team players in positions they want to be in. I find that every time Zachary wants a certain position (Defense End... which is his strength and more action) he doesn't receive where his strength makes a difference and  it will become a factor of Zachary's goals that will lead him towards winning championships for his team. But...he is consistently placed on the offensive side of the field, where he doesn't want to be, because of the limited action the offensive side of the field gives with the option to block in order to protect the quarterback. The coaches lack of concern for Zachary, it has caused quite a bit of concern for me and for Zachary to accept the fact that this one head coach will put him where he's doesn't want to be to keep him out of the way of his favorite team players.

I'm not going to tolerate Zachary being ignored of the benefits of being where he want to be to accomplish his goal and determination of taking down the quarterback. This was why I felt that there will be many games lost because of crooked coaches who only want to keep their favorites team players in the midst of the field to win games, instead of placing good players (like my son) who I feel will take his football team to championships. Zachary is that player with determination and strength to do what he need to do to bring his football team towards championships, if he's given a chance to prove himself worthy of the position he could have as defensive end. It seems that I'm taken back to the last team Zachary hardly played on where he no real chances to play in any of the games, because he was always on the sideline...even at his practice too.

I always felt his Autism had everything to do with why Zachary was extremely limited to the amount of games he could play in. That's why I changed team organization with the feeling that the grass was greener on the other side of the goal line. I'm not going through another organization (and it's an excellent organization with the Lakeland Eagles) of crooked coaches. I would love to see one coach in the midst of other coaches that will give a darn about every last one of his team players and not just a few that are their personal favorites. I'm not tolerating it! Not another year.

I'm going acknowledge my feelings to the coach who is in fact, part of my problem when it comes to Zachary. Now I'm starting to see all the pieces of Zachary's puzzle coming together by color code. All I got to do is acknowledge my feelings to the coach that was giving me a lot of problems when it came to the position Zachary wanted to play. That last piece of the puzzle...the only piece...would fit nicely with all the other surrounding color coded pieces of Zachary's puzzle. His puzzle will be officially complete, and his internal emotions will be reduced with confidence in himself to strive for the goal he wants to achieve, and that's going after the quarterback.

Forgiveness With A Clean Slate

Book 139

Romans 5:3 - 8 - 3. And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also; knowing that tribulation worketh patience. 4. And patience, experience, and experience hope: 5. And hope maketh not ashamed, because the love of GOD is she'd abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given to us. 6. For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. 7. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die. 8. But GOD commendeth his love towards us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. 

Galatians 6:1 - 1. "Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault he which are Spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself lest thou also be tempted."


What is to forgive? The benefits are phenomenal when your forgive someone who meant you harm, and has done you wrong in so many ways. It''s only right to forgive in order to clean your slate of despair. Don't build up in your heart of the many things that you consistently consume against a person, or persons, because your thoughts alone will send you to Hades. It's better to forgive than to be bitter with that person, or persons who meant you harm.

When GOD forgives your sin, he doesn't put a mark on who he forgives. Committing sins and living in sin will make you dirty like a filthy rag on a pedestal. Seek in your heart the burden that kept you from seeking forgiveness for all of your sins, and find peace for the way you feel after forgiving that person you had indiscretions with. Forgiveness is the key to abundance...a true gain that will make you free from despair. Live life in a way that brings in a blank slate for success, without a mark of discrepancy.

Always forgive those who have sinned against you. You'll find yourself free of the guilt that kept you holding onto a very heavy weight. Free yourself of that weight, because you will feel lighter than you've ever felt and imagined. Clear your mind, your hear, and most definitely rebuild your soul abundantly from Hades.

The choice is yours to deal with if you want to live free of hate, grief and despair.

My Disclosed Revelation

Book 137

Isaiah 26:3 - 3. Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee because he trusteth in thee. 

John 14:27 - 27. Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. 

John 16:33 - 33. These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world. 

I find myself in an imaginable state. I start to wonder about my life sometimes; where it's going to lead, or how it's going to turn out for me in order to take it into the future. Not everyday is promised, but...I'm going to live one day at a time, as to where GOD sees fit for me to continue on. Somewhere in my mind, thoughts of my FATHER seem to occur to me almost instantly. No matter where I am, or what I do, thoughts of him seem to over take my entire imagination.

It will never be the same without my FATHER'S presents. I've learned to deal with what is hard for me to forget. I've totally settled that in my mind, just before I started to go crazy about the things I can't change. I don't want to consistently wallow in what was once was. I needed to carry on with my life as I see it.

When I look in a mirror, sometimes I see myself slightly unhappy, even if it's for a brief moment. My image faltered. It appeared to me as disfigured and unbalanced. If only I can find that smile somewhere within my disfigured and unbalanced face, I know I would feel better about moving on from my past and grief. And I have!

The image I see in the mirror has completely sharpened its contrast. I now see myself smiling more than I have ever smile. It's not so hard to do when a person like myself turn a frown into a vibrant smiley face. I don't want to keep wallowing in grief, nor my past. I want to keep on moving with all of the good memories disclosed I have of my FATHER. They are all I have to hold onto.

What's Love Got To Do With It When It Comes To Control

Book 135

Psalms 37:4 - 4. Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

1 Corinthians 10:13 - 13. There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but GOD is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

John 14:27 - 27. Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. 

Proverbs 5:18 - 19 - 18. Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. 19. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love

Proverbs 18:22 - 22. Whoso findeth a wife, findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.

 Matthew 19:5 - 5. And said, for this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh




I found myself in love once again, but...in a different angle I see fit to present to the public. I feel this man is different from my past relationship from my son's father. He wants a forever relationship,  marriage, and a baby to fit the bill. How can I compete with that...when I'm part of the plan? It's no game when I have a man that seem to love me only for myself and to love me totally unconditionally. But the problem is that I found that he's a bit jealous!

That in itself kind of bother me. I really have an issue when it comes to a man being a bit jealous, because anything and everything can lead to something I'm not willing to go through in my lifetime. I find myself in communication with him on the subject. The results are continuous. I keep asking my him why is he so jealous of me to a point that he watches me in what I do, what I say, or how I say it. He's says to me, its because...I love you so much.

I find it obvious that I'm a bit scared of him because of his jealous streak, but not totally confused about what I'm getting myself into with him. Then he says, "I promise I want hurt you in anyway, shape, or form. I promise to GOD...I want hurt you, hinder you, abuse you physically, mentally, emotionally, or verbally; and I promise I will not lift a finger to hit you." And then I thought...okay...I hear him, but...proving what he said to me must have all the benefits of a sincere and a "total" promise to me that he wouldn't do any of the things that he said he wouldn't do to me. I'm totally holding him completely responsible to his word when it comes to lifting a finger at me! 

When I think again...I don't want to be a prisoner in my relationship with this man, no matter what he said to me. All I know...he better mean what he say, and he better mean what he do to accommodate his promise to me as a whole. I know my options...and I'm going to way them with my best judgment that I can give myself. I'm going to say this though, "He's not at all a bad person, but...we're just starting out our relationship on a positive note. All I can do is pray for the best and I'll keep everyone updated.

I'm going to watch all the signs! That's what I'm going to do, and be cautious. Don't get me wrong, because...I really do love this man unconditionally.