Not Living In Persecution

 Book 195

Exodus 20:2-17 2. I am the LORD thy GOD, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. 3. Thou shalt have no other gods before me. 4. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. 5. Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy GOD am a jealous GOD, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; 6. And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments. 7. Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy GOD in vein; for the LORD will not hold the guiltless that taketh his name in vain. 8. Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. 9. Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work: 10. But the seventh day is the sabbath of the lord god: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates: 11. For in six days the LORD made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and the rested seventh day: where for the LORD bless the sabbath day, and hallowed it. 12. Honour thy Father and thy Mother: that thy days be long upon the earth which the LORD thy GOD giveth thee. 13. Thou shalt not kill. 14. Thou shalt not commit adultery. 15. Thou shalt not steal. 16. Thou shalt not bear false witness against they neighbor. 17. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox l, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbor's.

Sometimes I feel like everyone is against me for no reason, nor did I give them a reason to be so judgemental against me. Even though my siblings, nephews, and especially my niece are on the outside; and trying to look inside my thoughts, and they have no clue about what's going on with me, or how I feel about things, or know the flavor of my Kool Aid. My issue run deeper than an open wound, and it seems like everyone loves to pick at it like the center of a nucleus. I am not trying judge anyone in my family, but it's the way I feel sometimes when I feel everyone trying to nit pick an argument up for no reason, and I haven't cause any haste, nor done anything to no one,  and I am truly convinced. Anytime I feel the way I feel when I think my family trying to get me frustrated, especially my sister Sherri, only to start a argument with me, I start to pray. 

And then...I think of my M O T H E R when these provocative occurrences of anger my family is trying to inflict on me for no reason what so ever. I remember times when I did my M O T H E R wrong out of haste. I wasn't a perfect child to her, and I don't bite my tongue when I tell the truth about it.  No one is perfect in their sense of character. I did apologize to my M O T H E R the day she went to glory. 

But...I'm still reaping the consequences and the repercussions for my indiscretions and actions against my M O T H E R. Then I think of the book of Exodus 20:12, "Honour thy Father and thy Mother: that thy days may be long upon the earth which the LORD thy GOD giveth thee." The bible is fulfilling itself at its entirety. I know what I had to go through, and pray about, before I could receive fully salvation, and be forgiven for my sins, and my sins against my M O T H E R. Back to my family! All I ever wanted from my family, was to fit somewhere in the equation, and like a missing piece of a puzzle.

If I did anything wrong to anyone, I would to tell my family: I am truly sorry in the name of JESUS, my LORD. My pilots know I do not want any more haste with my family, nor with anyone else. I made my peace with my M O T H E R before she went to glory, and I know she forgave me a long time ago. I just want to live holy; laugh with my family every chance I get, and love my family for every second of every minute I live on this earth. "That's my destiny in a way life that we all should be living in the mist of GOD and his son JESUS."

Memories And A GODSEND To Our Family

 Book 195

John 8:42 - 42. JESUS said unto them, if GOD were your father, ye would love me; for I proceeded forth and came from GOD; neither came I of myself, but he sent me. 

My family and I find ourselves thinking of our parents a lot more than we want to. The reason why I said it the way I did, is because it's been hard on all of us in a sense of grieving. Our parents are still fresh in our minds, no matter what. What it is to do with these memories? That's hard to answer right now as I post. 

Our M O T H E R is the hardest one to forget, because she was such a beautiful and sweet woman. She always gave all of us her signature smile, no matter what she's been through in her life. That smile shines brighter than a LED light. My brother seems to have it the hardest, because I believe when he watch our M O T H E R get buried, he never got over see it happen. I wished he wouldn't have saw that happen. He is experiencing a hard time right now as I post. 

My twin sister on the other hand; she don't want me to mention our M O T H E R until she does, because...she seems to have days where she is thinking of our M O T H E R constantly without a break. She get headaches every time our M O T H E R is mentioned, and that can cause her to have seizures at any moment. Sherri wants to be the one that mentions our M O T H E R when she feels the notion to do so. I have my days when I just start crying when I have a memory of my M O T H E R out of the blue come upon me. It's so hard on me some times I cry out of control. 

I have problems with my blood pressure shooting up every time I have an episode. I also find that my niece and nephews have that time in their lives where my M O T H E R (their grandmother) come across their minds. They cry out of control! Even the littlest of people in my family have their days too. No matter how young a person is, my M O T H E R had a greater affect on them. 

She left her mark with us, and it would be with us for the rest of our natural lives. Sherri and I would work in our vegetable and herb garden, and all we think about is our parents. We talk to them when we go out and work in our garden, our F A T H E R mostly, because he is part of the reason why we can grow a lot of things. Our F A T H E R farmed in his days, and he did quite well with it. "It was his passion, as it is for us." 

Sherri and I talk mostly to him when we are gardening. Our sister in law Neyome, she helps keep all of sane. She is a total GODSEND by GOD and his son JESUS Christ. Neyome is a beautiful soul indeed. Our family in Canada my M O T H E R also had quite an affect on them when she traveled there during the winter season. 

Parents have an amazing affect on everyone lives when they are no longer a part of the equation. If anyone has experienced otherwise, you would know especially how we feel as a family. 

Once Twice The Indiscretions

 Book 194 

Romans 5:9 - 11 - 9. Much more them being justified by his blood we shall be saved from draft through him. 10. For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to GOD by the death of his son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by his life. 11. And not only so, but we also joy in GOD through our LORD JESUS Christ, by whom have now received the atonement. 

When a person like myself have a situation at hand when it comes to a sibling, you got to take the bitter with the sweet to get through the day without going crazy. This is how it is with me and my sister Sherri. She makes you so angry sometimes to a point, you want to peel her skull and not ruin her hair in the process. Yes, we are in a spat about WiFi Internet that I asked her nicely to for, Sherri acted like she didn't want me to access to it. I decided to go ahead and change my mind about having access to her WiFi Internet.

Then, all heck broke loose, because I changed my mind and decided to back out. I told her that, "I am not trying to start anything with her, but...I notice that she was not talking and that she looked like she wasn't feeling well." At that moment, Sherri had told me she had a headache. I was going to accept the fact that she had a headache, until she told me that I was evil, and that our M O T H E R was right about me being rough and mean to her. Sherri had brought back and opened up old wounds about my spats with our M O T H E R, that I simply apologized to her on her death bed, before she was released to the Kingdom of GOD. It seemed like every time we had a spat, she would throw our M O T H E R in my face about the spats we use to have. I felt that was wrong of her to do that to me, when I already made peace with my, before she died. 

Sherri other indiscretion was also throwing her husbands parents in my face so that they can get them upset with me for them to look at me any kind of way like I am trash. I wasn't going to take it anymore with my sister throwing people in my face, including our deceased M O T H E R because it was a low blow to me to use our M O T H E R in that manner. I told my brother Wesley about what she did. He was totally upset with Sherri that she would rehash and bring up old wounds about our M O T H E R and I having having spats, and throwing her husband Lorenzo parents in the mix to get them upset with me over our spat with each other. I wasn't going to take it no more with my sister throwing people in my face, the main one I loved so much in my face, because it was ludicrous, unfounded, and ignorant. 

That was when I started praying for Sherri about her actions, and the fact that she had a headache, and about the fact that I was concerned about her, because she wasn't talking at all throughout the morning. It was like she was taking her frustrations out on me, and accusing me for arguing with her and I wasn't raising my voice to her. I was totally shock at the way she was acting. I left well enough alone and let GOD handle her problem, whether if it was all of her medicine she's taking bothering her, or if she just had a bad attitude from the effects of her medicines. I don't know anymore! 

My whole demeanor had changed about her when it came to her throwing people, including our M O T H E R in my face, and then rehashing up old wounds. "I am done taking it!" 

A Real Family Coffee Cup Discussion

 Book 189

Luke 12:51 - 53 -  51. Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay, but rather division. 52. For from henceforth there shall be five in one house divided, three against two, and two against three. 53. The father shall be divided against the son, and the son against the father; the mother against the daughter, and the daughter against the mother; the mother in law against her daughter in law, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. 

When you deal with the deception of certain family members, your whole gets turned upside down and inside out without a care in the world. My immediate family found that fate after the death of my F A T H E R. When it came to my M O T H E R, I know what deception was when she died and hardly no one from my extended family bothered to show up at her funeral. If ever a time when I needed to have real family members there, I would of been totally accommodated. What was left of my immediate family was my sister, my brother, and myself.

Hardly no one from our extended family gave my sister Sherri, my brother Wesley, and myself the courtesy to even show us some kind of sympathy to at least show up at our M O T H E R S funeral. "What was up with that?" Love for my sister, brother, and I was just a mystery in a maze that I didn't want to find my way through. Every door I came up to...was a door of uncertainty on the other the other side of it. There was no love for my M O T H E R Ruth, even with her death.

The full emptiness of the short presents of people at my M O T H E R S funeral, showed me how important Sherri, Wesley, and I really were to our extended family. We thank GOD and his son JESUS for the few extended family and friends we did have at our M O T H E R S graveside service. It goes to show who "family" really is. No coffee cup discussions necessary for those extended family members who didn't even bother to show up at my M O T H E R S funeral.

With this said, no coffee cup discussion is worth the hassle when you have people (extended family members) who really love you. That's fine if my M O T H E R S graveside service did have many people to come and pay their last respects to her. Our memories will always extend from the sky to the horizon for my M O T H E R. So "Rest up ole girl" because we love you forever and always. 

What Sow...Sow Shall I Reap

 Book 185 - Special Edition Post

Luke 6:38 - 38. Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.

Galatians 6:8 - 8. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. 

2 Corinthians 9:6 - 6. But this I say, He which sleety sparingly shall reap also sparingly and he which sleety bountiful my shall reap also bountifully.

  

I wrote a letter in memory of my parents. I mostly wrote about my M O T H E R and my indiscretions I had against her when she was alive. Now...I reap what I sow through my son Zachary. I deserve what GOD and his son JESUS raft which is inflicted on me. I am going to take it, because I deserve it for the way I treated my M O T H E R. She continue to love me so much. Before she left me, she was at peace, and she forgave me with peace. I asked GOD and his son JESUS for forgiveness for my M O T H E R, and now, I am at peace.

My letter as it reads: 

I have issues dealing with the death of my parents. I know in my heart that my F AT H E R was the most important key to my existence, but...my M O T H E R was a different form of importance. She was the one who gave me life; she was the one who provided me comfort and with the knowledge to do so. She was my hover over me when things got bad. She made sure I was alright, along with my F A T H E R say in this. She made sure I had everything I needed to live in this world. Along with my F A T H E R, my M O T H E R was my safety net without confusion of what to do next. 

I have been taught by the best of the best. I have nothing but memories of my parents. Those memories continued with rules and regulations; the law of GOD and his son JESUS put into my parents hearts to instill it in me, so that I could learn from my mistakes if there were any. I can say right now, that I appreciate everything that my parents did for me when they were alive and well. I had a few bad patches with my M O T H E R I never got a chance to apologize to her about. Yes, I was a bad person only by choice at the time. 

I use to bad mouth my M O T H E R. My sister would tell me all the time, "To never talk to our M O T H E R like I did, and I did it anyway." But...my M O T H E R kept loving me even though, and she just kept smiling, never letting what I did bother her. In her heart, mind, body, and soul, she had already forgiven me for what I done to her. My M O T H E R was at peace through GOD and his son JESUS almighty. She had already forgiven me for all of indiscretions. I live through my reaping everyday through my son Zachary. 

He was so rebellious to me. He talks back to me just as I did my M O T H E R. Zachary did what he wanted and still doing what he wants just as I did my M O T H E R. He yells and screams at me just as I did to my M O T H E R. "I get it now!" I get it. What I sow...sow shall I reap. 

My reaping days is here in a ten fold through my son Zachary. He is totally letting me have it! Now I have the memory of my M O T H E R telling me so. She told me numerous times that everything I did to her was going to come back to me. It's here and it is ten times worst than I imagined for the way I treated her. I did love my M O T H E R with every breath I took and with every ounce of strength I had in my body, but...I didn't show her at the time when I treated her wrong when she was living on this earth. 

But...she forgave me before she she left me. Then...I asked GOD and his son JESUS to forgive me for what I did to my M O T H E R, and everything she had been through with me. I was totally amber to my F A T H E R, but...my M O T H E R rode the storm with me, my F A T H E R, and everyone else who did her wrong, and she just kept smiling to the four winds. I can say this with comfort, and with peace in my heart, "GOD and his son JESUS has forgiven me for my M O T H E R, and my M O T H E R has forgiven me through GOD and his on JESUS." 

I can say and continuously say, "I am at peace with it and myself included. I love you M O T H E R, I love you F A T H E R. Rest well.with the angels.

An Author's Successful Journey

 Book 184

Joshua 1:8 - 8. This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according g to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt .and thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have success. 

What good webs I weave into existence. My son Zachary and I lives are about to change forever, certainly with GOD and his son JESUS ahead of all the things Zachary and I are about to do. It is a big deal for me, because I have never experienced anything like having a movie adapted from my first book, "The Minorities, The Pilot". The right of course; from my book will be asked in permission to script my book at its entirety. I for one will be giving that permission to the production companies that are interested in my work. 

There are two production companies: Chad Conley Productions and Kaoticklone Productions. I am beyond excited and totally blessed to have those production company's interest in my work. I know that I am patient in waiting for both production companies to ask for the rights of my book, so that " The Minorities, Pilot can be produced. I know in fact that my F A T H E R and M O T H E R would be happy if they could see my potential success, but...in memory of my parents, I know that they are proud of me. 🕊 My GOD and his son JESUS...may they rest in peace. 🕊

GOD and his JESUS has blessed me so much in my life. I should have saw all the blessings that my pilots have dwelled throughout the extent of my life. I am no longer blind to see what GOD and his son JESUS has been giving me. The gift of writing has led me into a world I never thought existed. It's no longer a fantasy to me. 

This is for real! A movie adaptation is not just fun and game. It's coming to my presence and its journey into the future. Hallelujah... praise GOD and his son JESUS for giving me the opportunity to shine like the mirror I can look into completely without a smudge or streak. Hallelujah...praise GOD for giving me this chance for an opportunity of a lifetime. My F A T H E R and M O T H E R would have been totally proud to see me make a difference, not only for myself, but...for my son Zachary as well.

Just Reminiscing Life

 Book 176

Genesis 19:17 - 17. And it came to pass, when they had brought them forth abroad, that he said, Escape for they life; look not behind thee, neither stay thou in all the plain; escape to the mountain lest thou be consumed. 

Genesis 45:5 - 5. Now therefore be not grieved, nor angry with yourselves, that ye sold me hither; for GOD did send me before you to preserve life. 

Maybe I should stop talking about my M O T H E R for a while, because I like to keep a non grieving head on my shoulders. Don't get me wrong, but...everyone has a right to grieve for their loved ones. It is just I get so tired of crying my eyes out each and everyday. Yes, I do miss my M O T H E R very much; just as much as I miss my F A T H E R. I am trying to find something else to talk about here on this blog of mines.

Let's see...what to say? Perhaps, let me talk about why I am still up so late in the wee hours of the morning? I answer is obvious! My insomnia is acting up! Most of the times I cannot sleep, especially with the anxiety attacks I have to the point I awake out of my sleep and I cannot breathe sometimes. 

I have to take deep breathes to regain consciousness; and I find myself blessed to have received my consciousness required by GOD and his son JESUS. Thank GOD and his son JESUS I took my meds. Sometimes I miss taking my meds and I find myself not thinking about the importance in taking my meds. GOD and his son JESUS show me that I need to take better care of myself and balance my diabetes, so that my A1C's can resume a 6 or 7 on the charts and those are the best readings. Sometimes I do think of my M O T H E R and how she kept herself up with her diabetes and other underline issues she had just before she had her stroke unto her death. 

I am so thankful to GOD and his son JESUS for giving me that chance to live, but...I need to take better care of myself, so that I don't end killing myself. GOD and his son JESUS is good all the time. I am going to work on myself and get better with my diabetes. I think I am going to make this post short and I think I will get ready and prepare myself for bed, because...I am a bit tired and sleepy. I had to talk about myself and not so much about my M O T H E R and F A T H E R, even though I miss them very much.

Dealing With Consequences And Repercussions

 Book 173

Galatians 6:7 - 8 - 7. Be not deceived; GOD is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. 8. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the spirit shall of the spirit reap life everlasting. 

Romans 6:23 - 23. For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of GOD is eternal life through JESUS Christ our LORD. 

1 John 1:9 - 9. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 

I find myself in deep thought about my M O T H E R and all the things I did to her when she was living. I know I'm reaping the consequences of my actions, and the repercussions on how I really treated her when things were so bad during a brief period of time in my life. M O T H E R tried to tell me some things to abide by and to take heed to, but...I would not listen to some of the things she warned me about according to what effect it will have on my life. I know that I'm paying for it and then some. My M O T H E R thought I hated her because of her outbursts towards me, being that she was just a old woman set in her way.  

I should of taken the fact to heart that my M O T H E R was just an old woman set in her way of things and I never should have been so hard on her. I had a attitude problem, I admit that! I needed to straighten that in order to be humble towards my M O T H E R when she had one of her outbursts. When I think of her, sometimes I just want her to argue with me about anything. That's how much I miss her knowing that I would never have the luxury of a M O T H E R in her mortal body again. I can only have her in spirit and in my memory. 

I can wish that everyone who still have their M O T H E R will treat her like a Q U E E N. I challenge that with everyone who still have their M O T H E R. It is a hard thing to go through life without my M O T H E R, because...she was the root of all things that mattered to me. I just miss her so much and I can't seem to come to reality of her death. That is a hard thing to do when it comes to having a M O T H E R who really have been there for me and my siblings through thick and thin and still...she landed on her feet when she got tripped up by anyone who would always keep her unbalanced. This is why the death of my M O T H E R is eating me up. With all the things I did in my past, it has come back to haunt me in a way it keeps me in tears. 

This is my season for reaping and sowing for my actions. I am suffering the consequences and the repercussions of my actions. This is by the rules and regulations of GOD when he wrote the Ten Commandments; the fifth commandment: Exodus 20:12 - Honor thy Father and thy Mother that thy days will be longer upon the earth in which the LORD thy GOD giveth thee. I now think about that commandment knowing that my M O T H E R and F A T H E R is not here anymore, it is instilled in my heart forever. It is a commandment that I would always abide by and learn from.

A Huge Bit Of Happiness

Book 165 - Special Edition Happiness Post

Ecclesiastes 3:12-13 - 12. I know that there is no good in them, but for a man to rejoice, and to do good in his life. 13. And also that every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labour, it is the gift of GOD. 

Ecclesiastes 7:14 - 14. In the day of prosperity be joyful, but in the day of adversity consider; GOD also hath set the one over against the other, to the end that man should find nothing after him. 

Isaiah 26:3-4 - 3. Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee; because he trusteth in thee. 4. For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil. to give you an expected end. 

Jeremiah 29:11 - 11. For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. 

This was what I wanted in a nutshell. Who wants to be sad about everything in their lives? I know that I have been through a lot of hardships in my life. In one instance, and I feel that I'm slightly healed from it was the death of my FATHER, but...not so much to the point I can say, "I'm completely healed." I would rather be happy about life, than to wallow in my grief for my FATHER. I am happy about an opportunity that I was introduced to.

I got a chance to make my book, "The Minorities" shine like a mirror. I got an opportunity to pitch my book to Hollywood Producers and I am totally excited about it. Who will get this chance of lifetime and throw it away? People in general ask questions about how much it cost to take that journey towards success. I do not care about the costs, even though I do not have the money to pay for my journey. 

But...I know GOD and his son JESUS will walk ahead of me in my journey towards pitching my book to Hollywood Producers. This was a one and a chance of a lifetime and I do not want to pass it up, even though I do not have all the funds I need to move on. GOD got my journey; he will provide for me through my journey! I know I have not been consistent with my tithes to the church, because of my hardships, but...hope that GOD and his son JESUS will take care of me every step of the way. I am determined to be happy, be glad, and be thankful to GOD and his son JESUS for bringing me thus far in my new career. 

I am very determined to make it, and not fake it. My opportunity is too important to let go. I thank GOD and his son JESUS for it. I am so happy and totally excited about my journey in pitching my book "The Minorities." I also have another book that I am getting ready to publish. I have already started the process in doing so. My sequel to The Minorities will also make its spot to be pitched by Hollywood Producers. 

I am on a roll with getting my book noticed worldwide and there is nothing that would stop me, but...GOD and his son JESUS, and I acknowledge that very much. I will make it and be successful.I feel in my faith, my trust, and confidence. I am getting ready to introduce my third book and I hope that it get picked up by Hollywood Producers as well. I am totally happy, proud of myself as I make this  journey and I will take  GOD and his JESUS with me all the way. 

Happiness Is Where The Heart Is

Book 164

2 Corinthians 13:11 - 11. Finally, brethren, farewell. Be perfect, be of good comfort, be of one mind, live in peace; and the GOD of love and peace shall be with you. 

Jude 1:2 - 2. Mercy unto you, and peace, and love, be multiplied. 


*Link to COVID19 is available in my post.

I'm getting ready to make my post be known by everyone who's viewing it. I find myself consistently walking on egg shells; and I'm listening to every crack those shells make as I walk into a depressive state in my life that I feel everyday. My niece gives me every reason to think this, because of the way she walks around the house, and not a word to me the whole time she's off her truck route. But...I decided to start ignoring those possibilities of being ignored by my niece, and move on with my life, until I find a place of my own with my son Zachary. I can't let my niece continue breaking my down to the point of being depressed all the time, and me, consistently walking on egg shells to her ignorance of me being the best aunt she could ever had, since I was the one who co-signed for her to go to trucking school.

I just got tired of being the cast off, and the ghost of the unknown, which would be the main reason why I'm writing this post. I want to move on from this, and not feeling sorry for myself, or someone else feeling sorry for me. I'm starting my day off with getting dressed, and ready for my day. I'm thinking about going over to my brother-in-law mother's house, because there is where I feel the happiest. No negatives allowed there!

I was glad of that! I'm a hop, skip, and a jump away of walking out the door to go and visit my brother-in-law, Lorenzo, my twin sister, Sherri, and my mother, Ruth, and the rest of the family. The journey over to my brother-in-law mother's house, took me through a time of happiness and joy for the first time in five months since my family and I moved in with my niece. About ten minutes later, I arrived at my brother-in-law's mother house with "polar pops" and snacks ready to start my day with my immediate family. Zachary and I were there not only for a family get together, we were there for a fish fry as well. I had to pitch in to by the fish for our fish fry.

My brother-in-law Lorenzo, my twin sister Sherri, my mother Ruth, my great niece Ta'Neisha, and my brother-in-law father Maxwell decided to go together to the fish market to buy fish. Our journey took at least thirty-minutes to forty minutes to reach our destination, depending on the traffic. As we arrived, we found a line outside of the fish market. With the COVID19 going on, for all of our safety, social distancing was the main priority to keep us all safely distant from one another. It was six persons at a time to enter into the fish market.

It took no more than fifteen minutes tops, for Lorenzo and I to enter into the fish market by escort. We had a very huge order; three pounds of tilapia, and five mullets pan fry and ready to go. I took about another twenty to twenty-five minutes for the prep guys inside to clean and prepare the fish. Lorenzo and I had to wait outside until the fish is cleaned and ready for me to pay and pick up the fish and four orders of imitation crab meat. After twenty-five minutes passed, Lorenzo and I entered the fish market by escort so that I can pay for and pick up our fish order. 

Afterwards...my family and I started our journey back to my brother-in-law's mother's house in time for our fish fry. It was the greatest time Zachary and I will ever have just spending time with immediate family, and having the grandest fish fry in the many months since we moved in with my niece. 

   

Walking Towards Redemption

Book 163

Proverbs 20:5 - 5. Counsel in the heart of man is like deep water, but...a man of understanding will draw it out. 

Psalms 69:14 - 14. Deliver me out of the more, and let me not sink: let me be delivered from them that hate me, and out of the deep waters. 

Caution: The identities of my niece and nephew are protected under the love I have for them. Readers discression advised! 


More likely, the force is with me in the matter of my status as a unloved aunt with a lot of emotions that has mentally engulped life as far as I saw it. Too much time has passed, and it seemed like nothing is getting better with my relationship with...especially my niece. My nephew on the other hand...still has mixed feelings about me, and the relationship is still a bit estranged in a whole lot of ways. They hardly talk to me about anything, no matter what that may be, they just don't talk to me period. They don't talk about their problems to me, nor do they give me a hint of what's going on in their lives.

What did I do to deserve such attitude? I know I've had some faults that I attend to address on my own, and with no fault of my own, but...will make available upon request. What I can suggest in the matter of my two silent parties (niece and nephew) is that I spot the complete ingredients of  selfishness, and a ton of non compassion for me from the both of them. I'm getting so tired of the silent, but...double silent drama. It has taken toll on my life as a mature adult who has been on the peak of the mountain, and I'm starting to climb down with a lot of caution that I don't get tripped up in my emotions that I feel.

What double webs are weaved several times over the doubts I feel? I questions it with a vengeance! And yet...I find myself in tears most of the time when I'm alone with these thoughts dancing around in my head. My steps are light as I continue to walk on egg shells when it comes to my niece and nephew's corrupt attitudes towards me. I know that someday, I will get answers, and why with my conscience they seem to carry this love/hate relationship with me.

My requiring mind really want to know why is this happening to me, after all I've done for my niece and nephew. And sometimes I wish that my twin sister and her husband would open their eyes and see the emotions I've dealt with concerning their children.

Let's Be Honest About The Things We Should Be Honest About!

Book 158

2 Corinthians 4:2 - 2. But have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, nor handing the word of GOD deceitfully; but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of GOD.

1 Timothy 2:2 - 2. For kings, and for all that are in authority that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty. 

What more can I do about the situation I'm in with Alrick. He doesn't really understand what I'm trying to do to make his surprise more exciting. But...I told my twin sister Sherri to forget his surprise, and go with what I have with the money to Jamaica. $2,500 dollars to be exact! For me...I feel what I told my sister (to forget the surprise) will be a learning lesson for Alrick, to never doubt what I'm trying to do to make things better for us in Jamaica.

I know in my heart that he'll be upset with me, as he always have been, for a week; in and out of one argument to the next, and its about the money. How will I tell Alrick about the money I had in the bank for my trip to Jamaica? How will I tell him that I'm very short of the amount I said I had? How will I tell him that I had to use most of the money for things I had to do that were very important? I've kept this secret in far too long to let him know why my trip is prolonged.

When I told him about my sister and her husband Lorenzo had to cancel their trip to Las Vegas, Nevada, because of the "Corona Virus" that's lingering around the entire world, and that my son Zachary will not be home alone after all, he snapped on me in a heartbeat. We argued for at least an hour and a half about my sister and her husband's cancellation of their trip, and I don't why that was. I knew for sure that Alrick was going to ask me about their money, and the money I had in the bank. This was why I couldn't tell him about the money in the bank, because I'm very short of cash, and I need a little more to equal the amount I'm bringing to Jamaica (that my sister and her husband are going to give to me) instead of Alrick's surprise that I had in store for him. With all the arguments we had, is the reason I told my sister to cancel Alrick's surprise, and I didn't tell her why I cancelled the surprise.

Like I stated at the beginning of this post, "Cancellation of the surprise will be a learning lesson for Alrick" to never doubt me about anything I'm trying to do to make our lives better. That is the repercussions that one must endure for their attitude, spasms, and mayhem that was inflicted on me. But...most part, I deserve most of the problems that were inflicted on me for not telling Alrick about the money I had in the bank, and that it wasn't enough to really do anything, like taking care of the house the Alrick had reserved for us in Jamaica. I pray the house is still there in the name of JESUS! LORD I pray that it's still there 'reserved' for us to have for the entire month I will be in Jamaica.

I hope that Alrick will forgive me for everything I put him through. For the amount of love that he give me unconditionally, I really need to change my ways, as he stated to me in a conversation we had over a week ago, I believe. I guess I never had that kind of love before, not even with my son's father. I know now how important I am to Alrick. I admit to all the problems I cause Alrick for not disclosing the truth about the money I had in the bank.

I guess I felt...I was most afraid that I would lose my "sweet boy" who's all man for his age...over twenty plus years my senior. I guess I was to...testing myself to see how much this man love me. But still...I'm so afraid I will lose my sweet boy! I pray that he allow me to still come and be with him as his wife in Jamaica. I can only hope when he read this post if the offer still stand and that he will still love me, and be his wife. This is a learning lesson for me as well!

"Well...I had to express myself on 'electronic paper' to prove a point to my fiance, because I couldn't tell him to his face in fear that he would leave me." 

When Our Lives Is About Unconditional Love And Happiness

Book 157 - Special Edition Post

1 Peter 3:7 - 7. LIkewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. 

Ephesians 5:31 - 31. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.



I've learned so much about my life in one heartbeat after another. I found myself in a midlife crisis, and it was hard for me to believe that I can act out of malice and self pity over things that was not necessary to argue about. My fiance Alrick and I had a terrible argument about doing thinks that mattered to both of us. And for no apparent reason, I started an argument about money, and other things that I don't care to explain, because it's too private to talk about. I was very mean and nasty to Alrick, and I felt so ashamed of myself for carrying on like I did.

I did apologize to my Alrick for my totally ugly behavior. It's just...I don't want to lose what I have with him. I trying to make my way into his heart and into his arms in Jamaica by the end of this month. I just hope that nothing out of the ordinary come up, or I don't let him down, because I've already changed plans from the middle of the month (on the 15th) to the end of month on the 31st of March. I just hope I don't disappoint him! And...I don't want him to be upset with me if something comes up and I can't make the trip at the end of the month.

I'm really praying to GOD and his son JESUS to make it happen for me to travel (even with the Corona Virus) that's going around, I know that my GOD and his son JESUS will put a shield of protection around me as I travel to Jamaica. I know I will be covered in the name of my pilots above. "Please GOD, let me make my trip to Jamaica without anymore problems, or delays." I've delayed Alrick enough to want to be there in Jamaica, and in his arms as soon as I get off of my plane. Please GOD...let it be for me to travel and be with Alrick, and we get married, conceive our baby, and move on with our lives as we see it.

I know it will be beautiful! Alrick love's me more than himself put together. He has shown me more than twice, more than I can count. Communication is a must, as well as trust for one another with honesty without holding back. I give my life to Alrick, as I live it without haste and anger.

I love him so much; even more than myself. Alrick and I will always love unconditionally! 😍😘🙏 "Father GOD...in you holy and blessed name, I pray for Alrick and I, that we make it in our marriage, and that we shall prosper with our lives as we see fit with you ahead of all things that we will go through as husband and wife." We will have problems; we will go through battles fought in wars that we can win together; we can strive and mend our relationship with communication, trust, faith, hope and glory and that we solve our problems in a instant; we will continue to live by your word, I pray...amen. 

Resolutions Are A Blessing To Be Alive

Book 153

Hebrews 12:2 - 2. Looking into Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the shame and is set down at the right hand of the throne of GOD.

 

My family and I are about to celebrate New Year's Day, I'm still not about resolutions into the future, because you never know what the future will hold. I'm into saying, "If GOD spare all of our lives through into the next year", because we all don't know if another day is promised. So...I take one day at a time, and pray for another day; an extra day of life to come. I think about what my family and I are going to do for the New Year. No plans are in the making, if GOD spare all of our lives, only living for today.

There is no resolution for today, or any other day in which GOD has given to us. I do believe my family and I will do a little feast...a family tradition that is still in effect today. I don't know why our tradition is made for making a pot of black eye peas and greens, or what it will bring to the New Year, or what it means, but it's our tradition. And it will continue until there is no one else to continue it's tradition.

This post was dated back in December. I never got chance to publish right away, because of my family's set backs, and moving into my niece Octavia's home has left us with complete homelessness. We didn't ask to be homeless, but...I thank GOD and his son JESUS for life, health and strength. Nothing more can be a blessing, but...to have my niece to give her immediate family a place to stay, and we're thankful for it.

When We Lease Expect It

Book 149

Job 36:17 - 17. But thou hast fulfilled the judgment of the wicked; judgement and justice take hold on thee. 

I never thought that this could happen to us in a man fold, but...our family can't do nothing about it now. Our situation can't even be won in court, even if we took a fine tooth comb through the facts of the matter when our lease was terminated. If we were not on a lease (when it was time for it to be renewed) and we are living month to month, then at any time the landlord had can relinquish their home and property back from us. That's what the judge would say! Yes...our family has a little under three weeks to vacate the premises.

What a bad situation to be in! But...with GOD almighty and his son JESUS in charge of our situation; what turns out to be a no win situation, can be a wonderful situation turned around by GOD almighty and his son JESUS to provide for his children at no cost. My family and I have already started packing some of our stuff, but...a little at a time until we're finished packing up the house. In a way...I'm kind of glad that we're moving (I suggested this months prior to our eviction notice, that we needed to go ahead and give up the two acres and the home, because of what ever issues the landlord had with the land the home is sitting on) but its specifically wrong time of the year to be moving out of a home with no money to spare after we (the family) had already paid the rent. Thanksgiving haven't reached our equation as of yet as I speak.

I know that my family and I will be fine once we find another home to live in, even if we don't have the money to move. This is where faith come in for all of us! This we can fathom its mystery, but...with belief unconditionally. So with this said, none of us are worried about the money, or where we're going to live, because we all know that GOD and his son JESUS are in charge of our situation. GOD'S vengeance will play a role in the landlord's decision to not require a lease for my family and I to sign off on, instead of living from month to month (in which the landlord set it up for our lease to be terminated) but...with this said, my family and I will relinquish their home and land back to them without a fight. Our move could be where the grass is greener, if GOD and his son JESUS will have every thing to do with this situation. Trusting and giving our situation to our pilots is the key to good living...when we get there.

Love, Honor And To Be Trustworthy

Book 142

1 Corinthians 4:2 - 2. Moreover it is required in stewards, that a man be found.



* Using the word "him" keep his identify partially anonymous


I don't know what he want sometimes. I'm trying to accept the fact that he has a strong jealousy streak that's really beginning to push me away. I don't know what else to do to make him believe whatever I tell him. The majority of the time, I feel this since of him twisting everything around about what I tell him about my activities and he make it seem like I'm cheating, or doing things that I haven't gotten any business doing. It's like...I don't know what to do, or what to tell him that would make him understand me and what I do with my time, whether it's spending time with my family, or putting my thinking cap into my writing.

I'm doing everything in my power to not mess up (in other terms...f***) up what we have together...as though his thoughts became judgmental when it came to my three Facebook profiles that I have. One is a public profile...which I'm never posting, or sharing anything on, and the other two are profiles I have, they are private profiles. The first of my private profiles, I rarely never post onto it, but...only to share my blog posts to my Facebook Page: Author Terri Celestine Brunson.  That profile also has people on it (my ex. extended family) that I'm not associated with anymore, because of what happened to my FATHER, but...my Facebook pages: Author Terri Celestine Brunson and The Minorities are part of this first private profile and can never erase it. So with that said, I've decided to make another Facebook profile...keeping my ex extended family members away from it.

This profile...I do not use my last name, because of my ex. extended family history and bloodline. I don't want nothing to do with my last name, even though it is my bloodline. There...I have other pages that I share posts from my other blogs: Celestine's Coffee Cup,and The Chocolate Chronicles and Socialites Social Club, but...no writing on it's profile. My significant other thinks I'm hiding something from him by writing on all three of my profiles, or good as to say that I may have other people that I'm writing to and that's not at all the case. What I'm doing is sharing my work to my pages, because that's what I do.

Writing is what I do! I don't have time for Facebook, or its shenanigans in general. My love also states that I have accepted a man on my recent profile...the second private profile, that I didn't know was his friend, but...I don't associate with him at anytime, even though I accepted his friendship. I'm only human here and I'm getting my head bitten off by him, because I accepted a man of whom I don't associate with. With this said...I can't erase this profile, because my Facebook pages are on this recent profile...my second profile.

So what to do about how I feel about things when it comes to the man I love? Why do he find things to argue about? I'm doing everything in my power to support him; give him what he want and to love him unconditionally. It's like when he goes out to find things in and about my life that I had before we met, he doesn't approve of, he brings it to my attention, and then he argue with me about it. How do I cope with the fact I have a man with this jealous streak that I'm still afraid of?

I trying so hard not to break like glass, or fall to pieces like the leaves during the fall season. I love this man, but...he makes me feel like I got to be careful of everything I do. Just a brief second of my happiness and listening to my music, he told me not to screw up on him; or break his heart. Why would I want to screw anything up with us, or break his heart? What trust does he have in me to say what he said to me?

I'm truly hurting from the outburst he consumed on my conscience. So what I did...was to let him know to calm his demeanor and call it a early morning so I can do some thinking and write this post. Anytime I write a post it's about what I'm thinking and the state of mind I'm in. Even with my thoughts during the time I wrote about my FATHER on this blog site for years in order to cope with my heart of losing him, I'm writing about the man I love and where his mind is sometimes. Like I said, "I'm only human sometimes with what I do and did before I met him."

What I did in my life before I met him wasn't unfaithfulness, and I didn't have any other relationship other than my son's father. I didn't know I was going to experience being careful about everything I do. But...what I'm doing is only part of my honesty to him with out deception, or not to encounter any indiscretions of any sort. All I can do is to do my best and not keep anything a secret, or it will be an indiscretion I can't put myself out of. So with this said, "All I can do is talk to him and make him understand me for a change and what I'm about, so he doesn't think I'm cheating on him, or got secrets that I'm keeping from him. I also don't want be stuck in a situation to the point that he doesn't believe, or trust me, because I don't know what I do if he think that I can't be trusted, or if it's the other way around for me to think of him in the same manner otherwise.

"I'm only human, but...I'm sharing my honesty in return for his trust in me and my trust in him." Communication is the key to an understanding and why things happen, and how to mend what could be broken in the matter of our relationship!

Understanding Zachary's World

Book 141

Job 4:6 - 6. Is not this thy fear, thy confidence, thy hope, and the uprightness of thy ways. 

        31:24 - 24. If I have made gold my hope, or have said to the fine gold, thou art my confidence.

Psalms 118:8 - 8. It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man. 

Isaiah 30:15 - 15. For thus saith the LORD GOD, the Holy One of Israel; in returning and rest shall ye be saved; in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength; and ye would not. 

Acts 28:31 - 31. Preaching the kingdom of GOD, and teaching those things which concern the LORD JESUS Christ, with all confidence, no man forbidding him.

2 Corinthians 7:16 - 16. I rejoice therefore that I have confidence in you in all things. 

Galatians 5:10 - 10. I have confidence in you through the LORD, that ye will be none otherwise minded: but he that troubleth you shall bear his judgment, whosoever he be. 

I have a hard time putting the pieces of Zachary's puzzle together sometimes. It's hard to imagine the magnitude of which piece goes with which! What I'm trying to say is, when it comes to finding those different pieces of Zachary's puzzle, because it has to be put together by its color code, And from those pieces of Zachary's puzzle, I began to think about the various stages of his internal emotions that he's been dealing with for a brief period of time. For Zachary...it's being accepted where ever he goes, and what ever he does to be acknowledged for who he is. I figure that one piece of Zachary's puzzle will always make a difference in finding the cause  that triggered his internal emotions about being accepted on his football team.

And when that cause, it has  become a factor of what I'm trying to seek about my son's internal emotions, and I pray to GOD...whatever it may be, the answer will become my mission to figure out its mystery that has been plaguing my son for quite sometime, and for him being accepted as a young man with Autism on his football team; and  then I will see all the pieces of Zachary's puzzle come together correctly by its color code. I've watched some of the head coaches (one in particular) on (JV) Zachary's Junior Varsity team, place his favorite team players in positions they want to be in. I find that every time Zachary wants a certain position (Defense End... which is his strength and more action) he doesn't receive where his strength makes a difference and  it will become a factor of Zachary's goals that will lead him towards winning championships for his team. But...he is consistently placed on the offensive side of the field, where he doesn't want to be, because of the limited action the offensive side of the field gives with the option to block in order to protect the quarterback. The coaches lack of concern for Zachary, it has caused quite a bit of concern for me and for Zachary to accept the fact that this one head coach will put him where he's doesn't want to be to keep him out of the way of his favorite team players.

I'm not going to tolerate Zachary being ignored of the benefits of being where he want to be to accomplish his goal and determination of taking down the quarterback. This was why I felt that there will be many games lost because of crooked coaches who only want to keep their favorites team players in the midst of the field to win games, instead of placing good players (like my son) who I feel will take his football team to championships. Zachary is that player with determination and strength to do what he need to do to bring his football team towards championships, if he's given a chance to prove himself worthy of the position he could have as defensive end. It seems that I'm taken back to the last team Zachary hardly played on where he no real chances to play in any of the games, because he was always on the sideline...even at his practice too.

I always felt his Autism had everything to do with why Zachary was extremely limited to the amount of games he could play in. That's why I changed team organization with the feeling that the grass was greener on the other side of the goal line. I'm not going through another organization (and it's an excellent organization with the Lakeland Eagles) of crooked coaches. I would love to see one coach in the midst of other coaches that will give a darn about every last one of his team players and not just a few that are their personal favorites. I'm not tolerating it! Not another year.

I'm going acknowledge my feelings to the coach who is in fact, part of my problem when it comes to Zachary. Now I'm starting to see all the pieces of Zachary's puzzle coming together by color code. All I got to do is acknowledge my feelings to the coach that was giving me a lot of problems when it came to the position Zachary wanted to play. That last piece of the puzzle...the only piece...would fit nicely with all the other surrounding color coded pieces of Zachary's puzzle. His puzzle will be officially complete, and his internal emotions will be reduced with confidence in himself to strive for the goal he wants to achieve, and that's going after the quarterback.

What's Love Got To Do With It When It Comes To Control

Book 135

Psalms 37:4 - 4. Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

1 Corinthians 10:13 - 13. There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but GOD is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

John 14:27 - 27. Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. 

Proverbs 5:18 - 19 - 18. Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. 19. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love

Proverbs 18:22 - 22. Whoso findeth a wife, findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.

 Matthew 19:5 - 5. And said, for this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh




I found myself in love once again, but...in a different angle I see fit to present to the public. I feel this man is different from my past relationship from my son's father. He wants a forever relationship,  marriage, and a baby to fit the bill. How can I compete with that...when I'm part of the plan? It's no game when I have a man that seem to love me only for myself and to love me totally unconditionally. But the problem is that I found that he's a bit jealous!

That in itself kind of bother me. I really have an issue when it comes to a man being a bit jealous, because anything and everything can lead to something I'm not willing to go through in my lifetime. I find myself in communication with him on the subject. The results are continuous. I keep asking my him why is he so jealous of me to a point that he watches me in what I do, what I say, or how I say it. He's says to me, its because...I love you so much.

I find it obvious that I'm a bit scared of him because of his jealous streak, but not totally confused about what I'm getting myself into with him. Then he says, "I promise I want hurt you in anyway, shape, or form. I promise to GOD...I want hurt you, hinder you, abuse you physically, mentally, emotionally, or verbally; and I promise I will not lift a finger to hit you." And then I thought...okay...I hear him, but...proving what he said to me must have all the benefits of a sincere and a "total" promise to me that he wouldn't do any of the things that he said he wouldn't do to me. I'm totally holding him completely responsible to his word when it comes to lifting a finger at me! 

When I think again...I don't want to be a prisoner in my relationship with this man, no matter what he said to me. All I know...he better mean what he say, and he better mean what he do to accommodate his promise to me as a whole. I know my options...and I'm going to way them with my best judgment that I can give myself. I'm going to say this though, "He's not at all a bad person, but...we're just starting out our relationship on a positive note. All I can do is pray for the best and I'll keep everyone updated.

I'm going to watch all the signs! That's what I'm going to do, and be cautious. Don't get me wrong, because...I really do love this man unconditionally.

Nonanonymous

Book 131

Genesis 26:29 - 26. That thou wilt do us no hurt, as we have not touched the, and as we have done unto the nothing but good, and have sent the away in peace; thou art now the blessed of the LORD.

Sometimes I find myself anonymous to a point; I just want to be officially noticed by someone who will more than likely give a hang about what I think or feel. It's been hard on me most of the time getting myself out there to be promoted...well known...more than likely, prominent. Where I'm I going with this? We'll...let me elaborate!  I'm not all a people person, but...I'm trying to start a social club, which will be potentially prominent to most.

Only the best will be a part of my social club; if only they know GOD and his son JESUS with all of their heart, mind, body and soul. That's a must! There will be times when social gatherings, events or just hanging out with one another; going out for brunch will be part of the main source of conversation. I just got to find a way to persuade the people in  becoming a part of something I truly and officially believe in. It's just my people skills are totally an anonymous problem that I must see my way out of being unnoticed.

Who's to say that I should stay anonymous, or if I may decide to come out of shell as I see fit? I must take those baby steps into reality and crack my shell at it's full extent of nonanonymous. My social club most definitely need to see the light of day, and I must find it in my power to gain the right to promote and build it up the best of my knowledge. Why am I trying to build my social club? Here's why.

I'm trying to build my social club, "Socialites" in memory of my FATHER. No more old rubbish, old relex, or old garbage will be allowed, and is stricken to be prohibited in becoming a part of what will be part of my healing process. I founded Socialites so that I can invite those who know GOD and his son JESUS and that  they will be well known to my situation and all that I've been through since my FATHER'S death. It's a healing process I acknowledged earlier in my post. I don't want to be 'nonanonymous' in my endeavors to bring the people into my social club, but...with the will to crack my shell to the fullest to bring them in with respect, honesty, faith, belief and trust.

That's all what matters to me!

What To Do With Time On Our Hands

Book 130

Colossians 4:5 - 5. Walk in wisdom toward them that are without, redeeming the time




Well...I'm getting ready to post the most important post of them all. FATHER'S Day is coming up and I really need to find the words I'm going to write about. I don't think it would be that difficult to find those particular words to write when it comes to FATHER'S Day and the memories I shared with my FATHER, but...I'll figure out what I'm going to come up with once I start writing. Today was one of those days. I'm sitting around doing absolutely nothing, but enjoying my time off to spend it with my family.

We just looked at an episode of "In The Heat of the Night." It just another rerun, but...it's worth a look in order take in all the rest of the episode. Sherri, mother Ruth and I love those reruns of "In The Heart of the Night." We never miss an episode, even if we look at it over and over and over again. I wonder...what else should we do to kill time? It's obvious to know what to do, until Sherri and I go and pick up my son Zachary. We'll figure it all out until then.

Then I came up with an solution! Writing on a clean slate made all the difference in the world with our blank minds and a pencil to write with what ever comes to our minds. Sherri and I made pact in writing down our agenda. And here is what we came up with on what to do with our time. We can thank GOD and his son JESUS for just giving us the breath of life when we need it to breathe, that's number one on our agenda; number two, we thank GOD and his son JESUS for the strength to have when we need it to be strong, and last, but not least, our health when we need it to have energy at its fullest.

We can do all that with our time, and have as much to accomplish with our time. Negativity is a 'zero' tolerance, in which we don't have time to give. Positivity is a must that we should make time for all day and every day. "I think I'd rather have that with my sister Sherri, my mother Ruth and myself just for that quality time we all can share together."