Zach's Autistic World

Welcome To Zachary's Autistic World

I hope you will enjoy reading my sons posts. He's amazing when he speaks; he's amazing when he tries to express himself in a way he understands.  I'm so proud of Zachary for what he has become. I thank GOD most of all for blessing me with Zachary.  Enjoy Zachary's Stories everyone.

Wow! Zachary is growing to a big boy every single day, I experience times when I had to buy clothes, shoes, and everything else Zachary need. It seemed like monthly, I got to do all these things for Zachary, because he's growing so tall and handsome. I'm wondering, "Is he going to stop growing? I don't think so! Zachary is 5" 6' right now, and consistently growing and he is a happy teenager. 

Posted March 23, 2020

Zachary seems to react to things in a different way. On the other hand...he acknowledges his speech in large words...like he's more sophisticated in a whole lot of ways. Zachary has presented things to me that only a genious would present. I find myself over joyed each and everyday. Zachary is an amazing kid and I thought I should share this with everyone worldwide. 

Posted January 21, 2019

Zachary is growing up a young man now. What do I do with that? I guess I got to get use to the fact that he's no longer a little boy. He doesn't do all the things a little boy do anymore. He listens to musics of his choosing, play games on his phone and hang around the house. He has sports in his blood...football most of all. The season starts at the beginning of January 2019. I can't wait to get Zachary signed up and ready to play. 

Posted December 17th 2018



Zach's new world has took a turn with his extraordinary imagination.  His imagination revolves around the planet Jupiter.  I got to say...this is going to seem usual and quite  funny at times, but it's a wonderful story imagined.  Zachary thinks that the red spot revolves around his head just before his next hair cut.  With hair...Zach thinks the red spot is rotating on certain parts of his head, which in terms...the dirtiest stormy spot which is the "red spot" of course. He thinks that when his head get dirty from playing at school during recess, the red spot is present in that exact spot.  I ask him before I was his head, "Where is the red spot?" He'll point at the spot and he'll tell me, "It's the cleanest spot once the storm has ceased."  This means when Zach get his hair washed, the red spot disappears completely, or it's hiding until the next time.

Posted June 3, 2016

*Zachary Talking

I don't want to seem like I'm a true "mama's boy", but...I wish I can strive out on my own without needing my mother so much to help me find my way.  I guess that is why she is so important to me when I need to make important decisions in my life when I'm a child of Autism.  "I will never let anything beat me!"  I'm never too old to need my mother.

Posted October 25, 2006

"When Autism Become A Problem To School Teachers" 

1 Corinthians 7:7 - For I wish that all men were even as I myself.  But each one has his own gift from GOD, one in this manner and another in that.

I use to think my son's Autism was a problem with his teacher, Ms. Reeve, because, I felt she wasn't providing for him, her best in his academics. Therefore, I've decided to research her credentials. I know I'm not the only parent who feels that her child is lacking somewhere when it comes to his education. Passing grades, no home work, hardly any communication from my son's teacher, Ms Reeve or just enough communication to assure my satisfaction. I've seen too many children - especially children of special needs, go through this same phase of receiving passing grades and they are still struggling to meet the requirements and moving onto the next grade level, especially if it's a benchmark grade. For my son, Zachary, he had no real chance in passing to the next level grade he's require to be in. He will be retained in the second grade for another year. I'm not happy with my son repeating the second grade, but -  in a whole lot of ways, I feel it's better for Zachary if he can catch up on where he's lacking in his academics, so he'll be able to achieve the required grades needed in passing to his benchmark, third grade, even if my son is in a IEP classroom. I got my all of my questions answered during a meeting I had with teacher, Ms Reeve on June 2.   Zachary's honor roll status is on a first grade level. "I didn't know this - one phone call should of been made - homework that should of been sent home by Ms. Reeve, herself for practice; she could of at lease gave me assurance of Zachary's struggles in reading comprehension and his regrouping in subtraction and addition, all of the need to know information should of been discussed with me during the part of the year 2013.  And now it's too late to make any changes and correct any mistakes.  All I can do, is to accept the fact that my autistic son will be retained in the second grade.  Maybe in my heart he will do better the second time around.  

"When Love Is Unconditional For My Special Child"

1 Samuel 1:19 -20 - Then they rose early in the morning and worshiped before the LORD, and returned and came to their house at Hannah, And Elkanah knew Hannah his wife, and the LORD remembered her.  20 - So it came to pass, in the process of that time that Hannah conceived and bore a son, and called his name, Samuel. saying, "Because I have asked for him from the LORD"

It's just one of those days when I look at my son, Zachary and I say, "I'm so proud to be your mommy, I wanted you before you were ever born."  That's love unconditionally!  I never thought Zachary would be Always Unique Totally Interesting Sometimes Mysterious.  It was GOD's will for Zachary to be who he is.  "What a gift from GOD to me, I said."  I thank GOD everyday for my wonderful son, Zachary."  However, there are days when Zachary become "Mysterious", I had to wonder, what he's thinking when he's inside of his shell, he has surrounded himself in.  Where is Zachary inside this shell?  It's "Sometimes" hard to fathom Zachary, especially when he's in his mood swings.  "I will never give up on him, I will 'Always' love him the way he is and the way GOD has made him!"  He is "Totally Interesting" when you listen to him talk about things in terms of speaking, "Like an adult!"  Zachary can tell a story like a "professor" teaches a class without a blinking an eye or hesitating a syllable in his words when he tell his stories.  "I had to share my thoughts of my son, Zachary to the world -- short and sweet!"  I wanted to let the world know, how much I love my son, Zachary, with all of my heart.  I couldn't help myself knowing what a gift GOD has given me.  I will pray everyday, when Zachary walk out my door everyday, when I send him to school and when he come home to me safe and sound.  How many parents, who have children with special needs can say that?  I know I'm one, who give my life for my son's welfare, no matter what!  Thanks GOD for hearing my prayers seven years ago.

"Zachary Sheals: Finest Crystal Quality Of Brilliance"

1 Corinthians 7:7 - For I wish that all men were even as I myself, but each one has his own gift from GOD, one in this manner and the other in that.

*My Autistic Son, Zachary in his own words.

I was an aspie mother going through the severest depression anyone could ever have. I knew I was harming my sons self confidence and his self esteem with my depression, I knew I had to fix the damage I've done to Zachary. So - Zachary was in his room playing his video games when I asked him my first question: 1. Zachary, what did you mean about the white and red light in your dreams? Zachary finally told me - after one year what the lights meant in his dream. Zachary said,

"When I saw the white light mom, it was in front of me, (knowingly that white meant 'purity') when you walk into my room, the white light disappears behind my head and a red light appeared from the right side of my head. That is when you come into the room mom."

I was scared of what my autistic son said to me. I asked my son about the red light he see when I enter or approach his room. Zachary said,

"Mom, I didn't want you to come into my room, because I feel bad when you're around me. I don't like the way I feel when I'm around you, so - I told you to stop!"

I knew exactly what my son meant from beginning to end of my questions to him and his answers to me. I was a negative presents to Zachary - which in terms, the vibes from my severe depression and my negativity was too much for him to handle. "It's like - my son was telling me - he didn't want me entering his positive world." I understood what my Zachary was telling me: Until I straighten myself up from my depression and my negative actions - it was going to drive him into doing something that was going to hurt him ultimately. And then -- out of the blue -- Zachary started talking about this dream he had months ago. I could not believe what my son, Zachary was telling me! This is Zachary's dream - word by word while he was playing his video game:

"Mom -- I dream that I was at the edge of a cliff - this pirate was trying to push me off the cliff. I was about to fall off the cliff, when this good pirate pulled me back before fell off the cliff. Then, I went to 'Dream World' where I got my 'brilliance' from this magic crystal. After I received my brilliance from the magic crystal, I returned from 'Dream World' back to the 'Normal World' at 303 Brunnell Parkway, Apartment #1, you opened the door for me and I walked in and hugged you, mom."

I was in total shock, but - I understood what my son was saying to me -- accept for the "crystal" part in his dream. "I wondered -- what the 'crystal' meant in Zachary's dream, I was totally confused. I had to figure out my sons dream and what it meant. My sons dream meant, I was that pirate pushing him to the point from my negativity, to either accidentally pushing him off the cliff or suicide, if I don't straighten my myself up from the severity of my depression and abusing my prescription drugs for depression. I found out what Zachary meant when he was in "Dream World." It meant that he was in heaven. What Zachary meant about the "Crystal", Zachary was talking about himself. The crystal (in one of its meanings in the dictionary) in which I looked up -- means "The Finest Quality of Brilliance." Zachary had given me one of the true meanings of a crystal without looking into a dictionary. He was playing his video game when he told me about his dream. I got completely amazed my son, Zachary described himself as the crystal his dream. Zachary also looked at me one day and I kid you not, Zachary stood in front of me, he looked into my heart and into my mind without me opening my mouth to him. Zachary said,

"Mom, I can see into you heart that you are hurting real bad and I can see in your brain you are thinking about how depressed you are and its bad."

Then I thought about something Zachary said last year that Zachary really didn't understand or know about.  He may have heard this on television, but didn't understand what he was saying -- really -- I kid you not:

"Mom, I think you need to take some Cymbalta."

Cymbalta is a anti-depressant!  Zachary didn't know that "Cymbalta" is an anti-depressant.

Everyone -- give me your thoughts! I'm sorry the post is severely long, but I had to tell the story so everyone will understand how Zachary's dream came about.

"Zachary's Autism Rulers" 

                                               

From Autism News - ZNSASD  

2 Corinthians 10:13 - 15:  13: We, however, will not boast beyond measure, but within the limits of the sphere which God appointed us -- a sphere which especially includes you.  14: For we are not overextending ourselves (as though our authority did not extend to you). for it was to you that we came with the gospel of Christ.  15: not boasting of things beyond measure, tat is in other men's labors, but having hope, that as your faith is increased, we shall be greatly enlarged by you in our sphere.


For quite some time now, as Zachary's mother, I've been experiencing life with my son with autism as a way to measure life for the both of us.  "It’s not just his autism, We been through the worse of times, I deal with Zach's mood swings, no communication, at least most of the time, Zach turns a deaf ear to me whenever I speak to him.  It's like -- he doesn't hear me.” Sometimes I’ll shake my head at what seems to be a withdrawn connection coming from a child who doesn't know what's expected out of him, I'm comparably speaking.  However, most of the people, who have children with Autism, experience the same possibilities of their child acting out as I do.  I’m not complaining, nor do I perceive as no big deal in the grand scheme of things.   

I'm an aspie mother, I asked GOD for this: Always Unique Totally Interesting Sometimes Mysterious and wonderful person.  I'm so happy to have Zach in my life.  My joy, my blessing, my gift from the GOD.  So you see, without realizing it, I picked up a bunch of rulers by which to measure my our life (my son and I) and others: with my autism rulers. As if it were lying down on the ground in front of me, visioning life before autism on one side and life experiencing my sons autism, I thought -- I have used it unconsciously to rate anything from being selfish about my sons condition, instead of saying I'm not complaining about it, I realize I was complaining.  I feel ashamed, I asked -- I was blessed with this wonderful boy and I was so selfish about the person he is.  I closed my mouth and I was his mother full-time, unconditional, and loving. 

On the surface, it doesn’t necessarily seem like a bad thing. Autism indeed, for me, it's a experience to deal with. Watching my healthy child slip into a world without words -- most of the time.  It's hard to describe accurately or completely in terms of how it affect me as a aspie mother.  I have no shame in saying -- I experience far the worse experiences in my life before Zach, I make no apologies for that.  However, there is a lot of truth in my statement. It isn’t the autism, it's just we've been through worse. We've had a hefty dose of perspective that I bring to all situations. Those thoughts have served us well.  However, I’ve recently become aware of how those thoughts have gone from hurtful to a helpful situation for the both of us. The very same thoughts that I've made those rulers, a measure of growth and gave me perspective also made it a tool for understanding the measure of life with my autistic son, Zach. 

I’ve been around a autism community for a year this summer. We are fighters, and that is where the “warrior” term comes from. It is supposed to be a compliment.  But sometimes, I believe, we can wear our warrior term as a weapon. We can be quick to cut down other’s suffering.  In fact, I recently realized the only people I would ever really feel badly for are those whose children are worse off than mine ever was, or the truly worthy of the pain pedestal, in my opinion, those whose children have died from their autism. I’m not kidding about that. If your child’s condition didn’t steal your child’s potential, put you on the defensive, isolate you, and leave you to figure out your child’s health on your own without services, I have little pity for you. 

These were my thoughts! Even if they were only for a second, because a second is all it takes to want to smack yourself for such an insensitive and stupid thing to suggest, they were real thoughts!  I’m applying my rulers.  By using autism as our (my son an I) rulers in our personal life, I let a lot of things slide that I shouldn’t have, but some people treated my son very poorly, bullied him and I got mad. Somehow those phrases got twisted in my head from helpful ways to keep life’s difficulties in proper perspective, to phrases that prevented me from doing just that. My perspective got skewed. It's autism, and it went from meaning; “be grateful” to “it’s ok if people take advantage of it's uniqueness and the mystery of autism.  I'm using my autism rulers.  I'm using it to measure growth, or if I'm beating the heck out of someone.  It may be time to get it back to its original purpose or simply put it away for a while altogether. I know it is for my son and I. 

"Sunday Morning Autism"

1 Timothy 6:11 - But you, O man of GOD, flee these things and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, gentleness.
James 1:4 - But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.


I thank GOD for waking us up early Sunday morning -- even though we over slept through the morning -- missing Sunday service. "How I hate to miss Sunday service!" Zachary had one of his episodes. His mood swings are very unbearable to take sometimes. I've learned to be patient with Zachary. I'm mother first, before I let stress take over me. It was nothing he did wrong. Zachary can't help what's going on with him. I've learned to be patient and deal with the outcome of my sons autism. As I knew, my sons autism was getting worse -- at least that's how I saw it. I had to ask myself, what should I do with Zachary. All I could do for him is to love him and patient with him. There is no other way I could put this. Therapy was a option that maybe it will help him to understand what is happening with him and to help him understand himself. He's silent -- he want communicate with me when I need him to talk to me about what he's feeling. Zachary's world is his own domain, where no one is invited. His world is his place of comfort, security and assurance -- that no one interfere inside of his world. Zachary shields away himself from everyone and everything he doesn't want to be around or close to. It makes me sad sometimes and I know he's not shutting me out, I know he will eventually understand what is expected out of him. I'm his mother first and patience is my venue and I will love him as much as I possibly can -- as a mother should love her child, even though -- autism is part of his life and who he is as a person. Many people in my shoes who deal with the possibilities and the concerns of their child with autism, here's a dose of medicine I'm administering to parents with autistic children: Love your child, no matter what is going on with him/her. It's no fault of the child and it's nothing you've done as a parent. You can only give your child the greatest gift of all. LOVE, PATIENCE and UNDERSTANDING. Autism speaks volumes, love and patience speaks more for your child well-being.

"Zachary's Autism Cloud City"

*ZACHARY'S WORDS

1 Corinthians 13:2 - And though I have the gift of prophecy and understanding all mysteries and all the knowledge, and through I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

12:8 - 10: for to one the word of wisdom through the Spirit, to another the word of knowledge through the same spirit, 9: to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gift of healing by the same Spirit, 10: to another the working of miracles, to another prophecy, to other discerning of spirits, to another different kinds of tongues, to another the interpretation of tongues.

Mark 16:16 - 17 - (Jesus talking) "He who believes and is baptized will be saved; but he who does not believe will be condemned. 17: "And these signs will follow those who believe: In my name they will cast out demons; they will speak with new tongues;



Sometimes it's unbelievable when my child can tell such stories in his imagination. He's so interestingly brilliant when he tells them like he's an adult, using huge words in a sophisticated way. I mean -- I listen to him sometimes and I and I say to myself, "He is truly a gift from GOD, in which I asked him for Zachary. Now -- about 'Zachary's Autism Cloud', the main source of this post -- this is an interesting one too. One day Zachary, my family and I were out on a family outing -- Zachary, as usual would tell everyone a story about his adventures -- in a imaginative sort of way he sees himself as a character in his adventure. Zachary sees himself in a place called, "Cloud City." I asked him, "What's 'Cloud City?" Zachary said,

*It's just a palace where autistic kids, like myself stay and think about things when we want to be alone until the war starts."

I ask Zachary, "What war -- what do you mean by that?"

*He says, "My war is all about about my destiny."

Then I asked Zachary about his destiny. "What is your destiny, Zachary?"

*Zachary says, "Is the force I have that began with me in fighting the 'Dark Master' to protect all autistic kids in Cloud City."

So the way I see Zachary's story, is that he fight with all of his might -- the force of the 'Dark Master' away from him and all the autistic kids that was beginning to harm him and his Autism Cloud City. All I can see, is that -- my baby is fighting his way out of his world from being attacked by the evil force of the Dark Master -- who was trying to attack the other autistic children, himself and their Autism Cloud City. I also asked Zachary about what happened to the Dark Master.

*Zachary said, "The other autistic kids and I conquered the 'Dark Master' -- we fought really hard to save our world -- our Autism Cloud City -- and now, we're free to live our lives in our own worlds. 'We're smiling again and we're in our own thoughts without anyone or anything invading our worlds again' -- we're free, Autism Cloud City is free again.

And that's Zachary's imaginary adventure -- not so exciting adventure, but -- interesting enough to hear and to understand what Zachary's story was all about and how he was trying to fight his way out of the evil world of the Dark Master, saving all of the other autistic children and Autistic Cloud City -- back into their own 'safe' worlds. I thought it was kind of frightening for my son, but -- he's learned to fight his battles without being conquered by people who try to bully and pick at him and the other autistic children. Zachary has stood his ground -- as well as the other autistic children. They joined forces, as the high functioning of the autistic children smiled and cheered using their voices with joy, speech, and laughter -- joining hands with the low functioning children who can't use their voices, but their laughter, and their speech is speaking louder in their hearts and in their souls than from their mouths. Autism Cloud City is free with joy and happiness once again.

*Zachary says, "That's it! 'There is no more wars in my Autistic Cloud City', all the other autistic children is safe, mom."



"Zachary's Revelation"

(Read The Entire Book Of Revelation)

1 Corinthians 6:9 - 9: Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of GOD? Do not be deceived, neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites. 10: nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of GOD.
Galatians 5:19 - 21 - 19: Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness. 20: idolatry, sorcery, hatred ,contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wraft, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies. 21: envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of GOD.
Romans 1:18 - 19 - For the wraft of GOD is revealed from heaven against all the ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, 19: because what may be known of GOD is manifest in them, for GOD has shown it to them. 2:7 - 7: eternal life to those who by patience continuance in doing good seek for glory, honor, and immortality.
1 Thessalonians 1:10 - 10: and to wait for his son from heaven, whom he raised from the dead, even JESUS who delivers us from the wraft to come. 2:16 - 16: forbidding us to speak to the Gentiles that may be saved, so always to fill up the measure of their sins; but wraft has come upon them to the uttermost. 5:9 - 9: For GOD did not appoint us to wraft, but to obtain salvation through our LORD JESUS Christ.




*ZACHARY TALKING



Some things are unknown or shall I say, unseen to me, especially when it comes to my son, Zachary when he tell me about one of his awesome adventures. Wow! "My baby is an awesome child!", I said. And then -- this fascination I have about my autistic child -- being able to see things most children with his ability would of thought of or see at its entirety and this thought occurred to me. Who would of ever thought my son, Zachary would know so much about the 'underworld' and the kind of place it is? It was shockingly powerful enough to say, without my son breezing through a dictionary, (although, he doesn't know what a dictionary is) at least, not yet. I can tell you that my son, Zachary can think brilliantly like a dictionary. His story starts -- as he refers to his 'autism cloud', Zachary had a different version of what his autism cloud was revealing. It was nothing close to his awesome adventures he usually tell me about. Zachary's autism cloud was of another phenomenon. A darkness, a force he says wasn't of this earth. "It scared me to imagine what Zachary's autism cloud was revealing." He said he sees things about certain people and things that was once a part of this earth -- the living -- things are not human. My thoughts to 'Zachary's Revelation', I called it -- was referring to the late, Michael Jackson, claiming that he is part of the "Rock and Roll underworld". I had asked Zachary about the Rock and Roll underworld and what it meant (in his version) to him. I asked Zachary, "Zachary, what is the Rock and Roll underworld?" He answered,

* "Mom -- the Rock and Roll underworld is where Michael Jackson is."

Then I told Zachary that Michael Jackson was a pop star, better know as the "King of Pop". Zachary responds,

* "Mom -- Michael Jackson is in the 'Rock and Roll underworld -- that's where all the rock and roll singers who died are."

My curiosity got the best of me at that point! I wondered, how would Zachary know about this underworld he's referring to as the Rock and Roll underworld. So I began to ask Zachary a question without using (Rock and Roll). "Zachary -- without using Rock and Roll, can you tell me what does it mean -- the underworld? (At that time I was testing Zachary's abilities of his meaning, in his version of the underworld), what do you think the underworld means?" Zachary reveals its full meaning and at its entirely, in his own version.

* "Mom -- the underworld is a place where Michael Jackson lives now. It's not on this earth, it's under the earth."

I stared at Zachary -- it must of been for at least five whole minutes. I had this smirk on my face and I was shocked at Zachary's answer to my question I just asked him. The definition of underworld is:

(Underworld - is thought to be deep underground or beneath the surface of the world in most religions and mythologies.[1] Typically it is a place where the souls of the departed go, an afterlife or a realm of the dead. Chthonic is the technical adjective for things of the underworld.)

I think what Zachary's revelation meant was that Michael Jackson was in an unholy -- ungodly -- unrighteous place

* "Mom -- I just know -- I know -- that's it!"

Afterward my shocking experiences and questioning my autistic son about his meaning of the underworld, I called my twin sister, Sherri and our mother and told them about Zachary's revelation (not his usual adventures) I picked up my home telephone (ring tone) Sherri was on the receiving end. I said to Sherri, "Sherri -- guess what!" Sherri responds abruptly with her response, "What! What!" I said, "Zachary had a revelation about Michael Jackson and the Rock and Roll underworld." Sherri responded, "Michael Jackson was a pop singer and what is this thing about a Rock and Roll underworld? 'You're scaring me with this!' What would Zachary know about the underworld?" I responded, "I don't know. Zachary didn't look through any dictionary or even know what a dictionary is -- at least not yet. 'Zachary said, "He just know, he knows it's an place that it's not upon this earth where Michael Jackson is and I can tell you unholy place where the dead is not rested -- I guess that's the way Zachary sees it." Sherri was silent for at least a minute or two. Sherri said, "That's creepy!" I responded, "I know! I know! You wouldn't think of it coming from a 7 1/2 year old autistic child, but then again -- autistic children are always unique totally interesting sometimes mysterious (A U T I S M) is all Sometimes I can't remedies of special children."

Sometimes I can't seem to fathom the abilities my son, Zachary has. That's the mysterious, the uniqueness and the interesting part of knowing and understanding who my child is and his gifts -- my 7 1/2 year old autistic child shouldn't know about or understand, but he does, in his own way. I'm amazed completely! There is no words to describe what I feel as Zachary's mother. I can say, Zachary is a precious gift from GOD. His twin didn't survive in my womb -- I can say once again, Zachary is my gift from GOD -- my only surviving out of three -- a true miracle. I believe it's immaculate, but a bit scary to me that Zachary can go beyond his thoughts -- beyond things that are unseen by the naked eye -- it's almost like a premonition (that's the way I saw it) scary as this may seem -- this was not an adventure in Zachary's autism cloud -- this was purely 'Zachary's Revelation' and I prayed dearly about what he revealed to me and I came to conclusion -- time is surely winding up on this earth, "The Book Revelation" is fulfilling itself -- entirely!

"Zachary And The Autistic Children Defeat Empire Acroan And The Boss In Autism Cloud City"

Hebrews 10:39 - 39: we are not of those who draw back to perdition, but of those who believe to the saving of the soul.
James 5:19 - 20 19: Brethren, if anyone among you wanders from the truth, and some one turns him back. 20: let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save a soul from death and cover a multitude of sins.
Galatians 6:1 - 1: if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted.
1 Peter 4:8 - 8: And above all things have fervent love for one another, for "love will cover a multitude of sins."
Psalms 27: 3 - 6 3: Though an army may encamp against me, My heart shall not fear; Though the war may rise against me, In this will be confident. 4: One thing I have desired of the LORD all the days of my life, To behold the beauty of the LORD, And to inquire in his temple. 5: For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion; In the secret place of his tabernacle, he shall hide me; He shall set me high upon a rock.
31:20 - 21 - 20: You shall hide them in the secret place of your presence from plots of man; You shall keep them secretly in a pavilion from the strife of tongues. 21: Blessed be the LORD, For he has shown me his marvelous kindness in a strong city!
91:1 - 2 1: He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High, shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. 2: I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress; My GOD, in him I will trust.




Quote: The main purpose of "Zachary's Autism Cloud City" is not to bring hate and negativity in his world. Everyone in his world is positive, no matter the circumstances.


*Zachary Talking


Zachary's adventure was a very mysterious one -- at least this time around. Zachary says, "He felt that an enemy has invaded his autism cloud city. He also felt that he was in for the ultimate battle against a negative force who carries the name, Empire Acroan. The negative Empire Acroan wanted to bring hate, unhappiness, and negativity to Zachary and all the autistic children in autism cloud city. Then I thought, "That's a sad thing to bring into a world where everyone is positive, happy, loving and having fun." For a long time, Zachary has fought very hard to keep the negative people out of his world of the autism cloud city. With the help of his friend, Master Doe Jo, Zachary was trained and to prepare for his fight with Empire Acroan in order to save his world and all the autistic children hate, unhappiness, and the negativity of Empire Acroan brings. I asked Zachary about the Empire Acroan and why he was attacking his autism cloud city. "Zachary, who is this Empire Acroan and why he wants to destroy your autism cloud city?" Zachary said,

* "Mom, Empire Acroan is a evil force who wants to destroy me and the other autistic children in autism cloud city. 'Empire Acroan doesn't want us to be happy, love, or have fun in my autism cloud city.' He wants all of us to hate -- so the only way I'm going to keep the hate from invading autism cloud city is to go the distance with Empire Acroan -- fight the ultimate battle with Empire Acroan in order to save all the autistic children and autism cloud city."

I was very shocked, but amazed of what Zachary was telling me about his mysterious battle with the evil force of Empire Acroan. I began to acknowledge Zachary's (answer to me) his synopsis of what his battle with Empire Acroan was all about. I felt that Zachary's journey into a world where he's familiar about hate, unhappiness, and negativity against him and all the autistic children -- had began to interfere with his determination to keep his heart and everyone and everything around him positive. At that point, "I began to pray and pray hard!" Zachary said,

* "Mom -- I turned around really fast and I ran as hard as I could from Empire Acroan, because of the darkness surrounding him. I was scared of that darkness, mom. But -- didn't want to run from him, because if I'm going to save all the autistic children and my autism cloud city, then I must fight the intimate battle."

From Zachary's answer, I began to think about when people are taken in (blindly) by an evil for with the comfort of the LORD of the fulfilling the heart and soul, they get lead into a world that is very unholy. "I saw in Zachary's heart, that it was pure, full of love, and positives -- that is why he ran so hard, but his intentions was to fight of this demon that was trying to destroy him and the other autistic children of his autism cloud city. So I asked Zachary about Master Doe Jo and if he was a good person or a bad person who trained him to fight Empire Acroan. Here was what Zachary said.

* "Mom, Master Doe Jo is a very good person. He lives in autism cloud city with me and all the autistic children. 'He's awesome, mom!' He doesn't like hate and that's why he trained me to fight, so I can win the ultimate battle against Empire Acroan. All the autistic children are going to fight beside me, so we can all fight and be rid of the hate that's making us unhappy and keeping us from loving and having fun in autism cloud city."

At this time, I'm thinking -- Master Doe Jo must be a good prophet -- helping Zachary and all the other autistic children defeat Empire Acroan from bringing sorrow into autism cloud city -- since there are so many people in this world, who don't understand the magnitudes of loving, supporting, and caring for a nation where 'special needs' are a consideration and a unique responsibility that should not be taken advantage of, but acknowledged within all of our hearts, our souls, and with character -- with out ignorance nor hate, nor feeble-mindedness. Anyone with a special need of any kind, should not be taken advantage of or taken for granted. In my heart, Empire Acroan was a evil force (like most people who think it's right to mistreat people with special needs) who tried to destroy Zachary's happiness, his love for everyone -- including the autistic children and Master Doe Jo in autism cloud city, and fun with his words of hate and bringing negativity and despair his mortal world and into his autism cloud city. Zachary had asked me a question. The answer I gave Zachary was all too familiar to him, when it came to people (certain ones) who has bullied, picked at and disrespected him because he has autism -- and other people with special needs.

* "Mom -- why does so many people seem to hate children with autism? 'I heard you say that the mean people in the news locked 2 autistic children in the basement of their house.'"

I looked at Zachary, not with haste of any kind. I had placed my hand over my mouth with shock. I was not expecting Zachary to question what I said to my twin sister, Sherri over the phone about the 2 autistic children left in the basement of their home by their parents for six years. I fault myself for not being in a part of my apartment where he couldn't hear my conversations with my twin sister. "I hope he doesn't think I will do that to him." I had to assure Zachary that I will never do that to him, ever. I love him more than myself to ever think of such thing -- or ever try and do that to him. Zachary asked me a question about the 2 autistic boy, who was locked in the basement for six years.

* "What did the 2 autistic boys do wrong to get locked in the basement for six years?"

I didn't sugar coat my answer to Zachary of my version of what I think the reason for the 2 boys being locked in their basement in their home for six years. "I think it was because they are autistic and the parents didn't want the responsibility of dealing with them; taking care of them; and loving them unconditionally like I do with you." Zachary responded to my answer.

* "I guess that is why I'm fighting the ultimate battle against Empire Acroan. I got to go to Master Doe Jo house in autism cloud city and train so I can win the battle with all the autistic children fight beside me."

Zachary's intentions was to overlook what people are saying about him and every autistic child who are being disrespected in his autism cloud city and his mortal world. He smart enough now to do that -- thank GOD. Zachary now ignore the ignorance, the feeble-mindedness, and the imbeciles of the world, because they do not understand a little boy like himself and others who are like him and others who are special needs. Zachary had over came being bullied, pick at, and being disrespected -- he knows how to handle it now at his tender age -- making the vast majority of people who are ignorant to fact of special needs -- look stupid. I don't sugar coat my words when it comes to my son standing up for himself. Even his teachers tried him and couldn't make him budge. I remember something Zachary told me something else I will never forget.

* "Mom -- I feel that I'm going to be fighting forces with Empire Acroan and the "Boss" battles until my soul leaves my body into a wonderful place. Battles like the ones I'm fighting will always remain on a battlefield until the war is won."

Before I answered Zachary's question, I asked him about the "Boss"? He responded,

* "The 'Boss' is a person who I will dodge his moves against me on the battlefield. 'I want let negativity and hate from another force -- ruin my happiness.' It would of been a whole different battle I have no desire to fight only with my mind, soul, and heart."

What I saw in Zachary's answer at that particular moment was that other people (lots of other people) in his life, are going to come after him and other children with autism and other special needs very negatively with a lot of hate and disrespect and its going to keep happening, no matter what. If and when Zachary wants as become older, I will be there as his mother in every way, no matter what.

I answered Zachary's question. "Zachary, you're going to meet 'more' people who are not going to understand you as a person with autism. "That is what is so sad about it!" Zachary, you will always -- always hold your head up and ignore ignorance; ignore people who can't understand that you are special and that you can do and be anything that you want to be. 'Don't let anyone tell you different!' You and all the other autistic children will win the battle whether you in autistic cloud city or our mortal world. All of your battles fought in this society and in the nation of wars fought will be conquered." I knew that Zachary -- whenever I speak about his adventures mysterious or not, but unique -- took it to heart -- especially being a 7 1/2 year old little boy. I'm very blessed to have given birth to a wonderful, mysterious, interesting and a unique little boy -- a true gift from GOD -- a miracle.

Always Unique Totally Interesting Sometimes Mysterious

"Zachary's Journey To Be A Autistic Legend"

Psalms 72: 13 - 14 - 13: He will spare the poor and needy. 14: He will redeem their life from oppression and violence.  And precious shall be their blood in his sight. 139:6 - 6: Such knowledge is too wonderful; it is high, I cannot attain it.

Proverbs 11:30 - 30: The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life.  And he who wins souls is wise.  17:27 - 27: He who has knowledge spares his words, and a man of understanding is of a calm spirit.

Acts 15:24 - 24: Since we have heard that some who went out from us have troubled you with words, unsettling your souls, saying, "You must be circumcised and keep the law." -- in whom we gave no such commandment --

Galatians 1:7 - 7: which is not another, but there are some who trouble you and want to pervert the gospel of Christ.  5:10 - 10: I have confidence in you, in the LORD, that you will have no other mind; but he who troubles you shall bear his judgement; whoever he is.

1 Corinthians 13:8 - Love never fails, but whether there are prophecies, they will fail; but whether there are tongues , they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish.

2 Peter 3:18 - But grow in the grace and knowledge of our LORD and Savor JESUS Christ, to him be the glory both now and forever. Amen.

James 1:21 - 21: Therefore lay aside all filthiness and overflow of wickedness, and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save souls.

*Zachary Talking

Just a few days ago, Zachary asked me a question --  a very peculiar question.  He wanted  to know, "What is the key to for being a Legend."  I kind of hesitated with a answer to his question.  While I was thinking of an answer, Zachary said, 

"What is the key mom for being a legend? 'Everyone in this entire world is mortally legendary, it's just that I think it all comes from birth.'  We're born to be legends just like me."

At that particular moment, I stood there in pure shock about Zachary's response to me before I could give him a answer to his question.  However -- I answered Zachary's question. "Zachary, the key for being a legend is being admired for who you are. 'As you mother, I really admire you very much for your awesome story-telling.' You have an amazing gift of knowledge that GOD has blessed you with to be able to speak with safistication and you have a wonderful and a mysterious imagination only GOD has blessed you with. You are a true legend in your own initiative, Zachary."  Zachary looked up at me and smiled.  As usual -- I would always show my admiration for his efforts and his great knowledge and my unconditional love for my autistic son with a 'great big hug' and a kiss on the top of his head where his soft spot was (when Zachary was a baby).  "I called his closed soft spot, 'The Dip", because it looked concave like the inside of a circle.  "I mean -- really!"  And then -- Zachary told me something I would never forget.  I can only think when Zachary ask me questions, they are a bit scary and somewhat frightening.  This is what Zachary told me.

"Mom -- If I'm a legend in my own way with the wisdom to defeat the 'underworld', I will mom.  'I will defeat the devil; I want everyone to defeat him and everyone in this world will be free of him; then I will continue to be the legend in my own way, as  a prophet saving lives.'"

And then -- I thought about what my 8 year old son was telling me.  He wants to be a prophet, a legend in his own initiative -- saving lives form the darkness -- helping everyone to see the light and the pathway to heaven.  I was amazed and I really admire my son for his knowledge about life (in his own way of thinking) and saving the lives of everyone who lives in the darkness of the underworld (the devil) and bringing everyone to the light in order to follow those who will walk the 'narrow' pathway to heaven.  As a aspie mother of a wonder autistic little boy, I really admire my sons knowledge.  However -- Zachary continued his discussion with me about life after death and the direction of wandering souls once a person is in their grave.  Zachary's response, 'I found it creepy!' 

"Mom -- I believe that everyone in this world is legendary,I t no matter which way their lives are headed, their souls will be in between both worlds -- Heaven and that other place."

I didn't sugar coat telling Zachary the truth about life after death and the wandering souls of people died and are in their graves, Zachary wanted to know about their the direction of person souls when they die.  I told Zachary this, "Zachary -- there will be souls wandering and there will be souls settled -- either in Heaven or Hell.  However a person life is how they lived it on this earth is where they'll end up (if a person repent their sins and if a person does not repent their sins to GOD) that will be the place where their souls will be settled for all eternity.  'Only GOD knows about what everyone do on this earth, before they do it or think it.'  We will all be judged for our works on this earth when judgement day comes son."  Zachary seemed amazed about what I told him.  I know it's reality and it will happen one day, but my son -- wow!  He was very interested in knowing where souls end up in the after life.   And then -- Zachary told me this.

"Mom -- I think there will be a lot of legends out there in their graves, whose souls are wandering around, because they are not rested, but their bodies remain in their graves." 

I virtually had to take a deep breath about what my son, Zachary was telling me in our discussion about the after life and wandering souls.  'I can't help but to be shocked, but amazed about my sons knowledge of things I feel he shouldn't know about, but he does.  "I so glad that Zachary understands the difference between life and death and the wandering and settled souls.  I have to say in prospective, "It's not something I want to talk about, or even think about, but in reality -- everything will come to past."  The Book of Revelation is surely fulfilling itself entirely -- every day of our natural lives.  Yes. 'It's reality!'  We all should take heed to everything that is happening all around us everyday; we all have a decision to make and repent, before it's too late.  This is why -- when my son, Zachary ask me questions or tell me things that seems frightening' things that will make a person wonder; I will not sugar coat my answer, or turn a deaf ear to my son, "I will tell him what he needs to know, no matter what he ask of me or tell me, I'm going to answer or respond to him regardless of what he ask or says to me."  It's my duty as his mother to assure Zachary about life and how to live it.  All I can say is that my son, Zachary is truly a legend in his own intiative and he is my 'autistic blessing' from GOD.

"Zachary's Autism, Meditation, And Karma, Yoga Style" 

                                                          Zachary's Autism Karma

                "Yoga Style!"













Joshua 1:8 - 8: "This Boo of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but yo shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it.  For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.  8:34 - 34: And Afterward he read all the words of the law, the blessing and the cursings, according to all that is written in the Book of the Law.
Psalms 1:2 - 2: But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and in his law he meditates day and night 4:4 - 5 - 4: Be angry, and do not sin. Meditate within your heart on your bed, and be still.  Selah  5: Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, and put your trust in the LORD.   19:14 - 14: Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight O LORD, my strength and my Redeemer.  119:15 - 16, 35, 97 - 15: I will meditate on you precepts, and contemplate your ways. 16: I will delight myself in your statutes; I will not forget your word.  35: Make me walk in the path of your commandments.  97: Oh, how I love your law!  It is my meditation all the day.
Luke 21:14 - 14: (JESUS Talking) "Therefore settle it in your hearts not to meditate beforehand on what you will answer. 12:11 - 11: "now when they bring you to the synagogues and magistrates and authorities, do not worry about how or what you should answer, of what you should say. 
Mark 13:11 - 11: "But when they arrest you and deliver you up, do not worry beforehand, of premeditate what you will speak.  But whatever is given you in that hour, speak that; for it is not you who speak, but the Holy Spirit."
Philippians 4:8 - 8: Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy -- meditate on these things. 





*Zachary Talking




"I've been noticing Zachary's meditation; he's been doing it a lot lately; I've never disturbed him when he's meditating; I would sit and watch; I would light a candle whenever he asked me to; I would continue to sit and watch."  I often wondered what Zachary was meditating about, or what he is thinking about, or concentrating what he calls, 'Autism Yoga Style'.  I interfered with my sons private moment. I figured that it was none of my business -- if it was for that brief moment.  On this day -- on August 12, "I found myself doing the same thing -- meditating with my son -- letting our good karma take it's toll!" I got to give it to my son, Zachary.  "I found myself stressed one minute, and then relaxed the next."  I appreciated my son, Zachary for letting me join in his autism karma yoga style moment. Zachary got up from the floor, he turned and blew out the candle and he said to me,




"Mom -- What is having telekinesis?  'I'm wondering if I have it', drawing my power to the candle." 




And then I told my son, Zachary, "I don't think telekinesis is no such thing!"  -- being psychic is another thing, a super natural force; you see things beyond everything unseen to all of us, only if you have that gift, or if you're born with it."   What I thought after Zachary asked that question, "What is having telekinesis?"  I thought about things moving around in the house by Zachary's claims of his supernatural force of the mind and he's standing there a yard away from me, I'm in coherent to the fact that I'm feeling it; seeing him do this thing I know don't exist in my own mind and in my soul.  "Wow!"  I asked the LORD, "Please don't let me see anything move in my own house!"  Something like that, will freak me out!  I didn't want my autistic sons mind confused of the two occurrences:  Being telekinetic and being psychic. I had to explain to my son the differences between the two in our own time.   And then Zachary said to me, 




"Mom -- telekinesis is a supernatural mind thing, but you also can do it with your hands in motion too."  




I asked my son, Zachary, "What is using your hands with telekinesis have to do with using it with your mind?" At that particular moment, Zachary had me really startled about his interest in being telekinetic -- knowingly as his mother that he doesn't display (or do I want him to display) that supernatural side of using his mind to move things all over our home.  "I don't want to see it!"  Zachary answered my question.





"Mom -- it's a 'force grab' -- and in order to do it, you will have to see the dark side of things in order to bring it out what is occurring from in the dark side into the light side of things."





I think what Zachary has been meditating about, not only about using the power of the mind and moving things like 'the candle' sitting on his table, I truly believe he thinks he have that supernatural power of telekinesis and I belief he was getting it confused with being psychic. I've had to explain to him he doesn't display the power of the mind and the world of telekinesis.  "I will go completely nuts!" I believe Zachary thinks telekinesis is magic and that he would like to try it.  I told him, "It's only a mind thing, your mind can only move things around only in your imagination -- you're not born to do it's magic." After talking with my son about effects of telekinesis, however, I thought about the people who are psychic and their ability to see things that are supernatural beyond everything unseen to us, but it is felt from a spirit still lurking, or shall I say -- wandering around without it being rested, or settled instead of moving things around with their minds.  In some ways, "I believe my son, Zachary can see some things that are unseen to me (that has been acknowledged first hand) and it was in fact some of the things (from my past) he told me about not so long ago that had happened to me.  I've had to ask myself some questions I thought would help me to understand my autistic son and his autism and those strange occurrences in his life that he has been experiencing firsthand.  And then I questioned what was going on and what I was seeing from my son, Zachary. "What is really going on with my autistic son? "Is it what my son has become?", "Does he have that gift to see the supernatural?"  I don't wish to bring back that 'something' he told me about my past, because, it truly creeps me out that my son knew that 'something' that happened to me in my past that he was able to bring out in me of what he has seen.  "I mean word for word!"  I had step back a few steps into seclusion from the fact that my son knew; I didn't even tell him anything about my past was the reason I consistently questioned myself, "What if?", "What if it's possible?"  There are people who are psychics.  Time will tell -- just saying ---    "Wow!" I had to go back into meditation on my own, but without my autistic son, Zachary.  He sat down and watched me meditate; he never joined me.  Maybe -- just maybe,  I want think about it, or see things moving around in our house, because the first thing I will do -- is to start praying to GOD -- that's it!  

"Never Give Up On Your Autistic Child"

James 1:3-4 - 3:  knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.  4: But let patience have it's perfect work. that you may be perfect and complete. lacking nothing



"I know it's hard sometimes when I'm trying to raise a child with autism." Zachary is my child with autism, and I don't treat him no different than a normal child, because Zachary is a normal child. I know raising a child with autism is hard on all aspie parents -- it's just we all need to be patient with our children and continue loving them and give them everything they need and then some, no matter the circumstances or where you are in the world. It's also hard when you're a single parent assuming the mother and father role in raising an autistic child with autism, ADHD, and PDD NOS. "Yes -- I know!"Everything I've mentioned so far in my post surrounds the fact that my sons behavior has gotten worse and he's only 8 years old. I question the fact, "What will happen when my son, Zachary becomes a teen -- what issues will I be dealt with? Zachary is very defiant, impulsive -- most of the time, Zachary doesn't know what is expected out of him when comes to his learning capabilities. He very smart by all means -- don't get me wrong, but he goes into a stage where he forget that he can do most things I didn't think he can do and then some. Zachary is also withdrawn; he secludes himself from me and most of his peers and relatives. It worries me sometimes. What else can I do, but love Zachary unconditionally? It's my destiny as his mother -- more and more, I am very proud to have accomplished and achieved the status of a good aspie mother; I'm proud of that! So -- if you're a aspie parent, whether you're single, or married, and you love your autistic child or children that you will go to the end of the earth for -- then pat yourself(s) on the back, because you're special just like your child or children and you're blessed. It's going to be fine, it's hard, but you will be fine, all of us. Keep the love coming and preserve happy autistic children. Zachary understand the meaning of love and love unconditionally. He knows he is loved.

"Zachary And Autism:  His Emotional Withdrawal"

James 1:3-4 - 3:  knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.  4: But let patience have it's perfect work. that you may be perfect and complete. lacking nothing

I've been experiencing some emotional episodes from my son, Zachary. There are days when Zachary completely shuts down for no reason. I talk with him and I assure him that mommy loves him very much and again -- Zachary continues to withdrawal himself from me, his mother. His world was now off limits to me. I'm not allowed inside of his private place he calls his shell. I often wonder what Zachary is thinking about while inside of his private shell or where he is nonetheless. I'm worried about my son on whether his Autism is getting worst or I'm I just over reacting the possibilities. I've also been experiencing a lot more of his mood swings to a level that becomes increasingly hard to handle sometimes. I'm mommy first in the matter of finding my place in Zachary's world. It's my job to help my son to understand what's expected of him. What do I say to my autistic son? All I could do is help Zachary understand himself and what is expected out of him as my 8 year old little boy and love him unconditionally and to continue being that loving and devoted mommy.

* Zachary's Words 

Mommy -- I don't mean no harm, but -- I'm bored being here inside of this apartment.  I don't know what we should do about it. 

I want to tell my son, "What can I do about it when I don't drive or have a vehicle?"  I understand that part of my sons withdraw is being cooped up inside of our apartment whenever he come home from school.  I don't drive anymore because of my eye sight and I can't drive him to places he want to go. He's not sociable with other children at times. Zachary is child who want to be in his own surroundings, his world, that's it.  I try whenever it's possible to take Zachary into certain environments he's accustomed to as a autistic child, but I don't want to seclude him fully from the world.  Zachary has to learn what is expected of him in order for him to know how to live in the world with Autism.  I know for a fact, I can't shield my child always.  All I can do for Zachary is pray for him when the time comes when I have to let him go. 

"Zachary's World On Chatter Play Animations"

I hope that you would like what my autistic son, Zachary has created on a website suitable for children like Zachary. He wanted to share his creation with the world.





Zachary's World # 1 Animation


Zachary's World # 2 Animation



If you have a special child on the spectrum -- I would like to share http://www.chatterplay.com with the world.  It's so awesome!  I think all children whether they are special needs or just average I feel would enjoy Chatterplay.com.  Have fun creating your own animations.