Family Silenced

Book 39

Genesis 28:14 - 14. And thy seed shall be as the dust of the earth, and thou shalt spread abroad to the west, and to the east, and to the north, and to the south; and in thee and in thy seed shall all the families of the earth be blessed.



It's been one of those day's. For me...it's consistently going through one of my rough patches. Not a day go by I don't think of my father and everything that has happened from the time during his illness and the time of his death and afterward. My father's death was extremely rough on my twin sister and myself especially, so we continue to pray to GOD and his son JESUS for a good day for the both of us. Still...everything as not as seen! I'm beginning to feel some seclusion from a couple of my immediate family members as well. I asked my self several times, "What is going in with this?

I don't want to experience anything negative from my own immediate family members. I got that in a man-fold with a few of my ex. extended family members. I don't think family from that past time can be mended. Too much damage was done that resulted in my father's death. Something has got to give with this thing that is called, "Family Separation", because it makes no since to me to continue to be separated as a family who suppose to love one another.

Through out my life and the lives of my twin sister and brother, we've experienced so much of separation between extended family and our immediate family, I can't begin to put into words, or even find all the words to place into a perfect sentence. Where is the love, the closeness...the understanding? Another question keeps burning like coals on a fire. I can't help but to keep bringing up day after day since my father's death. What's happening with my immediate family?

What's the silence all about? Sometimes I want to get in my car...my son and I...I just want to ride on the edge of the horizon and into the sunset without looking back. I loved my life better that way without interference from anyone that made me unhappy. I don't consider myself running from a cause, it's just I feel so alone without the one person who made a difference in my life (my father) and now he's in the grave silenced forever. I don't think I'll fully get over that!

Everyday will be a better day I hope and I'm praying for that.