2 Corinthians 4:2 - 2. But have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, nor handing the word of GOD deceitfully; but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of GOD.
1 Timothy 2:2 - 2. For kings, and for all that are in authority that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty.
What more can I do about the situation I'm in with Alrick. He doesn't really understand what I'm trying to do to make his surprise more exciting. But...I told my twin sister Sherri to forget his surprise, and go with what I have with the money to Jamaica. $2,500 dollars to be exact! For me...I feel what I told my sister (to forget the surprise) will be a learning lesson for Alrick, to never doubt what I'm trying to do to make things better for us in Jamaica.
I know in my heart that he'll be upset with me, as he always have been, for a week; in and out of one argument to the next, and its about the money. How will I tell Alrick about the money I had in the bank for my trip to Jamaica? How will I tell him that I'm very short of the amount I said I had? How will I tell him that I had to use most of the money for things I had to do that were very important? I've kept this secret in far too long to let him know why my trip is prolonged.
When I told him about my sister and her husband Lorenzo had to cancel their trip to Las Vegas, Nevada, because of the "Corona Virus" that's lingering around the entire world, and that my son Zachary will not be home alone after all, he snapped on me in a heartbeat. We argued for at least an hour and a half about my sister and her husband's cancellation of their trip, and I don't why that was. I knew for sure that Alrick was going to ask me about their money, and the money I had in the bank. This was why I couldn't tell him about the money in the bank, because I'm very short of cash, and I need a little more to equal the amount I'm bringing to Jamaica (that my sister and her husband are going to give to me) instead of Alrick's surprise that I had in store for him. With all the arguments we had, is the reason I told my sister to cancel Alrick's surprise, and I didn't tell her why I cancelled the surprise.
Like I stated at the beginning of this post, "Cancellation of the surprise will be a learning lesson for Alrick" to never doubt me about anything I'm trying to do to make our lives better. That is the repercussions that one must endure for their attitude, spasms, and mayhem that was inflicted on me. But...most part, I deserve most of the problems that were inflicted on me for not telling Alrick about the money I had in the bank, and that it wasn't enough to really do anything, like taking care of the house the Alrick had reserved for us in Jamaica. I pray the house is still there in the name of JESUS! LORD I pray that it's still there 'reserved' for us to have for the entire month I will be in Jamaica.
I hope that Alrick will forgive me for everything I put him through. For the amount of love that he give me unconditionally, I really need to change my ways, as he stated to me in a conversation we had over a week ago, I believe. I guess I never had that kind of love before, not even with my son's father. I know now how important I am to Alrick. I admit to all the problems I cause Alrick for not disclosing the truth about the money I had in the bank.
I guess I felt...I was most afraid that I would lose my "sweet boy" who's all man for his age...over twenty plus years my senior. I guess I was to...testing myself to see how much this man love me. But still...I'm so afraid I will lose my sweet boy! I pray that he allow me to still come and be with him as his wife in Jamaica. I can only hope when he read this post if the offer still stand and that he will still love me, and be his wife. This is a learning lesson for me as well!
"Well...I had to express myself on 'electronic paper' to prove a point to my fiance, because I couldn't tell him to his face in fear that he would leave me."
No comments:
Post a Comment
This Is An Open Discussion