Proverbs 20:5 - 5. Counsel in the heart of man is like deep water, but...a man of understanding will draw it out.
Psalms 69:14 - 14. Deliver me out of the more, and let me not sink: let me be delivered from them that hate me, and out of the deep waters.
Caution: The identities of my niece and nephew are protected under the love I have for them. Readers discression advised!
More likely, the force is with me in the matter of my status as a unloved aunt with a lot of emotions that has mentally engulped life as far as I saw it. Too much time has passed, and it seemed like nothing is getting better with my relationship with...especially my niece. My nephew on the other hand...still has mixed feelings about me, and the relationship is still a bit estranged in a whole lot of ways. They hardly talk to me about anything, no matter what that may be, they just don't talk to me period. They don't talk about their problems to me, nor do they give me a hint of what's going on in their lives.
What did I do to deserve such attitude? I know I've had some faults that I attend to address on my own, and with no fault of my own, but...will make available upon request. What I can suggest in the matter of my two silent parties (niece and nephew) is that I spot the complete ingredients of selfishness, and a ton of non compassion for me from the both of them. I'm getting so tired of the silent, but...double silent drama. It has taken toll on my life as a mature adult who has been on the peak of the mountain, and I'm starting to climb down with a lot of caution that I don't get tripped up in my emotions that I feel.
What double webs are weaved several times over the doubts I feel? I questions it with a vengeance! And yet...I find myself in tears most of the time when I'm alone with these thoughts dancing around in my head. My steps are light as I continue to walk on egg shells when it comes to my niece and nephew's corrupt attitudes towards me. I know that someday, I will get answers, and why with my conscience they seem to carry this love/hate relationship with me.
My requiring mind really want to know why is this happening to me, after all I've done for my niece and nephew. And sometimes I wish that my twin sister and her husband would open their eyes and see the emotions I've dealt with concerning their children.
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