Living Life In Havoc And Chaos, Only GOD And His Son Can Fix

Book 18

Copyright 2016   All Rights Reserved.

My LORD!  Where do I begin with this?  My heart is so stressed for answers to this havoc and chaos my family and I are going though at this particular moment.  How much more can we take of this madness that consumes our hearts with total animosity? GOD and his son JESUS is the only answer to all of our troubles.  Wow! Life has so many surprises. My family and I can't endure opening another box filled with indiscretions from those who keep the havoc and the chaos in the center of our lives.  It's so hard to fathom and live sometimes with so much animosity going around from point A to point E coming from both my extended family and bio-family.  We're so done trying to fight this brutal farce of a war!  All my family and I can do is pray everyday for strength, understanding, comfort, deliverance from a war we continue to lose every single day.  GOD and his son JESUS will continue to fight for my bio-family and I.  Our hearts and our bodies are so tired of being sick and tired!  What did we do to deserve this much havoc and chaos?  I will put some fault on my dad too for broadcasting what goes on in our home so many years ago and that he claim that his family didn't love him.  "That is what separated the family in the first place."  My bio-family and I love him!  This why we tried to reach out to dad for years from the moment my twin sister Sherri and I graduated from high school twenty-eight years ago, while my brother Wesley was still a junior in high school. He wouldn't budge for any of us when we invited and begged him to spend time with us. We missed a lifetime of Christmases with dad throughout the years after Sherri, Wesley and I graduated.  We were blessed to have at least two of those Christmases with dad.  Dad had his own life.   His bio-family gave it to him to run himself out with other people and families until he got tired and sick of running from the his bio-family who really loved him to the moon and back.  "His bio-family we're the ones hurt in this equation, just so everyone know the truth here!"  It was to the point no one gave my bio-family and I the time of day.  Never being invited to special events, or even told about such events.  If we were told,..it was within days, weeks, or months before we were told of anything that went on throughout the twenty-eight plus years we missed out on everything our extended family had planned amongst themselves.  We were pretty much the 'black-sheep' of our extended family! We will always be nevertheless.  All was forgiven a long...long time ago for what dad did to his bio-family.  I'm praying for all this havoc and chaos to cease.  It's tearing us all up inside; it's tearing up my bio-family and extended family...separating all of us completely.  My GOD and his son JESUS!  "Come into this present situation concerning my bio-family and I!"  Too much is out of control.  "We can't handle this animosity anymore."  Our heart can't take it!  "We're too stressed to even carry this huge and heavy box of surprises labeled with indiscretion."  How much more can my bio-family and I take?  "GOD and his son JESUS...you're in charge of this farce of a brutal war one-hundred percent."  There is nothing else my bio-family and I can do about anything now.  The damage is done!  "We will continue to love dad to the moon and back regardless of the havoc and chaos that is going all around us."  

My comfort:

Psalms 23:1-6:  1. The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.  2. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures; he leadeth me beside the still waters.  3. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name sake,  4. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil:f or thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.  5. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies; thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.  6. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

"Our Family is asking everyone for prayer (whomever see this post) worldwide.  We will appreciate everyone and we will acknowledge everyone prayers to the family in heart, mind, body and soul."

Where Is The Sight Of Dignity?

Book 17

Copyright 2016   All Rights Reserved.

Spokesman: Ms. Terri Celestine Brunson

Acknowledgement:  I'm not trying to cause any havoc, or chaos when posting this message. Sherri, Wesley Jr., Neyome, Mom, Zachary and my love for dad is totally unconditional!  What we can do is try and stay positive throughout any situation or situations that are thrown at us one day at a time.  "No love lost here, or anywhere!"  Our true feelings accordingly.


"Our feelings are mutual!"  Where is the heart?  Where is the dignity?  What is the cost of dignity?  Is it worth losing what little a person has?  There are so many questions lingering with in (my twin sister Sherri, my brother Wesley Jr., his wife Neyome and I) hearts, minds and souls.  What more can we bare, or fathom from what has happened past tense and according to what is going on at this present moment with our dad?  I feel that all of our questions will continue to go unanswered.  It is so important for Sherri, Wesley Jr., Neyome, Mom, Zachary and myself to be with knowledge and with wisdom about what we know is truly the best for our dad and how we feel about things according to what he really want.  I had asked dad what he want to do according to his current situation concerning his health and his comfort.  "He told me that he wanted to go home."  Home!  Is that possible?  Home!  What 'professional' care can we all give him, when unconditional love and his comfort is the only thing available to him.  His dignity is the only thing a human being can treasure and then some.  When will our feelings be officially taken into consideration?  Even as I post, our power is totally limited to what we think and how we feel.  We're so tired!  More tired than we can ever be and imagine.  Totally!  A roller coaster ride we're not continuously willing to keep riding towards no where. What can we do?  GOD and his son JESUS has all power in their hands to fight wars and rumor of wars that my bio-family continue to lose in a nutshell.  No love lost with anyone here, or there, or anyone! It's just Sherri, Wesley Jr., Neyome, Mom, Zachary and I love dad so much to the point where our thoughts should be considered and our minds are at ease for dad's sake.  Of course...we're not in dad's shoes, nor could we all walk, or fit dad's shoes according to the magnitude of his illness, or what he's really thinking.  Dad's has his ups and downs with his pain level elevating; with the reality of his body deteriorating along with his comfort to regain what little dignity he has left every single day he remains on this earth.  Only GOD and his son JESUS knows what is totally best for dad.  " His FATE is in the eyes of the beholders!"  There is nothing any of us can do to sugar coat, or to fix what is broken, or determine what GOD and his son JESUS can do or provide even if it's a miracle.   My bio-family will welcome a miracle, don't get me wrong!  No holds barred what our pilots can do in an instant!  It's just...Sherri, Wesley Jr., Neyome, Mom, Zachary and I are so tired of dealing with things we can't change, or try to change at this particular moment.  As I stated earlier in my post, "No love lost in our hearts, minds and souls for anyone!"  It's just we all love dad unconditionally and want to very best for him.  "But...it's up to dad to acknowledge what he really want to do with the rest of his life."  My wish for dad is infinity!  But...I can't decide; neither can anyone else when fate is still in the eyes of our beholders.

My first thought is according to our 'time' on this earth:

Ecclesiastes 3:1 - To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the Heaven:  2. A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to pluck up that which is planted.  3. A time to kill and a time to heal; a time to brake down, and time to build up.  4. A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.  5. A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing.  6. A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away.  7. A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silent, and a time to speak.  8. A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

"Our Family is asking everyone for prayer (whomever see this post) worldwide.  We will appreciate everyone and we will acknowledge everyone prayers to the family in heart, mind, body and soul."

Let Us All Be Thankful For Life On Thanksgiving Day

Book 16

First of all...I would like to thank GOD and his son JESUS for allowing my family and I to have a wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving celebration with our bio-family and our extended family on my brother-in-law Lorenzo's side.  We arrived late at Lorenzo's sister Vera's new house she and her husband purchased back in July.  It was a very huge house.  One filled with love and happiness.  We were welcome immediately as we walked through the door just in time for all the festivities.  I wanted the grand tour of the house almost immediately when I walked through the door with my family.  Vera walked me around from room to room throughout her house.  I joined my family in the kitchen where there were an endless assortment and difference varies of food.  "Salads, cornbread dressing and giblet gravy, cranberry sauce, macaroni and cheese dish, ham, turkey, baked chicken, greens, Swedish meatballs, etc."  Anything your heart's content, including a ship load of dessert.  "Different assortment of cakes, pies, cobblers, and puddings."  I saw in my head my sugar levels peaking at their highest readings.  My twin sister Sherri looked around for a brief moment trying to decide what she wanted to eat.  Lorenzo brought us plates to serve ourselves anything we wanted.  We didn't waste anytime preparing our plates.  All I could hear while I prepare my son Zachary's plate, there were laughter throughout the house.  Memories were expressed from passed Thanksgiving festivities.  Everyone was having a wonderful time.  I was truly thankful for being surrounded with such love, laughter, and happiness.  Then in a brief moment...my heart and I was in thought for my dad on that Thanksgiving day.  Earlier that morning after my brother Wesley Jr. got off from work, he went straight to the hospital to see dad.  After he came home after his visit, he told our family that our dad was in a whole lot of pain and speaking out of head about certain things he couldn't understand.  "I knew this was one of his bad days!"  What I was most proud and relieved and most proud of was when Wesley Jr. told our family that dad did eat all of his pureed food without any problem taking it in.  My worries was that dad didn't want to take any of his medicines.  The nurses had a hard time trying to administering it to him by mouth.  The way Wesley Jr. described our dad demeanor, "He just wanted to be left alone to rest!"  At that brief moment...I started praying to GOD and his son JESUS for my dad.  I rejoined the Thanksgiving festivities and celebration with my family with dad in thought.   Hours passed.  With our stomachs full and our hearts content with love, laughter and happiness and sleep creeping up on all of us, my bio-family and I headed home as the Thanksgiving festivities came to an abrupt end.  Everyone headed their separate ways.  I was most thankful for my family, my life, health and strength.  Another Thanksgiving was coming to pass and I was most proud to have spent it with such a loving family.  It was a long time coming, especially what my bio-family and I been through for the past couple of months since dad illness.  GOD and his son JESUS ruled Thanksgiving Day.  "My pilots continues to comfort my life and the life of my bio-family."  No more worries!  It's in their hands.  "Happy belated Thanksgiving to everyone worldwide."  Be blessed!

I'm asking for prayer worldwide for my bio-family and for my dad's health.  We welcome your prayers all day...everyday.   I'm very sorry this post is so short!

Daddy: GOD Has A Blessing For You

Book 15

It seems like every time I visit dad in the hospital, he seem so vibrant.  He's had his good days and bad ones.  "Dad surprises me every time I visit!"  Dad seem to bounce back from going down hill...back to feeling vibrant...so full of life.  I realize that my dad's condition will be a very long process.  I know GOD and his son JESUS is good and my dad's healing is on the way in the name of my pilots.   When I walked in dad's hospital room, his eyes was wide open.  I know that I haven't seen that in months.  Being so at the time...dad was deteriorating from his illness.  His voice was shallow, but I could hear and understand what he was saying if I asked him a question.  With stage four liver damage, that was the ultimate possibility.  But with GOD and his son JESUS working their miracles anyone can be healed from their illnesses...especially for my dad.   My sister and I visited with dad for a couple of hours.  It was an awesome visit!  We really enjoyed spending that precious moment with our dad and seeing him improve with his health.  Writing this post and sharing with the world about my experiences with dad and his illness gives me relief and joy.  My bio-family and I pray single day to GOD and his son JESUS for dad's full recovery.   We know dad will recover by our strong faith in our pilots.  Nothing material or mortal can get in the way of dad receiving good health and healing from my pilots.  What makes me kind of sad is my bio-family and I can't seem to get any privacy with him where my dad's concern.  I love my aunt Minnie very much and I know that's her brother, but...I wish my bio-family can have some private time with dad without her being there all the time.   It will make me feel better about what has happened throughout the months past.  I know after writing this post, GOD and his son JESUS will continue infinity to be my bio-family's comfort. Our shield over everything and everyone who didn't acknowledge us with invitations to certain events and extended family get together, or has put us down in the past and during dads illness.  I feel great about that!  So...no more worries here, because I'm not going to dawn on what's passed. My family and I gave it to GOD and his son JESUS.  My bio-family and I are planning to visit dad again, but our wish to have a private visit with him.   That would be awesome!  No offense to my aunt Minnie.  I wish she could understand how my bio-family feel when it comes to dad.  Still...no offense to her!  I would like to express to the world that GOD and his son JESUS has purpose and a blessing for dad.  I know that my dad will pull through and that he will fully recover.  Strong faith, trust, and belief is the key to my dad's healing.





"Both Families are asking everyone for prayer (whomever see this post) worldwide.  We will appreciate everyone and we will acknowledge everyone prayers to the family in heart, mind, body and soul."

Daddy: You've Been On A Long Long Journey

Book 14

Where should I begin?  First all...I'm so very thankful to GOD and his son JESUS for bringing my dad from a mighty long way.  His journey ( ever since June 22) with his sickness has been a very rough one, not one for him; for his biological and extended family.  For the first time in months I've seen my dad improve...and then deteriorate as fast as he improves.  "It's all been an emotional, physical, and a mental roller coaster."  It's has been a super impact on my bio-family to fathom the reality of what has happened."  God is good all the time in situations like my dad.  Even though my dad's cirrhosis of the liver is at it's stage four, I feel he can and will come out of it.  I can't call the guy that I heard about...who lives living in North Carolina.  He had the same thing my dad has.  He recovered with the natural medications (medications made by man...if so) proper healthy eating habits and plenty of exercise.  "Miracles can happen over night!"  I pray and trust in GOD and his son JESUS that my dad can receive that miracle...if it's GOD and his son JESUS will for my dad to return to perfect health.  I still long for things to change when it comes to having full access to my dad's health.  I look at my mother sometimes and knowing she doesn't have that power to make decisions according to my dad's medical health.  I'm everyone who have read my posts know the story from my earlier posts on my blog site.  I'm not going to continue to dawn on what's past.  "For now!"  My attentions are on the patriarch of my bio-family and his journey back to perfect health.  I find myself in constant tears every single day.  I think I'm not the only one in my family who feel the same way. This whole situation with my dad; his sickness has taken toll on family hearts, mind and soul.  I long to see my dad well again in the name of the father, in the name of the son, and in the name of the holy ghost.  "My trust, faith and belief in GOD and his son JESUS are phenomenal."  Nothing can touch how I feel about my pilots.  In a day or so...my family and I will go and visit with dad again and again until GOD and his son JESUS take him to GLORY.  "I feel it will be a long time from now...if dad recovers by miracle from my pilots.  I have a few of my extended family members who has been ever supportive in helping my bio-family cope with the reality of dad's sickness.  "They've been so awesome towards my family in our time of need of support!"  November 11, 2016 I was told that dad's health is improving in some parts of his body.  His eyes were open limited to how he was feeling.  I was told that dad still isn't strong enough to sit up and carry a conversation, or joke with the family about his #HoneyMaid cookies and what he's feeling personally about things and people.  I speak a lot about dad and his #HoneyMaid cookies on my other social sites.  Whenever he feel up to eating,  his #HoneyMaid cookies is the first thing he asks for.  "I pray I see dad ask for his #HoneyMaid cookies again, because it will mean a lot to me."  What else I can add to this post?  Nonetheless...I will reveal that my trust, faith, belief, and hope for my dad recovery is in GOD and his son JESUS hands.  I will not interfere with my pilots giving and their healing.  No man can touch that!  Not by a long shot.   GOD and his son JESUS is good all the time.  My feelings are this.  "I hope that my extended family and others don't take offense to this post.  I'm only expressing my feelings about what has happened in the months past.  Past situations of indiscretion from some are still ongoing, but much calmer.  I've learn to accept the things I can't change.  I've learned that when I give anything...whether or if I have questions about my dads medical health, or if it's my thoughts of how this whole thing with my dad played out, or my concerns about what has and will happen when all comes to a end from the reality of what has happened during the past months leading to my dad's current postition, good or bad.  I know that the fighting and bickering is totally not worth what my dad is going through now.  Judgment is not in my equation to judge anyone; I leave that for GOD and his son JESUS to fight all my battles, wars and rumors of wars when it comes to what my bio-family and I feel about any situation that we're faced with.  "My bio-family and extended family journey towards dad's recovery continues." 

"Both Families are asking everyone for prayer (whomever see this post) worldwide.  We will appreciate everyone and we will acknowledge everyone prayers to the family in heart, mind, body and soul."

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"Daddy"

Book 12 - Special Edition Post For My Bio-Family

I never thought my family and I would see the Patriarch of our family down to a point of being bed ridden.  My dad can't do anything for himself (feeding, walking, bathing, getting from point A to point C) without the assistance of doctors, nurses, CNA's (Certified Nurses Assistants) and everyone in my bio-family and extended family. My dad was so full of life. Everyday single day when he's not busy running errands, or walking his dog Sheba, he was always on the outside of his home barbecuing on his very unique barbecue grill he built special to accommodate the food he was preparing to sale to his friends and other customers who wanted buy barbecue.  My dad's men:  Barbecue ribs, barbecue chicken, sausages, fish, fries, pulled pork, cole slaw, barbecued baked beans, etc,.  "You name it!"  That was the menu for every one's enjoyment for the most awesome and the most tastiest barbecue with all the trimmings.  My aunts (Aunt Minnie) noticed my dad wasn't his vibrant self.  She saw that my dad wasn't feeling well and was looking sort of peeked and totally weak looking.  Aunt Minnie rushed dad to the hospital.  That was five months and one week ago.  It was almost a week after my dad was admitted to the hospital that my bio-family and I was told about dad had been admitted to the hospital.  I'm wasn't going to dawn in haste, or anger about how my bio-family and I felt about not being informed about the patriarch (dad) about his sickness.  The thought of dad having cancer when it was nothing more than a large cyst and "stage two" at the time" cirrhosis of the liver was very overwelming. My bio-family and I didn't know dad was in the hospital for one whole week and that was without knowledge that my he was that sick.  "We figured that time in our my lives considering my aunts indiscretion was over was and done with!"  That was then...this is now!  Part of the past.  My family and I arrived to the hospital. We saw the patriarch like we've never seen him beforebefor.  He looked so tired...like he had no strength what so ever.  He looked totally helpless!  He was breathing was so shallow, like he couldn't catch his breath.  My twin sister, mother Ruth, my brother and his wife (my sister-in-law Neyome saw that dad was in so much pain.  We couldn't bear to see him in the state that he was in.  My twin sister Sherri, my brother Wesley Jr. broke down in a river of tears as we looked on helplessly while dad laid there in that hospital bed in pain and trying to catch his breath.  My strength left.   I knew that my twin sister and brother felt the same.  At that particular moment, I felt as though I was going to lose my mind thinking in reality that dad was at the end of his rope. My sister-in-law Neyome took me immediately into her arms and consoled with the greatest security and comfort.  I really thank GOD and his son JESUS for my sister-in-law when I really needed a shoulder to cry my river of tears on.  I couldn't help but think in reality that my bio-family and I was going to lose dad at any moment.  I for one appreciated my extended family and everyone else in attendance that night at the hospital. There were so much support.  It gave my bio-family and I the sense of security and comfort only GOD and his son JESUS can give more than a mortal man or woman can give. Many events (deception, indiscretion, battles, rumor of wars with my extended family members...I don't care to bring up, or talk about with haste) occurred during the time months after dad was first admitted from one hospital to the next.  It was around the end of August and throughout the month of September.  That was vaguely around the time my mother Ruth got sick.  She was back and forth...along with dad in the hospital.  "One can only imagine having both parents in and out of the hospital at the same time with different aliments."  My twin sister Sherri, Wesley Jr. my sister-in-law Neyome have been through a whole lot in a short amount of time with both parents sick and in and out of one hospital to the next.  Wow!  "That was a complete double whammy!" I'm so glad that all my bio-family and extended family has settled most of our differences.  "My bio-family and I still can't swallow the fact and in thought that Power of Attorney over my dad's health, finances and other clauses carried on the paper that it's written doesn't belong to us as it should belong."  So nonetheless...everyone can picture and imagine the wars and rumor of wars fought between the two families I implicated about earlier in my post about dad.  Like I said, "That war is over and done with!" I'm glad!  The reality of what has happened to my bio-family is still ongoing with disappointment.  In time...my bio-family and I will heal from it.  Although...I can say that my bio-family and I pray everyday to GOD and his son JESUS to help us cope with the extent of the clauses with the power of attorney held over our heads that only the "matriarch" ...the next head of our bio-family should have the rights to. Further most...positivity is the "key to success" for both families to come together in support for dad.  That is "everyone" main focus!   "At this present time, my dad is still in the same state he is in when he was first admitted to the hospital back in June, but he is now in "stage four" cirrhosis of the liver and slight kidney failure."  He's now in the hospital under hospice care to make him more comfortable until GOD and his son JESUS see fit either to take him to glory in Heaven...leaving all his pain behind, or they will provide a miracle for dad to become his vibrant self again.  "Dad's life is in GOD and his son JESUS hands!"  My bio-family and I pray consistently everyday for a miracle that the patriarch (dad) of our family will get well; get up on his feet again; joke with us; prepare his awesome barbecue's and spend quality time with both families in attendance in prayer, hope, faith, trust every single day for dad's "total" recovery.  That will be a glorious and a joyous time in the lives of both families to have dad back in full body, mind, heart and soul.  "In the name of GOD and his son JESUS; in the name of the Holy Spirit."

"Both Families are asking everyone for prayer (whomever see this post) worldwide.  We will appreciate everyone and we will acknowledge everyone prayers to the family in heart, mind, body and soul."

A Biological Family's Prayer For Love, Patience, Faith And Togetherness

Book 11

There is so much that can be done when everyone work together.  When someone "delicate" has been interfered with, it makes it harder to work together...especially as a family.  I've been trying to imagine what it is like to have a real family that understands what it's like to be deceived by someone who didn't take time to realize the extreme damage they've done to destroy a family's trust in their character, their demeanor, their heart and soul,  Then I saw something I thought I would never see in my life. "Very sarcastic...evil minded...excruciating pounds of deception in a form of indiscretion!"  Their true colors were the main source of a situation suffered on the biological family (including me) at hand. So...nonetheless...my family and I stood back and let GOD and his son JESUS fight an unimaginable war that we've been fighting for so many weeks.  At that brief moment, I felt good about what is going to be done once this farce of unwanted power over the Patriarch was left in the hands of GOD and his son JESUS for me and my bio-family receive some kind of relief from the damage that has been done to us.  I'm left praying for strength, hope and having strong faith in GOD and his son JESUS that I will be able to emotionally and mentally endure everything that has happened.  I'm willing to ignore ignorance; if it comes along.  My family and I main focus is the "The Patriarch" of our bio-family.  GOD and his son JESUS will continue to fight this unimaginable war for us.  No more worries about anything!  No guilt is to be felt amongst ourselves.  There is something I must get out of my system in this post.  My brother and his wife has made a schedule I feel will work out for the benefit of the Patriarch's care. I for one don't want to see him go back to a nursing home.  It was devastating to my family and I to even fathom the Patriarch of our bio-family in another nursing home after what happened in the last nursing home he was living in.   It was a total disaster that placed the Patriarch of the family back into the hospital because of his high ammonia levels and extreme neglect of the staff.  Nonetheless...a decision was made from my brother for everyone to work together in the care of the Patriarch of our bio-family.  I can only pray that everyone in the extended family agree with my brother's schedule for the sake of their sibling and the Patriarch of our bio-family.  That will be a true blessing!  "I long for a family that prays together and binds together."  My bio-family and I are so tired of being kept in the dark and lied too about a whole lot of things, especially when it comes to the Patriarch of our bio-family.