Let's Be Honest About The Things We Should Be Honest About!

Book 158

2 Corinthians 4:2 - 2. But have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, nor handing the word of GOD deceitfully; but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of GOD.

1 Timothy 2:2 - 2. For kings, and for all that are in authority that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty. 

What more can I do about the situation I'm in with Alrick. He doesn't really understand what I'm trying to do to make his surprise more exciting. But...I told my twin sister Sherri to forget his surprise, and go with what I have with the money to Jamaica. $2,500 dollars to be exact! For me...I feel what I told my sister (to forget the surprise) will be a learning lesson for Alrick, to never doubt what I'm trying to do to make things better for us in Jamaica.

I know in my heart that he'll be upset with me, as he always have been, for a week; in and out of one argument to the next, and its about the money. How will I tell Alrick about the money I had in the bank for my trip to Jamaica? How will I tell him that I'm very short of the amount I said I had? How will I tell him that I had to use most of the money for things I had to do that were very important? I've kept this secret in far too long to let him know why my trip is prolonged.

When I told him about my sister and her husband Lorenzo had to cancel their trip to Las Vegas, Nevada, because of the "Corona Virus" that's lingering around the entire world, and that my son Zachary will not be home alone after all, he snapped on me in a heartbeat. We argued for at least an hour and a half about my sister and her husband's cancellation of their trip, and I don't why that was. I knew for sure that Alrick was going to ask me about their money, and the money I had in the bank. This was why I couldn't tell him about the money in the bank, because I'm very short of cash, and I need a little more to equal the amount I'm bringing to Jamaica (that my sister and her husband are going to give to me) instead of Alrick's surprise that I had in store for him. With all the arguments we had, is the reason I told my sister to cancel Alrick's surprise, and I didn't tell her why I cancelled the surprise.

Like I stated at the beginning of this post, "Cancellation of the surprise will be a learning lesson for Alrick" to never doubt me about anything I'm trying to do to make our lives better. That is the repercussions that one must endure for their attitude, spasms, and mayhem that was inflicted on me. But...most part, I deserve most of the problems that were inflicted on me for not telling Alrick about the money I had in the bank, and that it wasn't enough to really do anything, like taking care of the house the Alrick had reserved for us in Jamaica. I pray the house is still there in the name of JESUS! LORD I pray that it's still there 'reserved' for us to have for the entire month I will be in Jamaica.

I hope that Alrick will forgive me for everything I put him through. For the amount of love that he give me unconditionally, I really need to change my ways, as he stated to me in a conversation we had over a week ago, I believe. I guess I never had that kind of love before, not even with my son's father. I know now how important I am to Alrick. I admit to all the problems I cause Alrick for not disclosing the truth about the money I had in the bank.

I guess I felt...I was most afraid that I would lose my "sweet boy" who's all man for his age...over twenty plus years my senior. I guess I was to...testing myself to see how much this man love me. But still...I'm so afraid I will lose my sweet boy! I pray that he allow me to still come and be with him as his wife in Jamaica. I can only hope when he read this post if the offer still stand and that he will still love me, and be his wife. This is a learning lesson for me as well!

"Well...I had to express myself on 'electronic paper' to prove a point to my fiance, because I couldn't tell him to his face in fear that he would leave me." 

When Our Lives Is About Unconditional Love And Happiness

Book 157 - Special Edition Post

1 Peter 3:7 - 7. LIkewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. 

Ephesians 5:31 - 31. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.



I've learned so much about my life in one heartbeat after another. I found myself in a midlife crisis, and it was hard for me to believe that I can act out of malice and self pity over things that was not necessary to argue about. My fiance Alrick and I had a terrible argument about doing thinks that mattered to both of us. And for no apparent reason, I started an argument about money, and other things that I don't care to explain, because it's too private to talk about. I was very mean and nasty to Alrick, and I felt so ashamed of myself for carrying on like I did.

I did apologize to my Alrick for my totally ugly behavior. It's just...I don't want to lose what I have with him. I trying to make my way into his heart and into his arms in Jamaica by the end of this month. I just hope that nothing out of the ordinary come up, or I don't let him down, because I've already changed plans from the middle of the month (on the 15th) to the end of month on the 31st of March. I just hope I don't disappoint him! And...I don't want him to be upset with me if something comes up and I can't make the trip at the end of the month.

I'm really praying to GOD and his son JESUS to make it happen for me to travel (even with the Corona Virus) that's going around, I know that my GOD and his son JESUS will put a shield of protection around me as I travel to Jamaica. I know I will be covered in the name of my pilots above. "Please GOD, let me make my trip to Jamaica without anymore problems, or delays." I've delayed Alrick enough to want to be there in Jamaica, and in his arms as soon as I get off of my plane. Please GOD...let it be for me to travel and be with Alrick, and we get married, conceive our baby, and move on with our lives as we see it.

I know it will be beautiful! Alrick love's me more than himself put together. He has shown me more than twice, more than I can count. Communication is a must, as well as trust for one another with honesty without holding back. I give my life to Alrick, as I live it without haste and anger.

I love him so much; even more than myself. Alrick and I will always love unconditionally! 😍😘🙏 "Father GOD...in you holy and blessed name, I pray for Alrick and I, that we make it in our marriage, and that we shall prosper with our lives as we see fit with you ahead of all things that we will go through as husband and wife." We will have problems; we will go through battles fought in wars that we can win together; we can strive and mend our relationship with communication, trust, faith, hope and glory and that we solve our problems in a instant; we will continue to live by your word, I pray...amen. 

Love Doesn't Discriminate Ones Obligations To Love Unconditionally

Book 156 - Special Edition Post

Psalm 85:10 - 10. Mercy and truth are met together; righteousness and peace have kissed each other. 

When I think of all the laughing and talking about everything we could think of off the top of our heads, I remember the good times we had as soul mates so happy and in love. "Those were the good times Alrick and I shared." And then...I think of all the times we argued off the top of our lungs about everything we could think of off the top of our heads, "Those were our trials and tribulations that consumed us at the time of despair." But...we can still love unconditionally with all the strength we have in our bodies to survive it's raft, not only once, or twice, but...a dozen times to the point of losing count of all the times we laughed, talked and argued. This is all in a relationship!

Alrick and I have been through so much in our lives in such a brief time, it's hard to cross all the "T's" and dot all the "I's" through those rocky paths we struggled to walk through without cutting into our conscience. We both pray, we continue in communication about our rights and wrongs, only to see which one weight the most in our vocabulary. We live for our lives, we live for the future; we will still live for all the good times we will have, and all the bad times we must go through just to see how much we can still survive without wallowing in our grief. Alrick and I know there will be times that we will shed tears of sorrow after we've been through an argument, and we know there will be tears of joy when we live, laugh, and love every minute of every second we have a pleasant conversation. That's life above and beyond everything a couple "soul mates" must go through without being reluctant to the consequences and the repercussions it has on the relationship itself. 

Alrick and I are going to live a lifetime of those repercussions it will have on our relationship. We must continue to survive it's raft, and continue to move on towards the future. Alrick and I will love a lifetime, even though our child we will conceive through the unconditional love that we have for one another. Nothing could come in between that, but the LORD our GOD, if they chose to separate us in death. Only prayer and patience will keep us in a abundance of faith, trust, belief, grace, glory, blessings and love with the strength of our pilots above.

We cannot ask for more than that!

For My Father: Who Rides On Deception?

Book 155

2 Chronicles 29:35 - 35. And also the burnt offerings were in abundance with the fat of the peace offerings, and the drink of offerings for every burnt offering. So the service of the house of the LORD was set in order

Synopsis - Through my felling's I still have over my FATHER'S passing, my post expresses what I feel everyday of my life, when I can't stop thinking of my FATHER, and everything that has happen. One thing is certain I have GOD and his son JESUS in my life, and that's all I need to get through the day of my grief, my tears, my memories of my FATHER through and through.

I didn't feel the need to write about my FATHER throughout the month of February, even though, his birthday was in the month. I felt it was too painful to write about my FATHER until now. He is truly missed every hour of the day, day after day, month after month, year after year. I still can't fathom his passing, but...I've learned to deal with the way he went was so tragic. Why I say tragic?

The logic of my FATHER'S passing was beyond what I didn't expect until he told me what was happening to him before he went into a coma indefinitely. When he told me that "She's killing me" that and every ounce of anger in me took toll on my way of thinking, and my actions were well noted in this blog. I could never forget what I think Minnie Lou Wright did to her brother behind closed doors (maybe telling the hospice nurse to administer an overdose of morphine to my FATHER)  leaving my mother (my FATHER'S wife) myself, my twin sister Sherri, and my brother Wesley Jr. without knowledge of what's going on behind that closed door during the time his blood family (immediate) should of been by his side. That was why my FATHER said to my face, "She's killing me." That in itself will leave a scar with me for the rest of my life. 

"Wow beyond to those who do evil upon others" like myself, my mother Ruth, my twin sister Sherri and my brother Wesley Jr.. "What Minnie Lou sow...sow shall she reap all the conscequences, and all the repercussions of her actions towards us, and especially towards my FATHER ultimately." She maybe...or she claim that she is so 'holy' but her day is coming, thus saith the LORD thy GOD, and anyone else who was involved putting my immediate family through hell throughout my FATHER'S sickness. Thank GOD...I can now move on! I was hard not to think that this was my FATHER'S birthday month. 

All is done! What happened in the past...some say...should stay in the past. My FATHER is part of that past, and none of us can't bring him back to us. I continue to think about him a whole lot. Its hard not to under the circumstances revolving around his death. But...I'm trying to live each day with GOD and his son JESUS grace, trust, love, and faith in my pilots. 

Minnie Lou and all who was involved, will never rest easy until they apologize to my family for their foul odor of evil, their twisted bloody lies, and the Power of Attorney Minnie Lou had over my FATHER'S life in conflict over our lives. I want the world to know this about Minnie Lou and her gang of monsters who racked havoc and chaos over my immediate family lives. GOD and his son JESUS removes stumbling blocks out of the way, so the meek can prosper. I can finally deal with that!

Surrendering All The Love One Can Ever Have

Book 154

Ecclesiastes 7:3 - 3. Sorrow is better than laughter: for by sadness of the counternance the

I did something thus day I had no control over. I had to surrender my puppy dog Sheba, because I had no where to place her in the midst of things, and people alike. I had no choice, because where I am, she can't be, with the proper financial stability. I hurt so bad right now, because I had to give her up with tears beaming down my cheek bones, like a river flows it's rapids beating against the shore. I could see Sheba's face in my memory of her.

I hear her bark as though she's right here with me. I know I will never forget Sheba for as long as I live. She was a very beautiful house broken dog with a lot of funny qualities about her. Sheba kept a smile on my face everyday I walked her, pet her, and gave her all the love I could give her, before I turned her over to my brother-in-law, who took charge of her while I tried to look the other way, so I would see her leave out the front door one last time.

I miss her more than the hours that she was taken away from my heart. All I know...I will never forget my Sheba, and I pray to GOD and his son JESUS that Sheba will be provided with a good family who will love her like I did, and that she's not neglected, nor abused. I pray that Sheba will have a forever home to go to.

Resolutions Are A Blessing To Be Alive

Book 153

Hebrews 12:2 - 2. Looking into Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the shame and is set down at the right hand of the throne of GOD.

 

My family and I are about to celebrate New Year's Day, I'm still not about resolutions into the future, because you never know what the future will hold. I'm into saying, "If GOD spare all of our lives through into the next year", because we all don't know if another day is promised. So...I take one day at a time, and pray for another day; an extra day of life to come. I think about what my family and I are going to do for the New Year. No plans are in the making, if GOD spare all of our lives, only living for today.

There is no resolution for today, or any other day in which GOD has given to us. I do believe my family and I will do a little feast...a family tradition that is still in effect today. I don't know why our tradition is made for making a pot of black eye peas and greens, or what it will bring to the New Year, or what it means, but it's our tradition. And it will continue until there is no one else to continue it's tradition.

This post was dated back in December. I never got chance to publish right away, because of my family's set backs, and moving into my niece Octavia's home has left us with complete homelessness. We didn't ask to be homeless, but...I thank GOD and his son JESUS for life, health and strength. Nothing more can be a blessing, but...to have my niece to give her immediate family a place to stay, and we're thankful for it.

We Will Never Forget The One We Love This Holiday Season

Book 152

Numbers 35:31 - 31. Moreover ye shall take no satisfaction for the life of a murderer, which is guilty of death: but he shall be surely put to death

I miss my popski so much...I can't began to fathom what it's been like for us. We think of him everyday, especially around this time of the year, from the day of my FATHER'S death on the 4th of December 2016, three years ago. It's hard not to think of him when it comes to missing his barbecue. We (Sherri,Wesley Jr. and I) haven't been the best of children towards him, I admit that, but...we saw him when we needed to see him) and we continued to come, and we came, and we saw him before we knew fully that our FATHER was really sick.

"That part was kept from us!"  But...I don't want to rehash the past, because it's a bum rush; we (the family) would like to keep old relic in it's place. It's time to think ahead into the future, because...I finally after all this time...let my FATHER go, because I can't bring him back to us ever, but...I would let GOD'S vengeance take over what was done to my MOTHER and his children. We forgive and love everyone involved, but...we will never forget it for infinity. It's not easy to forget what was once a beautiful family...to no family connection at all, because of what was done to my family. No more grudges held against those culprits, because they will meet their day of judgement. I'm only saying what I must say; I'm only expressing how I really feel, and it's only natural to do so when the man we (the family) love has been taken from us for infinity. But...like I said, "We (the family) must let old relic go...and for it to our past tense.

GOD and his sons vengeance is their virtue to fight our battles, but...karma will soon meet up with those who meant my family sorrow. I can say, "I'm comfortable with the way I feel about most things...one...is the death of my FATHER and loving him enough to let him go." Like I said...I can't bring him back to life, but I must go on with living life to the fullest in the name of my pilots. Nothing in my life without my FATHER will never be the same, but...I must go on, no matter how much it hurt. All I have is memories of a lifetime.

I'll settle for those fine memories, because...it's all I have to hold onto.

When GOD And Is Son JESUS Fulfill Their Glory And Their Blessings

Book 151

Matthew 18:26 - 26. The servant therefore fell down, and worshipped him, saying, LORD, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. 


I sit everyday, and wonder about what our lives (the family) would be like on a manfold. It's difficult to say where our future lies when your basically homeless, and no where to go at that particular moment. But...you know what I thought? I thought about how good GOD and his son JESUS is when we knew, as a family that they have forseen our home, before we did. For me my self...I found it amazing what my pilots have done to forsee our future in an image (created by their own) eyes; they see our home, and where it is, and how it's going to be. Blessings fulfilled with greatness and glory.

Our faith is truly strong as Platinum is precious. We (the family) is holding on to faith, trust, belief, hope and grace. That's all that matter in a heartbeat. The people who were responsible for the demise of our lease, and for putting my family out of our home, because of us being on a month to month (without us knowing it) they will see it again when karma fulfill their consciousness, and their eyes will be opened as wide as the latitude would fulfill it width. We already know  our blessings will already be done in a manfold we (the family) will be happy.

GOD and his son JESUS is good all the time as we continue to live one day at a time with my niece, while she's out trucking her big ole 18 wheeler truck. We are very thankful for her giving us (our family) a place of residence for now. Nothing more could of made us more happier. As for Sheba Gold, our family dog, has a place of her own temporarily until we're able to receiver and give her awesome home setting with love. I know that we would be once again be together again (the family and Sheba Gold) whenever GOD and son JESUS say, "We can move now where they will provide us to be as our permanent residence...in the name of the Father (GOD) and in the name of the son (JESUS) and in the name of the Holy Ghost (in Spirit) that's all that matter to us."