What To Do With Time On Our Hands

Book 130

Colossians 4:5 - 5. Walk in wisdom toward them that are without, redeeming the time




Well...I'm getting ready to post the most important post of them all. FATHER'S Day is coming up and I really need to find the words I'm going to write about. I don't think it would be that difficult to find those particular words to write when it comes to FATHER'S Day and the memories I shared with my FATHER, but...I'll figure out what I'm going to come up with once I start writing. Today was one of those days. I'm sitting around doing absolutely nothing, but enjoying my time off to spend it with my family.

We just looked at an episode of "In The Heat of the Night." It just another rerun, but...it's worth a look in order take in all the rest of the episode. Sherri, mother Ruth and I love those reruns of "In The Heart of the Night." We never miss an episode, even if we look at it over and over and over again. I wonder...what else should we do to kill time? It's obvious to know what to do, until Sherri and I go and pick up my son Zachary. We'll figure it all out until then.

Then I came up with an solution! Writing on a clean slate made all the difference in the world with our blank minds and a pencil to write with what ever comes to our minds. Sherri and I made pact in writing down our agenda. And here is what we came up with on what to do with our time. We can thank GOD and his son JESUS for just giving us the breath of life when we need it to breathe, that's number one on our agenda; number two, we thank GOD and his son JESUS for the strength to have when we need it to be strong, and last, but not least, our health when we need it to have energy at its fullest.

We can do all that with our time, and have as much to accomplish with our time. Negativity is a 'zero' tolerance, in which we don't have time to give. Positivity is a must that we should make time for all day and every day. "I think I'd rather have that with my sister Sherri, my mother Ruth and myself just for that quality time we all can share together."

Love Your Enemies

Book 129

Matthew 5:43 - 44 - 43. Yes have heard that it hath been said, thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you. Do good to them that hurt you, pray to them that despitefully use you, and persecute you.


1 Corinthians 13:13 - 13. And now abideth faith, hope, charity these three, but the greatest of these is charity.




Most Heavenly Father...I thank GOD for life, health, and strength. I thank you for allowing me the write this post with heart, mind, and soul. GOD gives me the words to say when, I have nothing to say at all. Here's what I'm going to write about in a positive manner. Its about loving your enemies unconditionally to the extent of joy, even if they don't love you back. Loving your enemies makes you more than a winner; obedient to GOD and his son JESUS, as they love us unconditionally. That is more than a living testimony of when it comes to the love of our pilots.

I experience this with my ex aunt Minnie Lou Wright. She is now my enemy, and I don't want anything else to do with her ever again, because of how she did my immediate family and myself  with my FATHER. But you know...I love my ex aunt Minnie Lou Wright with all of my heart, no matter what the ultimate damage she sustained against my family. I will always show her my love, because it beats the purpose of how I really feel about her. I know where my blessings are in my heart, mind, body and soul. I don't want to ever be deprived of my blessings from GOD and his son JESUS, because it will drain me of strength.

My feelings right now is to suck it up, love my enemy with all of my heart, and move on with life. I don't hate my ex aunt, not by a long shot. It took me almost three years to accept the death of my FATHER, and the fact that Minnie Lou murdered him. When I see her in the street, or in her car, or if she's wandering in the midst of my presents, I will nod my head with the biggest smile on my face. Nothing fake about it. I'm going to be real about expressing my feelings in a positive way. I got too...if I want to receive my blessings from GOD and his son JESUS.

What makes an enemy? A enemy does things without any apologies necessary, no matter the damage caused by affection. I've made peace with myself, and with my heart, mind, body and soul. Only I can fix myself and what's going on with me. It's up to me to come to terms of what happened to my immediate family and myself. I just got tired of being drained of my strength.

Confession Made Into Salvation

Book 128

Romans 10:8 - 15 - 8. But what saith it? The word is nigh thee, even in the mouth, and in that heart that is the word of faith, which we preach. 9. That if thou shalt confess with the mouth the Lord Jesus and shalt believe in thine heart GOD hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. 10. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made into salvation. 11. For the scripture saith, whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed. 




It is time for me to confess what I've been keeping in my heart for almost three years. I just want to  let go of this ton of old rubbish. And now...it is time to give it up and let it go forever. Thanks to GOD and his son JESUS and a woman of integrity to help me see the way to the light and stop grieving all the time and move on with my life. It all started with a question I asked her about our boarder crisis that's going on south of our boarder.

Then all of a sudden, our conversations were about my FATHER and everything my ex aunt(s) put my immediate family and myself through in a nutshell. This woman listened to every single thing I told her. She was in shocked to know of the torment, the lies, and the Power of Attorney my ex aunts had over my FATHER'S life and everything that they put my family and I for the last six months of my FATHER'S life. She told me, "To let GOD and his son JESUS have it; let them handle all of the pressures, the torment, your trials and tribulations, and the battles of wars, and rumors of wars that only they can fight for my immediate family and myself", "There is nothing else you could do, or try to do to bring your FATHER back", "He's gone and there's no reversing his life." Let it go, she said.

This woman also told me, "Don't wallow in something you can never change, because...your only going to be in tears for the rest of your life, and the death of you FATHER is always going to weigh heavy on your emotions, if you let it happen everyday of your life." That brought me to thinking about how much the death of my FATHER has worn down on me like a huge weight. Yes...I can't bring him back to life. The woman was right, "I can't let what happen to my FATHER weigh on me like a weight everyday I think about him. I must let him go and move on with my life." I got to finally let him go and move on, because I was making myself so sick until I almost went crazy again to the point of flaring my Post Traumatic Stress that I was diagnosed with after the death of my FATHER.

After that woman spoke with me...all of a sudden, I felt this huge weight lifted off of my shoulders that weighing me down for almost three years. Yes...here and there, I'm going to think of my FATHER, and I'm going to shed a tear or two, but...I'm starting to feel more relieved to know that I can deal with my FATHER'S death to the point that I'm not crying all the time, every time he comes to thought. I think about what that woman said to me, and how she expressed it in a way that I can clear understand the magnitude of what it was doing to my mind and health. For that...I'm totally grateful to her for talking to me and making realize the reality of my FATHER. I confessed with my grief to her, so that she can give me a solution to my problem, and she gave it. I think I've come to terms with the reality of my FATHER'S death, but it will never get any better knowing that he will never live on the face of the earth anymore.

Sheba's Unconditional Love For My FATHER.

Book 127

1 John 4:18 - 18. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear, because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. 

I find myself thinking more and more of my FATHER, but...I'm not shedding any tears, because...I'm so tired of crying, because I can't bring my FATHER back, but I still cry. The one thing I think about is that I have a part of my FATHER that is loyal and totally special. I've adopted my FATHER'S puppy dog, Sheba. Well...she's not so much of a puppy, she's almost five years old this coming the 13th of May. Every time I look at Sheba, I think of my FATHER. She's a constant reminder of him.

I remember a time when my sister and I visited our FATHER'S graves site. We brought Sheba with us to our FATHER'S grave site. We let Sheba out of the car. She wandered around briefly around the graves. And before our eyes, she walked up to our FATHER'S grave without my sister and I assisting her. She sat down right in front of our FATHER'S grave without hesitation and laid down.

I was astonished! It kind of scared me a little, but...I got to say, with a extensive amount of loyalty that Sheba had for the man who was her caretaker, brought a lot of love, joy and happiness to my heart. Sheba continue to lay right in front of my FATHER'S grave. I kind of wondered if my FATHER soul can see Sheba laying in front of his grave. I wonder if Sheba can see him. Only GOD and his son JESUS know that for a fact.

Sherri and I almost had to pry Sheba off of our FATHER'S grave site so that we can leave. Loyalty guides Sheba's life when it comes to our FATHER, and it makes me happy and totally proud. Even though...I miss my FATHER very much. I feel Sheba miss my FATHER even more than myself, because of her loyalty to him. I can't imagine the unconditional love Sheba had for my FATHER.

One Of Our Lazy Days

Book 126

Proverbs 6:6 - 10 - 6. Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise. 7. Which having no guide, overseer, or ruler. 8. Provideth her meat in the summer, and gathereth her food i the harvest. 9. How long wilt thou sleep, O sluggard? When wilt thou arise out of thy sleep? 10. Yet a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep. 

Its just one of those days I'm just sitting around watching awesome episodes of 'The Little House on the Priarie' and chilling out with a cold can of diet Dr. Pepper...and a little tired too. I'm holding up just fine, if I can only take my mind off of being tired and a little sleepy. All though...it's hard to do sometimes, but...I know that I'll find my way around the deep hanging bags and dark circles under and around my eyes. Let me see...what can I talk about while I got my mind set on what to say? Here's what I say, "I will take some time out to do a little laundry; about three loads and counting."

While I do laundry, then I'll find time to sit down in my favorite spot in the world wide world...punk out and get thirty minutes of rest and relaxation. That's what I'll do to ease the fact that I'm totally out of commission with a lot of sleep in my eyes. Afterwords...I got up and finished sorting and washing my laundry. My son Zachary and I decided to take a ride over to my nieces apartment collect my mother Ruth, my twin sister Sherri and one her grand children, Justin Jr and her daughter-in-law Alysia.

We waited until my nephew Christopher got home from work. It wasn't a hour before he called to let all of us know that he was on his way home. Sherri, our mother Ruth and I packed up all of our belongings and waited for Christopher to come home to his children: Ta'Neisha, the oldest, Laila and Christian. His trucker wife Octavia was on the road dropping off loads, attaching loads to her truck,  and carrying them to different locations all over the central and eastern United States. Once Christopher arrived, we were ready to go home and relax; watch a couple of movies. Sherri, my mother Ruth, Alysia, Justin Jr. my son Zachary, and I left after a brief moment with Christopher, laughing and talking about all kinds of things...our usual stuff we all talk about.

We all arrived at home...I turned on the television...I flipped through all the channels...until I came upon a movie that my family loved. It was called, 'The Soldier's Story'. It was a nice movie with a little kick to it...if you're not too particular about the time period of the movie, which was 1944. Sherri and I were the only ones who were up and about while everyone else decided to go to bed, instead of watching the movie with us. That's how we ended the night into the early morning. That's all folks, it's bed time for Sherri and myself.

GOD'S Vengeance, Justice, Wisdom And My Comfort Will Prevail

Book 125

Job 38:17 - 17. But thou hast fulfilled the judgment of the wicked: judgment and justice take hold on thee.

Psalms 89:14 - 14. Justice and judgment are the habitation of thy throne: mercy and truth shall go before thy face. 

Psalms 119:121 - 121. AIN. I have done judgment and justice: leave me not to mine oppressors. 

Isaiah 56:1 - 1. Thus saith the LORD, Keep ye judgment, and do justice: for my salvation is near to come, and my righteousness to be revealed. 

Isaiah 59:14 - 14. And judgment is turned away backward, and justice standeth afar off: for truth is fallen in the street, and equity cannot enter. 

Everyday it seems to get easier, but...sometimes it get harder to fathom the heartbreak I feel. I'm not going to mention too much what is most important to me, because...I know everyone get tired of me going on and on about my FATHER, but...he was everything to me and more. He is the reason why I write so many posts dedicated to him, so that I can cope, find some comfort, and remember the good times I had with him. But...I don't know how to get rid of the fact that he was murdered. How do I get rid of that thought...that bad memory I ingested into my heart?

Who's to say, or judge the fact that my FATHER was murdered by an extreme overdose of morphine? Because he was! GOD and his son JESUS is the only supernatural awesomeness that can fight my battles, and my trials and tribulations I got through everyday to try and cope with the death of my FATHER. For those who participated in his death, will suffer their fate. And...they know who they are in a man-fold.

I must try to get over him, but...its still hard for me to fathom his murder. I know I must! I know I must give this hurt, this void I feel to GOD and his son JESUS to deal with for my name sake. I know I must leave what was once was alone and let my pilots handle the pain I endured, the emotional havoc and chaos, the deception and indiscretions of those who brought shame to my immediate family and I. It's the only way I'm going to finally heal...just a little...from my heartbreak, the torment my immediate family and I went through, and with the Post Traumatic Stress I was diagnosed with.

Only GOD and his son JESUS will prevail with their vengeance. Stepping back is my only option towards comfort and healing. My pilots is the answer for my world today and then some. I know that one day, I will finally find the comfort from my traumatic situation. One day I will!

The Penetrating Scar That Will Last For All Eternity

Book 124

Psalms 16:3 - 3. But to the saints that are in the earth, and to the excellent, in whom is all my delight.
             27:7 - 7. Hear, O LORD, when I cry with my voice; have mercy also upon me, and answer me.
             39:12 - 12. Hear my prayer, O LORD, and give ear unto my cry; hold not they peace at my tears; for I am a stranger with thee, and a sojourner, as all my fathers were.
             56:9 - 9. When I cry unto thee, then shall mine enemies turn back: this I know; for GOD is for me. 
             57:2 - 2. I will cry unto GOD most high; unto GOD that perfrometh all things for me. 
Isaiah 58:9 - 9. Then shalt thou call, and the LORD shall answer; thou shalt cry, and he shall say, Here I am. If thou take away from the midst of thee the yoke, the putting forth of the finger, and speaking vanity.
John 12:46 - 46. I am come a light into the world, that whosoever believeth on me should not abide in darkness.
Hebrews 13:5 - 5. Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. 




Who knows why things happen when you're living with a deep gash of a scar that effects my life each and every day, no matter the time, or minute, or micro second? I don't think I'll ever heal from that deep gash! What happen to my FATHER effects me when I least expect it to dawn on me like a bad memory. I know that everyone who reads this, get tired of me talking about my FATHER, but...he's the reason why I write about him consistently, so that I can gain some sort of comfort for what happened to him and my immediate family and I when life as I expected had gone totally bad. When you got Satan (Minnie Lou) on the other side of the horizon effecting everything that meant something to us, then I have a reason to talk about it and then some, so that the whole world will know her and what she did.

My FATHER is the reason why I express every trial and tribulation and the hell of what my immediate family and I went through with my ex aunt Minnie Lou and her blanket Power of Attorney over my FATHER'S life. I was in church today fellow-shipping with the body ("bride" in the book of Revelation) of the church. My cousin Amanda came up to my mother and I and gave us a sweet hug...acknowledging our presents. All of a sudden...my mother spoke about my FATHER and how Minnie Lou deceived our immediate family through her blanket Power of Attorney over my FATHER'S life. I gave Amanda the complete truth about what happened to my FATHER.

It was something she couldn't possibly know about when it came to the magnitude of what effects me to thus day. So...I had to give Amanda a brief refresher course of what happen during the last fateful six months of my FATHER'S life. First thing's first...I had to tell her about the last thing my FATHER said to me at close range, before he closed his eyes for all eternity. He said, "Keep Minnie away from me, I didn't want to come from the hospital, because...she's killing me!"  How do I cope with that on my own?

I can only ask GOD and his son JESUS for comfort, because I'm never going to forget what was like a thorny bush within reach for me to get poked. Who could forget what was once was after it happened? I know within a ounce of emotion, I will never forget those words my FATHER said towards the end of his life. My tears are real and plain as day as they continue to thus day when they roll down my face. My FATHER didn't deserve to be overdosed with morphine as instructed by Minnie Lou to the hospice nurse secretly behind closed doors.

I don't care what kind of comfortable she tried to administer like that morphine, my FATHER didn't deserve for his life to be cut short like it did. I will never forget it the day Minnie Lou helped my FATHER into a casket. Never! "Woe beyond the day Minnie Lou made sure the amount of morphine administered to my FATHER was fatal." Only jumping through hoops will fathom her fall, but...it will not clear her from the actual cost of reaping and sowing the possible consequences and the repercussions and everything she put my immediate family and I through with that blanket Power of Attorney and her extremely nasty disposition...she will ultimately suffer within that fate...only in the eyes of the GOD and his son JESUS she will suffer.

Bringing Down The Barbecue

Book 123

Matthew 18:20 - 20. For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.

John 13:34 - 34. A new commandment I give unto you, that ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.




I find myself sitting alone in the living room writing this post to my advantage. I'm sitting here thinking about where my next great idea is going to come from, and when it will take place. I decided to give it a name that is unique to my knowledge. It's, "Bringing Down The Barbecue" it's a name that brings new meaning to a great time that my family and I had in celebration of my nephew Lorenzo, and my niece Octavia's 🎂 Birthday Celebration. My brother-in-law Lorenzo Sr. cooked the barbecue (chicken, hot dogs, hamburger and steaks) the rest of us, just partied hearty.

My twin sister Sherri and I did the rest of the cooking as usual. Homemade barbecue baked beans and macaroni and cheese was the main part of our barbecue menu. It gave more texture and more love when it came to bringing down the barbecue. My family and I enjoyed every single minute together eating...most of us drinking virgin drinks and the rest, well...you know! We would always talk about old times, good times and conversations that were new and present at that particularly brief moment that would bring out a laugh, or a frown of sadness.

But...our family's conversations were very polite and totally tasteful. That's how we liked communicating with one another. Most of the time I found myself dazing out of commission from my family's conversations in thought of my FATHER when I looked at his picture in the middle of all the excitement. I remembered how it was when he barbecued. Boy...I miss his awesome barbecue.

I guess when my family and I have these get togetherness, I think of my FATHER and what it could of been if he was here enjoying these timeless moments with us as family. Wow! It's just I miss my FATHER so much when my family and I barbecue. Given in the memories we continue to share with him is only a brief moment my family and I will continue to carry in time.

Afterwords...I bring myself back from my daze to the barbecue and family. I continued to have a wonderful time with my FATHER in thought. It's much easier on me now I can say, because it's a awesome memory I will continue share with my family and those who were guests there at the barbecue. We continued to party hearty into the late night. Enjoying time with family and having barbecues like the one we had does bring back awesome memories of a lifetime.

We never take anything for granted when it comes to honoring the memory of my FATHER.