My Time, My Life On Standby

Book 159 - Special Edition Post -

     

Romans 8:18 - 18. For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.

I didn't know...I just found out, since I don't look at the news often, but...for the past three days, the State of Florida has been on a lock down, because of the #COVID19 virus pandemic. All of the counties have curfews to be inside their homes at a certain time; I don't know what time the curfew will go into effect, but...I know that it will be until further notice. "I knew this would happen!" Some where along the line, I knew this would happen. This will delay my trip to Jamaica for the up coming days ahead.

I know for sure, Alrick is going to be very upset. I can't help the fact that I can't make the trip to Jamaica. He told me not to delay my trip at no given time. With that said, I got to abide by what is official until the lock down is over. So again...with that said, my trip to Jamaica will have to wait until in April. I don't know where in April that I will be traveling; I know that I'm going to be on delay until then. I'm still waiting on my funding so I can travel to Jamaica, because...my heart aches and I really want to be with my future husband.

I need time with him! I can't stand to look at him through video on my phone no longer. I want to see Alrick face to face. I guess...I can say, things like this happen for a reason, and I don't know why. I know that so much has happened during the time Alrick and I were in a argument, I do know that things with us will get better as soon as I arrive in Jamaica.

I'm praying to GOD, and his son JESUS, that I will finally make my trip to Jamaica. I know that Alrick's anger will soon turn into joy when I arrive there, and we will find ourselves in the midst of our love making; and I know that nothing more will interfere with that. I know our love making will last a lifetime and that it will bring the next generation of our new family into reality. I know that I will always keep that close to my heart for as long as I live life with Alrick as his devoted wife. When this lock down is over, and I receive my money, I will find myself on a plane to Jamaica to be with my future husband, and we can start building our lives to the fullest.

So I say to Alrick, "I know that the time you've been waiting on me to come to Jamaica has been rough, prolonged, and impatient on you, but...I know in my heart when I tell you this, 'When time finally fulfill your needs as your wife, as your companion, as your lover, as your best friend, and as one." lapse, it's a reason for everything that is happening', but...when that time come for me, I will Please baby...be patient with me, because I know that you would like nothing more, than for me to be there side by side with you. GOD and his son JESUS does everything for a reason. I pray so hard that I will be there before our anniversary, which is on the 7th of April.

Your told me once to tell you everything you need to know about me, and what I'm doing and how I'm preparing myself for life with you. Please I beg you...please...please...be patient with me. "I love you more than my life right now!" I love you unconditionally.

Let's Be Honest About The Things We Should Be Honest About!

Book 158

2 Corinthians 4:2 - 2. But have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, nor handing the word of GOD deceitfully; but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of GOD.

1 Timothy 2:2 - 2. For kings, and for all that are in authority that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty. 

What more can I do about the situation I'm in with Alrick. He doesn't really understand what I'm trying to do to make his surprise more exciting. But...I told my twin sister Sherri to forget his surprise, and go with what I have with the money to Jamaica. $2,500 dollars to be exact! For me...I feel what I told my sister (to forget the surprise) will be a learning lesson for Alrick, to never doubt what I'm trying to do to make things better for us in Jamaica.

I know in my heart that he'll be upset with me, as he always have been, for a week; in and out of one argument to the next, and its about the money. How will I tell Alrick about the money I had in the bank for my trip to Jamaica? How will I tell him that I'm very short of the amount I said I had? How will I tell him that I had to use most of the money for things I had to do that were very important? I've kept this secret in far too long to let him know why my trip is prolonged.

When I told him about my sister and her husband Lorenzo had to cancel their trip to Las Vegas, Nevada, because of the "Corona Virus" that's lingering around the entire world, and that my son Zachary will not be home alone after all, he snapped on me in a heartbeat. We argued for at least an hour and a half about my sister and her husband's cancellation of their trip, and I don't why that was. I knew for sure that Alrick was going to ask me about their money, and the money I had in the bank. This was why I couldn't tell him about the money in the bank, because I'm very short of cash, and I need a little more to equal the amount I'm bringing to Jamaica (that my sister and her husband are going to give to me) instead of Alrick's surprise that I had in store for him. With all the arguments we had, is the reason I told my sister to cancel Alrick's surprise, and I didn't tell her why I cancelled the surprise.

Like I stated at the beginning of this post, "Cancellation of the surprise will be a learning lesson for Alrick" to never doubt me about anything I'm trying to do to make our lives better. That is the repercussions that one must endure for their attitude, spasms, and mayhem that was inflicted on me. But...most part, I deserve most of the problems that were inflicted on me for not telling Alrick about the money I had in the bank, and that it wasn't enough to really do anything, like taking care of the house the Alrick had reserved for us in Jamaica. I pray the house is still there in the name of JESUS! LORD I pray that it's still there 'reserved' for us to have for the entire month I will be in Jamaica.

I hope that Alrick will forgive me for everything I put him through. For the amount of love that he give me unconditionally, I really need to change my ways, as he stated to me in a conversation we had over a week ago, I believe. I guess I never had that kind of love before, not even with my son's father. I know now how important I am to Alrick. I admit to all the problems I cause Alrick for not disclosing the truth about the money I had in the bank.

I guess I felt...I was most afraid that I would lose my "sweet boy" who's all man for his age...over twenty plus years my senior. I guess I was to...testing myself to see how much this man love me. But still...I'm so afraid I will lose my sweet boy! I pray that he allow me to still come and be with him as his wife in Jamaica. I can only hope when he read this post if the offer still stand and that he will still love me, and be his wife. This is a learning lesson for me as well!

"Well...I had to express myself on 'electronic paper' to prove a point to my fiance, because I couldn't tell him to his face in fear that he would leave me." 

When Our Lives Is About Unconditional Love And Happiness

Book 157 - Special Edition Post

1 Peter 3:7 - 7. LIkewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. 

Ephesians 5:31 - 31. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.



I've learned so much about my life in one heartbeat after another. I found myself in a midlife crisis, and it was hard for me to believe that I can act out of malice and self pity over things that was not necessary to argue about. My fiance Alrick and I had a terrible argument about doing thinks that mattered to both of us. And for no apparent reason, I started an argument about money, and other things that I don't care to explain, because it's too private to talk about. I was very mean and nasty to Alrick, and I felt so ashamed of myself for carrying on like I did.

I did apologize to my Alrick for my totally ugly behavior. It's just...I don't want to lose what I have with him. I trying to make my way into his heart and into his arms in Jamaica by the end of this month. I just hope that nothing out of the ordinary come up, or I don't let him down, because I've already changed plans from the middle of the month (on the 15th) to the end of month on the 31st of March. I just hope I don't disappoint him! And...I don't want him to be upset with me if something comes up and I can't make the trip at the end of the month.

I'm really praying to GOD and his son JESUS to make it happen for me to travel (even with the Corona Virus) that's going around, I know that my GOD and his son JESUS will put a shield of protection around me as I travel to Jamaica. I know I will be covered in the name of my pilots above. "Please GOD, let me make my trip to Jamaica without anymore problems, or delays." I've delayed Alrick enough to want to be there in Jamaica, and in his arms as soon as I get off of my plane. Please GOD...let it be for me to travel and be with Alrick, and we get married, conceive our baby, and move on with our lives as we see it.

I know it will be beautiful! Alrick love's me more than himself put together. He has shown me more than twice, more than I can count. Communication is a must, as well as trust for one another with honesty without holding back. I give my life to Alrick, as I live it without haste and anger.

I love him so much; even more than myself. Alrick and I will always love unconditionally! 😍😘🙏 "Father GOD...in you holy and blessed name, I pray for Alrick and I, that we make it in our marriage, and that we shall prosper with our lives as we see fit with you ahead of all things that we will go through as husband and wife." We will have problems; we will go through battles fought in wars that we can win together; we can strive and mend our relationship with communication, trust, faith, hope and glory and that we solve our problems in a instant; we will continue to live by your word, I pray...amen. 

Love Doesn't Discriminate Ones Obligations To Love Unconditionally

Book 156 - Special Edition Post

Psalm 85:10 - 10. Mercy and truth are met together; righteousness and peace have kissed each other. 

When I think of all the laughing and talking about everything we could think of off the top of our heads, I remember the good times we had as soul mates so happy and in love. "Those were the good times Alrick and I shared." And then...I think of all the times we argued off the top of our lungs about everything we could think of off the top of our heads, "Those were our trials and tribulations that consumed us at the time of despair." But...we can still love unconditionally with all the strength we have in our bodies to survive it's raft, not only once, or twice, but...a dozen times to the point of losing count of all the times we laughed, talked and argued. This is all in a relationship!

Alrick and I have been through so much in our lives in such a brief time, it's hard to cross all the "T's" and dot all the "I's" through those rocky paths we struggled to walk through without cutting into our conscience. We both pray, we continue in communication about our rights and wrongs, only to see which one weight the most in our vocabulary. We live for our lives, we live for the future; we will still live for all the good times we will have, and all the bad times we must go through just to see how much we can still survive without wallowing in our grief. Alrick and I know there will be times that we will shed tears of sorrow after we've been through an argument, and we know there will be tears of joy when we live, laugh, and love every minute of every second we have a pleasant conversation. That's life above and beyond everything a couple "soul mates" must go through without being reluctant to the consequences and the repercussions it has on the relationship itself. 

Alrick and I are going to live a lifetime of those repercussions it will have on our relationship. We must continue to survive it's raft, and continue to move on towards the future. Alrick and I will love a lifetime, even though our child we will conceive through the unconditional love that we have for one another. Nothing could come in between that, but the LORD our GOD, if they chose to separate us in death. Only prayer and patience will keep us in a abundance of faith, trust, belief, grace, glory, blessings and love with the strength of our pilots above.

We cannot ask for more than that!