Proverbs 1:2 - 3 2. To know wisdom and instruction; to perceive the words of understanding. 3. To receive the instruction of wisdom, justice and judgement, and equity
It's coming up on the day that my FATHER told me he couldn't breathe. How can I come to terms with that? How can I come terms with the fact that my FATHER (not knowing at the time...in three days) that he was going to die? Who could of prodicted that my FATHER'S dying would happen? There were many question I had to ask to make since of what was about to happen.
It's been hard this past year and eleven months and two weeks exactly. But...I thank GOD and his son JESUS for bringing me through my trials and tribulations that I've endured. There was not one day I don't think about him. But there are days I must come to terms with my FATHER'S death. It's time to do so and move on with life.
I know I must come to terms and move on. My sister-in-law told me something that made me think about the time my FATHER showed more love to my extended family instead of his immediate family, even in sickness and on his death bed. Don't get me wrong, I did love my FATHER, still do. I finally figured out some things that made me think about what's totally important, thanks to my sister-in-law Neyome. She is truly a GOD send. Thanks to her inspirational words of encouragement.
I see things now in a better light than I did when I was still weeping for my FATHER. I can now let go of my FATHER and really move on with life. It doesn't feel right some times when I come to think about my FATHER and what he really wanted was his siblings and my cousins more than he wanted his immediate family. That's okay with me now. Blood is more thicker than water.
Water was what me and my imediate family were, and that's what we will always be to his extended family. I could live with the fact that we were never wanted by my FATHER'S extended family and by my FATHER in a whole lot of ways. I can now live with that. I have no regrets about anything anymore. I've learned from from and given words of wisdom, and from my wonderful sister-in-law Neyome.
She sees things that no one else could see in an instant. The goodness in people and the faults in people that I wasn't aware of. Neyome saw that. I'm pretty much thankful for that. I see myself as a whole and no one could ever take that from me now.
The tears has stopped completely. I can now let go of my FATHER...move on. Let him rest in peace. I'm happy about that if only a brief moment. Im fine with it now.
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