Memories of a M O T H E R

 Book 170

Copyright © 2020 By Author:Terri Celestine Brunson. All Rights Reserved

Synopsis:  This post is totally personal to me. I felt I had to write and tell everyone how I feel when it comes to losing my M O T H E R. It is about love, grief, and pain. I pray I can someday be eased of the pain I feel and move on with my life. 

Ephesians 6:1 - 24 - 1. Children, obey your parents in the LORD for this is right. 2. Honor they father and mother which is the first commandment with promise. 3. That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. 4. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the LORD. 5. Servants, be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh, with fear trembling in the singleness of your heart , as unto Christ. 6. Not with eyeserivice, as menpleasers; but as the servants of Christ doing the will of GOD from the heart. 7. With good will doing service, as to the LORD and not to men. 8. Knowing that whatsoever good thing any man doeth, the same shall he receive of the LORD whether he be bond or free. 9. And ye masters, do the same things unto them, forbearing threatening: knowing that your master also is in Heaven; neither is there respect of persons with him. 10. Finally, my brethren, be strong in the LORD and in the power of his might. 11. Put on the whole armour of GOD, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. 13. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of GOD, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. 14. Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the brestplate of righteousness; 15. And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace: 16. Above all, taking the shield of fatih, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. 17. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword the spirit which is the word of GOD. 18. Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the spirit and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints; 19. And for me, that utterance may be given unto me, that I may open my mouth boldly, to make know the mystery of the gospel. 20. For which I am an ambassador in bonds: that therein I may speak boldly as I ought to speak. 21. But that ye also may know my affairs, and how I do, Tychicus a beloved brother and faithful minster in the LORD, shall make know to you all things. 22. Whom I have sent unto you for the same purpose, that ye might know our affairs, and that he might comfort your hearts. 23. Peace be to the brethren and love with faith from GOD the Father and the LORD Jesus Christ. 24. Grace be with all them that love our LORD JESUS Christ in sincerity. Amen (To the Ephesians written from Rome, by Tychicus) 

No one could never replace my M O T H E R. My feelings are mutual when it comes to her. It was hard to see her without life in her body, but... to know that her soul is in Heaven, I know it! My M O T H E R was a "Legion of Love" and she was loved by everyone, known or unknown. She carried that sweet heart and sweet spirit everywhere she went.

When my M O T H E R went to glory on August 8, 2020, part of me went with her. It is hard to imagine life without my "Queen" but...with the help of GOD and his son JESUS, she helped guide me on the right path of righteousness. I acknowledge that very much to everyone who reads this post. My M O T H E R did so much for me, I can never repay her for what she has done for me in my lifetime. I miss times when me, my twin sister Sherri and I went to her favorite store "Ross." She would go into that store and get buried in the clothes in a heartbeat, while searching for that one dress to add to her collection of many dresses she had in her closet. 

Two hours she is in the store, while Sherri and I try to pull her out of the clothes. That was hard to do of course! But...Sherri and I let our M O T H E R shop as long as wanted to satisfy her needs to find a dress, or several dresses she wanted for church. My M O T H E R always shopped for a dress for church and other occasions that she was considering taking part of. She loved to shop that is all I got to say for a woman who dressed to perfection. 

I miss the times whenever Sherri, her husband Lorenzo, my son Zachary, and I would take a stroll in Lorenzo's SUV and we would go to Walmart, or to the Wawa, the fish market to buy fresh fish, or just riding around until the sunset over the horizon, my M O T H E R would always be in tow, no matter what. She was never left home...never! My M O T H E R was never lonely; never wanting to be alone. She basically rode all over the globe, especially when it came to traveling regional and international. My M O T H E R was ready and willing to travel with her suitcases already packed. I will miss that time with my M O T H E R the most. 

She loved hanging out with her classmates; since, she was on the executive board with planning Social gatherings: Banquets, Christmas Party's, Breakfasts celebration at the Recreation Center, or just getting  together with her classmates communicating about things that they loved and cherish. Either me, or Sherri would take our M O T H E R to these events. We never mind it at all, because...that was our M O T H E R. My thought...whatever benefits her enjoyment, Sherri and I made sure she had the luxury of getting there and having a awesome time at each event. 

My M O T H E R never quit, no matter how she felt being on dialysis, having diabetes, or feeling a little faint, that 70 year old woman would always push herself to beat all odds no matter how she was really feeling. I admired her strength totally in my heart. There were days when I thought I would not make it, and my M O T H E R was kicking boldly the rocks at full speed. I found myself honored and proud to have had "Mrs. Ruth Ann Thomas-Brunson" as my M O T H E R. My thoughts are totally clear when I carry this monologue I had about my M O T H E R. 

I can talk about her all day and stretching it out to the four winds of faith and peace when it came putting all my love I had for my M O T H E R, and still I still have that unconditional love for her in the grave. Everyone...love your M O T H E R unconditionally, because...once she gone, she is gone. You lose your whole word in a heartbeat. You cannot replace the "Queen" ever! She is the only one that bore you, nursed you, work almost 24 hours a day, sometimes without rest, gave love unconditionally. Everyone, love you M O T H E R while she is still on this earth, because...you will never get another M O T H E R in your lifetime. 

Our Legend Of Love Has Gone To Glory

Book 169

Copyright © 2020 by Author Terri Celestine Brunson

1 Thessalonians 4:13 - 14 - 13. But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope. 14. For if we believe that JESUS died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in JESUS will GOD bring with him. 

1 Thessalonians 5:23 - 23. And the very GOD of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray GOD your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our LORD JESUS Christ. 

Romans 14:8 - 8. For whether we live, we live unto the LORD; and whether we die, we die unto the LORD; whether we live therefore, or die, we are the LORD'S

Revelation 21:3 - 3. And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, behold the tabernacle of GOD is with men and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people and GOD himself shall be with them, and be their GOD. 

Synopsis:  This is a post that I will always hold dear to me and to my heart forever. My "Queen" is gone to GLORY! I want every one who reads this post to know that my M O T H E R was everything to me. This post will give who is viewing an idea of how much I loved my Queen. She was my entire world. 

I never got chance to tell my M O T H E R every thing I wanted to tell her before she passed away. I had so much to say to her. I had some things that I have done in my life to her that I wanted to apologize to her. I was not all bad about a lot of things I did in my life, but...there were some things that I have done to her that I wanted to apologize. I had this attitude about myself that I wanted to set straight with my M O T H E R. 

So, I went to South Florida Baptist Hospital where my M O T H E R  resided for almost two months.  I demanded that I see my M O T H E R in spite the COVID19. I was wearing a mask, but...I was determined to see her face to face so that I could tell her how I felt. Earlier that day as I give a timeline of what happened before I could give my apology, my M O T H E R had a cardiac attack during her Dialysis. She had died for 45 minutes, before she was revived. She had already a stroke two months before. 

But...with all that happened to her and being on a ventilator (life support) not breathing on her own, and being in a coma, I prayed that she could hear me even though when I apologized to her. I was wheelchair bound and on my way to my M O T H E R S room. I could not walk because I was so weak and numb dreading to see my M O T H E R in the state she was in. I arrived to my M O T H E R S room not knowing what to really expect. I saw my M O T H E R on a ventilator, wires were embedded into her neck and bags of fluids going into her veins. 

The nurses who were taking care of my M O T H E R had turned her towards me so that I could see her, because...I was not allowed to go into the room to see her, touch her, hug her, or kiss her, because...of the COVID19 virus had taken over every one's lives. I sat there in that wheelchair and I stared at my M O T H E R with tears in my eyes. It was a sight to see her hook up to everything I could think of her being hooked up to. She was not breathing on her own or responding to anything. My thoughts were, "I did not want to see my M O T H E R like she was and I wanted everything that she was hooked to taken off of her immediately."  

It was like, "I did not want to see my M O T H E R suffering anymore, because...she suffered enough throughout. She had a good 22 years since she had her magic kidneys and then after her kidneys shut down she been off and on Dialysis and that she had been in and out of the hospital." I knew that my M O T H E R would of wanted to be taken off of what was keeping her alive. Before I decided, I apologized to my M O T H E R for everything I did to her. I apologize for always yelling at my M O T H E R. I apologize for always trying to be right when I knew I was wrong for everything I done to upset my M O T H E R. I apologized for not being the daughter she wanted me to be. 

"In my heart, I know she heard my apology." I think about the times I did those things to my M O T H E R, all I be is ashamed of what I was to her. I cannot get back from my M O T H E R of what I should of been to her as her daughter in the first place. I got to live with that! I told my M O T H E R that I loved her unconditionally. 

And then...I made the hardest decision I had to make concerning my M O T H E R S fate." It took me 10 minutes to fill out the papers to remove the ventilator and all the bags of medications my mother was hooked to. I hesitated as I looked at my M O T H E R with tears in my eyes and then...I signed and I did not know how I signed, because...I had so many tears in my eyes. I was the last one to see my M O T H E R before I had the male nurse to take me away from my M O T H E R S hospital room, because...I did not want to see her nurses remove the ventilator or any of the medications she was hooked to. I would of been too painful to me. 

I was taken to my car by wheelchair, because...I was too numb to walk. As I looked back at the hospital, I wondered how long it would of taken after the ventilator and all the medicines and wires were taken off of my M O T H E R before she passed away peacefully, because...my M O T H E R looked like she was in total peace the last I saw of her. From the time I left the hospital, it was a little after 4:00 pm. It took almost 2 hours; my M O T H E R passed away very peacefully. She was in no more pain; she was not suffering; no more crying, no more Dialysis, no more in and out of the hospital. 

My M O T H E R was gone to GLORY! My sister Sherri, my brother Wesley, and I had to let our M O T H E R go, because...we did not want her to suffer anymore in her lifetime. We wanted her to have a wonderful life in Heaven as she lived a wonderful Christian life in the name of GOD and his son JESUS. Our M O T H E R was a beautiful woman in her FAITH and in her HEART. Especially...in love for every one known and unknown. "She was a Legend of Love!"